Ballast

[Simon Majumdar]

If you were in a sinking balloon with Emeril, Jamie Oliver or Bobby Flay, which of them would you throw out of the balloon first?  Emeril's girth should not count against him, this is based on low hatred only.

S

[bourdain]

I'd have to go with Bobby. For the sheer surprise factor.--he'd have to be first.  As he is the most physically fit of the bunch. Best to whack him when he's not looking--from behind--as he's probably stronger than me and in better shape--and I don't want a paranoid, potentially dangerous Flay--in a highly alert state of agitation, looking at my scrawny ass--and thinking about throwing me off the damn thing...  Emeril is good weight value--I agree. But I think I could get him off the baloon any time.  Jamie stays. I can always trade him for cigarettes or comissary later.