TDG: Xenofoodia

[bloviatrix]

It seems that my mil bought a bunch of chicken breasts on sale yesterday. She was thinking of freezing them, but Blovie was trying to convince her to cook with them right away. Blovie's side of the conversation went something like this:

Blovie: It's called cauliflower and chicken curry.

B: I promise, you'll like it. It's good.

B: Do have cumin seed? And curry powder?

B: It's got an earthy flavor. They use it a lot in sephardic cooking.

B: You have curry powder and no cumin seed? How old is the curry powder?

The conversation went on like that for awhile. And she had a comment for every step of the recipe. I have a strong feeling my mil hung up the phone convinced her son was nuts and is trying to poison her.

[wesza]

Funny stuff about grinding horseradish, Irwin. These were my favorite lines:

The Mariach actually smiled at my distress, as if it was a coming of age. Maybe it was, since i've never Ground Horseradish ever again.

I make fresh horseradish every Passover, only I do it in the food processor (first shred, the chop) instead of a grinder. The effect is the same. In fact, I've taken to wearing ski goggles while preparing it. Taking the top off the processor is akin to setting off a tear gas bomb in the kitchen. I've had my cats sit up on their haunches, take a sniff skyward and BOLT up the stairs like banshees when I'm playing with the Evil Root.

But if it doesn't make you cry it ain't worth a damn, I say!

Yeah, food should hurt sometimes. Try doing Red Savina habaneros in the blender.

Just a hint: A touch of vinegar in the mix intensifies the atmospheric sneezles. Warm it up, and it's even more fun. Do it in a crowded kitchen, and go for distance!

Erik:

You are a strange and demented man. I think I like that about you...

Atmospheric sneezles??? Now there's a turn of phrase!

I have heated up dried ancho chiles in a dry pan to toast them a bit and then covered and poached them in sherry vinegar. That'll clear the kitchen pretty quick too! And make you cough like you've been in a neurotoxic gas attack.

What would you classify me as since i'd try the same thing with "Scotch Bonnets".

That would really be a tear jerker.

Use a Olive Oil to really bring out the Heat and the Chili Oils.

Then when they surface add a little vinegar [just enough to temper the heat].

Cover the Top tightly and after the fumes settle they will be absorbed into the oil to make a powerfull codiment.

Some day i'll publish the recipe for the 10 Star Sauce labled "Sudden Death" that my staff drew with a Skull and Crossbones.

The Artist is now one of Hawaii's top Chefs.

Irwin

Watch the skull and crossbones; the nastier the name, the more weenificicatious the sauce. Don't believe me? Check out the Mo'Hotta Mo'Betta' ouevre and see if a nasty name don't indicate a sissy sauce. That's why our secret, request-only Red Savina sauce is called "Happy Flavor Sauce." And for the record, Scotch Bonnets are nothing but unripe habaneros. They taste good, they work well with that poor old British-influenced Jamaican cuisine, but they are a poor relation to the real thing.

QuinaQuen:

Just to put the hotness in perspective.

Scotch Bonnets Chili's have attained the highest level ratings in the Capsiucum Level on every test conducted since the testing process has been performed. Up to now there has been no Chili Tested that comes close to the heat levels.

The Restaurant where we evolved the "Sudden Death" sauce was not a merchandising gimmick this was done by my employees as a WARNING for anyone one handling the stuff who wasn't carefull. It was capable of blistering your lip's and tonque while just tasting the sauce. Since the taste was evolved thru many ingredients also very spicy in addition to Chilli's it was always used to enhance or bring out character in various dishes, never by itself.

We served at heat levels of one star, three star [tabasco sauce level], five star, eight star and ten star. The hottest service was using about 50% of the "sudden death".

We were possibly the first Restaurant serving authentic Portugese, Spanish, South American, Carribean, African with Goan, Malay and Macau items as well on our Menu We had customers from all over the World who would send us Chilli's and Spices.

The Hot Sauces evolved after actually growing, aging, procuring the Chilis and other spices during a 8 year period where we learned how to ferment, dry, age and bring out the most flavor from all the ingredients At various times we were fooling around with over 50 varieties. The most flavorful were from Indonesia, Yucatan, Vietnam, Phillipines and Hawaii where we were assisted by interested Professors and students from the Agriculture Department.

Our most successfull sauces were those that we thought of as being Sneaky. It would take quite a while after eating and enjoying the complex tastes and flavors before it hit you. Your eyes would begin to tear, your nose start to run and you'd begin to Grin. Then you'd sigh, smile and eat some more.

The first time a customer wished to enjoy something hot we would never serve anything hotter then five stars. If they enjoyed that we'd be willing to go higher next time. Our Hot Sauces were never served as a dip, or add on the side like pepper or tabasco they were only served when included into the total finished dish.

Hope that helps clearify the Skull and Crossbones Warning Label.

Irwin

[Gifted Gourmet]

Amen, Amen, AMEN, my friend! 

Those silly "hotter-than-hot" hot-sauce shoppes in places like New Orleans are nothing but tourist traps for the camera-clicking crowd who want the folks back home to believe that the quality of Cajun/Creole rises in tandem with its heat quotient.

The real intensity of hot sauce is a little like the locker-room prating about sexual prolificacy:  Those who boast the loudest rarely get it.  Those who keep it to themselves do not have to boast; they are the real lotharios.

. . . and no, that is NOT written in the Talmud . . . I think.

This is truly quite cleverly constructed: the way you are able to tie the two together, while at the precise same time, make a cogent argument for avoiding ersatz, touristy hot sauces and equally overblown, overheated locker room chatter ...

Rabbi Ribeye, no one does it better than you!! and I mean it when I say no one!!

Now, back to the heat of the charain ...

[kpurvis]

By the way: Is this the same Marc Wilson who used to live and sometimes write in Charlotte?