TDG: Rabbi Ribeye: Schmaltz & Pornography

[KatieLoeb]

Happy Birthday Rabbi! Go treat yourself to some schmaltz...

[Mayhaw Man]

Have a habbi, Rabbi!

I made a batch of chicken spaghetti (for 50) the other night. All vegetable matter was sauteed in schmalz. It was delicious. Looking forward to more reading.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Rabbi, on this most awe-spicious occasion ...

Behold, I bring you good tidings of Southern Comfort and Almond Joy ..

and just a bit of non-haiku birthday poetry ...

Another birthday?

be of good cheer!

Drop that schmaltz

live one more year!

(optional last line? Burma Shave..)

[Rabbi Ribeye]

You guys are such a hunka-hunka burnin' nachas! Thanks for your kind birthday wishes. You have become such a wonderful bunch of new friends!

Just got back yesterday evening from Ann Arbor, visiting with Joey, Jess and baby Sim (my sweet Shimon'del, named after my late father). Many delights including things culinary:

Joey made a wicked gravlax, binding the curing slurry with cognac, smooth like Shimon'del tiny round tush. For Shabbos lunch he made a nonpareil, however bowel-irritating, cholent. You're gonna hafta take my word for this, but meatless for a vegan friend, and you did not miss the flanken at all. I contributed my (actually, Rebbetzin Silver's) jakoi for the top. You'll hafta read my forthcoming epistle on cholent for the details.

Saturday evening we took respite from Jewish cuisine. I made glazed red cabbage and fuji apples, a sweet potato puree with crisped onions and candied pecan bits, a most delicate piece of grilled sea bass and a simple tomato-vidalia-basil salad drizzled with balsamic.

Ate twice at Zingerman's. Those of you who know the place will agree that it is indescribably, closest to a smaller version of Zabar's, but college-town funky and philosophically akin to early Ben and Jerry's. The balabos, Ari Weinzweig, a fellow Chicagoan and complete mensch, has written a great book on choosing and working with finer ingredients -- worth the investment. AND, he is an eGullet reader!

Enough self-indulgence and sanctimony. Back to the humility of folding the wash.

A freilachen, lichtigen Chanukah to everyone!

- Kugelman

[elivesay]

When my ex and I lived in Knoxville, he was the violinist for a very well-received klezmer band called the "Tennessee Schmaltz." We moved back to NY in 1999, but last I heard, they're still playing down there.

[Suzanne F]

Anybody who needs a translation of the good Rabbi's words (just the Yiddish), say so and those of us who can, will.

[Al_Dente]

Funny, as I clicked on this thread after last having seen the Rabbi's colorful and vibrant writing, I was wondering if I'd ever understand everything he said. I have to admit I got all farblondzhet. Earlier I considered cutting and pasting his text and sending it off to a good Jewish friend of mine for translation (I'm the sandak of her twin boys-- ask me about the "doubleheader" bris someday, oy vey). But now, since you offer... I'd love a translation.

Specifically (pronunciations would be good too):

nachas

cholent

flanken

jakoi

balabos

freilachen

lichtigen

Also, what is the deal with Rebbe/Rebbetzin? They seem like forms of Rabbi, but I'm not sure.

Sorry, don't mean to be a nudnick.

[KatieLoeb]

The Rebbetzen is the Rabbi's Wife. A former next door neighbor of mine was a female rabbi. She said the running joke amongst her and her other female collegues at school was:

If the Rabbi's wife is the Rebbetzen, what do you call the (female) Rabbi's HUSBAND?

ANSWER:

"Doctor, if she's lucky!"

[Al_Dente]

The Rebbetzen is the Rabbi's Wife. A former next door neighbor of mine was a female rabbi. She said the running joke amongst her and her other female collegues at school was:

If the Rabbi's wife is the Rebbetzen, what do you call the (female) Rabbi's HUSBAND?

ANSWER:

"Doctor, if she's lucky!"

Thanks for the info. Very helpful.

Oh yeah, and what is/are "gribenes"? And how is it pronounced?

[Rabbi Ribeye]

Sorry for any confusion. I'd tell the longer (zzzzzz) story, but suffice to say that I typically revert to waxing romantic with Yiddishisms when I feel particularly comfortable -- and talking with nice, appreciative people about the cuisine that I love is about as comfortable as I get. To the point:

nachas = NAH-khes = pride (especially the type you get from grandchildren)

cholent = CHO-l'nt = (you'll just have to wait for my forthcoming column!)

flanken = FLAHN-kin = short ribs

jakoi = JAH-koy = (kin to cholent, you'll just have to wait for my forthcoming column)

balabos = bal-a-BUS = master of the house, major domo

freilachen = FRAY-lakh'n = happy

lichtigen = LIKH-ti-gehn = radiant

[Al_Dente]

Sorry for any confusion.

No problem whatsoever. I only wish I was more knowledgeable. I could go for some flanken right about now.

I'm more freilachen now that I understand.

But what about the gribenes?

Edited December 18, 2003 by Al_Dente (log)

[Varmint]

Al, I believe the gribenes are the pieces of fried skin left over when making the schmaltz.

[bloviatrix]

balabos = bal-a-BUS = master of the house, major domo

The good Rabbi would like to have you believe, that the balabos is the master of the house, when we all the know that it is the balabosta, his wife, who truly rules the roost.

[Al_Dente]

Al, I believe the gribenes are the pieces of fried skin left over when making the schmaltz.

I figured, but wasn't sure if it included the fried onions and the all important question as to how crispy those fried pieces are ideally.

[Al_Dente]

balabos = bal-a-BUS = master of the house, major domo

The good Rabbi would like to have you believe, that the balabos is the master of the house, when we all the know that it is the balabosta, his wife, who truly rules the roost.

And this you think I don't know?

[KatieLoeb]

But what about the gribenes?

Actually, I've always wondered about the pronunciation of this as well.

Is it GREE-bins or GRIB-ness like Crib-ness?

Some help with this quandry would be nice.

[KatieLoeb]

With written permission from the author, I will post this very helpful link:

Yiddishkeit Glossary

This is an amazingly thorough site that has almost any Yiddish expression you might wish to translate. The site author, Mr. Michael D. Fein, tells me that they are working on an upgraded version which will allow searching in both English and Yiddish. However, he and his partner do this in their "spare time", so the upgrade might be a short wait. Nonetheless, it is a treasure trove of Yiddish expressions, and there is a newsletter and forum as well. The newsletter has several thoughtful articles and very fine writing to boot. Not bad for a stumbled upon Google find!

With my sincere thanks to Michael Fein.

[Suzanne F]

But what about the gribenes?

In my family, we always pronounced it GREE-ven -- with a "V" and no s at the end. That's just the way we did/do it; I have no idea why.

[JFLinLA]

And in my husband's family they were called something else:

GRIV-a-lach

[Pan]

My parents call it the same as your husband's family.

[pjs]

Molly O'Neill devotes a whole page in her New York Cookbook to praising the wonders of "Schmaltz and Gribeness", specifically as found at a particular NYC restarant.

Memorable quotes:

"My customers know what they are doing. When they book a table here they book a bed a St. Vincent's Hospital at the same time."

"Delicious on bread or, listen to this, with gribeness and chopped liver and black radish and a little chopped onion, which is what I refer to as a Jewish Casear salad, because waiters make it at the table."

"It's dietetic, eat schmaltz and you won't be eating again for a couple of days."

There's a recipe on the following page of the book.

PJ

[Al_Dente]

"Delicious on bread or, listen to this, with gribeness and chopped liver and black radish and a little chopped onion, which is what I refer to as a Jewish Casear salad, because waiters make it at the table."

Man, that sounds good. What restaurant?

[Rabbi Ribeye]

Happy Erev Chanukah, Kinderlach!

Had the honor of playing Santa last night for a buncha homeless kiddies in Anderson, SC. (Linda is Program Director for the Upstate Homeless Coalition.)

You cannot imagine the nachas.

OK, OK, it was a mitzvah. Forgeddaboutit.

But, hokey smokes, Bullwinkle, you shoulda seen THE SPREAD! Wumma! Incredibly Southern with the most at-home soulful under/over-tone --

Oy, the turkey (they'd never be caught dead eating that nouveau deep-fried crapola)

OK, the ham

The myriad variety pecan-crowned sweet-potato casseroles

Likewise the cornbread stuffing

The REAL potato salad (step aside Zabar's)

The REAL chopped slaw (ditto)

The yellow-squash casseroles

The every-imaginable-genus-of-sweet-pickled-veggies

The drown-me-momma gravy

The marshmallow-studded sweet-potato pie

The insulin-stat pecan pie

This two-foot deep goo, Trifle a la Lulu Roman

. . . oy . . . oy . . . oy . . . ah . . .ah . . . AH!!!

(Interpolate your own assumption here.)

Alas, the vision alone had to suffice. For, Santa must remain in character so as not to disillusion these already badly disillusioned kiddies. After all, do you ever see Santa doff his hat, roll up his sleeves, bare his hammy arms and mess his beard with biscuits and red-eye gravy? Hell, he even eats his milk and cookies when no one is looking.

Then again, I do have incriminating pix of these bootylicious mommas cuddling up on Santa's lap . . . but only after the kiddies had their turn. Take that, Jacko!

So, I consoled myself by coming home, washing the white gook out of my nearly white beard and eating half a tray of the most excellent simple, understated chocolate fudge . . . and woke up this morning with a fasting blood sugar of 300.

Sic semper Santa.

Edited December 19, 2003 by Rabbi Ribeye (log)

[Al_Dente]

I vote for the Rabbi as the official spiritual leader of eGullet.

Great post!

[wesza]

Happy Erev Chanukah, Kinderlach!

Had the honor of playing Santa last night for a buncha homeless kiddies in Anderson, SC. (Linda is Program Director for the Upstate Homeless Coalition.)

You cannot imagine the nachas.

OK, OK, it was a mitzvah. Forgeddaboutit.

But, hokey smokes, Bullwinkle, you shoulda seen THE SPREAD! Wumma! Incredibly Southern with the most at-home soulful under/over-tone --

Oy, the turkey (they'd never be caught dead eating that nouveau deep-fried crapola)

OK, the ham

The myriad variety pecan-crowned sweet-potato casseroles

Likewise the cornbread stuffing

The REAL potato salad (step aside Zabar's)

The REAL chopped slaw (ditto)

The yellow-squash casseroles

The every-imaginable-genus-of-sweet-pickled-veggies

The drown-me-momma gravy

The marshmallow-studded sweet-potato pie

The insulin-stat pecan pie

This two-foot deep goo, Trifle a la Lulu Roman

. . . oy . . . oy . . . oy . . . ah . . .ah . . . AH!!!

(Interpolate your own assumption here.)

Alas, the vision alone had to suffice. For, Santa must remain in character so as not to disillusion these already badly disillusioned kiddies. After all, do you ever see Santa doff his hat, roll up his sleeves, bare his hammy arms and mess his beard with biscuits and red-eye gravy? Hell, he even eats his milk and cookies when no one is looking.

Then again, I do have incriminating pix of these bootylicious mommas cuddling up on Santa's lap . . . but only after the kiddies had their turn. Take that, Jacko!

So, I consoled myself by coming home, washing the white gook out of my nearly white beard and eating half a tray of the most excellent simple, understated chocolate fudge . . . and woke up this morning with a fasting blood sugar of 300.

Sic semper Santa.

This brought tears to my eyes, and a smile to my heart.

Just think so close to the bithday celebration of he who was one of us. The chosen ones we have had the opportunity to observe a true "Mitzvah", and learned thru observation and deep thought that it's very likely the the real "Santa Clus", was possably also Jewish, maybe even a lonzman [spelling?] doing the good deed to bless the children of the world on a special occasion. How else could you keep the Beard White with all the temptations.

Really this was a wonderfull occasion that you've shared with us all.

"Ess Guzuntah Height" [Eat in Good Health] for tonight and the next 8 nights for Chanukah. Enjoy the Childrens Glow and savor your Schmaltz.

Irwin