Keith Talent

"All of his bacon is made in the celtic tradition" While drunk?

If you want a good time, okay good time may be an overstatement, at Save On/Urbane Fair, ask the butcher to cut you a two inch steak. Make him keep doing it until he/she gets it right. I swear those people have the spatial thinking ability of an Albertan motorhome driver in an Escher print. I think my record is burning through five pounds of meat before they managed to get it right. "No, twice as thick as that. Uhh uh, that's three inches. Okay, that's close, now just do one with half as much again." Alright, maybe frusterating is a better descriptor of the activity than "good time". Shouldn't this be first day stuff at butcher school? One inch, two inches etc? I think the only qualification to work the meat department at Save On is an ability to face the skanky side down in the tray, and to ensure you have a high level of proficiency at stuffing the underside of the little foam trays with fat and grizzle. Don't get me started on the tribulations I face when attempting to buy proscuitto at the deli counter at Save On. Last time I was at Urban Fair, they had an alligator for sale. It led me to question how stupid your average Yaletown hipster is if anyone in the neighbourhood is willing to pay $130 for what essentially resembled roadkill. Whole skinned baby 'gator. Yum. You know some asshole trader overgrown frat boy type threw it on the BBQ in an attempt to impress his sophisticated friends. Where the hell do you even learn how to carve a reptile once cooked? I'll be willing to wager that that a bottle of Yellow Tail was cracked to drink with it.

Thanks all - I've never tried Windsor Meats, so I'll head up there soon. I agree that the meat at Costco tends to be really good. The little lamb chops are superb, eaten in hand like chicken wings with a nice glass of vino after a hard day on the golf course, satnding around the barbecue working on the main event. I have to send friends or family when I want something at Costco, I gave up on the place. Too many times I abondoned full buggies upon seeing the checkout lines. Plus I have philisophical issues with paying to shop somewhere. (Yeah, I see the irony, I am one of the ages great thinkers. Ancients spent days pondering the nature of God, I've developed a treatise on shopping club membership dues.) The madatory "we suspect you're a thief, now prove you're not" Checkpoint Charlie on the way out also made me rethink if I wanted to give those bastards my money.

Thanks for all the help. I think we've settled on Provence. *DISCLAIMER - NO DECISION IS FINAL. ALL PLANS SUBJECT TO THE WHIMS OF MRS. TALENT. Anyway, we're trying to decide between being based around Avignon or Aix-en-Provence. Any more opinion out there? Merci

Any tips as to the cities best butcher? Or is it a moot point in these days of mass produced factory cows that are all pretty much the same and cutting the animal up can't really change the quality of the animal anyways. Bought New Yorks at Cioffi's on Saturday, cooked them last night. Pretty average. Had high hopes due to the claim the beef was AAA Alberta grain fed. (And as an aside, here's why Italians rule, the butcher asks "you need a couple sausage on the side with that steak?" Hell yeah I need sausage on the side. In retrospect the question may have had more to do with disguising the fact that the steaks were basicly flavourless, but at the time I took it as a gesture of Italian overindulgence/generousity. So where should I get my meat?

I guess what I'm looking for is specific recommendations, France, I suspect, is wonderful everywhere and wherever we go will be great. Eliminate cuisine, and I guess the criteria become somewhere local, ie. definately France, as opposed to places like the Algarve or Costa del Sol in Spain where you may as well be in Britian. Economy, somewhere my Euro isn't robbed from my pockets like a Scandanavian tax minister are is charge of my wallet. Then again economy and local seem to travel together. The only other thing would be somewhere with wine production, to tour vineyards and wineries. Does France have a similar system to Italy with the Agriturismo accomodation designations? I can see myself in a stone building on a hilltop surrounded by vines sipping local plonk snacking on great hunks of foie gras, cheese and coarse pate waiting for my wife to finish doing her hair and makeup prior to going for dinner somewhere simple, but authentic and good. Maybe Provence if the weather still will be fine should be given extra consideration over more northerly locales. I'm getting out the darts and a big map of France.

Thanks. What I meant when I said take the food out of the equasion is that it will be (I hope and am 99.9999% certain of) equally good anywhere, so it can be discarded as a selection criteria.

My wife and I just bought airline tickets to France, It'll be our second trip in three years, and thus want to get out of Paris this time. We're on the ground nine days and would like to spend three in Paris, so my question is; Which region should we see next? We fly into CDG and arrive at approx. 11 AM so would be free to get on a train that day and head out. Assumably we'll rent a car at the other end and hopefully head somewhere rural-ish, but still in striking distance to urban centres? We've discussed Alsace, Burgundy and Bordeaux. Don't know if it's significant, but we'll be traveling in November. So the question is, where should we go? The problem is you take food out of the equasion, and planning gets tough, as that is generally the prime criteria in my family picking destinations. Thanks in advance. We get the destination out of the way and I can start quering the board on specific restaurants and places to stay.

So anyone have any guesses why locals don't eat outside? Hell, even the Starbucks rarely offered outdoor seating (and my sample size on that survey was huge, do you know how dense the concentration need to be to make a Vancouverite observe their preponderance?)

Careful, I'm in an exceptionally bad mood today, for while you were gallavanting with the beautiful people in Whistler, sipping Champagne, err, Canadian Sparkling Wine from maidens slippers and dining in style, I was taking my kids on my first ever camping trip. Yeah, I borrowed the inlaws trailer and pickup and headed down the I-5 to Ocean City Washington. We went with three other couples, all who also brought their kids, bringing the total of dirt monsters under four years old to seven. Read that again and reflect on what my mental condition is like. I've been working all day on scrapping the remenants of dirt from my finger nails, and have taken two showers since getting home last night, yet still detect a lingering hint of burning hemlock on my person. Even reasonably good wine tastes crappy when camping. Here's where I ate; Nowhere. Here's what I like about camping; Nothing. If my kids don't eventually repay my recent acts of kindness by becoming tennis professionals or marrying into the Gates clan, I will be pissed.

I read The Accidental Connoisuer and quite enjoyed it. I particularly like what he said regarding "kids" wines vs. "adult" ones, namely the giant in your face new world wines appeal to a basser instinct that requires plenty of gratuitous satisfaction opposed a more restrained mature appreciation of wines of subtly. I did however find it both odd and disconcerting the number of references he makes regarding bombing around Europe in a rental car blottoed. Kept thinking it was a cultural thing, nope he lives in NY, then thought it may be a function of the book being old, but nope, it was written recently. Probably some subtext involved that I'm too dense to rekon. Still seems like a strange thing to disclose (repeatedly). It's the kind of book that you wish came with a pack of minutures, or even better full bottles, so that you could drink along with him, really know what he's talking about, seeing how he (somewhat disingenuously) claims to be total crap at describing a wine, rejecting most of the common methods of writing about vino. Highly enjoyable. Another book to add to the list is a local one I just finished by Eve Johnson formerly of The Sun who's published a collection of her columns in a book of essays called "Eating My Words". I always enjoyed her in the Sun, and (mostly) liked the collection. She occasionally veers close to preachy earth mother school marm territory, but what do you expect from someone that gives up food for becoming a yoga instructor.

Just back from a week in Waikiki. We had a great time, in spite of meals that were less than inspired. First, lemme get the gripes out of the way then I'll talk about some of the places we liked. If I ever see another plate lunch, it'll be too soon. We hit all the popular local chains, and a few "independents". The appreciation of the plate lunch must be a cultural inbred thing, becuase the appeal was lost on me. Generally had grilled mahi mahi, with a few forays into katsu chicken, grilled ribs and grilled chicken. The greatest disappointment was the place run by the people behind 3660 located at Ward Centre. Kinda hoping for a creative modern take on the classic, sadly throwing pineapple salsa on fish doesn't show quite enough effort at innovation. The pork spareribs were average at best, meaty but swimming in an overly sweet gloopy sauce. The meals we enjoyed were at Sam Choy's Crab, Dixie Grill, and a Carribean/Mexican place on Seaside acroos the street from the Imax and Thrifty Rental car. Sam Choy would be popular anywhere. Good drinks, convivial atmosphere and truly excellent service, which is a rarity in my experience in casual places. The only downside was the place is by Vancouver standards, crushingly expensive, but then again most everywhere in Hawaii is. I started with an appetizer of Poke, which was excellent. Each cube of flesh looked liked a jewel, nicely translucent, with a rich sesame oil based flavour that gave the dish a rich meaty flavour. Had rare tuna next. Perfectly cooked with a shitake creme sauce, which in retrospect seems like an odd combination, but worked well. Who knew? The sauce was excellent, no "Campbells mushroom soup flavour", instead a strong shitake aroma and generous portion of the mushrooms themselves. Wife had the 22 oz. prime rib, which was on special. First, who the hell orders a 22 oz. prime rib? Nicely rare, made superb sandwiches with the 12 left over ounces the next day. Got pretty good bread at the St. Germain bakery in Waikiki across the street from the Ohana East hotel. Dixie Grill was the place to dine with kids in Honolulu. Ate at the Ward Centre location, and although the barbecue is nothing special, the outdoor sand box for my hyper active progeny to terrorize while I suck ribs and drink vino was awesome. I beleve it was the only place we ordered a bottle of wine, as it was the only place we knew we could linger. Fat Bastard for twenty bucks, pretty good deal, nice bottle of BBQ wine. I had the sampler platter, with a side of collard greens (fantastic greens, slightly spicey, perfect texture, the pot liquor was THE place to dip my wifes hush puppies into.) The mexican joint (little help with the name? Sorry I don't remeber, something with alot of "C's"?) On Seaside was the best food we ate on the island. Why can every city on earth with the exception of Vancouver support a good Mexican restaurant? Wife had Jerk Chicken, I had Pork Chile Colorado, lesser Talents shared a burrito, which they sucked back as quickly as their dad tends to do with good scotch, sure sign of quality. Ate at a fair number of ramen holes in the wall in Waikiki. Universally good soup, universally poor gyoza. Very expensive by Vancouver satndards, maybe twice the price as here. Couple last restaurant observations. Locals don't seem to eat outside except at the beach, why? Outdoor seating seemed rare at best, which struck me as odd. Ate lunch at the Cheesecake Factory our last day. I take back the bad things I said above about plate lunches, I'd gladly dine on them rather than go to this place again. I had a burger, which admittedly was excellent. Bless the USA and their fight for freedom to order a medium rare burger. My problem with the place was the obscene quantities of food served. I'm not shy about portion size, but this place goes so far over the limit as to be gross. The place has a creepy gluttonous vibe. And one last bitch, non food related. Went to a beach on the North Shore. It was very busy and as it was time to leave, Mrs. Talent suggest I move the car into the loading area to free up a spot and prevent someone waiting in a hot car for us to load up all our gear and two pre-schoolers. Shower, dress, pack everything to the curb. Go get the car. Our own little gesture of Aloha spirit, honestly. Pull into the loading area, open the trunk, huck a bunch of stuff in and leave it open, stand 20 feet away in the shade of a tree with my daughters while Mrs. Talent finishes changing. Cop pulls up flips on the lights. Hmm, must be a disturbance on the beach, I think. He hops out, walks to the front of the car, writes the license plate number, as the rear was obscurred by the open trunk, and at that point, a light goes off. I walk the five paces and ask him if there's a problem. No parking, loading only he says. I am, I reply, see the open trunk? Then he tells me he's been parked there for five minutes behind me. Really, I query, seems odd being that I've been there only two, and I din't want my two daughters waiting in the hot car, as it hasn't been running long enough for the AC to be working yet. That doesn't make him happy. He gets aggressive. Want to take a ride downtown and discuss it he asks? What the hell? I'm going to get arrested over a minor parking infraction? Holy shit. No sir, I stammer, my apologies, yadda, yadda, yadda. This now goes into the books as most egregious tourist scam I've ever experienced. He clearly had the ticket written prior to arriving, slap the licence number on once at the scene and bully your way through any queries for the hapless victim. Aloha to you too, Honolulu Police department. Fortunately, paying the 30 dollar ticket is a snap online at the police web site. I could go with a shave ice right now, large pineappple/coconut, with beans, please. Aloha

That's perhaps the most f'ed up thing I've ever heard. I don't want to cast undue aspersions on any particular nationality, but hell, they were Americans, right? I'm not even a good father and I recognize that's idiotic, imagine if someone that knew something about child rearing was to weigh in. And we wonder where a generation that pines for a fifty dollar burger comes from. That's just wrong on so many levels. I eagerly await the two hundred dollar Lafite Slurpee and the foie gras stuffed corn dog. And you've got to be a pretty damn good service professional to deliver Pheas-fingers, I'd have delivered a lecture prior to bring out the food.

I think you need to clarify for our new English friend. Outdoor patio heating technology makes it easier for the dope smokers to enjoy an after dinner puff, cigarette smokers are still sent around back, where the good citizens of the city don't have to cast their gaze upon these filthy weezing wretches. As everyone know, (tobacco) smokers are the lowest rung of the Vancouver social ladder, lower even than herring spawn harvesters.

Back to the almost topic, there's no question that RF could spend a million bucks reterofitting a kitchen, the question is how does it make financial sense? Using the standard 10% net profit margin, the restaurant needs to sell 10 million extra just to break even. I understand tye need to maintain the kitchen, but this large an investment makes no sense from a finacial perspective, unless there's more to the story.

RF Drive-Thru Jamie Okay, anyone with a better grasp of the financial innerworkings of the restaurant biz than Jamie or I want to take a shot at this?

Anyone with a better grasp of the financial innerworkings of the restaurant biz than I care to explain this? Restaurant is already close to capacity, where does the payback come from? Purely ego thing, having an absolute state of the art facility? I can understand if this was in conjunction with a dining area expansion, but this seems to purely increase costs with no ability to generate extra revenue. What am I missing?

So we're just back. Skipped dinner in Penticton, only half the group came to the wineries as a result. Hit La Frenz, Red Rooster and Lang. I'll be honest, I really have very very little to say about the wines. The problem is the tastings you receive are so absolutely miniscule, that any type of educated assesment is impossible. The niggardly few drops you are doled barely coat the sides if the glass. They are doing themselves more harm than good, economizing on tastings. A wine region with a rep for thin over cropped grapes should probably do everything to enhance the full bodied aspect of the wine. If I can't coat my tongue, get enough so that the vapours can hit my pallette, what's the point? I understand It was a long weekend, the freeloader drunks are out, but seriously, don't offer tastings if you're not going to show your wine in the best possible light. Lang used glasses that has a thimble sized bowl that opened out like a flower, so swirling/sniffing was out of the question. By all means charge a tasting fee that allows you to recover the cost of the wine, then pour an ounce into my glass. La Frenz charged two bucks a head, then proceeded to pour like they were dispensing anti-venom. Went to Blasted Church the next day. They had a pretty good Pinot Noir, but then again it was basicly impossible to tell. Tried the Lemberger. There's a reason why Lemberger is an unknown varietal. This wine had a colour that would scare the guy that puts in the dye at the Kool Aid factory. Shocking pink, with a neon hue. Fair enough, it closely resembled our eyes, being that it was 10AM Saturday morning when there, but still. Out comments ranged from "I've never seen an iridescent wine before" to "that stuff is the same colour as the nail polish favoured by twelve year old girls. It was frightening, and not particulary tasty either. For some bizarre reason we decided to stop at a Greek restaurant in Hope for dinner Sunday night, something to do with the Euro Cup and the Greek victory. I dunno, I didn't vote for it. Anyways, it was called Papandreas, and was the first spot you hit when headed west taking the first Hope exit off the Hope Princeton highway. I had the roast lamb. You know what? It was really really good. Moist, flavourful and perfectly fall off the bone cooked. Pretty much everyone elses meals were disasters, but the lamb was pretty damn good. Kraft Italian dressing on the greek salad was a unique culinary choice made in the kitchen, but hey, who am I to second guess, they were the cradle of civilisation after all.

To clarify, it was a letter to the editor, rather than an editorial. Although from my perspective the points made were superficially valid, my tiny insight into the review procedures at Vanmag discredit pretty much everything the letter writer has to say. I agree, it's boring to have Lumiere as the Restaurant of the Year, but honestly if you eat out much in Vancouver, you'll have to concur with their assesment. Anyway, cheers to the editors for publishing the letter, and allowing Jamie to respond. And James Barber was considerably more lucid than usual writing on flank steak this month, what gives? And regarding Parkside being under the radar, well, it is. Ask anyone about it who isn't a serious devotee of eating in Vancouver about it and you'll get the same blank stare you get from a White Spot waitress when you ask where the balance of your parties meals are. It seems more popular than it is to us, because of the exposure it gets here. And Daddy, you can save your magazine budget by getting Vanmag free by moving into a more desireable postal code. Somewhere between Granville and Oak on Matthews Ave. should do the trick. Or you could do like I do and subscribe, it's an inconsequential sum. Deny yourself half a bi-weekly session sticking fives into thongs at Bradi's and you'll be fine.

Weekend after next there are eight of us going on a golf weekend to Oliver, (we're actually staying in Okanogan Falls and playing golf in Oliver). After golf one day I'd like to head up to Naramata to check out some wineries. Any advice as to which Naramata Bench wineries to hit? Also, after that we're going to stay in Penticton for dinner, where should we go? I'd prefer to avoid pubs and was thinking about Earls/Milestones/et al as a last resort, but would prefer something else. This is a group of eight thirtysomething guys, so please no antiques or tearooms, but it doesn't need to be a sportsbar either. Preferably a good solid restaurant. Any tips?

There was a full page ad for Poets Cove on the back page of the review section in yesterdays Globe & Mail, if anyone wants to sort through their blue box. Looks very nice, opening special $547 (+/-?), two people, two nights, breakfasts and $50 credit towards dinner. Only one question, I could figure out my own evening entertainment, but what the hell do you do on Pender all day?

Are there different styles of Dosa? Went to Nooru Mahal last weekend for lunch, and the Dosas were quite diffent to what I've gotten used to at The Quillon. Crispier, and far less crepe like. Far more pronounced chickpea base. They are diffent enough that I suspect there's more than one style, as they're clearly not the same, it's not a case of two cooks preparing a dish differently.

Corkage is illegal? You certain?

We were off Gilpin a couple blocks east of Royal Oak. Our house was hard up against the bush, (which has a road cutting through it now) and spent at least 95% of my non-berry picking time running around out there screwing around at the lake and taking the ultimate extreme adventure, walking out to the fence of the prision. Never thought about it until now, but having a high security prison in the neighbourhood probably wasn't good for property values. There's my Mom saving a buck again. As a kid it was almost the ultimate status symbol, "I've got a prison in my backyard!" I remember being in the bush and you would hear the escape alarm bells ring and you'd tear ass home as quickly as you could. Sorry, I forgot this was a food board, I'll get back to tearing down some chain or praising Parkside or whatever the hell it is we do here.

You work for Parkside, don't you?