Simon Majumdar

if only you didn't have to ruin what sounds like a great memory by getting married S

Simon, A spaghetti of chicken stock? Could you explain?? Was this like the el bulli spag made with stock set with agar rather than gelatin (to stop it melting when hot)? it was. He is, it transpired a great fan MVH seemed ( on the basis of a quick chat while he was washing some glasses ) like a decent chap and talked about all the different places he admired/had cooked in. An impressive CV. S

When a friend offered to cheer me up after a Friday hospital appointment by buying me dinner, I was none too pleased when she said it would be in the swamp that is otherwise known as Barnes. I used to live in Barnes and the only reason anyone remembers it is because Marc Bolan died there. However, given the state of most of the inhabitants of this vile area, it is a wonder they knew he was dead That being said, when she said the meal was at MVH ( Michael Von Hrushka ) of Birdcage fame. I was a lot more sanguine We met at Waterloo and headed there by train to Barnes Bridge ( just look on the map for the bit that says “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here” or has a big HAZCHEM sticker ) getting there for 8pm. We were ushered into their upstairs bar which in all honesty looks like a yard sale at the Byron’s house. Definingly louche but very comfortable. The delightful staff ( 20 yr old Ukrainian twins – I could not make that up if I was directing a porn film ) proffered up glasses of LP champagne for starters and then we went downstairs to the incongruously light and airy dining room. The set meal is a good value £29 for three courses, but that is the tip of the iceberg. I have never been anywhere in recent years where so many extra courses of such high quality were served. To say the food is eclectic is an understatement, but while in some places that mix is hideous, here it all seemed to hang together very well. We started with a cucumber and mint sherbet served in a test tube. Crap presentation but stupendous flavour. To follow , two spring rolls of parsnip with caramelised onions with a green chilli dip. Superb. Still no sign of the starters as we were offered a cappuccino of chick pea with a spiced yoghurt and coriander cress ( very young shoots ) one of the highlights of the meal for me. OK, so now to the starters. No chance fat boy!! This time we had one of the most interesting dishes I have tasted in years. A spaghetti of chicken stock with a chicken veloute. Truly amazing Finally we got to our starters. My friend had the assiette of seafood. An incredible mix of smoked seafood soup, crab tianne with gravadlax and a sweet wasabi. I had Boudin with onion jam, garlic leaves, truffle on brioche and tapenade. These were served with excellently made but out of place breads of South Indian Idli and curry puffs, but somehow they worked. Between the starters and main courses an interesting if not wholly successful dish of Harrissa sorbet with red cabbage gazpacho was served which I did not think worked well. The soup was much more crude than that we tasted at the Fat Duck a couple of weeks ago Main courses were probably the most standard part of the meal. My friend had a very tasty indeed, neck end of lamb with mustard mash and I had an excellent duck confit with german white asparagus and mushroom gnocchi. Pre – desserts were a superb pineapple semi-freddo and a dried pineapple followed by a rhubarb crème brulee and a selection of chocolate desserts ( including a superb chocolate filo spring roll ) To drink we had the champagne, two glasses each of Brundlmayor Gruner and a bottle of Gigondas Bill for two was £120 inc service I often come out of restaurants saying “ that was criminal” The only thing criminal about MVH is that there were only 8 people in there on a Friday night Go there before they go bust. You wont get cooking like this anywhere else in London at this price 8/10

would you 2 put the odd smiley in, as some may feel you genuinely have a problem with each other unless you have had a spat , then carry on, don't mind me can I just make it clear that Andy is a lovely man, by far the best moderator on the site and one of the few sane people here. I don't agree with his ever so slightly crawly bum lick apporach to the men/women in checky pants, but I will defend to my last breath his right to be an asshole. It is just Bourdain I have a real problem with ( OK b'dog ) S

His name is Simon and he lives in Lonon. I now declare it open season S

The chef's table at Mela is very good Seriously, I will PM you S

sorry just wanted to highlight this S

Out of the mouths of babes and TV personalities I have to admit once that a chef did a very good deed for me They made a decent meal, served it properly, didn't charge me my right testicle for it and stayed in the kitchen My hero S

kate That is great and you are certainly not the type of chef my antagonism is aimed at. Nor indeed are those who 'sell their soul" to make some cash. Hell we all have to do that My real beef is with the chefs who do the latter but portray themselves as the former. The Chef's table in one indication of this If it is such a selfless act on the part of the chef. if it is just to show his muse to an audince of appreciating folk, then why charge so bloody much? perhaps, in Tony's world Chef's tables are like he describes in the same way the Queen thinks that the whole world smells of paint as there are always lackeys 10 mins ahead of her whitewashing every wall she is likely to see. I suspect, as C/W Spencer says, Tony will never eat a normal meal again, unless it is at home. Such is the badge of the tribe who attain ( if not seek out ) fame. S Well Simon now, I think Tony has been more than innundated with "simple" food on his tours of "duty". I mean tell me that Vietnamese family that he and Lejeunie just happened to stumble upon were ready for that pair to show up. I'm just referencing chefs tables. What with the sound man, the camera man, the food stylist, Tony's multiple PA's and the person who carries all his money. I am sure it was a down home experience S

Bloody hell, were you at Andy's wedding night as well? S

kate That is great and you are certainly not the type of chef my antagonism is aimed at. Nor indeed are those who 'sell their soul" to make some cash. Hell we all have to do that My real beef is with the chefs who do the latter but portray themselves as the former. The Chef's table in one indication of this If it is such a selfless act on the part of the chef. if it is just to show his muse to an audince of appreciating folk, then why charge so bloody much? perhaps, in Tony's world Chef's tables are like he describes in the same way the Queen thinks that the whole world smells of paint as there are always lackeys 10 mins ahead of her whitewashing every wall she is likely to see. I suspect, as C/W Spencer says, Tony will never eat a normal meal again, unless it is at home. Such is the badge of the tribe who attain ( if not seek out ) fame. S

Tony, when I worked in a bookshop, a guy came in and asked for Dante in french. when I gave him the volumes he said " that's great, one of the reaosns I took french classes was to read this in the original" That's how I feel about you. Well intentioned but misguided You, quite rightly, defend your fellow chefs, and so you should but, how many times have you been on the knob end of a bad meal recently? Precious few I'll warrant. can you genuinely put your hand on your heart and say that a Chef's table is some sort of altruistic exercise to give people the insight into the inner workings of the kitchen? bollocks. it is to prise a few extra shekels out of some mug punter. Bottom line. Sure they might throw in a few extra plates of foam and send the sous over a couple of times to say say " I have some lovely Salmon" but in the end it is a scam. If you are going to get a decent meal in a restaurant, get it out in the dining room at a fair price without someone making you think they are doing you a favour or ripping you off You ask why I bother to eat out anymore. At the high end I don't so much less and less. Why? Because the only time I want some one in white probing my anus is when I am at my proctologists But , just when I think I am never going to have a decent meal again, someone goes and suprises me with a half decent experience and I am sucked back in as I was at RHR recently Thank god for Fergus Henderson or the next time we meet it would have to be at an In & Out S

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me I call it an apt response to a thinly veiled attack Others can call it what they want S

and again, in English. S

Just checked in the dictionary under Lynes Means: someone who does not realise that being a good chef and being a good person are not alway the same thing

Name one Would it be plausible to suggest that Not so working class hero Bourdain might get different treatment from the rest of us who are just viewed, by MANY chefs as ripe anus cheeks ready for the parting? S

A secret glimpse into Andy's wedding night

I think you are right John, if it was a case of seeing the kitchen in action, it could be fun. I suspect from most settings though you are away from the action And, as you and FG say, if the reason is a) b) c) you and your guests don't give a damn Any real chef would have been stalked by Lynes to work a stage by now anyway S

Does that mean when you offered to "gnaw on my bone" the other night, you meant something different?

Agreed The only reasons one might want to sit in the kitchen are a) to chef fuck b) because you might get a few freebies thrown in If the chef spends a considerable time poncing around looking after the chef's table, I would suspect that the other folk in the restaurant might have good reason to complain The notion of the C'sT is derived from the rise of the celebrity chef. Now no longer an artisan producing a good product for an appreciative audience, the chef has become the star rather than the food. S

That was RJ Stanley's opened by the man who ran Alfred's which ironically has now been turned into a sausage and mash cafe RSJ is considered to have one of the best list of wines from the Loire in the city. The food is pretty decent too S

Well done that man Over to you LML S

Nope it is not The Capital, but here's a clue. It's in A capital S

Tas - far end of The Cut RSJ on Coin St ( great wine list ) Baltic Ma I Terra - gambia St Fire Station - not sure how good it is anymore The Archduke S