Obviously this was mishandled. Badly. BUT, what strikes me as out of bounds is calling out members of staff by name, taking it down to a very personal level about who was there, who was not, who left, who was travelling etc... I'm surprised you didn't name the server who commented on the strong flavor! I too have a strong relationship with a very high end restaurant, and although I know 80% of the staff by name, I would NEVER make individual reference to any of them. The Chef's name is on the door, it's ALL his fault - no need to throw others under the bus, that's not your job - it's his. In short, I think there are tasteful ways to mention your issues, but I don't think you took that route. Was it wrong of the chef to berate you? 110%. 120%! But when you chose to take it to such a personal level against his staff, I'm guessing he takes it personal as well.