meat+fire

Barrier cream. It is like a lotion but dries to form a protective film on your skin that gives the protection of a glove without the floppy nonsense of a glove. It is used in industrial settings as protection from acetone and other nasties. It comes in a variety of solvent formulas (ie - the liquid that you use to remove it) For normal kitchen use the alcohol based variety is good unless you work with a lot of booze etc. Industrial safety supply houses stock the stuff. It will save your hands.

Had a new expediter who was busting everyone's chops so one of the grill chefs asked her to come over to pick up a special plate for one of the tables. He was standing in front of a cutting board with his checks unzipped an a turkey neck inserted and resting on the board. As she came around the corner he cut the neck in two with a loud resounding chop with a cleaver. She passed out cold on the floor. After she came to, she left the restaurant and never came back. Mission accomplished.

I too live and dine in a small town. I have also watched bad restaurants come and go, hoping against all reason that they might actually some day get it. I am now of the opinion that a quick death is to be preferred. Hold a nice wake and hope the next contestant might know how to cook and or serve. Criticism is for a less than good reduction of the demi, not how to avoid turning my meal into charcoal. Translate the parade of horrors you described to any other profession and you wouldn't be talking "how do I give them gentle and loving criticism" it would be more like who wants to call the cops first or where the hell are the state/federal regulators? Those are clear indications that those people should not be allowed into a restaurant - not even to eat.

Pyrat, Lamb's Navy, Mount Gay Extra Old and Starr African Rum (Mauritius)are three that spring to mind. They only need a clean glass and you are good to go.