Keith Talent

So Kintaro is no longer worth the wait? Cool, contrary to what your school treachers may have told you, procrastination is an effective technique for ticking things off your "to do" list. And according to James Barber in the current Vanmag, the secret to at home Sappro Ichiban is a cup of wine, (in the pot). Okay James, you just continue dicing carrots with that butter knife and we'll continue considereing you one of the cities great culinary lights.

I opened a bottle of this on Saturday night, we had friends in for dinner, and it made a fantastic choice. I think of this wine a being Aussie shiraz for people tired of Aussie shiraz. As much as I love big alcoholic fruity wine, sometimes they get to be too much. It resembles a shiraz to my pallette with finesse. Kinda what Aussie shiraz wants to be when it grows up. More refined, more subtle and way more sophisticated. Cheers

Add any restaurant with the name "Mountain" or "Hill" in its' full name.

No you wouldn't. Sidetrack. Screw the players, screw the owners, screw the league. You morons give me a call when you get your shit worked out, until then I'll not be caring.

I'd say that collectively, the restaurants on Granville Island cruise on location rather than cuisine. They'd be my vote for the biggest underachievers in the city. If I had to single one out, it'd be Bridges. I've always wanted that place to be far better than it is. I don't know how much play this topic will get, isn't the whole point of being an e-gulleter having the ability to avoid the underachievers? Actually, scratch everything above. I know the worst restaurant in the city, bar none. I am a somewhat frequent guest due to my job, and going there becuase it's either where the client wants to go, or the party picking up the cheque. The worst restaurant in the city is...drum roll...The Brew House at GM Place. Ungodly bad Sysco-esque inspired cuisine, at a price that could have seen you eat at West. Like paying fourty bucks for a ten dollar Aussie shiraz? Like 30 dollar prime rib cooked to resemble burnt leather? Want an appetizer where without exception, everything is deep fried, with the exception of the clam chowder, which deserves a thread of it's own? You'll love this place. Plus, you can get a seven dollar beer in a plastic cup! Hands down, the most egregious offender in the category Vancouver restaurant that slides by on its' location alone.

With all due respect, I'm calling bullshit. You show me a three year old whos idea of fun is sitting quietly for long periods of time in a stationary upright position, and I'll show you a child that is well disciplined, but not really living the pint sized vida loca.

Lets see, on the way down we stopped at Villa Ortega in Peurto Neuveu for the traditional fifteen dollar "lobster". This is our second year stopping at this place, and lets just say, you come for the view/deck/sunshine and not the crustacean. Cold, tough, overcooked. Pretty good margarita though, although in my experience, the first margarita south of the Rio Grande always tastes excellent. Then Mahi Mahi as detailed above for dinner. Breakfast at the hotel. Coffee and pastry. Someone needs to tell the Mexicans, and maybe the Italians could also sit in on the meeting, that they aren't nearly as good pastry bakers as they think they are. Lunch at the Cafeteria detailed above (I have no idea why it was called a cafeteria, more like a diner/coffeeshop. Ahhh! Cafe=coffee. I get it.) Dinner at La Finca after checking out a place just North of town on the west side of the highway, south of the Punta Moro resort, its' name I can't recall. We didn't eat there as it was slightly too formal for a couple of little kids. Breakfast the next day was forgetable, whatever it was. Lunch was in some gringo taco stand in Rosarita, filled with suburban LA kids trying to act street. The waiter who was also the owner brought us one of virtually everything on the menu, why I have no idea, fortuneatley the place was cheap and a twenty covered the tab. We had universally good salsa and chips almost everywhere. I suspect the tomato shortage has improved tables everywhere. We received salsa verde made with tomatillos and a new salsa, one that was red but seemed to consist primarily of dried red chilis rather than tomato, warm but not hot, it was a vast improvement to my palatte to tomato based salsa. Our dining choices were rather random, based on whatever restaurant we happened to be walking past when the regularly consistant cloud bursts happened rather than any cohesive plan. . Got massively lost in Tijuana on the way home. Flooding had closed the roads to the border, we were told to turn right at the first light, except the street slowly and sneakily turned into a full blown freeway prior to our seeing any lights. We suspect the cop meant to say where the light once was, or is possibliy planned on going. Anyway after driving what seems like half way to Tecate, I clued in and through sheer blind chance managed to stumble across the Otay Mesa crossing, mostly through a vague notion that there was a truck crossing east of downtown, and by following 18 wheelers with California plates, (and a few judicous u-turns). Our other option was enroll the kids in school, wait for them to learn Spanish and get some directions home. Lucky we found Otay Mesa, although to be totally honest, the Mexican street sign installation and maintence department seems to work about as well as the dead animal at the side of the road removal system, so there you have it. Then to compound things, Highway 74 east of Temecula into Palm Desert was closed due to a washout, so more backtracking on the way home. It took a long time to get home that night, it seemed longer after my wife made the tactical error of giving the kids Krispy Kreme and Sprite in the back of the car to keep them happy. Slight hyper after that. Ole. I love Mexico. I think next year for our annual post Christmas trip we'll go to San Felipe on the other side of the Baja on the Sea of Cortez, somewhere we;'ve only been once before.

Took the ingrates and the lovely Mrs. Talent (she lurks) to Palm Springs for the holidays. Drove to Ensenada for a couple nights. See our Mexico adventures here.

Actually, there's going to be an onslaught of sarcasm and bad spelling regardless, it's just a matter of determining where it should be directed. And if easy assumes we're the worst kinda of fools, he'd be right.

Great prices and total comfort food, perfect for winter nights

awsome french inspired food and great ambiance. Open until midnight on Sundays

We just got back, and had a few really good meals. Ate at Mahi Mahi the first night. Seafood restaurant off the strip seemingly to cater mostly to locals. Started with a scallop cocktelle, then a reasonable ceasar salad, then had a giant piece of perfectly cooked black bass covered in crab and parmesan cheese. Really nicely done. Wife had deep fried shrimp breaded with coconut which was also excellent. We had originally tried to go to the restaurant on the toursist strip with the rotisserie chickens in the front window. We entered and stood around looking stupid and generally being ignored so we walked out. Too bad because the chickens looked awesome. Mesquite grilled, golden and juicy. Mahi Mahi is off the north end of the tourist strip two blocks west of the end of the road, up against the hill. The next day we got up and went to LaBuffadora. Rain was threatening, but we ventured anyways. Plan was to drive there, look around then have lunch at Gordos recommended above. Arrived, parked car and proceeded to the blowhole. Few drops of rain started to fall. Generally unimpressed with the blowhole, until swoosh, a giant column of water erupted. Wow! That was impressive. Proceeded to hang around a few more eruptions as the rain continued to intensify. I want one last look, walk over to the front of the hole. Woosh, I take a full blast square in the face. Family is lying on the ground laughing at me. I look like I've been hit with a water canon. Then the skies open. Suddenly we're all soaked, completely. Straggle up to the enclosed viewing area, very slowly as A) it's slippery as hell and B) You can't see a thing for all the water running down your face. Finally get into the shelter, look around, a kids missing. She's standing frozen twenty feet outside, abandoned and unable to proceed. Much screaming, for her to run in, which was inaudible over the torrents, then a discussion between my wife and I who had to go rescue her. I lost, back into the teeth. The whole family is drenched. Not just moist, just out of a pool soaked. Troop back to the car as the showers lessen to downpour from Noah and the ark levels. Car is currently parked in the middle of a river. Shit. Oh yeah, I'm already soaked, so it doesn't matter, stroll over, carefull not to lose my footing and be swept out to sea. Lunch was out of the question. Kids were a smurfish blue hue. So was I actually. Went back to the hotel, The Estrella Beach Resort. What a dump. Less said the better. Suffice to say, southern Californias trailer parks must have all been empty, because most of the denziens seemed to be letting their dogs swim in the pool at the resort that week. Changed into dry clothes and started navigating for downtown, fording rivers the whole way. Ate lunch at a Cafeteria on the opposite side of Tourist street from El Rey Sol. Again filled with locals. So good. Had Chille Reanolls (I can't spell, reallnos? reanlos? You know what I mean.) Wife had Carne tacos, kids had quesdillas, (for about the 8th consecutive meal). Meal was started with a superb chicken vegetable soup with rice on the side for adding to the soup. Perfect lunch for a cold wet day. No liquor, highlighted my alcoholism though. Dinner was at La Finca, down by the waterfront. Shared the Chateaubriand for two with the wife. Chimichurri on the side. Served atop a large bowl filled with mesquite, which while impressive, and a pretty neat fire hazard, particularly with two four year olds at the table, ensures only the first bite it actually rare, by the end the meat was well done. I also have my doubts that the chateaubrinad was actually made with fillet and not some artfully arranged piece of faux fillet shaped beef, but it was still tasty none the less. And cheap so, I can't really complain. Only disapointment was I asked to see the wine list. After my first three selections were unavailable did the waiter share the secret that they actually had nothing from the list in house, I should have known better when observing a sign that read "Cava" and had an arrow pointing upstairs.

Not that I'm the least bit savvy to to the ways of the world of those with money but, why would someone fly a cleaning person from Britian, and then rely on word of mouth from the cook for a butler? Seems backwards no? Although if I was to hire a cleaning person, the name Peachy would add you to my shortlist prior to the first interview.

Bananos, that's it. Thanks. I'll try it soon.

Anyone ever try the little storefront Latin-American joint on the westside of Pacific, just north of Drake? Kinda across the street from the Roundhouse? Walked by the other night with a friend that lived in the neighbourhood, asked him if he'd ever tried it, he said his in-laws had and didn't like it, so no. Pretty clear example of the dammage one disgruntled diner can have.

Yup, I have. And I like the McGriddle, only because it's the single weirdest foodstuff on the planet. If David Hawksworth did a brunch with pancakes with syrup baked in, he'd be hailed as a creative visionary genius. I'd thought that when I was in Japan last year and bought a bag of sweet/spicy dried whole baby crabs to be eaten like chips I'd found the weirdest foodstuff on the planet. McDonalds surpassed my expectations however, not with the addition of the gooey syrup inside, which admittedly is slightly strange, but the decision to stuff the pre-moistened flapjacks with savoury fillings. And people accuse us North Americans of having unsophisticated palates, I think that if you can appreciate the gaint mess of flavours and textures in a McGriddle, you're ready for most anything.

I'm currently trying to stain Rob Feenies sillouette into it with port prior to putting it on ebay.

As an ethnic Ukrainian, albeit a half dozen generations removed from the motherland, a set of Woodwards shopping bags was always known as "Ukrainian matched luggage" in my family. All my great-aunts and my great grandmother would have a meetup on dollar fouty-nine day. I pity the poor clerk that would have to tell that group that they were out of stock on a sale item. Special bonus quiz time; Who knows which Whistler ski run is named after a member of the Woodwards family? Prize; One used Nyquil cup and a 2003 edition of the Vanmag restaurant guide, slightly dog eared, some pages stuck together with what appears to be ice cream from Casa Gelato. If it helps I can probably get it autographed by Mr. Maw.

Quick point of etiquette for all the new users, we prefer our double entendres to be sexual in nature, and it's mandatory in a Maw thread. Punning is also acceptable. Strangely, we have no minimum acceptable standard for a puns, I've seen the pun equivilent of a McDonalds deli style sandwich laying about in a thread, and no one sweeps up the mess.

So, being a child of the seventies, the era where TV marketers perfected imprinting marketing images into impressionable young brains, I'm a sucker for a good ad campaign. Not that McDonalds is running a good campaign for their new deli sandwiches, but lets not allow that point of fact obscure my central thesis and slim defence for my actions. I just went and tried their new deli style toasted sandwiches. Here's the big shock, they were bad. Unbeleiveable, I know. Split a Ruben and Beef and Provlone. The ruben had a not bad rye bun, and was really the only part that wasn't completely forgetable. Thousand island, swiss(-ish) cheese and boiled soggy pastrami-like protein substitute round out the sandwich. No eveidence of the fresh coleslaw illustrated in the picture that induced me to order it. . Beef and provlone was just that, white roll, roast beef-ish substance, cheese, a few boiled green peppers and some acrid raw onion. Mmm! To be honest, while they weren't great, they weren't completely horrid. They were of a quality that if you were given them for lunch on a short haul domestic flight in economy, you'd think they're not too bad. I don't know if a mediocre airline sandwich is going to cure McDonalds market share woes however. The sad part is, I really didn't need to try the sandwiches to pronounce them bad, as anyone that knows me can attest, not being an expert in something doesn't deter me from pontificating. I was standing in line, willing my self to keep from fleeing. Fujiya is just down the road, I could really go for one of their bento lunches. Against my better instincts I held fast to my plan to sample the latest saviour to McDonalds share price. Maybe time to short them.

I didn't mean to single you out, it's just you're the restuaranteur at hand. Now lets hear about the unruly customer vs. The Pastriminator

Neil - With all due respect, aren't there shitty customers all the time? It sounds somewhat pretensious to hear a restauranteur berate the clientele for not spending enough. A couple scenarios spring to mind. Someone that is economically unable to afford a ceratain restaurant except once a year, and even then is hardpressed to find money for drinks, or a table that plain doesn't drink. Here's how as a business person I'd look at the sitaution of the bargin hunter customer. Rather than tying a table on a night when my average cheque is far higher than fifty bucks a couple, at least they're there on a night where every other seat in the room is spending the same. Yeah you might miss bottle or couple of drinks from that table, but at least they're close to the same average per head as everyone else. Worse would be the same uber-bargin-hunters tying the table on a busy Saturday, when you could otherwise have freespenders sitting at it.

Answering with a reasoned logical answer makes it difficult to be a smartass.

What's the thinking with the BC wine?

Just noticed you're staying at the Sotavento, that's where we stayed too. Fifty bucks, sad puppy dog eyes and a BS story about it being your second honeymoon (or your first if you're still yound enough to pull it off) will get you the sole bungalow on the property. Big room, worlds best patio on the edge of a cliff, complete with hammocks. The only downside is the room is open to the sea, and closed on three sides, so at night the waves crashing is amplified inside the giant drum you're sleeping in to the point where it can get kinda irritating. Sleeping pills + tequila should fix it though.