Cusina
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Posts posted by Cusina
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By teaching a set or rules that are presented as inviolate and universal, one may be well on the way of making a child intolerant of other cultures and less fit to expand his own horizons by traveling. My child, who's now raising her child, was always encouraged to ask "why?" and only rarely, in emergency situations, required to accept "because that's what we say" as an answer. She was taught few rules, but she was taught to consider how what she was doing at any time might affect others.
auntdot and Maggie, thanks for sharing your great stories!
Bux, you have come close to touching on the heart of my original question. How strict is too strict?
While I definitely want my childrens' company to be enjoyed by others and I do recognize that having good manners oils the wheels of life, I also think it is important for our long term relationship that my children respect me as a parent because I want good things for them in their lives, not because I am a dictator. I think I agree with your assertion that not only do kids need to know the how of good table manners, they also need to understand the why, the courtesy and respect that is the impetus for the rules. And also, as they grow, they need to develop an understanding that different cultures interpret and show that courtesy in different ways. If you as a parent ensure that level of understanding is reached by your children then it is impossible to be too strict.
Whew, parenting is complicated.
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Mayhaw, that brought a tear to my eye, I'm telling you. Glad you all seem to think I'm on the right track. Sometimes I wonder if I might be hounding my kids too much and that it isn't worth the effort, but I see from the stories of those who are a few years ahead of me in the parent game that it is.
The no whining thing stems from my years as a girl scout resident camp counselor. Some of the things served there were, uh, less than appealing, especially visually. But after a full day of rustic camping with a dozen 10 year olds, damn you were hungry and would eat just about anything. I was a good counselor, enjoyed the job and the girls liked me, but if you wanted to sit with me at a meal, you had better keep your negative views about what I was eating to yourself. I was very strict about that (I have a seriously hairy eyeball when necessary, runs down my Dad's side of the family) and, honestly, I think that the kids liked that I insisted the conversation be positive. Much more fun that way.
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I know there have been similar threads, but I think this is worth re-visiting. I'm raising two children, four and six, and am wondering what you think are appropriate table manners for kids.
Common courtesy is obvious: no blowing bubbles in your milk, flinging peas, talking with your mouth full, or shoving your sister into the sweet potatoes. (not that that would EVER happen, of course
)At our table I try hard to enforce the don't eat till everyone is served rule, the sit reasonably still and engage in the conversation rule, to say please and thank you when necessary, and a polite "may I be excused" when they are finished. They also take their dishes to the kitchen. The excused rule in our house extends a bit beyond the normal. Once you are excused there is no coming back and absolutely no interrupting the folks who are left at the table. The dining room is off limits until the meal is cleared.
The other rule that I'm very firm with is NO WHINING. Drives me right up a tree when I have spent an hour on dinner to get the "oh MOM this has green stuff in it, yuck" treatment. A polite no thank you is all that is tolerated.
Now, I definitely also let some rules slide. Elbows on the table are permitted (though not feet, thankyouverymuch), as is reaching a bit or even getting up for seconds. The napkins are in a basket on the table instead of at the place settings because there is often need for more than one per person. If you don't like it, you might be encouraged into taking one bite, just in case, but you won't be forced to eat it. And occasionally, eating with your fingers is o.k. like for those last few peas that roll around the plate and just won't sit on the fork like they should. When the kids get older and more coordinated, we'll enforce that one more.
What happens at your house or did while you were growing up? How strict is too strict? I really want all of us to enjoy the family meals. It's no fun feeling like the food police every night, but I want them to know how to behave well too.
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Varmint, if you were really in for adventure you would make whatever the random three recipes feature on recipeGullet gives you.
C'mon I dare you.I love to try new stuff, but have to admit that I don't do it often with guests unless we know them well and they are the kind of folks who love to experiment themselves and even then it is usually only one new dish. I'm not comfortable enough with my skills yet to make something completely new for guests, unless, and this does happen, my first choice meal is a complete blowout and I'm forced to improvise. Have, admittedly, had some tasty meals happen that way.
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Owen, that is a thing of beauty you have there.
*sigh*
I don't actually make the espresso in our house, just clean up after the drama is over (and enjoy the results too, so it's worthwhile). It is a mess. How do you keep the little steam frother arm clean? That is always crusty.
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I love the swiss cheese variety, naff or no... but I'm a Midwestern oaf too.
Makes me think of Harry's store in my childhood. Harry was a serious character. Had was a Swiss ex-pat who had a store literally under a river embankment in my home town. It was full of European wine, cheese, sausages, tobacco blends, chocolate and old men. What this was doing in a small town in farmland Wisconsin I have no idea, but it sure fascinated me. His instructions to my mother were severe. Only THE BEST IMPORTED cheese was to go into her fondue or there would be certain death, or at the very least grainy yicky fondue goo. My mother, bless her, followed his instructions to the letter. I still make it, but have to hunt for the right cheese. Gruyère and imported swiss, the younger the better.
mmmmm... melty, winey goodness
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This is pretty darn good. Nothing like doubling up your pork products.
Pancetta Wrapped Pork Tenderloin
Mix:
3-4 cloves minced garlic
2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary
2 teaspoons kosher salt (or less if your pancetta is more heavily smoked)
freshly ground black pepper
Rub all over trimmed pork tenderloins. I used 2 at about 1 lb. each.
Then take pancetta slices and wrap up the tenderloins, tying them up with string to hold it together like a package.
Grill them up and serve. I do them over indirect heat for about 20-30 minutes then over direct heat for the last minute or two to crisp the bacon if it needs it.
Also enjoy Blue Cheese Creamed Spinach with Pancetta. Very rich and flavorful.
Enjoy your bacon tryst!
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We do this quite often with "hostess gift" wine. Often people will give us Merlot when we host, which I generally don't like much, but if you mix it with the inexpensive cabernet I keep for the marinara sauce and it isn't so bad. Sometimes we suprise ourselves and it's quite good. Of course, sometimes it is REALLY bad too, but that is half the fun.
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Dinner tonight is http://recipes.egullet.com/recipes/r920.html . With pasta and fried sage. Now that I've heard the raves I have to go there!
Going to be delicious. Thanks for all your suggestions. I loved the idea of the chicken saltimboca and the cannelini beans too. They are on the menu for next week.
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I made a winter squash, sage risotto topped with gorgonzola and toasted almonds for our Sunday dinner this week. Definitely lovely, but now I have several stems of fresh sage staring me in the eye when I open the fridge. Any ideas as to how to put them to good use?
Can I freeze or dry it with good results if I don't use it immediately?
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The last time I was in this situation I followed my wonderful brother-in-law's advice and just ordered the best vodka they had on the rocks. I ended up with about 7 oz. of Grey Goose. (Not a bad deal really, since the drink was $5.)
Very, very dangerous. Don't do that.
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The darker the better, for me. I like bitter, but not to the point where there is no sweet at all. There is a fine line where the chocolate and the sweet are at a perfect balance to enhance the divine chocolate goodness.
Granted, its rare that I'll turn down any chocolate of any color gradient. I'm an equal oppurtunity chocolate lover, but a girl does have her preferences
Exactly.
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It's only 1:30 here and I want one too.
Sounds heavenly. At least I'll be able to alter my menu to accomodate some at dinner. -
Cusina, not to get too far off topic, but having raised three feminine sprouts, 2 years apart, do you feel as though there is a natural law that all the sprouts do not behave at the same time?
YES! exactly!
My two children alternate... they are never hungry at the same time for the same things. First one is hungry, then 3 minutes later the other, then the first is thirsty, then the other one is thirsty, then the first one is hungry AGAIN for something different (and more labor intensive) etc... ad nauseum (literally sometimes). Of course neither is hungry or thirsty at meal time, at least for what I've cooked.
For the record, lots of these requests go unfilled. They do get told to wait for supper when they have had enough snacks. I swear some days they must sit down between themselves and work the exact timing out to achieve the maximum mommy frustration point.
O.k. vent over... back to the topic.
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Good question. I'm a believer that we are defined by our limitations so...
I live in the suburban Midwest. I can't buy some things, particularily luxury or seasonal ingredients, that might be available to others. So geographically I'm limited.
Time is my second constraint, followed closely by concentration. Young children underfoot puts a cramp in my style. There are likely to be demands for juice and crackers at critical moments. I also sometimes lack imagination, knowledge, and experience but that is almost a challenge rather than a limitation.
There is a flip side to each of these constraints. They inspire me too, make me resourceful. Seeking out the things in my part of the world that ARE fresh and unique to the area is fun. Beautiful honey, cheese, milk, beef and syrup. Enjoying even more the tomatoes and corn when they are in season because they are a rarity. Realizing that my corner butcher shop with it's dozens of home made sausages is a seriously great thing, I shouldn't take it for granted. And it is a joy to teach a child to cook, even dryish toast is marvelous if you four year old made it for you, special.
My lack of imagination leads me to talk with others, like this BB. Definitely enriches my life too.
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I did get a beautifully polite e-mail response wondering if I wanted the Hospital Road Ramsay or the Claridge. I didn't realize I needed to specify.
After looking at the web site I'm guessing we want the original on Hospital Road. Which would you suggest? We will be staying close to the Gloucester Road tube stop and will not have access to a car.Thank you again for all your help. I know it will add a lot of enjoyment to our trip.
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In small northern MN diners, "fresh vegetable medley" is inevitably frozen peas and carrot cubes, sometimes with some frozen broccoli stems tossed in for good measure. Spongey, to say the least. Oh, I almost forgot, sometimes some frozen corn! Worst is when one gets it in August, when sweet corn and fresh tomatoes are at their prime.
Yup, here too. Ugh. Never order anything even vaugely vegetable in a small Midwestern diner. You'll end up with wilty brown iceberg and squishy-defrosty veggie chunks every time. Much better off with the fruit plate. Those are harder to mess up. Or better yet just get the fried plate special.
This whole thread is making me think of the Outback Steakhouse. They do a reasonably fresh vegetable medley (broccoli, carrots, zucchini and yellow squash), if there is such a thing. But then they completely ruin it by "seasoning" it to death. ugh. So close, and yet still terrible.
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Thank you all... now I just have my fingers crossed that I can get a reservation. We are there the week of April 6th, so less than a month away.
I should have done this sooner. I've name dropped e-gullet (this thread in particular) and tried to be very polite and flexible via e-mail in hopes of winning them over.
Maybe it will work and I'll get a cancellation spot. -
Gordon Ramsay SHOULD have been on that list, oops. The Capital I had heard a few iffy things about, that it had declined in the past year or so and I removed it. Feel free to convince me otherwise.
Thanks for the response Stigand.
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Hmmm... we met in college and I'm sure the first meal I made for him was something with pasta and no cook bars for dessert. I can't remember.
Things that I do remember serving to him though that probably helped sealed the deal:
1) Cheese Fondue with crusty french bread. In a candle lit dorm room, seated on the floor and served on my Dad's old college trunk covered with a pillowcase for a tablecloth. Wine (not bad really, considering) bought with a fake i.d. Eclairs for dessert.
2) Cinnamon coffee cake. Made with Bisquick in a ring mold, with a caramel glaze. He LOVED these and made me make them often.
3) Apple Pie - made in London as a slightly homesick/hungover student. I looked like a magician pulling that out of the air for almost no money in our tiny flat kitchenette. And it was good too. So good he ate most of it while I wasn't looking!
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Our trip to London is just a few weeks away and I still, after much research (the best of it done right here) am at a bit of a loss as to where our 10th anniversary celebration dinner should be. My highest priority is that be able to enjoy the evening with each other (and the FOOD of course).
Here is my potential list:
Tom Aikens
Bleeding Heart
The Square
Le Gavroche
Chez Bruce
La Trompette
Bibedum
1880, Bentley hotel
Foliage Restaurant at the Mandarin Hotel
The Landesborough Hotel
Which should I choose? And is there a way over the web to make the reservations? Thank you in advance for your help!
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As a side for the ham I'll suggest a sweet potato and apple dish.
Make it in two large crock pots. Five pounds each of sweet potatoes and of apples (I like a mix of golden delicious and granny smith.) peeled and chopped. Mix with orange juice, brown sugar, ginger, allspice and cinnamon for a sweeter mix. Or, alternatively, mix with vegetable stock, ginger, garlic and soy for a more savory version. When I do smaller batches at home I add nuts, but I wouldn't do that for a larger crowd just in case you have an allergy.
Edited to say that Mahaw and I were typing at the same time. I love his idea! Might have to use it soon...
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As my grandfather might have said: "It's something that separates us from the other animals."
---And all of the other reasons listed above. Would someone kind please tell me whassa Perkins?
Perkins is the suburban Midwestern equivalent of mashing together a Howard Johnson's and a TGI Fridays or Bennigans, mix in a little Country Kitchen and some IHOP, add fake plants, keep it open 24 hours and charge about $4-7 per plate with quality and clientèle to match.
The only time it is really doable is at 3 a.m. and you wake someone more sober than you to drive.
Has your taste in wine changed over the years?
in Wine
Posted
I'm still in the learning curve and so my tastes have changed dramatically over the past 10 years and I expect them to continue to do so. For example, this thread is the first time I've even read the word tempranillo, but now I feel the need to try one.