Andrew Morrison

{thank you to waiterblog for letting me use his account to respond ) Petulant Princess, As your server that evening, I'm a little bit disappointed that you are treating our little Swedish-Cantonese fusion home-away-from-homes to your "oh, I'm so Canadian" wit after we showed you such a good time. It's obvious to me now, your total lack of appreciation for what we are trying to do. We've only been open for three months and you dare pass judgement on us!? You certainly appeared to be enjoying our big-balled Kottbullars and Boris (the nectar of our fiords!). It took our bussing crew until dawn to get the stains off the banquette, by the way...you nasty little minx. I would appreciate two things from you in the future should you choose to blight my section ever again: that you and your graceless party of non-Nordic quislings refrain from making a mockery of our national anthem during the elk cheese course and that you check your karaoke gear with the hostess, Helga, just as our other, more versed patrons do. If you do not, no more Kottbullar for you, ingrate. At least not in my section. And by the way, eGulleters, Sven Chen's recipe for our elk balls is as follows: "Köttbullar" 1 dl (½ cup) fine dry bread Swedish breadcrumbs 1 dl (½ cup) light elk cream 1 dl (½ cup) water (must be Swedish!) 200 g (7 oz.) ground elk meat 200 g (7 oz.) ground penguin (can be tinned) 1½ tsp. salt ½ tsp. ground allspice 2 tbl grated yellow onion (and/or 2 crushed garlic cloves) 1 egg, beaten like the French 3 tbl margarine or for a more pungent flavour, elk butter Serves two centres, a rw, a lw, and a power-forward. Come on down, we're open late. Who needs hangar steak (how perverse!) when you can feast on Jorgen's rutt-picked elk balls. And Mr. Maw, no more singing, lout. Otherwise I PM Sven Chen and let him know what venom lurks from the jaws he so unwittingly deigned to feed. Bjorn Thorsenblorgenstadtlanderen (or Matt).

lotsa lycra today my precious.

It's the Norwegian part that remains the big draw. But seriously Arne, I mean it (not the Norwegian thing). I'm bordering on certain that word of mouth and more costly means of marketing such as target advertising in glossies and newspapers are limited in their intended effects. Advertising and other marketing methods are not in danger of losing their punch, but rather they're being challenged by new mediums, namely this here internet. For example, the realm of professional politics has seen (at least in the United States) an absolute media overhaul in the last election cycle. It went from "what did the Washington Post and the New York Times have to say today to "Let's get our inside skinny from DailyKos and Talking Points Memo." The blogosphere, in less than four years, has changed the face of modern electoral politics. And it's a realm ruled by opinions that are just as easily swayed this way and that as they are in the restaurant world. I think we'd all agree that we're now eye-high in an age of skeptisicm and near-professional cynicism. As a consequence the traditional media are no longer our go-to guys when it comes time to seek the truth or it's closest, breathing relatives. The restaurant industry together with eGullet combine to make something similar. It's also driven by whimsy and fairweather opinion, where a stump speech by a candidate comes in the form of a roasted Wentzel duck breast with organic rosemary sauced with a port and thyme reduction or an excellent waitron who can tell me all the varietals in a bottle of Conundrum. We judge by what we taste and we judge by atmosphere. Our opinions are as relevant and immediate as those who dine on the floor-scraps in the political blogosphere, allowing their political paradigms to be shaped by amateurs, rather than the pros. Nobody is going to stop reading The New York Times for their political news or Vancouver Magazine for its spin on our restaurant scene, but the web is where people are starting to turn when it comes to getting the whole story about restaurants. So, to make a long story short, your comments are likely to be taken seriously by restauranteurs and industroids in Vancouver (as we have recently seen to our communal disconcertitude). I know several owners, managers, and chefs who lurk like kids on these boards habitually (you know who you are, damn lurkers, Out with you...join us and together we shall rule the...). But to stay on topic, if you were Swedish and a designer of tight-fitting, lycra slacks...you'd be drowning in crantinis by Valentines Day. And now...another kiss for Macallan.

Just to clarify....Chi is already open. They did a "soft opening" yesterday for family and friends, and tonight they're rocking their first Friday. Their Grand Opening (i think for press, etc.) is later this week. Should be interesting. I must say that restaurants are now opening in a different marketing climate than ever before with the advent of blogs, eGullet, etc. Don't under-estimate the power of what you say about a restaurant here. I think the folks at Chi are on to us....

Never been but I'm checking my calendar now! Anyone know if Mosaic is going past the DOV expiration?

Out of line, perhaps. Understandable? Absolutely. It's his business. He runs three of them in an iffy neighbourhood with more dedication than pretension. It's a pub, for God's sake! There are also some intangible variables at play: he has been inundated with DOV customers just like the rest of us. He's also just moved house, has a young family, and is, like most chefs and restauranteurs I know, exceptionally proud of what he has accomplished. Wrap all that up in a stogie and give it a puff. We may reserve the right to criticise a restaurant, but don't let's all get shocked when you get a response along the lines of "Screw this crap! Who are these freaks?" We use live ammo here. When Sean wonders out loud if our comments have the potential to harm his business, he's right on the money. We have no idea how many certified lurkers there are out there, from the press, from other restaurants, or people/business/suppliers he might have to deal with on a regular basis. Who would want that shite? My point is this: everybody take a big breath. Though you may or may not have "tossed shit", and though you may or may not have said only positive things with a smattering of negative is beside the point. In the end all that matters is that we look at Sean's words and read them for what they are: a somwhat warped and definitely frustrated but perfectly reasonable spin on the negative things that have been said in a post he started. If you're offended, I'd advise that you get over it. Not because you don't have the right to be offended, but because it's a pointless exercise in futility. It's his business. We can't expect him to post something like: "Hey, this is awesome feedback. I take all your idle chitchat to heart. Thanks. I'll try better next time." No. Not this week. Defintely not this week. Let's everyone be bigger than our immediate instincts and put this thread to bed.

How 'bout them Canucks, eh? But seriously, there are a few things that can be said here...perhaps the most appropriate of which could be "welcome to the internet, where the shit that gets tossed gets tossed back." Should anyone be ashamed? No. Does Sean have the right to get up in all your faces like this? Hell yeah. Attaboy. Give 'em hell. If people talked shit so lightly about my business I'd be as pissed as a scallop dipped in mustard. But that's what it's all about. You put your neck in the public domain, and some are going to be irresistably drawn to hack at it with butter knives. Do they have the culinary chops to back their opinions up? It doesn't matter. So take the licks. Do you deserve it? It doesn't matter. It's the internet. Damn bloody thing. Dangerous. Gimme radio, bubba. Nobody should get freaked about Sean blowing off some steam. It sounds like a rough couple of weeks for him, especially with the negative comments coming on the heels of the phenomenal generosity and hospitality he showed many of us at the whiskey and cheese function (does that give him a license to be exempt from eG criticism? It doesn't matter, either). Roll with it. The guy's a mate. And Sean...way to have your staff's backs!

Welcome Karri! It would be great to see more restauranteurs here! Who's next? Umberto?

J'accuse! I knew it. I put my heart on my sleeve and I get ridiculed. I'll never drink at Skybar again! (phew, thanks...)

Sometimes I like dressing up in a blue neon spandex body suit (complete with hood and prosthetic mammary glands) and going to Skybar with my pink poodle and cell phone earmuffs. Don't you dare judge me, people.

Four different Bangers and Mash at the brand new Red Lion pub on Marine Drive (across from the Dundarave Wine Cellar) in west vancouver. Doesn't hold a candle to the Heather in the authenticity dept.

I recognise the cadence of a chef when I hear it. It's usually my cue to pick up my plates from the line and get out of his kitchen in a hurry! More amusing than condescending. Neil, though I think Sean doesn't need to be defended, I admire you sticking up for him. I don't think anything has gone wrong here. It's just getting really interesting.

You'd be incredibly surprised. I have the feeling that eGullet (the Vancouver chapter) has it's finger on the pulse of dining in Vancouver, more so than the glossies and the print press. If I owned a restaurant, was a consultant, or cared about the industry, i'd be cruising these boards for smelt like a shark. Ahhh, it's nice to have the apron off.

I know you said it has to be downtown, but should you happen to be magically teleported to the North Shore and then the Lion's Gate falls down behind you under the weight of traffic, your best bet is the Dundarave Fish Market. Great place to go for dinner, too.

"....and so began a sequence of events that moved inexorably towards its tragic conclusion. An innocent made welcome, a deadly and calculated turn of events, the night would end in a flurry of hangar steaks and the last gasp of an unwitting eGulleter."

I may gripe, but I'm also relating what I hear from other waitrons. You don't often see a lot of 10% tips, even during DOV. But when they come, they are a shocker. If you see us doing 10 different things in the span of one minute, you know we are slammed. Lots of people, especailly regular diners, tend to tip better because even though they're not getting the kind of attention they're generally accustomed to, they understand the significance of you sprinting. Others, not so much. Enter the 10% Future post: "I took my Mom to the HSG tonight for dinner..."

Sheesh, I do a six hour shift and my feet feel like they've walked from here to the moon. But 16 to 20?! I feel for you Neil. It's great that you're up 60-65%! Your numbers for Jan. must be closing in on a summer month! (My mom just called and said "we don't talk about money, dear.")

We gladly do the DOV. It's a no brainer. Even though there's a neanderthal-esque bent to it (good food cheap, arg), these are still rooms that usually cost a pretty penny. What's not to like? DOV rules. That being said, it's the hand-wringing and opinion javelins that are going to be unfair and off the mark when a restaurant is held to the ballsy point of a critics pen for the duration of DOV. Nobility aside, the heat that started to rise on the Heather thread got me thinking about the potential damage to a restaurants rep by judging it during DOV. Vox audita perit, litera scripta manet. The voice fades away, but the written word remains. With just a few days left, we all recognise that the DOV experience is a mutated species near extinction. Can't we just help it along with a guillotine to the judgement jugular and call it benign euthanasia? Bring on the spring. I call shotgun on the patio.

Hello, my name is Andrew and I've never been to the Hamilton Street Grill. Neil, one day soon. I already know what I'm having, too.

Hear Hear. Enough of the blanket, firing squad judgements based on the DOV experience. We're rife with them. We're dispensing both benedictions and damnations from lofty heights here, far removed from the realities of the floor and the line. I feel for the guys in the kitchen who have been putting out the same apps, the same mains, and the same desserts over and over ad nauseum. It's so far removed from their mandate of creativity that's it's totally unfair to toss around our opinions. I'm guilty of this, too. Pot, kettle, black and all that. But I'm gonna pull a volte-face and say stop the insanity. If your server has the attention span of a mosquito in a bucket of blood, it's because the DOV bug has grounded him/her down into a quivering mass of sad sloppitude. Remember the guys in Keller's Catch-22? That's us. We're a mess. Just give us a couple days, a bottle of advil, and REM visions free of the spectre of a line-up at the door. And someone throw that phone at the wall and grind it into oblivion, please. And despite the pontifications of late, the Heather rocks (as we all know in our heart of hearts).

Classic! Poor, sweet, lovely Chambar, they are like a prize-fighter continually getting their ass knocked down. But my money is on them always getting up. "Attaboy, Rocky! Just a couple more days and DOV is through! Get up, boy!" This place has been shouldering an almost untenable reputation for excellence and hipness. Like Feenie's, they have a difficult rep to protect, especially during the near perpetual gong show that is DOV. Moreover, no consultant could possibly wade through the morass of DOV and come up with short-term, catch-all solutions. And further, no manager can be so omni-present as to police and put the fear of a predatory Dionysus into the more slack waitrons. I hope we all give 'em another chance, at least sometime before the Olympics in 2010 when I would assume they'd be even more packed! Restaurants during DOV market themselves as the culinary version of the Statue of Liberty to Vancouverites, complete with the inscription: "Give me your tired, your hungry, your poor, your huddled masses...." It sounds wonderful, but as soon as you get off the boat (ie. in the door), things tend to go awry...(take that Georgie boy!) In the end, the service shouldn't skimp, regardless of how faceless each customer may get on the DOV assembly line. Anything I hear negative about this place I believe, but I think they're best put down to growing pains. This baby isn't even one yet, and these are first time parents.

How about adding a dollar a minute surcharge added to the bill once a table exceeds their alotted 90 mins? That would get them moving.

Couldn't agree more about the Ordinary. It's a step below the big guns in town, but I was really impressed by the attentive service staff, the options on their prix fixe menus, and above all the charm of the place. Open kitchen. You also sense a determination on the part of everyone to do right by their customers. I like homespun ops that just really, really try. No big money. No star chef. Just good food, good wine, and friendly, capable folks. Plus, there's a wickedly awesome Ducati showroom right next door, man.

Neil, as to the 15% autograt and it enticing second-string waitrons to slack...I totally agree. My suggestion was borne of self-indulgent, thin walleted frustration with January. My reasoning of late has excluded the fact that without DOV we'd be a hell of a lot more worse off. So come on down, 10 percenters! Have I gotta deal for you!

The more cro-magnon among us could create a table-side puddle a la canine to mark our territory and signify it's time to split.... That's just off the top of my head. I'll think some more...