Varmint

I'm glad to see Ed Mitchell is representing North Carolina. His joint has been pretty much an unknown for years, but he's finally getting the recognition he deserves. He's a hell of a nice guy, too.

218. That's now 10 pounds without a speck of exercise. I just got back from a 40 minute walk, so let's see how that affects things. Time to make the kids' lunches, shower, take the 2 little ones to day care, and then to work. It's bagel day, so I'll have one of those for breakfast today. Indian food for lunch. Don't have a clue what'll be for dinner.

Oh, and I've still not resumed exercising yet. That's insane, but my cough is just about over. Call it an excuse, but I'm just going to start waking up at 5:00 AM again and go for a long power walk. Once the cough is gone, I'll add an aerobic element to it. Of course, that'll make me incredibly hungry!!!

I'll rationalize anything. Seriously, if I start depriving myself of the stuff I have always eaten, I'm doomed to fail. This week has been a bit harder than the previous weeks, but I'm hanging in there. As far as Mrs. V is concerned, I somehow managed to marry a picky eater. She wouldn't have liked all the olives in there, plus she isn't enamored with very spicy food. She can handle capers, however, so I add them to sauces when I want some semblance of an olive-like flavor. Can you move to NC and be my personal coach, Xanthippe?!

Dinner last night was a salad with grilled chicken, lots of veggies, a half piece of bread, 2 glasses of water, and half a piece of caramel cheesecake, split with Mrs. Varmint. Remember, I ordinarily would have had 2 beers and at least one full piece of cheesecake. That's how I'm rationalizing it. Breakfast was bananas and fresh raspberries from my sister-in-law's raspberry bush. Lunch was turkey on rye with mustard, a granny smith apple, and 3 leftover chocolate easter eggs (those nasty little ones). I had some fruit for a snack. For dinner, Mrs. Varmint was playing in the championship game in her soccer league, so I made a pasta dish that she'd never eat: it had about 20 whole cloves of garlic that I pan roasted in EVOO; about 20 picholine olives, sliced; half a julienned red bell pepper; half a red onion; 25 grape tomatoes from the farmers' market; a couple of anchovies; and some hot red pepper flakes. I had probably 3 ounces of dried pasta. I'm now craving something sweet, but I think I'll get over that craving. WEIGH-IN TOMORROW.

If you come all the way across the country, I'll be sure that you get at least 2 ribs!!!

Tom, I believe you have discussed your excitement with some restaurants beginning to realize the value of a true pastry chef, such as our own Steve Klc. Please share with us what you would like to see with desserts, their importance in a meal, and how vital is the role of a talented pastry chef. Thanks for participating.

Oh yeah!!! That goes double for me. I've had a feeling for some time that these other gals would be worthy partners in crime... Mrs. Varmint may just fit in. I'm the one who gets the cookware. Mrs. Varmint gets the power tools. Mrs. Varmint has never worn makeup. Mrs. Varmint wears no jewelry except her wedding ring and a Timex Ironman watch. Mrs. Varmint's dress of choice is gym shorts, t-shirt, Chuck Taylor hightops. When I first met Mrs. Varmint, I thought she was a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that). She thought I was a geek. She was right; I was wrong. I didn't marry no girly-girl!

Most current list of attendees: Hjshorter + 23 (actually, only +3) (DC area) ZebA + 1-1/2 (Raleigh) Marlene +1 (Toronto) Vengroff +1 (DC) Jaymes (Texas but Missouri by then) =Mark (NJ) maggiethecat (Chi-town) Holly Moore (Philly) KatieLoeb (Philly) Malawry (DC area) edemuth (??) (DC area) Dave the Cook (Hotlanta) Kpurvis (Charlotte) Dlc (Tennessee) Mummer (Philly) claire797 +2 (??) herbacidal (??) (Philly) Blondie (NY) Ditsydine (Raleigh) NewYorkTexan (??) (Austin, TX) Jason & Rachel Perlow (Jersey – in their RV) Timothycdavis (Charlotte) Weka +1 (Cary) Hungry Chris +1 (where are you from?) Jmcgrath (Massachussets) Hscottk is very interested (where are you located?) Tommy is "in", and is starting to really think about being really in now that he's learned that Raleigh isn't totally populated by extras from Deliverance. But he's still probably out. Nickn from Maine realized it's a thousand miles, but is reconsidering. Xanthippe is crazy enough (and easy enough to manipulate) that she's considering coming from the redwood highlands of California. Aurora is trying to round up the Heartland gang, if only they'd get over their Bourdain hangover. Bourdain has been conspicuously silent. S'kat had to drop out to go to some garlic festival. That's a bit weak, if you ask me.

Hell, we actually have a couple of direct flights to Europe, tommy boy!

Come on, Holly. Y'all just have to pay me $59.95 to join the Varmint's not an eGullet Diet Weight Loss System. You'll get access to this diary that reveals all my secrets.

This won't be just an everyday pig pickin', either, so what's the big deal about driving 500 miles and shelling out for a hotel for a couple of nights??? It actually sounds pretty damn crazy to me, but I'm just hosting the event! Anyhow, you will be welcome. The food should be pretty good, and I am truly going to brine an entire pig. Now has anyone ever done that before? We've got people coming from Texas, Toronto, Massachussets, Philly, Jersey, Atlanta, South Cackalacky, and maybe even from California and Maine.

My sister-in-law gave me (and about 20 others) a beautiful piece of red granite as a cheese board. She cut them all herself, but I don't know how, as it has a rough edge all around. It weighs a ton, but it's a great surface for the cheese.

I still have the bruise on my cheek from the last time I tried to do that!

Man, I visited the Nahunta Pork Outlet at lunch this summer, and I think we should arrange a field trip to visit this glorified trailer when y'all come for this. First of all, it's on the grounds of the NC Farmers Market, which has 2 restaurants and tons of fresh produce. More importantly is what you can buy. Need a pig's head? Give the nice lady $9.49, and you'll have your very own. Mario Batali would be so proud!! They have ears, tails, trotters, hocks, chittlin's, chittlin loaf, liver mush, and plenty of other goodies. Lard can be purchased in 25 gallon containers. Oh, they'll get you whole pigs for pig pickins with 2 days advance notice. They're only $1.09 a pound if it's at least an 80 pound pig (and that's with the head off, making it a special bargain). I'll probably get a 120 pounder. Yee haw!!!!

OK, OK, OK!!! Let's see. Yesterday seems so far away. It was not a good day, as I seemed to be tired and hungry all day long. I therefore lacked willpower, and my eating reflected that. I actually started to doze off at a red light yesterday morning before the person behind me was rude enough to wake me from my slumber. Anyhow, I did the smoothie thing again. Y'know, smoothies are one of those fads that came and went very, very quickly. There was a smoothie joint on every block, it seemed. Plus, they'd always add those wacked out powders to them, some of which were for energy, others for mental power, and others for libido. As if guys ever need that last one! But I digress. I had a great fresh strawberry and blueberry smoothie. A bit of vanilla yogurt and some lemon juice was all that I added. No rhino horn powder for this kid!! Lunch was a ham and tomato sandwich at home. I started to crave some chips, but all we had were Pringles. I had about 15 of those. I then had a granny smith apple. Who was Granny Smith, and why did she deserve to have an apple named after her? Later that afternoon, I had 2 of those little, teeny Hershey Special Dark bars that a secretary had put out in her candy jar. I hadn't done that in ages. When I got home, I was still hungry, Mrs. Varmint had left to run around on the soccer field, and there was leftover pizza. I had three slices. I then had some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream an hour later. Today has been a touch better. I had one slice of toast and a banana. The summer clerk that I took for lunch wanted seafood for lunch – fried seafood. Uh oh. I had some fried shrimp (damn, it was good), 1 hush puppy, and 5 or 6 fries. We then walked around the NC Farmers Market where the seafood restaurant is located. I had a sample of fresh peach and strawberry, both of which were very good. We also walked by to visit the Nahunta Pork Outlet, where you can buy a pig's head for $9.49 (just in the odd chance you were in the market for one). I hadn't bought a full hog in ages, so I priced one for my pig pickin'. Amazingly, the price for a cleaned pig, without the head (but with the trotters), is $1.09 a pound. That's cool. Tonight, I'll eat a salad. I'm full, plus we have a closing on the refinancing of our house. I can afford to eat lightly! There, is that enough, Maggie and Xanthippe???

I'm in agreement with Craig Camp that Monte Antico is a fine red to have as your daily "house" wine. We usually have a case or two of that lying around.

Unfortunately, that's something that you'll never truly know!!!

We'll eat a rib for you and s'kat, porkpa. You can come down later for a game and some Allen & Son barbecue!

I didn't have laab/larb last night, but I did eat at a Thai friend's house, and one of the dishes was this awesome green papaya and dried shrimp salad. But I digress. I learned that the correct pronunciation of laab/larb/larp is almost like the first syllable in labyrinth, but the short "a" is drawn out a bit. It's not "lawb" or "larb", more like laaab. Just in case you might be interested!

Umh, well, ah, can we talk about something else? First of all, I appreciate y'all's concerns. Nevertheless, please realize that this party is going to happen, no matter what. This is what I'm planning to do: Buy a pig, make the sauce, rent a cooker, buy some wood, make a few sides, and get a couple of kegs. As far as the cost is concerned, I haven't called for a single estimate of prices, as the price won't stop me. I'll worry about that later. Can it get out of hand? Sure, particularly if the weather looks bad and we need to rent a big tent. We could actually cram a shitload of people in the house, but that's less than ideal. However, I'm not planning on renting a bunch of chairs and tables. We'll ask people to bring those. Anyhow, I'm not about to solicit donations or pass the hat. I appreciate peoples' concerns, and if someone wants to help out with sides or chairs or even some "scratch", to use Mark's term, that would be appreciated, but not expected. Let's just leave it at that. I hate it when money becomes an issue. In my view, it's pretty damn amazing that folks are already booking flights and hotels to come to a crazy pig pickin'. We could easily have over a hundred people for this event. Yes, that's a big crowd, as I'm not going to limit it just to the eGullet crew. But that'll make it more fun – y'all can pick on the local red necks! By the way, we're trying to see if there's any way to have Southern Culture on the Skids play at a local club Friday night. Website They're a blast. I'd see if they could play at the pig pickin' itself, but that would really send the cost into the stratosphere! Plus, there may be some noise ordinances that would prohibit them from playing outside. Nevertheless, this is a part of southern culture that should not be missed!

Careful about those comments about kids, Timothy. I'll sick mine after you. For those of you who haven't been to Asheville, it's really a great destination. It has a great mix of the eclectic and the upscale. It's a beautiful town. Plus, the food scene is getting better every year. Thank you. Sincerely, The Greater Asheville Visitor's Bureau.

Let me repeat my mantra, Mark: "You can call me Jimmy, cuz I'll take what you gimme!" Remember, however, that although the pig is supposed to be the highlight of this show, I think the more variety we have will cover for any possible let-down on my pig cooking skills. Feel free to PM me with any specific questions. I assume you'll be here to start setting up on Thursday morning, right?

Based on the lack of posts on this thread of late, I think people have grown tired of a daily diary of my eating habits. Thus, consider this now the "Sportscenter" version of highlights. Breakfasts have been french toast (2 slices), 2 eggs with 1 piece of toast, and strawberries and bananas. Lunches have been chicken salad on a mixed green salad, a ham, Karaka & olive sandwich, and an apple. Dinners have been a bit more intriguing: tonight was a Thai feast at the house of some friends from Thailand. I don't know the actual names of all the dishes: a green papaya salad with dried shrimp; a red chicken curry; a crunchy noodle dish with chicken, pork and peppers; some really cool shrimp dish; asparagus; stuffed fried wontons; and a couple of glasses of white wine. Last night chicken roasted with garlic, lemon & thyme; green beans; corn on the cob; strawberry shortcake (very good homemade shortcakes). Saturday night was mixed green salad with toasted pine nuts, roasted beets, local goat cheese (Celebrity Dairy), cucumber, with a mint-balsamic vinaigrette; braised short ribs and some pan roasted wild salmon served with buttermilk mashed potatoes and yellow squash, tomato, and English pea saute; dessert was a strawberry sorbet served with a minted, not very sweet, creme anglaise-like sauce, all with 12 year old balsamico and blueberries. As decadent as this sounds, I lost a pound this weekend, as I didn't eat like a pig. Plus, I walked about 6 miles. I'm now going to eat strawberry shortcake, as I didn't have any dessert after the Thai feast. Until the next exciting episode . . .

Folks, I do want to keep everyone's expectations in check here before you start booking cross country flights. First, I haven't cooked a pig in 12 years, so unless I get help from others who do it regularly (but are still willing to accept some particular guidance from me), the results of the final product are not guaranteed. Granted, Mrs. Varmint does now understand that I may be brining the porker in the bath tub for a night (I might have to get the head taken off to be sure it fits). Second caveat: Fall is the perfect time for pig pickins, but the weather can be unpredictable. This will be a rain or shine event, and if I have to spend the money for a tent, so be it. However, we actually have had a hurricane or two go through here in October over the last 10 years. Thus, I'm probably not going to cook a pig in the middle of a hurricane. We'd just have to cook inside and get massively wasted. Third: Raleigh is a fairly typical "new South" city: It's a huge, expansive, glorified suburbia. It's not a high density town and public transportation and cabs are not great. You'll want to rent a car. We can get cabs to get people back to their hotels, and if they stay in one of the closer ones to my house (I do live in a beautiful double wide, as any upstander southerner does ), they could walk the 1.5 miles to the hotel. Or they could crash on the floor. By no means I am trying to put a damper on this event, but I want to operate under a full disclosure philosophy. I can arrange for meals in the area and other types of "field trips." I'll be happy to book tee times or spa ventures (only the finest red clay for your mud facial, ma'am). This will indeed be fun, but with the number of people coming, I want to make sure that all your questions are answered. Nuff said. Let's continue to plan this hootenanny. V.