circeplum

i went to timo when it first opened and the critics were raving about it. it was probably the most boring restaurant experience i've had in recent months: boring, beige decor, boring punters and boring food. my chicken dish - a sort of griddled breast with some roasted veg - was the kind of thing i serve to my poor children when i've got bugger all in the fridge. it tasted like old loofah. i do remember a brilliant dish of oxtail and thyme ravioli, though.

edited out of apathy and anomie

peter - as ever, jumping to conclusions! i ate terribly in venice and speak italian pretty fluently as, surprisingly, does my italian mama. unlike you, who can't seem to spell pizzeria! (from italy true test thread: 'First of all it clears up the misconception once and for all that Pizza is Italian and NOT from NYC (BTW did you know that there are many Pizzaria's in Naples that do not serve wine at all! Italians, on the whole, prefer to drink beer with pizza and think we're crazy ordering wine).

bionic buds? now i really have heard it all ...

there is a place rather twee-ly called pippa pop-ins (i think they have a couple of branches now) which acts as a children's 'hotel'. they have fully trained staff, there are always loads of other children; the food is home-made and children regard it as the ulimate 'sleepover' - it's like a big party. if you're nervous about encountering hostility in some of the upscale restaurants with a small child - and you probably will, sadly; i remember taking my two first class on eurostar and have never felt so unpopular in my life - it's probably worth investigating. (and if you're prepared to pay gr prices, it's probably worth shelling out the extra! ) link to it and other services: http://www.newinlondon.com/chi.shtml

What makes you think they were their nieces? forgot to put a in there ... andy - do you have a link to the times article?

sounds fun wot duz etioleted mean? i meant long and skinny and pale. (sorry, was being wanky. got carried away. )

the connaught - which i'd never been to before - was divine. i wanted to move into the bar where the staff cossetted us like old friends. when we went through to our table, though, the atmosphere changed from one of relaxed luxury to a heavy fug of tense stuffiness. too many staff, all employing varying degrees of archness - more wine, laydeez? how is it so far, laydeez? - got in our way at every available opportunity. food was far simpler than the other gordon ramsay outposts (and not desperately italian, more kind of modern european). neither was it particularly brilliant. a creamy and musky risotto with white truffle (well, we had to ...) was the best dish, we had to wait an authentic nearly half hour for its preparation. unbritishly, we made a point of asking its cost (less than locatelli) squid ink pasta with cromer crab was mouth-puckeringly oversalted. truly verging on the inedible. thick collops of veal came with a basic assembly of spring veg and an awesomely addictive truffled pomme puree. excellent venison was served on a bed of etiolated sauerkraut with a couple of teeny trompettes de mort. bizarrely, the same jug of over-reduced, again too salty, red wine jus was poured over both. both these dishes were ok, but kind of dinner party stuff. puds were elaborate, too pissed by this juncture (about midnight) to remember much about them. then came a tedious array of minuscule other puddings - a doll's tea cup of tiramisu, tuilles of various flavours. enough already! i found this element truly over-the-top at claridges, too - if i want a million sweet things, i'll order them. with a couple of stunning cocktails from the infinitely preferable bar and a bottle of wine from the entry level of the wine list, £160 for two, i thank yew. i'm all for luxury, but i found the atmos here (and at claridges) an impediment to fun. in fact, there was hardly a laugh to be heard throughout the room. fay maschler was sitting opposite us looking miserable, as were numerous elderly types with their young nieces. surely upscale eating shouldn't have to preclude a good time? (and, no: i don't mean bun-throwing ...) gosh, my longest ever post. i didn't like it ... i should have known after claridges but i am an incurable restaurant junkie.

going tonight. tra la la. so beat you blh (that's if you're still going ...). (how childish i've become) only table available, 9.45 pm. by which point i'll probably be so pissed/ravenous that my critical capacities will be completely bludgeoned. is this a complete waste, i wonder?

jun tanaka is terrific, a real talent. and he's just launching a new menu for autumn full of game and harvest vegetables, which should be a good reason to visit. it's not on my list because the gloominess and opressiveness of the chancery court hotel in which qc is situated reminds me rather too forcibly of the overlook in 'the shining' ...

locanda locatelli is fabulous. in a wholly other way, so is the hunan. that would be my two.

sorry matthew, but that would be park walk.

... and risotto on pizza dough?

my mother will never willingly acknowledge that there's anything in italy with which she's not intimately familiar. she said it's a method of oven-cooking risotto which obviates the standing at the stove palaver without any danger of it drying out. in any case, it was spectacularly good. as to edinburgh - i'm from glasgow, so i know where you're coming from (literally ...)

oh, i was hoping nobody would notice ... i realised when i was there that i've been spoilt for italy by london's overblown cornucopia. for the first week i happily went plundering: ciak in monterosoo, mikey in monterosso, and the osteria manana as recommended by episyd. a langoustine risotto at mikey was one of the best dishes i've experienced in ages; it was cooked in a way unfamiliar to me - in a vast earthenware pot under a lid of dough, a bit like the indian dum pukt (sp?). the rice was nutty, the langoustine sweet and there were little flecks of peperoncino. amazing. but i'm afraid that was as good as it got for me: i didn't get to many of the other suggestions due to our being transportless and with small children. (this was by no means the original plan ...) in any case, within a couple of days i found myself aching for lemon grass, or tamarind, or ginger, or any flavouring that wasn't in the cinque terre canon. and i truly never want to see pesto again. london diners become novelty seekers without being aware of it. it's very difficult to get excited about a new restaurant when you know that its menu - and even decor - will be virtually a carbon copy of the previous one. i suppose it's that old sex/food analogy - you're constantly looking for new thrills. i apologise profusely for my jadedness - i know i sound spoilt and petulant. i hope the italians will forgive me. it's central london wot's to blame. i came home and just couldn't wait to dive into a full-on curry. gee, adam - i wish you hadn't asked. and i wish there were an emoticon for 'worried about italian wrath'. my mother will kill me.

It is but it's now called Myna Bird. same lunatic menu? (i can't believe anyone actually went there more than once ...) (sorry about off-subjectness.)

really glad you liked it, magnolia. i think it's a class act and i love lambs conduit st anyway. by the way, did you notice if the bizarre empire across the road (chocolate coated scorpions etc.) is still in business?

in any case, this is not what i want to hear.

i liked deca very much, and didn't find it as astronomical as jay rayner did in his observer review. sure, it was nippy, but where else with this quality of food comes cheap? (the chef whose name i forget was the man responsible for for chez nico's michelin stars and his langoustine ravioli were beyond gorgeous. cushiony, plump, pink, in a sinfully rich lobster bisqu-ey sauce - i dream of them still.) make sure you go upstairs, it's a much nicer room.

what's the stance on alcohol, simon? are you still indulging? a life without booze ...

just read john whiting's 'diet of worms' thread with interest. i've also done a search on atkins diet and this was the only topic that came up. has anyone on the board actually tried atkins? have you had any success? the official site makes it sound miraculous, even loweing cholesterol levels. can this be for real?

i LOVE the hunan. i have never had a bad meal there, ever, and am quite happy to leave myself in the hands of the masterful mr peng. last time i went (about a fortnight ago) he gave us an extra dish of lobster, ginger, chilli and garlic on crispy noodles because we said we weren't full. you get about 6 or 7 courses anyway and the value is excellent. i quite liked the phoenix; because taruschio has a thai connection (can't remember what) there's an interesting eastern flavour to some of the dishes. i ate his famous dish of lasagne and truffles which was magnificent, but i thought the place a little cold and snooty (i was with a pair of liverpudlian lushes which might have had something to do with it ...)

tony - thanks for that. i, too, am agog about the performance art. miss j - clearly that favourite london restaurant ploy of employ-'em-cos-they're-cute. who cares if they know the business? the hideous asia de cuba represents its apogee ...

in today's standard (thur 15) charles campion is recommending steak places: la pampa (battersea) top floor at smith's popeseye and chez gerard. hmmmm tony - as a wapping resident, have you tried 'wapping food'? what do you think?

thanks again. i'm packed and ready to go (with my mama, who comes from the area and is the world's sternest food critic apart from her wierd penchant for pizza hut). i'll report back!