Simon Majumdar

They may well mistake you for Jay Rayner if you turn up in turn ups. Apart from the fact you are much slimmer than he appeared in the OFM picture.

Lovely, Lovely writing A great post Ms S

It was my supper last night. Cobbled together at the last minute and very tasty it was too S

As well as the excellent bibimbap recipe, why not try some Indian dishes. once you have the basic spices, there are countless permutations of what you can prepare for almost nothing last night I made a dhal from red lentils, half an onion and spices ( I figure that costs about 50p to make for two people ) A Vegetable curry using cauliflower, green beans and spinach ( cost about £1 for two people ) The most expensive thing I made was a garden pea and minced lamb dish which would have been about £2 for two people ) Nutritious and very good for eating well on a budget Check out the India thread. Suvir has put some amazing recipes on there S

Of all of them, Gavroche is definitely the one I would choose S

I have supported Rotherham United for nearly 35 yrs. I can take such sporting humiliation as a matter of some normality But do let's start a thread about Rayner's turn ups. S

Strange with you I find it hard to associate with the words "able to fit through a door without stripping naked and slathering himself in grease" Funny how these associations work isn't it Who's starting The Ashes thread? Wilfrid? S

I am well aware of the fact you smug wazzock, but the detrimental result on my regimen of almost biblical abstinence from carbs is balanced by the fact that every bar I have is one that Adam doesn't. I am carb controlled, not carb free 122 bars and counting Adam S

USAGE Andy Lynes' jacket is naff G Johnson's smugness is daft Back on thread Fondues are naff and anyone who doesn't think so is daft S

Naff = Vulgar & Common Daft = Stupid to the point of being surreal I am sure there is a smug scientific bastard out there who can give us the OED definition S

Simon,I thought that since you were organizing the egullet dinner at The Sutton Arms on 12th December that you would want to be there,no? Or have I got the date wrong? oops meant 13th for Tante Claire S

12th December - No problem S

That would very much be the Chick's version screenplay coutesy of Nora Ephron. In the Joe Mctiernan ( Sp?) version it develops more like this 1) I eat all of the Violet Crumbles ( now at 124 and counting down rapidly - so many I am throwing some away from sheer spite ) and pm you on a daily basis with the declining count 2) You hitch down to London from Scotland to have it out with me ( this bit would be an homage, if you will, to David Lynch's tender meister work, A Straight Story ) I see you making a good part of the trip on the back of a pig waggon. 3) We have a "Ned Kelly" style shoot out on Upper st. You in black, me in white, natch. I die tragically from a sneaky shot you put in my back when I turn to kiss the woman I love for luck. 4) you are at my graveside etc etc ( very poetic ) and I rise from the grave Carrie like and bite you in the ass. The red balloon can stay though and there should probably be a creepy dwarf somewhere ( or one that is distinguishable from me ) S

Keep eating them Smiler, maybe you will choke. Bet you a fiver that England has just peaked for the test. But what a way to go As it is Friday, I am going to have another with a nice cup of tea and a side order of Violet Crumble. Let's make it interesting. I will ( in blind optimism rather than any logic ) offer £10 in a crisp note to your fave charity if the Convicts retain the ashes ( not even win the series ) you can do the same in England win. OK? I know I am on a loser you should just tell me where the "ex-pat ocker academic crippled by emotional insecurities" society hangs out S

Actually, it was so good I am now having another Didn't the england Team do rather well today? knocking the convicts last 8 for a little over a ton, a bit of a collapse, I would call that. And 150 odd for 1 is not a bad start. S

Are we talking about fondues or 1970's wife swapping here? I'd rather not know what you do with melted cheese behind closed doors Simon Horrible thought it would just be some poor birds luck to go to a Wife Swapping party looking for some hot action and to find she is hooked up with me, keys to my Austin Princess in one hand and a threatening slice of Jarlsberg in the other. S

I'm with Steve on this. Naff however they have tried to pepp them up, Fondues still are a nasty remnant of the 70's "Abigail's Party" style. Modern attempts to re-invent them are just trying to sucker in people who were too young to have been exposed to the horrors in the first place. My Assistant loves them but then she is young enough to say that Spinal Tap is her father's favourite film ( sigh! ) I have been to two dinners recently where the host got all retro on my behind an made fondue. While I forced down the gungy gooey mess with a smile, I was dying on the inside. Quite grim Rule of cooking No386 - few things are better melted S

The good people who own the Blue Elephant, a very famous, but not that great Thai place in London, also own ( I think it is them anyway ) a French/Indian place near Marble Arch called Les Portes Des Indes. The food is quite good although the costs are prohibitive and the atmosphere a little stilted. I am fascinated by the origins of this hybrid. S

I have approximately 128 Violet Crumble bars in my desk drawers right now and you aint having any of them I am opening one of them right now I am now biting of a chunk of that crunch goodness with God's good crumble inside SOOOOO very good. Almost too good. If only you could share the experience But you can't can you? S

The aussies are capable of many hideous things, but I must also put in a good word for the aforementioned ( on the candy bar thread ) Violet Crumble. I have an Australian distributor who regularly sends me care packages filled with these wonderful items like a Crunchie bar but soo much nicer. As for Tim Tam's suck is the correct word S

I am concerned by many of the newer books. invention is one thing, but so many of the new breed of Indian Chefs are "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" in an attempt to be modern. This has led to places that IMHO are a disgrace to the genre, TABLA being the main culprit. Where Indian Chefs such as Rajeev Mohammed, the rather camp chef who present Dheli Belly on the UK Food Network, are concerned, I am much more sanguine. He has a real passion for the food and its roots and is concerned to learn the basics before working with them for a modern audience ( making them lighter etc ) I am also less fond of MJ as a root of all things. She is held up as almost the Escoffier of indian food and while she has achieved much in the promulgation of the wonders of Indian Food, she IMO does it without any dexterity or authenticity S

For one who sae he haf fairy at the bottom of his garden. U ask an owful lot of kwestions I am told and B'dog may tell me this is total bollocks that putting them in boiling water is a shock to the system and tightens up the meat. There is no way of knowing how cruel it is. However, esteemed fish merchant told me that by placing them in cold water which you gently bring to a boil, you just send them up the wooden stairs to bedfordshire and by the time the water reaches a boil they are dead. I have heard this, since being told, from a few other sources ( including watching an old Robert Carrier programme in which he said this was by far the kindest method, but he preferred to cut them up while alive. Who knows? S

it doesn't. Bringing to the boil does!! FULE S

It is better if you keep them alive, but that may not be practical in which case I would kill them and boil. The keep them refridgerated in shell until you are ready to prep. Do not drop them into boiling water. Apart from anything else, the estimable Steve Hatt tells me that toughens the meat. Place them in cold water which you bring to the boil. This basically sends the lobsters to sleep before the water begins to boil. When they wake up they are dead If you want to kill with a knife, I have always used a sharp point from a Chefs knife placed on the head and given it one hard tap through the skull. I am told death is instantaneous. hope this helps S

Quite, but the Good Food Guide is not what it once was, and the reason for this is that the current editor spends far too much time being chummy with media chefs and not enough time berating them for taking the piss out of their clients. I couldn't agree more The GFG has become an a bit of a joke hasn't it The marking FWIW seems to be er, "flawed" All guides have their flaws and limits. The GFG just seems more limited than most S