abadoozy

Here's my attempt. Grilled flank steak with a chipotle-jalapeno rub and a salad, served family-style. I had to be hip like you all, so went out and bought the square white serving platter from Target yesterday - $10, not a bad deal. It's a perfect size for a 2-course dinner for 2-3 people, or one larger course. It turned out OK, I think. The meat could be fanned out a bit more, and for the life of me I couldn't get the salad greens to stand up straight, but I was happy with it. Beats the hell out of my lazy-day platings, which consist of "grab a beer and help yourself off of the stove."

Knives. I know why a large percentage of people don't cook: it's because dicing an onion with a dull 3" paring knife is enough to make anyone run to McDonald's instead. I don't know why it's such a hard thing to spend money on one or two good knives, but it's common for me to see a kitchen stocked with all sorts of non-essential crap - pizza ovens, egg peelers, pancake cookers - but not even an inexpensive chef's knife. Don't forget cutting boards. Far too many people use a plate to dice things on. Not for me, thank you very much. You can get thin plastic boards that can be rolled for easy carrying; if I cooked outside my house a lot I'd invest in some of those. The pepper grinder's a good one, but chances are most people at least have pepper around, albeit the pre-ground kind. Instead of carrying a grinder, I'd carry around a stash of commonly used herbs & spices, as it's no guarantee that people will have, say, basil or oregano around. Sure, you can buy them, but spices add up quickly and I'd rather not have to purchase $20 worth of spices whenever I cook something at someone's house. The other thing I tend to carry around with me is a waiter's corkscrew. People don't have corkscrews, or, if they do, they're broken, dull, or otherwise unusable. I like to stash corkscrews everywhere; in the car, in my purse, in a drawer in the bedroom, the bathroom, the garage. But maybe that's just further proof that I drink too much.

I've got at least ten pounds of brisket in the fridge, turning into corned beef. If you've never tried corning your own, you oughta. It's easy to do, and head & shoulders above the salt-n-food coloring crap you buy at the grocery store. We'll be eating it Saturday at our cabin, along with cabbage, parsnips, and rutabagas. Oh, and I suspect there will be some beer and scotch being passed around. We're just that type of people.

Depending on where you live, you can get Domaine Ste. Michelle for between $8 and $12/bottle. It's hands down the best widely distributed inexpensive champagne on the market, IMO. Around here - the Frozen Northern Wastes - it's available in the grocery stores. Gruet, out of New Mexico, is also quite good, but a little more expensive and may not be available everywhere.

I second Formaggio Kitchen. I love cheese, and I live in the middle of nowhere. I've ordered from Formaggio several times, and they are professional, courteous, and know their product. I've never been disappointed. They even went out of their way to track down a package that I feared had been lost on the day I had a party planned and the cheese from Formaggio was the main course! I recommend them heartily. Mmmmm.... cheese!

I live in a very small town, and eating (or drinking!) out is always an adventure in itself. I never know what new heights of culinary mishap I will be exposed to; I thought I had topped it when I was told at the nicest restaurant in town that the chef was "too busy" to make the hollandaise for the Eggs Benedict I'd ordered. Seeing as this is the Cocktail forum, though, I'll relate the story of the Worst Margarita I've ever had. It was a Sunday afternoon, and warm out. We'd stopped at a local bar for a quick drink before heading out to meet some friends, and I had a hankering for a margarita. Having lived and travelled in the southwest for many years, I know what a good margarita is, and I had no hope of getting one at this particular bar. Still, I was willing to settle for Cuervo and Marg Mix - it was that kind of day. I approached the bartender, and asked if he could make a margarita. "Oh yeah!" he says. "I make a great margarita!" My husband looked at me doubtfully, and said "I don't think this is a good idea." I poo-poo'd him, and went ahead and ordered my marg. After a moment's doubt, hubby ordered one as well. I watch the bartender. He grabs a bottle of something I'd never seen before, which turned out to be an off-off-off brand of Tequila. I knew better than to ask for something like Patron or even Sauza in this small northern town, but Cuervo wasn't too far out of the ballpark. "Um, do you have Cuervo?" "No, sorry." he says. "How about El Toro?" I ask. I'd spent many a fine college night collecting the little sombreros that topped that particular brand of tequila. It wasn't good tequila, but it at least brought back good memories. "Nope, this here is all we have." He waved the clear bottle containing a clear, flat looking liquid. "OK" I sighed. At this point I figured the marg mix would make up for the lack of decent tequila. I knew it wouldn't be a homemade mix, but I figured at least he'd have a decent brand or two of mixers. After all, this is a college town, and college students like margaritas, right? The bartender finishes pouring a shot or two of tequila into a couple of thickly made stemmed glasses. Then, before I could think, he grabs the soda gun and fills the glasses with... something. It was clear, and sparkling. Could it be...? No, it couldn't be.... I take the glass he offers me, and dubiously take a sip. Yup, I had just been served... Tequila and Sprite!