Competition 27: Fantasy Foodblog

[maggiethecat]

Forget football. I understand that the Superbowl will be held sometime soon, and those Fantasy Footballl Leagues might go on hiatus -- at least until you've scraped the the nacho cheese off the remote. Between now and the Ice Dancing competition, Gullet Literary Smackdown XXVII gives you the opportunity to channel the daily eating habits of someone dead or fictional. and give him or her the opportunity to ct about chow. What didn't George Washington eat at Valley Forge? Maybe Farmer McGregor would like to expound on sustainable agriculture and rabbit cuisine. Dr. Jekyll and Mr.. Hyde. Henry the VIII, Rossini, Miss Marple, Beowulf: they all had to eat!

This is a set piece, not an interactive blog. When a reader wants to reply, you write it for him. Say Thomas Jefferson is bragging about his rice crop -- you post the snotty reply from Alexander Hamilton reminding him that he brought the stuff into the country illegally. The deadline is March 31st, and I'll be awarding two cookbooks to the First Prize Winner,one apiece to Second and Third.

[LindaK]

This is a set piece, not an interactive blog. When a reader wants to reply, you write it for him. 

I'm confused. Until I read this I thought I understood. Can you explain again?

[maggiethecat]

This is a set piece, not an interactive blog. When a reader wants to reply, you write it for him. 

I'm confused. Until I read this I thought I understood. Can you explain again?

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Sorry for the confusion, Linda. I just wanted folks to know that this won't function like our stellar blog series from real live eGullet members, where you'd post your Marilyn Monroe breakfast menu (coffee, Valium) and wait for eGulls to chime in on your thread. You get to reply as Joe DiMaggio, recommending bacon and eggs.

[sazji]

So there will be no actual replies from others at all, this is what I'm understanding. Correct?

Edited January 27, 2006 by sazji (log)

[maggiethecat]

So there will be no actual replies from others at all, this is what I'm understanding. Correct?

←

Right -- no replies from eGullet members, excepting yourself writing as a contemporary of your blogger, or another character from a work of fiction.

Hamlet: I planned to make a big batch of buttercookies this afternoon, only to find that I was almost out of flour. Swung by my buddy Laertes's crib and he lent me five flagons of flour. I'm off to fire up the oven.

Polonius: Sweet Prince, you really need to be better organized. Haven't I told you time and time again to neither a borrower nor a lender be? Anyway, are you using currants?

You can do much, much better, but that's the general idea.

[Genny]

Dead or fictional? Not alive as in Paris, "I'll have a pine float for lunch." right?

[maggiethecat]

You got it , Genny. Dead or fictional.

[Carrot Top]

Can the dead and the fictional mingle? As in. . .Ghandi and Huckleberry Finn?

And can the fictional include characters from television (such as Mr. Ed the Talking Horse) or only print sources?

And I also wonder, Maggie, if time-travel is allowed among the dead. . .as in allowing Escoffier to respond to Caesar?

[maggiethecat]

Can the dead and the fictional mingle? As in. . .Ghandi and Huckleberry Finn?

And can the fictional include characters from television (such as Mr. Ed the Talking Horse) or only print sources?

And I also wonder, Maggie, if time-travel is allowed among the dead. . .as in allowing Escoffier to respond to Caesar?

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All interesting ideas, CT, and may be useful for a different Smackdown. But for this one, no TV, no time travel and no mingling of the fictional and the dead.

[Carrot Top]

Well, okay then. Maggie. I'll try to keep my eras of time in some sort of boxed-in order. I find it difficult in real life, too.

Next question: I have an idea but have been waiting for someone else to post a story first, so that I won't be the first one to have to jump into the pool.

But as time goes by, nobody else has posted their stories, so maybe they are waiting for the same thing to happen.

I am lazy, very lazy. Lazy Libra.

But it came to mind that it might dissolve a bit of my laziness if I were able to post this "fantasy foodblog" as if it *were* more similar to posting an actual foodblog - i.e. in posts that followed each other along the trail of the "week" or whatever in time day by day food experience by food experience in the life of my fantasy character, rather than trying to write the entire thing out as a solid piece of work then posting it as a whole.

Would that be amenable to you?

[maggiethecat]

But it came to mind that it might dissolve a bit of my laziness if I were able to post this "fantasy foodblog" as if it *were* more similar to posting an actual foodblog - i.e. in posts that followed each other along the trail of the "week" or whatever in time day by day food experience by food experience in the life of my fantasy character, rather than trying to write the entire thing out as a solid piece of work then posting it as a whole.

Would that be amenable to you?

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Alas, no. I agree that it might be easier that way, but this is all about presenting a finished work -- I'm sure you can rise to the challenge!

And please, don't hesitate to be first to post.

[andiesenji]

Samuel L. Clemens, AKA Mark Twain:

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mrs. Warfield for the great honor of inviting me to address this impressive gathering in this august city of Annapolis. I would also like to thank Bessie, the cook, who, I have been led to believe, produced the exceptional bill of fare set before me at luncheon not two hours ago. I have consumed dishes all over the world but the crab cakes I tasted today were a glorious fate for the denizens of the Chesapeake and would not be out of place on the table of the Tzar. The pie made from lemons, that sour and bitter fruit, was of such sweetness, with its cloud-like topping, as to make the very angels regret not being able to taste it. What secrets must abound in that kitchen, what mysteries of flavor and mixing are hidden there. Were I but a fly upon the wall in that place to learn them.

Now I have never claimed to know any more about cooking than I know about farming, and that is precious little. I have essayed a time or two to prepare a pot of coffee, but with results less than stellar, I decided to leave it to those who know which end of the pot goes up. Suffice it to say that I do know how to enjoy food and hope that all of you had as delightful a luncheon as did I.

Alexander Belford:

Am I to understand, Mr. Clemens, that you are to write a book of cookery? What experience have you had that encourages you to take this course. I have not heard that you know anything of the art of the kitchen. Will you produce these receipts from your own imagination or will they be the work of others. And who will publish this text of a heretofore unknown talent?

(This is, I know, quite obscure. Everyone has heard of Mark Twain and just about everyone has read one or more of his books. However not everyone knows the story of how Alexander Belford, a book publisher in Canada, printed thousands of unauthorized copies of every one of Mark Twain’s books, so that he derived little or no profit for the early ones. Belford bribed pressmen, copywriters, and even postal employees, to get copies, sometimes incomplete, lacking illustrations, and distributed them cheaply. When sued in court several times, each time he managed to get away with it, often with speculation that he had bribed the court. Of course now Mark Twain is one of the most famous American writers and few know that Alexander Belford even existed.)

Edited March 6, 2006 by andiesenji (log)

[maggiethecat]

Just a couple of weeks left in the current Smackdown. Thanks to Andie for her submission, and a gentle reminder to all you other Fantasy Foodbloggers -- post 'em here.

[maggiethecat]

I just know that the upcoming weekend will find you guys doing the final polish on your blogs. I'll extend the deadline to midnight, April 2nd.