Mayhaw Man

We should start a club. Like a Miata club, only nerdier.

I am going this way in my kitchen. These are sitting in crates in the bombed out hulk that I call a kitchen. Kenmore Elite Fridge Kenmore Elite Freezer I am doing this for an assortment of reasons, budgeting and storage being the two main considerations. I hate side by sides, the upper lower units seemed damned inconvenient to me (I know that some of you love the drawer freezer, but it doesn't hold enough in most units and they become a mess, storage wise). Anyway, Consumer Reports loved these, they have great warranties, and I have always had good luck with Sears appliances. So there. That's what I'm doing.

Ace Reporter Kathleen "Scoop" Purvis is way ahead of the pack on this hot story. I should have known.

To capture some great publicity, Brawley's in Charlotte sold a Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout this AM at 7:30. That might be the first big beer sold in the state under the new law. ← The story there is really about the guy who bought it. He's the one that needs to be interviewed.

You barely beat the deadline! That puts us over 100, I believe. There is room for more, y'all. Plenty of room. For the out of town guests or anyone who wants to help cook, we'll be having a "staff meal" at my house Saturday evening. Looks like fried chicken will be the main course. Lots of it! We'll have some biscuits, cucumbers and tomatoes, and whatever else we can rustle up while staying out of Dave's and Brooks' way. We can always use the two old burners in the loft, too. I'm sure Brooks wants some okra and tomatoes. I can do a couple of trays of ultra-simple peach cobbler, if I get some prep help. All in all, I think we'll have a touch of fun. ← I'll bring the okra, unless yours is just great . You should probably try to find a tomato or twenty, as ours have gone to hell. It'll be October before we see any more local ones. I'm bringing a few shrimp, some oysters, and maybe some crabs if they look good. I'm quite sure that we can find something to do with them.

That' an unfair stereotype. I don't have any relatives in my family who are married to each other (or even dating, for that matter). At least not any that are closer than 2nd cousins, and that doesn't count.

I was under the impression that this was a family type event. Perhaps I was misinformed. Even better.

Try to imagine my personal joy. Try to imagine Dave's sense of impending doom.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is our General Counsel and General Comedian, Dean "Varmint" McCord. He'll be appearing here at the Yuck Room for the rest of this week.

Who will be the winner of the Super Bowl this year and by how many points? Do you think that Google will continue to trade at this crazy price? Chocolate or Vanilla? What's the best way to remove old varnish from wood floors? And finally, what is the meaning of life? Thanks in advance for your help.

Susan, If you want a fun project, why not make your own? There was an article, by a guy named Steve Fried who was the brewer at McGuire's in Pensacola, about the whole process. It appeared in the September/October 97 issue of the New Brewer I believe that a call to the Association of Brewers might get you a copy if you are interested. I watched Steve do the process a couple of times (we installed the brewery for them and actually used to supply them with beer for a while) and it's pretty interesting.

Finally, a reason to make a comment on this endless thread. Jon, I think that's what I find appealing about this show, and probably Bourdain in general. The producers of this show, and certainly Bourdain, don't seem to be catering to the lowest common denominator. If you get it, I suspect that they are pleased that it is being enjoyed in the way that they are offering it, and if you don't get it, well, I imagine they are just as pleased. It's cable, after all. It's a small audience show and if they reduce their audience by 25% because that percentage just doesn't like it, or doesn't get it, or both, I suspect that they feel like they are hitting their mark. The other thing is this-I keep thinking that if someone gave me some money, a couple of folks with cameras and microphones, and then told me to go to the airport and bring back an hour's worth of amusement from some far flung locale that I would come up with something like this. Clearly the guy is pretty much doing what he wants to on these shows without much oversight from the Network. Now, there may be a huge difference in what he films and what gets on (I know for a fact that he filmed in a number of Jersey locales other than the ones that were shown), and that may have something to do with the network, but I believe that he is filming what he wants to film and more or less saying what he wants to say. I don't know who puts together the final piece, but I am guessing that it has more to do with Bourdain than the network. Anyway, I like it. It beats 95% of the stuff on TV right now (because 6 Feet Under is a maudlin piece of crap this season and The Wire is a year away) and I'll watch it again-especially next week, as Viet Nam is on my short list of desired destinations (just behind Madagascar- Food is twenty times better in VN, but I mean, well, Madagascar looks like another planet). It's not perfect, but it's pretty good. And, with time, could be great. Incidentally, last night's reference tying together the killing of lobsters and the dismembering of Paris Hilton was pretty hysterical. The list of groups that he potentially angered in two minutes was pretty long.

It's here, in the archives of Recipe Gullet I make no claims that this is "authentic", only that it is damn good.

Western NC BBQ Sauce Replica Serves 20 as Main Dish. First of all, I am anything but an expert on NC BBQ. What I did was to read a ton of recipes that were all supposedly "authentic" and then combine them in the way that made the most sense to me. Whatever this stuff is, it's really good. It should be added, to taste, to pulled pork or breakfast cereal, as close to serving time as possible. 1 stick of butter 1 large onion, chopped 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 c white wine vinegar 1 tsp cinnamon 2/3 c brown sugar 1 T dry mustard 1 tsp chili powder 2/3 c ketchup 1 c water salt and pepper Melt butter in a saucepan; add the chopped onion, and minced garlic, until they just begin to brown. Add white wine vinegar, cinnamon, dry mustard, chili powder, brown sugar and ketchup. Stir, then add water and blend. Bring to a boil, lower heat to simmer, add salt and pepper to taste, and simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes. Keywords: Pork, Main Dish, Easy ( RG1378 )

Western NC BBQ Sauce Replica Serves 20 as Main Dish. First of all, I am anything but an expert on NC BBQ. What I did was to read a ton of recipes that were all supposedly "authentic" and then combine them in the way that made the most sense to me. Whatever this stuff is, it's really good. It should be added, to taste, to pulled pork or breakfast cereal, as close to serving time as possible. 1 stick of butter 1 large onion, chopped 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 c white wine vinegar 1 tsp cinnamon 2/3 c brown sugar 1 T dry mustard 1 tsp chili powder 2/3 c ketchup 1 c water salt and pepper Melt butter in a saucepan; add the chopped onion, and minced garlic, until they just begin to brown. Add white wine vinegar, cinnamon, dry mustard, chili powder, brown sugar and ketchup. Stir, then add water and blend. Bring to a boil, lower heat to simmer, add salt and pepper to taste, and simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes. Keywords: Pork, Main Dish, Easy ( RG1378 )

OK, so today I had some time to cook a big old butt. And I did. All 10.5 lbs of it. On the weber, at roughly 250, until it was about 180 or so. It took the bigger part of the day, but I wasn't really timing it. We hit 95F today and it rained twice. I don't time too good when I'm working outside in the giant bamboo steamer that is South Louisiana in August. I worked on my porches all day, as I am in the middle of the "Big Renovation" (news to follow, tonight, on the thread that I started centuries ago, Mayhaw Man gets mad and the Result will be a new kitchen). Anyway, some of you reading this may be aware of my bizarre horror/fascination concerning spending hours (or days) making the best meat that you can possibly make-buying just the right pork, slaving over it for hours, carefully watching the temperatures, staying up all night, etc and then taking this near perfect meat, chopping it to unrecognizable bits, and then, to add insult to injury, taking what is basically vinegar and sugar and pouring it all over this, just moments before, perfectly fine pork. Clearly, with so many people in love with it, there must be something to it. Still though, I have a hard time with it. Seems like it should be against the law or something. Anyway, overtaken by the heat and a need to acclimate myself to this supposed delicacy before I head into the heart of the beast.. So, by reading a gillion posts on eGullet, a couple of BBQ forums, and then doing some recipe comparing online, I came up with a sauce that seemed pretty representative of what I understand this stuff to be. And then I made the sauce. I actually followed, mostly, some instructions. As for the meat, it was perfect. It had a nice spicy/slightly sweet rub coating it and it was smoked with a combination of hardwood charcoal and pecan wood. I have a might fine supply of pecan, especially with all of the rain recently-I just pick it up out of the yard. It was gorgeous. Even Susan would have been proud of me. Like I said, I pulled my butt at 180F (I love saying that, it's that same thrill that I used to get telling fart jokes in third grade-men never grow up). I let it rest for an hour. Then, I chopped off about a third of it and pulled the bone. The meat was, i a word, as good as it gets. I was having second thoughts about this whole project and beginning to question my motives, the meaning of life, and other stuff that I should spend less time thinking about. But, as the fun part was coming up, I forged ahead. I took two huge carbon steel cleavers that are 50 years old if they are a day and whacked it up, two handed and with much style and ceremony, just like some white boy-wannabe Ed Mitchell (I think that I may have gotten closer to the heart of the matter by doing this-it's really, really fun to do). It looked pretty realistic and I think that it would have passed Pit Master Ed's test. Well, at that point, I started ladling on the sauce, a little at a time until it looked about right. Not soupy, but not dry. Did I mention that the meat was already just about perfect. I am pretty sure that at this point anything that I was doing, no matter how right, was only making the pork different, not better. Anyway, I toasted up three buns on my griddle (read the new post in the kitchen thread Sunday, you'll be able to see the griddle-it's my current heat source for all indoor cooking), toasted them nicely, and added a good dollop of meat (that in itself is part of the problem-meat, especially good meat, does not deserve to ever see a spoon in it's noble trek to your belly) and some very nicely done fresh coleslaw that I made at the last minute so that it would be extra crunchy at the time of consumption (very few things are worse than soggy slaw). So anyway, I sat down to watch the end of a stupendously good movie that I had never heard of until today, Open Range and to try out these monuments to The Tarheel State. Can I tell you they were good? Can I tell you that they were just about the best thing that I have eaten in a year? Right now, were I not here on this newly revamped Rated PG website, I would be using some language that would make a sailor blush. That, my friends, was some seriously good eating. I killed all three sandwiches and then, just for good measure, made another and watched it while Kevin Costner made up his mind about being in love with Annette Benning (it's not like that took alot of thought). They were great. This may be pretty bold talk, but I would not have been scared to have that in some kind of North Carolina BBQ Throwdown. It was really good. So now, I have the rest of the butt, a quart of really, really great sauce, and a very. very full stomach. I got some work done on the house, Kevin Costner got a stunningly beautiful woman, and I ate some fabulous bbq tonight. All is right with the world. Now, over to cry my heart out on the, now year old, kitchen thread.

I have twenty four lovely quarts of pickles -that's 16 lbs. of okra, plus garlic, sliced ginger, dill, some pickling salt, garlic, serrano peppers, tabasco peppers,vinegar, (I used regular white vinegar in the hot ones and Steen's Cane Vinegar in the sweet ones) and a few baby carrots just to make the jars look colorful. I also ended up with 4 jars of what will probably be hot as hell pickled pole beans, as I have them coming out of my ears (reminder to self, don't plant so many beans). I used up the rest of my peppers and garlic in them and they might be a tad on the nuclear side. Anyway, if you are coming to Varmint's Fabulous Pig Pickin and you are particularly nice to me, I might grace you with a jar. Sign up now. Times a wastin.

And, as the first Okra shot across the bow, I am pickling 15 lbs. of gorgeous, just picked, finger sized okra. Some hot, some not. It should be just getting right in about a month. Bloody mary fans should rejoice. You have never had a proper Bloody Mary until you have had one with hot, spicy okra in it.

Just for the record, I am making 24 quart jars of pickled okra today. Half of it hot, half of it sweet. I went to the farmers market this morning and there was a guy with a ton of finger sized okra. I have tons of things to do, but this seems to be more important at the moment. There will be no photos this time, as the digital camera is somewhere South of Eagle Pass, TX with the wife and boys on a drive around the bordere. Me? I'm stuck at home pickling okra in a very quiet house. You wanna know what bliss is? This is it.

We can only continue to work together to make the world a better place and hope that someday... What a wonderful world it would be.

I actually have a picture of this one. It's on my phone. I will have to download it when I get home. There is a local seafood place, not far from my house (I live pretty much right on the Gulf) that recently posted this on the big giant chalkboard in front of the place: Big Fat Females-$12 per dozen I bought some. I can attest to the quality of the crabs being vended.

There will be world peace before there is agreement about Okra, the most controversial of all vegetables.

It's been a while and we have lots of folks around, soooo, it's time to bring it up again. America's most controversial topic. Okra? A simple yes or no will do.

What kind of people do you vacation with? Up to now, your loved ones seemed to be pretty ok. But now, well, I think that I would probably just pack up my elaborate kitchen gear and head back to the house. Of course, I would pass by and pick up some of that delicious okra.

I don't think that they were homemade, but I could be completely wrong. As a veteran of about a million of these events I can safely say that nine out of ten times these days (no matter the age of the organizers, either) those little biscuits come from one of a couple of commercial sources. If they were square, I would almost bet on it.