Mayhaw Man

Art, food, porn queens, and blackeyed peas. Something for everybody.

Well I should hope they have a stand in Japan. There is one guy there that could keep them in business, World Champion Hot Dog Eater Takeru Kobyashi can eat a pretty good pile of those delicious franks all by his lonesome.

I had not thought of this story in a while. When we were building Celtic Brewing in Enfield, Co. Meath, Ireland we were just about ready for the start up brewing. As I had designed the whole brewery around a certain yeast (alt yeast-ale yeast that has similar floculation characteristics to lager yeast but a flavor profile like ale yeast) I realized that I was going to need a bunch of it to start the first batch with. Normally this would be no big deal, but I was working in Baja California at the same time and the yeast was supposed to go from Wyeast in Mt. Hood, Oregon to Dublin to Enfield. Yeast comes packed in beer from Hood Brewing (an agreement between Wyeast and Hood River gives him access to clean wort for yeast production) in these cool looking foil bags. They are pretty indestructible, but they have to be kept cool in order to keep fermentation to a minimum, otherwise the co2 sould expand the bag until it popped. I decided that it would be easier to ship the yeast to me in MX and transport it myself to the airport in San Diego and on to Dublin. Simple enough. Unfortunately after a few emails to Ireland I discovered that there are tons of rules about live biologicals entering Ireland and that it would have to sit in quarantine until a lab deemed it ok. This would not do. Time was of the essence and I had to brew with this stuff pretty quickly as the investors were getting antsy to see some action. I packed it into a huge suitcase containing a collapsable ice chest along with 6 small ice packs. I got on the plane in San Diego and flew to Dublin. I used to do this every third week or so and it was no big deal and the nice folks at Delta were used to seeing me so I generally sailed right on through in first class style and comfort. I waltzed into Dublin and started through customs. Whoops. "Excuse me sir, would you mind stepping this way?" To make a long story short, after two hours discussing this with the lads in the customs hut in Dublin, we all decided that what I was actually transporting was beer. They let me go and told me not to bring any more "beer" into their airport as they had plenty of beer already. It was black, and good, and made in Dublin, and why did I think it was important to make more beer anyway? I was very relieved to get out of there that day. I guess naivitee pays off sometimes. THe test brews went off nicely and the yeast performed like a champ. But I never did that again.

Torakris, It may seem funny to the both of us, but the tuna I used is the same stuff (literally) that you could go to that giant fish market in Tokyo and buy in the morning. Almost all of it is shipped out of Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans (if it is deemed worthy by the Japanese guys tha hang around and buy it) and overnighted to Japan. Some beautiful yellow fin comes out of the mouth of the river this time of year. I love making that stuff. It is somehow very satisfying and sho nuff good to eat

Talk o' Texas is the brand that Sam's Wholesale carries in the gallon jars. It is very good, but more dilly than spicy.

Sushi of various sorts made with ingredients fresh from the Gulf. Tuna came off a boat in Venice, LA last night. Crab came out of lake Pontchatrain this morning. It is my oldest birthday and we usually go out for sushi, but he asked me if I would make it for him (I was honored and thrilled, believe me a teenager asking if you would do anything besides give him money is a thrill). I made a ton of rolls (I like sashimi best and ate a bunch, but the boys like rolls and they are filling so I don't mind doing it and I have all the gear as a friend picks it up when his ship is in Japan). Spicy Tuna Rolls Tuna Sashimi Crab and Tuna Dynamite Rolls Spicy Crab Crunchy Roll (I made tempura asparagus so I could have crunchies) Big, Giant Roll with lots of stuff Smoked Salmon from Norway in a roll with avacado and salmon roe I still can't get pictures to load to egullet, so just go to the image station page below if you want to see my work Birthday Meal

Pan, It is pretty common here. There are a number of brands, but Trappey's seems to be the most common. I make it from scratch using a basic dill pickle recipe and add a jalapeno to the jar for a little zip. I really do like it and it is great in bloodies. It is a fun plant to grow as it grows fruit like crazy and you get to pick some everyday. In fact, the stuff grows so fast that if you don't pick it everyday it gets big and tough in no time. The more you pick the more you get it seems, and okra lasts through the hot summer down here pretty well. It will still be producing long after the cukes and toms have gone ten toes up.

And then you have your pickled okra. Mainstay of well stocked holiday relish trays across the South. You will find it in most groceries in the pickle section (better quality stores anyway ). A couple of pods of pickled okra in a well made Bloody Mary will make you go into your ice box and heave all of the celery and pickled green beans into the compost heap. I also often put thinly chopped okra into cornbread (long time readers will remember the exciting and witty repartee between esteemed food writer Joyce White and myself concerning okra, during the course of which she claims: .For cornbread he okra needs to be sliced thinly and put into the cornbread (uncooked) at the rate of about 1/2 cup per recipe of cornbread. It adds a great flavor and is decidedly ungoopy when cooked this way.

Yikes. Sorry about that. Slice okra into 1/2 inch segments (discard tops) Actually, frozen okra will work as will good quality canned tomatoes, but it is not nearly as good. We can usually get it here this time of year fresh, but even if the farmers market does not have it, the chain groceries usually have the fresh stuff from MX (Walmart always does). You asked about small or large. There is NOTHING that yu can do with large okra. It is hard, tough, and cooks about like shoe leather. The smaller pods (less than 4 or 5 inches) are the best.

After that excited intro I will have to be very careful about just how I go about praising this noble pod. I like okra and while I will be the first to admit it is not exactly the Swiss Army knife of vegetables, it can be used in a number of tasty and family impressing recipes (just don't ever cook any if Fifi is coming over, she is immovable in her dislike of okra-Texans just dig in and are kind of hard to deal with sometimes ). My favorite is plain old Okra and Tomatoes (O and T around the M. household). Sautee one medium yellow onion in BACON GREASE When the onions are just starting to go soft throw in 1 lb. of okra and 4 or 5 cloves of garlic (resist yelling BAM! at this point) Add 2 large ripe tomatoes and about 1/2 cup chicken stock Cover and simmer for about twenty minutes. Call your friends and sit down to a delicious okra feast. I will be back later in the program with more exciting recipes from our Long Green Friend, Mr. Okra.

The meal plan for instiutional food at LSU is one of the best institutional bargains in the history of the world. The food (generally) is great for something that comes off of a steam line. It is pretty much regional stuff (Louiaiana obviously, SOuthern in general) and LSU was one of the few schools that I have attended where the majority of students participated in the meal plan. It is the only school I ever attended where graduate students were not constantly hungry

Olives are very acidic.

?????? Presumably he was working for the store and not just some guy dressed as a cow?

I have had great luck with these tools. They are really sharp and hold an edge well. They are also cheap enough to bag when they get dull (which takes a while). They are available at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and Walmart, but this was the best description that I could find to link.

My friend, more famous last words have never been spoken

Kudzu was brought to the Southeast on purpose as a cover crop and as an erosion prevention tool. It has huge amounts of nitrogen in it and was intended as an easy to grow replacement for clover, the traditional nitrogen bearing cover crop for many row crop fariming operations (particularly cotton, which depletes soil like crazy and requires huge amounts of nitrogen and ammonia to grow well). Farmers soon found that it was more trouble than it was worth as kudzu grows too well in the summer time and freezes back to the root at the first killing frost in the winter. Since the whole point of a cover crop is to have something that grows in the wintertime, kudzu was a total failure. All you need to know about the brief and glorious history of Kudzu in the South

This beer (or one very similar to it) has been made in the recent past. It was served for the final dinner at the 98 (I think, it was in Phoenix anyway. Memories of beer conferences tend to be unclear, especially after so many conferences in so many years ) Association of Brewers Conference. It was in huge bottles with straw like devices attached that were designed for communal drinking. I believe that it was brewed at Anchor, but that many brewers were involved in the development of the recipe. I can't find anything in google, but I will go research some old copies of "The New Brewer" and see what I can find. My memory of it is that it was pretty good to drink, although kind of flat and underattenuated (but I think that is what they were going for).

I'll save mine for you, although I suspect that it is under the Homeland Security mailing guidelines as a biological hazard, so getting it to you might prove troublesome.

Tomato Aspic. Yuck I like things jellied as much as the next true southerner and I love jello, which I know many of you jaded gourmands refuse to admit (although I secretly think you hoard a stash of green jello with fruit cocktail for late night dining pleasure). That being said, I hate aspic. Nothing says, "I hate the holidays and am ready to get the hell out of here" than a lonely square of jellied tomatoes on a piece of iceberg lettuce. My mother can cook better than virtually any home cook I have ever known and is able to do just about anything she pleases in the kitchen, but she INSISTS on having this stuff at almost every holiday meal and many Sunday lunches as well. Yuck. Bleeghhh. Ack. Gag.

Have you ever noticed how you don't see kudzu in the deep woods, but only on the roadsides? This is because animals (deer in particular, along with cows grazing in pastures) love the stuff. Asian pharmacists also dry and powder it and put it into tea or capsule form as a "cure" for alcoholics, as it apparently dulls the want for alcohol. I googled on this fascinating subject and found that if any of you have any alcoholic hamsters, this might be the stuff to save them from the road to ruin and put them back on the path to helping the little rodents back onto the path to rightousness.

Squirrels-You bet. Tasty little critters and fund to hunt. Bring 'em on Coons- I don't, but there are people that seem to like them Skunks-No one I have ever heard of eats skunks. I am sure it has happened to some starving denizen of the rural south, but it is not common. Yuck. I suppose I would eat dog if I had the opportunity, but I don't think I would seek any out for dining purposes. As I write this I have a goofy yellow lab sleeping at my feet and I am afraid I would picture him as I was preparing to clean my plate. I certainly understand that in cultures where a certain animal is not a domestic pet that it could be considered a foodstuff and I support their right to treat dogs as such, but I don't think that dog is something that I will ever actively seek out.

Today's food section in the Picayune is a bit thin, but there is one excellent piece by Marcelle Bienvenue about her love of oysters and the article includes a few interesting recipes. Read about slurping salty oysters here There is also an article by Barbara Hansen of the LA Times on the uses of the poblano chile. There are several recipes including one on the making of poblano crema. Chile News This is an article from the archives of the Picayune concerning the production of headcheese and it includes a recipe that YOU can make at home. Many of you are enthusiastic cooks and like try new things. Just think how impressed your friends and family will be when you whip out this tasty treat! Head Cheese Heaven is on the German Coast above New Orleans There is an article on the front of the business section concerning the current situation at New Orleans 24 hour breafast landmark, Camellia Grill. They are battling with creditors who don't seem willing to trade for vanilla cokes and spanish omelettes. Camellia Grill is having trouble paying the bills

It is not just in Oklahoma and it goes by various names, noodling, grabbling, and a couple of others. I have done it. ONCE. It hurts to grab one of those things in the face and it is not particular comforting to stick your hands into the mud and goop when you can't see what you are grabbing. This is one redneck pastime that I can take a pass on. It is kind of fun to watch though

I am afraid that the ceramic ones have pretty much gone the way of glass beads, but if you would like I can mail you a bag (100 per bag, they are really cheap, I will get you a price) or two if you pm me with mailing info. I need to go to Mardi Gras World this week to pick up a supply of rubber roaches, as I am running low on that important comedy prop. Mrs. Mayhaw once constructed an entire outfit of king cake babies applied to mesh (we were younger and more attractive then, now we are just older but still quite attractive -or at least she is. I am just old). It was fun poking hot needles through those hundreds of little dolls If you look my photo on my info page you will see a baby or two on my suit from last year (I make a new one every year). There are some resources on the web,, but they are pretty incomplete as far as their catalogs go. Just google on Mardi Gras Throws.

Where's the beef? I'm mad for cows.