Smollensky's Wapping

[Tonyfinch]

Walked past the Gaucho Grill at Canary Wharf the other day. I haven't eaten in one of these but I noticed on the menu that they charge extra for a sauce of your choice with the steak-£2 for bernaise,or mustard sauce or whatever.

This seems to me as mean a piece of penny pinching as I've seen in a restaurant for quite a while. Why do it? It would be better psychology to charge a bit more and include the ruddy sauce. As it is I'm resolved never to go there on principle.

[StephenT]

It would be better psychology to charge a bit more and include the ruddy sauce. As it is I'm resolved never to go there on principle.

Maybe they did that but had too many "real men" going there and saying "I don't want no stinkin' sauce with my steak" and wanting a discount.

[peterpumkino]

Tony, I'm sure your a very balanced and intelligent guy but, once again, you are making comments based purely on what you think and not the reality of the situation. Yes, I'm sure YOU would pay £2.00 extra with sauce and in a perfect World this should be. Unfortunately it's not a perfect World and many people are very cheap (not just economically but emotionally - I'm in the tour business and I've seen some unbelievable things!) and, as a restaurant has to survive (otherwise they would not be there for you to say anything) it has to do what it has to do as there are not many Tony Finches around to keep them in business.

You wouldn't believe the 'helpful suggestions' I get from clients telling me how a hotel should be run, how a hotel should be run, how an airline should be run - always based on 'their opinion' with no thought to economics and market-share.

People are always saying 'oh, why don't they inclde that in the price, we would pay extra'. No they won't! It's been proved time and time again that most people get a few prices and take the cheapest - end of story.

And would you really pay the extra or complain that the restaurants too pricey and not even bother to go there?

[Tonyfinch]

I would NOT pay the £2. My point is that £2 represents a monstrous rip off for the amount of sauce you're going to get on your plate. Even if the sauces are made in the restaurant and not bought in in bulk(highly doubtful) it must still constitute an outrageous mark up.

I know of no other restaurant,or even restaurant chain which charges a separate price for adding a sauce to your meal. Hamburger joints which ask if you want Thousand Island, Blue Cheese etc. on your salad have costed it in so that you "feel" you're getting it for free.Even in the most basic caffs no extra charge is made for servings of ketchup,

brown sauce,mustard etc.

The Gaucho Grill has got this seriously wrong.The trick would be to factor in a price rise of ,say, 75p and ask people if they WANT a sauce with their steak. Those who say no won't care about the 75p and those who say yes will think they're getting something for nothing.The restaurant "sells" more sauce,makes more money and retains goodwill.Everybody wins.

Easy.

[Gary Marshall]

from memory gaucho grill is the sort of place that looks reasonably priced but the devil is in the detail, a few side dishes, sauces and suddenly it's not as good value as it looks.

food was ok, in a chez gerrardy type of way.

if it makes you feel better tony this charging method hasn't helped them much, they were spectacularly unsuccessful as a plc (gioma restaurants) think management took it private in the end after repeated profit warnings!

[John Whiting]

I've read about Berne's somewhere. Oddly, there's nothing I can find on the Web. It seems to be a rare example of a man pursuing his idiosyncratic compulsion without the slightest compromise and making it pay off. With such a cellar, I wouldn't be surprised if the restaurant paid for the wine list rather than the other way around.

[mogsob]

Peter -- Why the venom?

Contrary to your post, I do value a complete dining experience, just not in a steakhouse. There is only one measure of a great steakhouse and that is the quality of the beef and the correctness of the cooking. Nothing else matters. Don't like the salad? Eat more steak? Don't like the sides? Eat more steak? Dessert???? You obviously did not eat enough steak.

That said, a great steakhouse must feature all of the following: (1) prime beef cooked on the bone -- porterhouse, T-Bone, Rib, bone-in-shell etc.; (2) beef aged correctly to the cut; (3) proper cooking technique to deliver a true black and blue.

Time after time, Luger's delivers on all three. No other steakhouse I have ever been to has done even close to that, including Berne's which sent out a poor cut of beef at medium rare.

Simon, thanks for the suggestions! I am hoping that I will be just as amazed as I was at Hunan, to which I am still grateful.

BTW, Peter -- read the below as it no doubt applies here.

[circeplum]

in today's standard (thur 15) charles campion is recommending steak places:

la pampa (battersea)

top floor at smith's

popeseye

and

chez gerard.

hmmmm

tony - as a wapping resident, have you tried 'wapping food'? what do you think?

[Tonyfinch]

Circeplum, Wapping Food is 20 yards from me so I've eaten there numerous times.I have to say that this is now mainly out of convenience as it was always a bit hit and miss but recently has been far more miss than hit,with lots of the food being way too salty and carelessly prepared and presented.

It struggles to decide whether it's a restaurant with an Arts dimension or vice versa. At times we've been subjected to ludicrous "post modern" performance art in the middle of the meal and diners have been told to be quiet if they don't show the requisite degree of respect.

Its a (sort of)interesting building and worth seeing if you're down Wapping way. Its also got a good all Aussie wine list. I've never had a steak there,though its often on the menu.

[Miss J]

At times we've been subjected to ludicrous "post modern" performance art in the middle of the meal and diners have been told to be quiet if they don't show the requisite degree of respect.

Tony, please elaborate. I haven't been subjected that that particular experience.

I agree with your assessment of the food, and I also find the service a bit slipshod. The last time I went our waiter was a tall, attractive, languid Aussie bloke who couldn't seem to hold more than two orders in his head at a time.

[circeplum]

tony - thanks for that. i, too, am agog about the performance art.

miss j - clearly that favourite london restaurant ploy of employ-'em-cos-they're-cute. who cares if they know the business? the hideous asia de cuba represents its apogee ...

[Matthew Grant]

Went to Wapping food on Sunday for the first time, didn't partake of the food, had a reasonable coffee, brunch menu was very limited and looked quite pricey for items such as pancakes and eggs benedict (can't remeber exact pricing but most dishes in the £7 - 8 pound bracket. Marmalade on toast £2.50!

However, one thing to recommend it at the moment is the fantastic Magnum photographers September 11th exhibition. Make sure you see the film shown every 30 minutes and don't complain that the sound is broken - its meant to be like that (I think/hope ).

Huge photographs, brilliantly lit (the darkenss adds to the atmostphere in my opinion) and all for free.

[Wilfrid]

I was lured into this thread only by the brutal bathos of its title. What a double whammy*. The tawdry, party's over, mock-celebratory fart of the word "Smollensky's", holding all the promise of a 3a.m. lap dance at La Cappanina, followed immediately by the grim, impoverished, doom-laden crump of the word "Wapping". If I had five minutes, I'd write a brilliantly wry novel with that title.

Any advance available, Simon?

* A voodoo curse, as any fule kno; forget Chris Patten.

[Gavin Jones]

Wilfrid, you have just reminded me of the fictional character I am. Click...

[Tonyfinch]

Wilfrid,the word Wapping comes from an Anglo Saxon chief Waeppa who settled his crew round here.It is also the origin of the word "whopper" referring to the bloatedness of the bodies that were constantly being fished out of the Thames round here (people made a good living doing this)

So the next time you're in Burger King and you order a Double Cheese and Bacon Whopper-you'll know where the word comes from.

[Tonyfinch]

As for the performance art. On one occasion the lights dimmed, 'orrible squeaky plinky plonk music was put on and a ghastly looking woman, supposedly naked but for a huge brown fur coat,scurried up and down the staircases, appearing startled at the windows and threatening to jump.

This was watched respectfully but when the whole thing was repeated about an hour later the drink had obviously kicked in and people were urging her to "jump" and "be quick about it", much to the disapproval to the stone faced, chain smoking harridan who appears to be in charge of this place (although who's actually in charge of the restaurant part is difficult to tell-one of its problems).

On another occasion the same woman actually asked us all to be quiet and had clearly decided it was a good idea in the middle of dinner to subject us to some twat blowing into 5 musical instruments simultaneously and making a f--k of a racket FOR 50 MINUTES!! (I timed it). Even the staff looked embarrased.

I don't know whether their policy has changed as the last couple of times I've been I 've asked if we're going to be allowed to actually converse throughout our meal and been told that there is "no performance" but if you feel like me and you're thinking of going there I would definitely check.

[John Whiting]

So the next time you're in Burger King and you order a Double Cheese and Bacon Whopper-you'll know where the word comes from.

Not to mention the protein . . .

[Wilfrid]

supposedly naked

Disappointing.

[peterpumkino]

Tony,

Easy?

ok can I have a booking at your highly successful restaurant please.

[peterpumkino]

John,

Your 100% right. And that is what makes this place magic, not just the quality of steak.

Mogsob,

First of all there's no venom. secondly I do accept you had a bad meal at Bernes (everybody can have a bad night) and thirdly you are still missing the point that I was trying to make but....ho....hum

[Thomas Secor]

At the risk of rekindling the acrimonious discussion above, I thought I would note that the debate regarding Berns may live on, but the subject has not.

Obit