Simon Majumdar

Once again Robin's memory and judgement have been clouded by a free drink. I urge any of you to take Robin up on his offer. He is excellent company and it will save me having to go ever again S

I can only tell you that from that experience, they seemed as if they would not be too bothered what anyone thought. I have to 'fess that I did not stump up the cash, Rob did, but I am hard pressed to think of there being enough hot needles on earth in the world that they could stick in my eyes to make me want to go back there S

The Nosherie is very good and all the better for being a 24hr joint. S

I am a great believer that Authors should be locked up in their rooms until they have delivered the manuscript on time and not in crayon Then and only then would I take them for a meal, but certainly not somewhere as enjoyable as La Trouvaille. I would not want to ruin the meals of the other guests while my "artistic" friends went on and on and on..... about their "muse man" You have a very special publisher who takes you to such places S

After the horrors of Milk & Honey ( see other thread ) Robin and I went to see if we could get a table at La Trouvaille. The place was packed to the gunwhales but they did find a space for us. I was a little concerned after Sam F and Scott had a poor meal there, but I am pleased to say that it was back to very good standards. I did the usual, Foie Gras and Petit Salle. Robin did the Foie followed by a bavette. All the dishes were well prepared and in good potrions. The Pork Belly was the best I have had in my last three visits. We had a bottle of Letrouze ( Sp ) which is a small producer from the north of the cote de rhone. Very tasty and a steal at £19. We split a chocolate fondant between us. Very good Meal for two c£90. The menu is about to change this week. They couldn't show us a copy as they said " they had not decided what the hell they were going to do. 7/10 - it remains a very dependable standby

In a moment of internet madness we joined this "club" in London just on Broadwick St. We had thought it would be interesting as it was being run by the Match Bar Group, consistently the best provider of cocktails in London and it was being overseen by Dale DeGroff who is the main man in NY and this bar is the sister bar of one of the same name in Manhattan I liked the idea that you had to book ahead as this meant a) You would get a table b) You would be spared the plethora of shiny suited oiks who populate Soho in the evening. The bar itself has had what they call a "silent" opening. Almost no publicity except for that about the nature of a silent opening Arriving at the correct address, we were unsure if the plain black frontage ( no signs at all ) was the right place, but despite the fact it could have been The Soho Spankorama, we went it. Inside we were "greeted" by two waifs who has the brains of your average soap dish. Not only did it take them a good ten minutes to find the name Majumdar on the list ( not hard to spot I would have thought, it is not exactly Smith ) but then we were informed that the table we had been allocated "does in fact not exist, but we have a ledge you could lean against" Insisting, slightfully forcefully that we had not paid all that money to join a club to "lean against a ledge" we were begrudgingly shown to a seat in the basement and told that we could have it for half an hour. How gracious. The decor was meant to be louche New orleans Style. It looked more like the inside of a tart's handbag. The music was described on their blurb as "cool, unobtrusive jazz" I think. It was in fact blaring loud and I am pretty sure that it was "Hats off to Barry Manilow" on the night we were there. A twenty minute wait followed before we were offered and brought two competently made free cocktails. Free food was also on offer which comprised some pretty dodgy looking oysters and a few half decent prawns on a sorry bed of lettuce. Gradually the place began to fill up and we were surrounded by chattering people. All fine, until it dawned on us that they were almost to a person all employees of the Match Bar Group. Now I am not sure if this is just me, but being bumped from a table because the rest of it was full of staff members who had ( I assume ) not paid for membership is a bit arse over tit. If they wanted a place for their staff to hang out, then open a staff canteen, don't have it funded by mug punters. We had one more competent cocktail ( thank the lord for the training methods of Dick Bradsall ) and left. Their was a queue at the door of shiny suited types who were being told " this is a member's bar, but you can come in if you don't mind perching against a ledge" The club had its rules up on the wall by the entrance. No Noise No males to Approach Females etc etc Perhaps, in our case they should have added NO RETURNING 1/10 singularly the worst place I have been to in London for a long time. The point is for the half decent Martini. S

Calabres Both I think the access to "wonderful things" as Canarvon put it, made me appreciate what could be done and to seek out ever better execution of dishes at every level, be it a fry up in a greasy spoon or the most Haute of Haute I also think Robin's Bengali tendency to criticise in a gentle way has made me strive to be a better cook in my own average way S

I am not quite sure that I can join in this love fest, as although my mother is an estimable cook and my father also, I first got the cooking bug from watching the presenters on Blue Peter ( a long running and still running children's programme in the UK ) The first dish I ever made was from their Annual book and it was a scone pizza. it looked like a dog's breakfast and Robin still ate it anyway. That seems to have set the tone for the rest of my life. I remember trying to make my own butter at the age of 5 and lossening one of my milk teeth when I tried to open the container I was shaking. I have to say ( wipes tear away ) that the single biggest influence on my culinary efforts and tastes has been Robin, my older brother. He is richer and has a taste for the very best and the generosity to make sure that others share in his good fortune, so I would visit him as a poor student and be treated to food and wine way beyond my means. He is a superb cook and now when we prepare meals for each other, we strive to outdo each other. So for the last Sunday lunch we had together he made pan fried sweetbreads followed by Kleftiko style lamb. This Sunday I am making my versions of Eyre Bros Mozambique Prawns followed by Porchetta. He is also the most widely read man on food I have ever encountered. He can tell you every local ingredient and drink from just about every country in the world. He has spent six month researching brisket BBQ places for our bonding holiday to Texas and he already probably knows the names of every Maitre' D in New Orleans. Having someone who has been that obsessed with food from such an early age has been at the heart of my determination to eat everything that there is to eat and cook everything that there is to cook. As I told in another thread, when we were kids, he told all us siblings that he was God and we had to refer to him by a special name. A name that becomes increasingly apt as time goes on THE GREAT SALAMI S

Neither, I am assuming. It is strange. I could tell from your posts that wind was a problem. Try Koaline & Morph- Horrid pink stuff from the chemist. Grim, but it works S

A triumph of style over substance. Poncey, overpriced, staff that lack knowledge. I have eaten in there once and it was insipid to say the least and £3.00 for a few tomatoes just because they think people will be fooled into thinking that leaving the vines on them makes a difference is appaling hubris. I also hate the name it is smug and self satisfied ( didn't Ed White call a book this as well?-arse, shame he is such a great writer ) it is like someone calling their biog "pensee" It makes you want to slap somebody Give me Brandisa or Selfridges food hall anyday S

Sorry BLH have to disagree, both on St J's ( wonderful ) and Comptoir ( hell hole ) Reasons 1) Never had less than a great meal at St J's. Often closer to sensational. It is worth its weight in gold to have such a dependable neighbourhood joint 2) Comptoir is the equivalent of a high class hooker. Lots of goods on show, but you just know only rich arabs would want to spend that kind of money. I hate this place and all it stands for almost as much as I hate Le Flaneur around the corner on Farringdon Rd. Sorry, otherwise you are an estimable fellow?

Wasn't Cricklewood where the Goodies were from? Goodie Goodie Yum Yum. S

I can only speak from my experience of GR @ C's and there are posts to the contrary My experience was almost entirely negative ( There is a thread below called " The Biggest flop since Ishtar" which sums up the horrible experience I had there ) On the other hand Steve Plotniki went for lunch and thouroughly enjoyed it. It may well have bedded in by now I think for the money, there are better places and would suggest you keep thinking You may also want to consider Rhodes in The Square where I had an excellent meal in December S

I have eaten at Eyre Bros 6 times. My first meal was very disappointing and I wrote a dismissive review. I think I called it "close but no Cigala" which summed it up. As it was so close, I have been back a few times and it has improved both interms of the food, the wine list and the service. My last meal there was Cocido Mozambique Prawn both were well prepared and spiced The service is no much more able and at £100 for two, it is a good mid level place to try S

Andy Couple of questions 1) What was it that Poole disliked so much about Embassy. I thought the room was a little airport loungeish but that was not too hateful 2) The Orrery - I thought all the gang there had gone to the really rather wretched Almeida? Why is it so "shit hot" in your view Hey! I just got through an entire post to you without pulling you up for your Poole/Harris/Lynes menage a Trois. damn

Steven You ask to see a list of what we consider good and bad critics to see if it at all relates to their journalistic integrity. Here goes just with a few from the UK Mascheler and Meades ( with the exception of his weak spot for MPW ) maintain objectivity and I "trust" their reviews ( an emotive term, I grant you, but in the end trust is what criticism is all about ) I would actively go there if they said it was OK-good Nick Foulkes and AA Gill wear their subjectivity as a badge of pride and so must perish in the first burst of fire. Foulkes, for example, shamelessly shilled Trois Garcon, quite the worst restaurant to open in London in years ( thankfully it was announced that it has closed last week ) because it was run by friends of his from The City. I know numerous people who went there based on his review and suffered an horrendous evening. Thereby hangs the whole problem. No one is denying that a) A food writer is not bound to make friendships or relationships in the industry on which they report. That would be a nonsense to suggest. I think a huge proportion of the people I know are in the Book trade and I am sure Steve P could say the same about the music business. b) You get more information by knowing people and having a close relationship with them. What matters is how you use that information. If you were to write ( you may have already done so ) a piece about your time with Collichio then not only would that be fine, I am sure it would be hugely entertaining. If on the other hand you told us that Gotham ( right person?) was the most wonderful restaurant on earth and we would all be saps, suckers and ne'er do wells if we didn't go there, just because Tom was nice to you, then that would be unforgivable No one is suggesting for a second that writers should exist in a vacuum, but they need to declare their interests so their readers can make an informed decision. Finally, I guess it is down to the quality of the journalist. Someone made a distinction between being a "writer" and a "journalist" The restaurant critic trade seems increasingly ( in the UK anyway ) to be taken off the dedicated food writer/critic and give to some know nothing hack who has been writing fluff pieces for the paper's colour supplement. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you India Knight. The point about advertising revenue is well made. See my point about the UK magazine that will never give certain acts less than 4* because their record companies spend so much advertising with them S

The Viet Ho gets a mixed crit. It is always packed and the prices are reasonable. They do some things very well like Summer Rolls which are always fresh because of their turnover, and also sugar cane prawns. Some things are not as good as the Green papaya ( Mare St ) which does much better deep fried talapia. Their Pho's are OK, no more. No spicy enough for my liking. A meal for two ( depending on how greedy you are ) is c£30-40 inc service. S

I am a great fan of The Hunan and the much loved Mr Peng. hell it is even worth me travelling from the epicentre of London's fashionable EC1 I am lucky in that I have a few walkable joints from my place Eyre Bros The Viet Ho Green papaya St Johns tend to be the most visited. None quite as much "fun" as the Hunan, though

Actually I know that Maggie is knocking on herself, so what is it they say about "people in glass houses" Matthew, I have to disagree the cocktails at SOS amongst the very worst I have had anywhere in the world. I really can't see the point in having all those bottles behind the bar when most of the staff can't even open a bottle of beer. Depressingly common in NY and London The middle floor of SOS is a hell hole and people put up with it because it is cheaper. The top floor while being hideously expensive at least lets you get away from the floppy fringed nitwits who populate the middle and ground floors. When I go up there I feel like the Omega Man. if only I had his guns S

There remains competition between us. Many a time and oft on the rialto I have spurned my father for stealing that extra crispy skin you get at the base of the bird or for denying me the crispy fat off a side of beef. In our house it was strongest survives and that remains to this day. That is not to say that we are not extremely close, but family is only family while food endures S

I reckon if one has met the person at least once in a dining situation then they should be prepared for what is to come. Anyone who is just poking at their food while I am licking the willow pattern off my plate makes their portion fair game. As for tastes, my receptors, such as are left after years of baiting God's good chillie, work pretty speedily. S

The e.g of AA GILL adds a third criteria. Activity. Gill can write, not knowledgably, but he can write. He is however a lazy bugger and most of his reviews seem to be about five minutes walk from his house on the King's Road or where he has dragged his bit of tottie for a weekend. Surely for a critic to be anygood, he has to get out of his usual circle if only occasionaly? S

I think the size of ones family and their obsession with food has a direct link to how fast one eats My family was/is six strong ( two parents, four siblings ) all of us were obsessed on what was on the other's plates. Fights ( and I am talking about the sort of fights only a family can have ) were started over who had taken more of the pork crackling or who had taken the Parson's Nose ( the rarest of treats ) Heaven forfend that you were slow to the table as the oldest ( the other wise estimable Robin ) would have taken it upon himself to redistribute the food according to the Majumdar family hierarchy ( withimself as God - he declared that we all refer to him as " The Great Salami" and worship him on our knees when our parents went out for an evening) this usually meant a towering plate of whatever for him and a measly scrap for us. He would assure us that our parents had divided it this way because " they love me more than they love you" I soon learned to be first at the table, to stand by my father when he carved, to crave "treats" from my mother and to finish my plateful first so I could return for more. over the years it has become a challeng and Robin and I still argue over things like chicken skin or the number of ribs on a sheet ( he is by the way 43 and I am 38 - so you never grow out of these things ) At home things are still the same and my ex-wife once said that the Majumdar way of saying " I love you" was " Will you be wanting that potato" I believe that the best way to speed up a slow dining companion is to take food off their plate. They soon learn the laws of the jungle or perish, as they should S

John Unfortunately your take on the "fine" end of the restaurant scene is no longer apt This too is run by accountants and just as a record company and indeed, even in my own business, a book company, have to "shift units" so a restaurant has to have "bums on seats" unless you are a smaller operation like say, Basildogs bistro in cornwall, you are constantly at the whims of your backers to show profit per square foot and table turn. Now, while I understand this is a necessity of modern life, I think it does mean that reviews become part of the marketing mix for any new restaurant opening. Some food critics can close a restaurant like Frank Rich could close a show. So, they are feted by short skirted "tits & teeth" bimbos and invited to see the kitchen, meet the chef, have a special pre-opening meal etc etc. All of these compromise their final view. Finally, on another note. has anyone noticed how awful Meades looks these days? I wonder since he left the Times if he is not getting all those free meals at MPW places. I saw him at Borough on saturday last and he looked positively emaciated. Such a shame as he was the archetypical "fatty"critic S

Having tried all the restaurants mentioned only once, I would rate in the following order 1) Petrus 2) GR @ RHR ( the real deal compared to the dire Claridges - but I just hate their sitting policy ) 3) Captial - see thread 4) The Square - I found this Ok but ordinary comapred to any of the above S