I am an abject failure, the shame of the kitchen. I should be thrown ignominiously out of this esteemed community.
I can't make fish cakes to save my life. I've tried every recipe known to man or woman. I've changed the potato fish ratio. I've had them dry. less dry, not dry at all.
The thing is that they taste just fine, but they refuse point blank to maintain anything resembling cake shape or appearance. I've fried them and baked them. Cakiness eludes me.
I can single-handedly cook a complex twenty dish banquet when called upon so to do, but a single respectable fish cake? Forget it!
But I persevere. Today was yet another disaster. Again, great taste, but...
Worst of all, when I had shaped the cakes and came to coating them, the breadcrumb container which I am sure was half full had somehow emptied itself when I wasn't looking. I wasn't running out in the torrential rain we are having for more, so I was left with nude cakes.
True to form, the first three disintegrated in the frying process so I ended up with fried mash with salmon (poached in simple water with a little Vietnamese fish sauce), chilli and coriander. Delicious but not fit to illustrate a family cooking forum such as this. Hardcore nastiness.
I did end up with enough for one more try. I pressed it firmly into shape and very carefully and slowly fried it. It obviously lacks breadcrumbs and could have taken a bit more of a sear, but to my eternal humiliation, this is the best attempt I have managed in decades of trying.
More sensitive souls may wish to avert their eyes.
The accompanying salad was beautiful, but I was too depressed to take its picture.