castaway

[pariah_kerry]

the proverbial dilemna:  you are stuck on that damn island.  Here are your choices:

doing yoga with Sting, naked, at sunup every morning

OR

daily attack of fireants

coexistence with the big E

OR

coexistence with hardcore, right wing, Christian Fundamentalist (venom chugging and Appalachian Clog-dancing included)

two authors you admire

OR

two songwriters/musicians you admire

continual bombardment of lite rock (Candle In the Wind, Uptown Girl, The Pina Colada Song, Sailing, the Theme from Arthur, Brandy, Fernando)

OR

continual bombardment of hair farmer bands' power ballads (fuck if I know any)

OR

continual bombardment of C&W (contemporary, no easy outs with Patsy Cline or Johnny Cash)

**SLITTING YOUR THROAT AND RUPTURING YOUR EARDRUMS NOT AN OPTION**

[bourdain]

You scare me!

You seem to have spent an awful lot of time designing--with astoundingly precise craftsmanship--a perfect vision of my personal hell. To choose between any of your options is to choose between death by bleeding rectal fistula or death by flesh eating fungus. The play list for Death By Lite FM ALONE was enough to make my hands tremble with fear. Brandy!! That Pina Colada song...Jesus! They should send you off to Gitmo to interrogate those Taliban types--you'd have them selling out their Moms within an hour! Awww..Now I've got that damn pina colada thing stuck in myfucking head!! Oh God...Make it stoppp!

[Andy Lynes]

"If you like pina coladas, and gettin' caught in the rain....." come on everyone, sing along (click here)

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.