bourdain

I see above, again, the advice to "avoid food stalls". To do so--especially for a travlling gulleteer--would be a terrible, terrible lapse. Some of the best eating experiences are in fact at food stalls in developing countries--and if you inquire of local foodies (above and beyond the waiter at the Hilton--who naturally assumes the worst of you because..well..you're staying at the Hiton, aren't you?) they will almost invariably send you to a particular stall/wet market/hawker stand. In Singapore, for instance, food stalls and hawker stands are a religion--with everybody having a favorite. There's even a guide published--a sort of hawker Zagat (only meaningful) with hundreds of fantastic places. The food handling at Singapore stalls is--by the way--close to impeccable--rigorously enforced and supplies are rotated regularly. In Vietnam, the little pho stands, noodle knockers, banh mi joints, coms are one of the principle attractions, the markets loaded with folks serving up unspeakably fresh and tasty stuff. Just use your head! Pate--sitting at room temperature might not be a good choice. But to miss out on fresh tacos of pig's head, or menudo, posole, those little zucchini flower quesadillas would be herecy--you might just as well stay at home. Thailand--Mamster tells me (haven't been there yet) is another example of missing half the experience if you avoid stalls. A rule of thumb might be: If the plac is packed with happy-looking locals--an the turnover of food looks quick; if the food looks fresh and smells fresh--then for God's sake EAT IT! Raw shellfish? Okay, the odds might not be attractive--you might well want to take a pass--but that's true anywhere to one extent or another. Some of the best, freshest and most memorable meals of my life have been within sniffing distance of pig styes (literally), flies and animal dung --which is also where many generations of our forefathers and ancestors probably enjoyed their meals, celebrated a good crop, rutted happily in their fetid bedding. How clean you think all those beloved French bisto kitchens were in Paris of the 30's and 40's--or even now? " A little honest dirt is rarely an impediment to a good meal." --Idwal Jones

Stick to bottled water--and the local alcoholic beverages whenever possible. The "ice issue" is tricky. A lot of Asian countries put non-purified ice in their beer for instance--and at some point, given the choice between spinning the wheel and drinking hot beer again, you will probably want to spin the wheel. Didn't bother me. Pack plenty of lomotil. (Get a scrip when you get your shots) As small amounts of e-coli and other bacteria are inevitable--usually in the most delicious and interesting stuff--you might consider beginning NOW to eat some of the nastier street food in your home area.I suggest deli salad bars, old hollandaise, street kekabs, dirty water hot dogs) Your system does get used to it somewhat--and it won't hit you so hard when you find yourself at the salad bar in Battambang or Laotian hill country. My best advice is to eat without fear. Don't miss out. Do NOT insult your hosts, or local merchants by demanding to examine their kitchens--that's just no way to travel. You may as well eat all your meals at the Hilton. Take a chance--take lots of chances. Food should be an adventure. Those occasional lonely moments praying for relief on a dirty bathroom floor make the good ones all the more magical. After a while on the road your system does adapt. Amoebas? You're on your own. Hope for the best--and eat. I recommend AGAINST anti-malarial drugs. They don't work, no expats seem to take them--and they mess you up in ways that even bad acid can't. Have fun. Eat everything that looks good and smells good (avoiding only unbottled water). And get a full GI screen when you return.

New suggestion: If you eat only one white tablecloth/fancy meal on the island (and you might well not want to--what with the constant near-sunstroke from drinking in the sun all day--and all the great cheap shack food) I highly recommend Citrus near Cupacoy Beach. The chef. Jeff Kipp, is recently of Charlie Trotter in Chicago--and I ate there last night and was astonished at how accomplished a meal it was: great ingredients, well-prepared..far and away the best meal of its kind I've had in 20 years of coming to the island. Not cheap--but worth it.

Yep!

I'd avoid the Dutch side. Remarkably--their phone sytem does not cover the French Side--and barely covers the Dutch.. I suggest buying ( I don't know if they rent) a cheap cell on the French Side. Orange in Belleville was really helpful to me--they set me up with a phone--and service good all over the island--and I can call and receive from the US and internationally. You pay as you go with handy dandy Orange cards available all over. And Yeah..I've heard to expect light hurricane season. So far the weather's been great.

Yeah--way off target on Mario with the cue cards crack.If any man has no need for cue cards to have something to talk about--it's him. He shoots that show in damn near real time--with minmal (if any) pre-prepared food--all the while slipping in a little off-the-top-of-the head ethnography, geography, history, anthropology--not to mention sly references to Proust, Rabelias, Suetonius and Sid Vicious. Easily the one of the smartest guys on television--including news divisions--far and away the smartest chef out there--and light years ahead of Bush --or any recent president in the brain wattage department.Clogs and shorts aside--one underestimates the man at one's peril. And he owns a whole lot of successful restaurants in Manhattan--an indicator of no small amount of shrewdness and business acumen.

Perlows! Some additions to my earlier Saint Martin suggestions.. Loterie Farms--an old plantation in a bowl shaped depression/valley, halfway up Pic Paradis is a cool (temp wise) retreat from the heat--and has--by local standards, pretty good food. Beautiful mix of good grub and location/view and very out of the way. Poulet d'Orleans, in a private home up a snaky hairpin turn in Orleans is kooky--with great chicken, fresh killed. If you care--the chef at the new place near Cupacoy Beach, Citrus, is a recent Trotter grad--haven't eaten there yet. You'll probably be the only customers just about everywhere. Let me stress again: AVOID Phillipsburg. There is nothing, nothing, nothing of interest--search for food--or anything good will be more fruitful in Marigot, Grand Case and French side. Other than Cupacoy, you can take a pass on the Dutch side beaches, too. The internet cafe in the Maho strip is pretty good....and don't forget bug repellent (applied by 4 PM when the mosquitos and no-see-ums come out). If you need a decent bloddy steak and a cold beer with burned out expats in an atmospheric environment--Uncle Harry's off the airport road in the back of the boatyard is pretty good--though filet only. They have good local lobsters--and Harry used to ride with the Angels so he has a lot of good stories. You are arriving in the heart of hurricane season, which should actually be pretty much fun--very romantic. Have fun. I am.

The Satyricon by Petronius (the Trimalchio dinner sequence is classic) Surprising is Trimalchio's "kelleresque" use of puns in dish concepts--something not uncommon in those times--his practical jokes, and "surprises" . A fun and illuminating read--particularly the earthy Oxford edition. Food folks fun and sodomy--the dinner table gossip could almost have happened yesterday.....

How many times have we heard these words from Bux? " just read the review..and haven't read the book(sub name of restaurant here)...but it certainly sounds like " followed by graph after graph of turgid prose staking a position based on admittedly nothing. Bux, to his credit, is possessed of a unique gift: he doesn't have to read it, taste it or understand it..he can SMELL what he don't like from miles away, no reason to encounter the thing itself. Maybe--just maybe--before next giving in to the urge to pontificate (and at such length!) on the "probable" merits of a book, Bux should actually read the fucking thing.

Just want to thank everybody for their questions, for their interest, their kind words. I'm sorry if I didn't get to all the questions....There are clearly some deeply disturbed individuals out there--and I wish I could hire every one of them. gracias carnales... Tony

Nah..tips are pretty good in NYC. And a round of beer for the kitchen (arranged so as to be delivered at closing--or appropriate moment) is always welcome anywhere I work.

As I don't have a dishwasher, or commis or minions willing to mop my brow and wash pots after me when at home--I usually confine my cooking to one-pot French classics like blanquette de veau, boeuf bourgignonne, daube..or simple roasts, grilled stuff...In fact, I've only recently started cooking at home. Thanks to my new swinging vida loca, I am not always comatose in my leisure hours.

These days, I just suck it up and give the bastards what they want. I think customers who are genuinely abusive to floor staff--or to other customers--should be thrown unceremoniously into the street. I recently had the pleasure of actually doing this--physically grabbing someone by the scruff of the neck and hurling them out onto the sidewalk (they had drunkenly abused a table of women customers). I never felt so good in my life. Hand comes down on shoulder from behind. Me: "That's it. Get the fuck out. Now." Customer: "But..but.." Me: " Shut the fuck up you yellow mutt cocksucker." Customer then forcibly spun around, frog-marched to the door, a solid push across the sidewalk. Me: "And stay out!" Naturally, I apologized to the ladies for my language and bought them dessert.

Ideally, prepared food should be labelled with all ingredients listed...restaurant food ingredients perhaps, available on request--as with shellfish tags. I think any move to include complete information as part of the ordering process would be a step down the road to hell. Where does it end? "Coffee is hot." " Bones Inside Fish May Lodge In Throat" " Sushi May Contain Parasites--and lead to Blood In Stool." " McNugget--If Chewed Improperly, May Lodge In Throat" "Pineapple--If Inserted Rectally--May Cause Painful Swelling and Itching.""

Not in England.

Awww Jeesus! Here we go. The Billy Joel, People Mag post-rehab cover. "He's back! With a new album about his struggles with..." He cries for Barbara Walters--that's a Must, of course. And Oprah for sure. Mutt's probably sniffing crushed up Ritalin and washing it down with Peach schnapps or some shit...Anyone smell book deal?

I am absolutely against increased food labelling. It's getting completely ridiculous when restaurants give you a written warning/release form if you order a rare steak or an egg over easy. To eliminate risk is to eliminate pleasure. The pendulum has swung waaay waaay too far into antiseptic and fearful. There should be no implication of absolute safety when approaching food. With fast food, people should be smart enough to assume the worst. This idea that we are never responsible for our own choices and behavior--that the govt. or somebody should be responsible for removing all danger and all risk from our everyday lives is the root of all future evil. I think people should choose not to eat fast food. I do not need--nor do I want to know everything that goes into what I put in my stomach. Next step? Grilling grandma before Thanksgiving dinner.."Did you cook that stuffing seperately? " As understanding as I am of the very reasonable curiosity about what might go into Mickey D's secret sauce--I think that one thing leads to another--and you require Ronald and crew to list every molecule--and you'll soon be saying goodbye to foie gras, good cheese, stak tartare, Caesar salad, eggs over easy, bone marrow, any kind of good game, all raw shellfish, sushi, and a lot of good sausage. Know your enemy. He's a smiling, happy, sincere health or legal professional--with all the best intentions. And he's coming for you.

Had marinated grilled uterus in Tokyo--at a Korean steakhouse. Spicy--deelish. But a little chewy..

I truly have no idea why KC did so well. I hoped/expected it to do well with cooks in the tri-state area, was shooting for a cult success with the line-dog/tormented loner set--at best. Believe me--it came as a big surprise. 17 languages and counting..Who knew? As far as the Simpsons. Far and away the smartest funniest thing on television--and the font of all truth and wisdom.

They're showing the "pig episode" in Canada? Cool! They seem to be holding off on showing it here--I was beginning to wonder if they'd decided not to run it.

So far, the only people I have clearly and knowingly libelled with intent (to the best of my knowledge) : Steven, my former sous--and Adam-Real-Last-Name--have been dining out and gettin' laid off their notoriety. I informed them in advance that I was planning on revealing to the world their every hideous personal predilection, criminal tendency and disgusting personal habit--and they pretty much grunted--"Okay..cool." Comedy ensued when, for instance, Steven--in a new slick corporate chef job in Florida, was summoned to the dining room by the stately middle-aged female editor of a major food section. She greeted him, glanced down at his clogs (which I had referred to as frequently semen-spattered in KC) and dryly remarked, "they look clean to me." The books are vetted by legal--and my daily regimen of diatribe has--to date--not resulted in any quality time in court. I feel sorry for anyone who tries--as my wife is a seasoned, self-taught sea-lawyer of the worst kind--with an unbroken string of victories in housing court. And anyone who wants to appear in court to demonstrate they are in fact provably NOT a "chicken stealing, crack smoking, pin-dicked shoemaker--who does regularly to food what Hitler did to Poland" (for instance) would have to read that phrase in the newspaper every day while my wife puts them through a painful, lengthy and intrusive "discovery" process, fully exploring--for the record--any and all potentially inappropriate contact with poultry in their past. So knock wood.

Steak knives are number one. But if you're silly enough to have nice ones:espresso spoons, espresso cups...God help you if you have nice ashtrays. People will steal anything--just for the fun of it--to furnish their squalid home kitchens, as souvenirs, to fill in gaps in their own flatware and utensils. The amount of stuff lifted is pretty staggering--and breakage--yikes! I'm sure the top-end places that use expensive china have some great stories of wealthy dowagers trying to pinch crystal snifters, wedgewood plates, silver. You'd be amazed what seemingly normal people do when drunk. But then, maybe not.

The marrow at Prune--from a recipe by Fergus Henderson(the parsley salad)--is wonderful. And I love the place. Note on marrow spoons: The reason few restaurants offer them is that they are way too pretty--and expensive. People steal them. You'd lose every other one if put on the table.

Favorite Magazines: Mojo...the New Yorker...Sunday Times London (the Mag) particularly for AA Gill...I loath Vanity Fair--but read it for Chris Hitchens...Dishwasher Magazine (a fanzine type thing that's wonderful--passed by hand like Samizdat), amd of course I dearly miss the days of the old SPY mag...Creem, New York Rocker...nothing to replace them..I read everything anyway as I spend a lot of time in airports. Websites: hairytongue.com--particularly the fat-tongued oliver gallery cheftalk.com ..ontherail.com....smokinggun.com...ganglandnews.com Food Writers: AA Gill...Jim Harrison...Trillin...I liked Molly O Neal's old Times column....Mimi Sheraton's stuff is prickly and fun...I have a very soft spot for Ruth Reichl's books (surprising, huh?), but am usually more interested in wrirting on cooks than on cooking: ie: Bememlmans, Freeling, Orwell... As far as least favorite? So much of print journalism is just so lazy--and deliberately false. See the recent Harpers Bazaar piece on Sexy Chefs..Total bullshit--and they know it. They could easily have peeked just a little bit deeper and had an interesting story--but chose--as usual in such pieces to basically stick with the generally perceived wisdom--that chefs are just basically--hot-and that it must be dreamy to be hooked up with one. As any chef--or chef;s significant other will tell you--that's far from the truth. Vanity Fair's latest--in fact anybody's latest on the movements and couplings of a bunch of right wing, geriatric socialites--and their coddled and clueless offspring fill me with murderous rage. To include Dominick Dunne's non- trial related blatherings..anything by Taki...anything about Tom Cruise--as you are not allowed to write anything about him not approved by his flacks--a situation Pol Pot would have been proud of--see latest sloppy hummer to Elaine's--center of the world for flabby-assed white guys--puffy celebrity profiles that ignore the obvious..any knee jerk liberal or knee jerk right wing idealogue..snobby websites run by Comic-Book Guy-like wonks who know shit about shit...food writers who think we give a shit about their depressing, arid, candy-ass personal lives--and who have probably never given nor received decent oral sex in their lives...I could go on all day...

More and more every day...As I get older and (dare I say) more sentimental--as the world becomes increasingly uncertain--it feels good to look back. Nothing jogs the memory--transports one back to a specific time and place--more powerfully than smell and flavor. So, memory--and an understanding of human nature--of real people's wants and needs--is a really strong asset for a chef--and I think its one of the things that really distinguishes Keller from the rest. At Les Halles, of course, it's straight, unvarnished nostalgia all the way. No irony about it. We dupe--as exacly as possible--the stuff that the owners (and I--to a great extent) grew up eating. I think the casual diner would be astonished at the lengths we go to to get it right. I do not know a lot of other bistro brasseries where they go to the trouble and expense of using haricot de Tarbe for cassoulet. The amounts of pork blood, pork skin, calves and pig's feet, duck fat we use is out of another time--believe me. Few brasseries have the stones to actually use rumsteak for steak frites as we do--preferring to use the more US-friendly sirloin. You don't see a lot of pieds cochon and rillettes de porc on NY menus (though you do from time to time)--and you have never eaten game so high as the lievre (stinky hare) during wild game month--unless you're hanging it yourself. I vividly recall wiping plates carefully when I first arrived at LH, applying sauce delicately--and being told--"Non, non.we don't do that here. Rustic! Rustic!"