Simon Majumdar

After a rather bruising four cities in seven days tour of the East Coast of the US, the chance of joining my older and ever estimable brother for a four day jaunt to Madrid was too good to pass up. First some observations 1) Madrilenos seem to have no sense of direction and are constantly bumping into you and each other like they were playing a game of human pinball 2) The best waiters/barmen in Madrid are the grumpiest and should always be wearing oversized white jackets and bow ties ( This is known as “Robin’s Rule”) 3) Madrid is not “cheap” Cheaper than London certainly ( but where isn’t?) but the cooking is honest and portions ample 4) There is only one Starbucks in the whole of Madrid. Why? The simple fact that even the smallest, grimiest café would not dare to serve bad coffee. 5) My spelling of Spanish names is as approximate as my guess at my weight increase after the trip 6) Spain really needs to kidnap some pastry chefs from France 7) Iberian Airlines is about as welcoming as a Gulag THURSDAY Arriving on separate flights ( for insurance reasons Majumdars are not allowed to travel on the same flight ) we found our way to a small, basic but entirely harmless hotel on the Calle Salud and decided to head straight out to try some of the local bars and Siderias. We had both managed to avoid eating the “something in foil” that was offered on the plane and were starving. First port of call was the largest of the Museo De Jamon chain close to Sol ( I think there are five. We visited three of them, all excellent )where a plate of Iberico ham and manchego was served with a pinchot of morchilla and two cana’s. The manchego was nondescript, but the ham ( in this case not the belotta ) was very good indeed. Next stop was Orejas Del Oro. A small bar serving ( as the name suggests ) Pig’s ear amongst other things. We ordered a plate of this with some pimento padron a copa of wine. The ears were shredded and cooked “a la plancha” they were, at the same time gelatinous and crisp. The pimenton were small green peppers rolled in salt and cooked whole. They were soft and sweet. I am told that there is the occasional hot one in the pile and it is a Madrileno equivalent of Russian roulette. Onwards and upwards, the next stop was a fairly ordinary boquorenes with a tooth rottingly sweet draft vermut. I tried this a couple of times, but never really developed a taste for it On to a Sideria ( El Tigres ) for, er, well cider. Crisp and dry and served with a wonderful tortilla. Soft in the middle but with a bite to it Finally and slightly inappropriately in terms of the time of day, we headed for some pre- dinner churros and chocolate at Valor. Perfectly OK, but not the best of our visit. After a pre-dinner nap, we headed off to what became my favourite haunt of the trip. La Velencia, a small dilapidated sherry bar on Calle Echegaray which served an excellent selection ( with the exception of the fino which was nondescript ). Another pre dinner drink ( and pincho of superb empanada’s with tomato and tuna ) at a nearby bar led us to our first “restaurant” meal of the trip. The highly recommended Asador de Fronton which specialises in Basque grilling. We arrived at the very beginning of service at around 9.30pm but by 9.45 the place was packed. We started with Peppers roasted and dressed in oil. Simple but delicious while Robin had the first of about 12 plates of Iberico Bellota of the trip. We followed with one of the best beef ribs for two I have ever tasted. Cooked perfectly and just served in its juices. Robin compared it to Pete Luger’s. We both loved the “ No muss, no fuss” approach where you order beef, you get beef. No sides, not nothing. Fantastic. We had two wines, a very good Pesquera (EU25 ) and a Riscal ( EU13 ) This was followed by an inordinately large Jaime I Another Grand Duque D’alba and a Café Solo later we staggered off to bed pretty sure Madrid had been a good decision FRIDAY I think it is fair to say that we felt a little “tired and emotional” the next morning so after a restorative chocolate, we headed for The Prado and the calming effects of the Bosch paintings!!! But first, was my introduction to Velasquez. Who knew? The royal portraits are just stunning. After the Prado and a welcome stroll in the Retiro, we headed up on what became a route march to our next major meal. Robin had booked Asador De Aranda in the Plaze Del Castilla. This is some 5 miles North of the city past the Real Madrid Football ground. After a few miles, we wussed out and got a cab and arrived at our destination ( near the main northern bus station ) ready for action. Just as well because the action was bloody fantastic. Aranda specialises in cordero ( Lechel Lamb ) and we ordered a quarto or quarter to share. We prefaced this with starters of Chitterlings in a tomato sauce, morcilla stuffed with rice and shredded suet like fat and kidneys and sweetbreads. The kidneys were sensational with a crisp layer of fat protecting the moist insides. The lamb when it came was beyond belief good. The skin was crisp and well seasoned and the flesh moist and delicious. We ended up gnawing on bones for about 15 minutes after we finished everything else. We wased it down with a jug of the house wine which did not kill us, unlike the rough Orujo Herbias they gave us with our bill. More nappage had to follow our cab ride to the hotel, but by 9pm we were showered and ready again ( love this city ) and headed out to Salamanca for supper. Pre dinner cana’s at a Galician place saw pincho of a cockle salad and more empenada. Both very good We then headed to the most expensive meal of the trip at a recommended seafood restaurant called La Trainera. After two more glasses of manzanilla, we started with an decent Gambas Ajillo and an excellent Sopa Del Products del Mar. Based on an excellent stock, this was one of the highlights of the trip for me. For main courses we ordered lenguardo ( Sole ) and merluze ( Hake ) both cooked “ a la plancha” again served simply with a green salad. The Albarino Valdamor 2000 we had with it was wonderful and suited well. Puddings were pointless and best forgotten. SATURDAY Saturday was a day of wandering in the pouring rain and dipping in and out of as many places as took our fancy. Avoiding the grim places around the Plaza Mayor, we returned for some more pig’s ear action at El Orejas Del Oro and then across to one of Madrids best known bars El Abuelo which served prawns in one of two way, Ajillo ( with Garlic, chilli and parsley) and A La Plancha, grilled on the hot plate. The prawns were staggeringly fresh and not cheap which is understandable given that Madrid is landlocked and all fish is brought in fresh every day. The wine they serve with it is really quite nasty. We also managed to fit in a another plate of Belotta, some croquetta, some Calamari and innumerable copas of this and cana’s of the other before we headed out for the serious supper time crawl I loved the Madrileno way of eating and the evening was a blur of Meatballs, Lomo, cecina ( beef ) and more prawns at Abuleo and sweetbreads at The Pig’s Ear. After a final triple Torres, I retired to bed happy at about 2am ( about the time most people in Madrid are just getting started. If only life could always be this way and if only my kidneys didn’t grumble quite so much Oh, the hot chocolate at Gitines ( by all accounts a legend in the town) was the best I have ever, ever had SUNDAY Sunday was tourist day. A quick walk through the entirely unpleasant Rastro Market ( named after the trails of blood streaming down the hill from the slaughterhouse ) was followed by the obligatory visit to see Guernica at the Reine Sofia. The visit to see this was given an added dimension by the fact that outside the gallery 100,000 people were marching in an anti-government rally. Taken as I was with the main attraction, I was most enraptured by the cubist work of Juan Gris. Sensational Lunch was at a tourist institution in Madrid, La Bola. Both and visitors flock here on Sunday as it the only day they make Cocido Madrileno, the dish of Madrid. A slow cooked stew of chickpeas with beef chicken and pork ( a one pot potluck supper ) The broth is served first and then the stew afterwards. This was one of the few dud notes for me of the whole trip. The place was hellish, the table we had worse and the food ordinary. Robin enjoyed his Cocido more than I did. I found it underspiced and bland, but since that is the nature of the dish, it is my failing not theirs. The Vina Mayor we had with it worked very well though. All in all a disappointment By this time it is fair to say we were beginning to feel a little jaded and had to gird our loins for the final assault. Only two sherrys at La Venecia ( our fourth visit ) before heading to dinner. Botins is reputedly the oldest restaurant in Spain and therefore is a huge attraction to visitors. We noticed that the diners were a pretty equal mix of locals and visitors and the fact that it was a tourist enclave did not mean it was bad. It reminded me of eating at Rules in London. We had booked as its speciality is suckling pig and huge numbers of the small porkers give their lived over to being crackled in the wood burning fires of this restaurant and it is definitely worth their sacrifice. We started with salad and a superb morcilla and a horrid salad. Both of us then followed with pig action and it was delicious. The thin layer of skin was crisp and crackly and covered a moist fatty slab of meat. Served on its own, the brit in me screamed out for apple sauce, but it worked as it was without aid nor seasoning. After post piggy Orujo and coffees, we went off for our last Grand Duque D’albas of the trip and decided that both we and our inner organs needed some rest. MONDAY An early start to the airport. Arriving home in the early afternoon, Robin went straight to rehab, me for a colonic irrigation. Madrid is one of those cities you want to return to almost as soon as you get home and I am certain I will S

Perhaps they might take the time to develop some artistic talent or more likely install a kitchen S

Closed last year, I believe S

You are not THAT fat Sam Don't be so hard on yourself S

Jimmy's in SOHO must be worth a visit. It must be the home of the rudest waiters in London and I am sure everybody has been there at least once The food was grim greek stodge, the house wine was poured into bottles from a metal can AT THE TABLE and the bill came to about £3 a pop in 1983 ( the last time I went ) But, it is still there and still going strong S

They loved stabbing people through the eye with screwdrivers too, but I wouldn't want to try that What was the first Chinese restaurant? In the modern sense ( as V's would be to Indian restaurants ) I am assuming that it was one of the places in Limehouse S

The sheer number of meals that get offered when one stays in a Bengali family home is quite staggering I recall being woken and offered a glass of the jhol from the dhal, then followed by mutton pasties and dhal for breakfast. Lunch would be fish curry with rice and luo ( sp?) and boled rice. Afternoon ( nearly always watching the Cricket in Dashpria park while sitting on the veranda ) would be cucumber sandwiches and creamcakes from the famous shop in calcutta whose name escapes me. Supper would be drumstick curry ( as you describe ) with fried Hilsa. The evening would finish with fish tandoori rolls from the street seller opposite the house. I think I came back to the UK about 1/2 stone heavier than when I arrived S

Peasant! S

Did anyone chance upon this programme on BBC2 last night? JM is one of the few ( now ex ) critics for whom I had any respect and I have always found him to be both amusing and knowledgeable. In last night's show, he drew his sights on the slightly easy target of Fast Food. While the show was amusing in parts ( the shot of him in overalls holding a sausage meat stuffed condom is one that will haunt me for a while !!) and JM is never less than watchable, I couldn't help thinking that it was all a bit lame. Brits don't like food/the rich owned all the land/People like Fast Food becuase it does not look like the animal from which it has been taken etc etc What did anyone else think? S

Clarke's in Exmouth Market, Isn't it? It's OK what about The Eagle ( first Gastro Pub ) Brick lane Beigel bakery S

I think you should also visit The Silver Dollar in North Harrow. Reputedly the first Pizza place in the UK and still open. when I used to eat that stuff, their pizzas were very good indeed

I love yogurt in my Indian cooking Like Suvir, I have never yet been able to find a good doi made at home. Even in my grandmother's house, we would always head to the local store for supplies. I have never found a taste quite like the doi of Calcutta. I use yogurt in my marinades ( not just indian - there is sa superb greek recipe I make using a leg of lamb ) and for side dishes ( like raita ) S

It's difficult to know how you would argue on the premise of qaulity alone. Butter ghee is quite different from vegetable. Perhaps not as pronounced a difference as comparing apples with oranges, for example, but it would be an unfair comparison to make on a qualitative basis I feel. Still, I know the results from vegetable ghee can be excellent. I always season it with garlic and ginger, and, depending on what dish I use it for, sometimes also with peppercorns and chillies, both dried and fresh. I wonder, Simon, if you were to sit down to two curries and try them both if you could determine which one was made with butter or vegetable ghee? How confident would you be? I think if the dish with the vegetable is well made you would struggle Next time you are making a curry at home, try this. Take some vegetable ghee, turn it into a pot and melt it gently, add the ginger and garlic and heat until the garlic browns then drain the ghee. Whilst it cools, add a dozen mixed peppercorns and two or three dried red chillies. When it is near to cool, re-drain and return the ghee to it's tub. It will reset itself. Let's say you are making a dopiaza - take two tablespoons of the ghee, melt slowly and add to this two whole fresh green chillies and half a teaspoon of zeera seeds. Cook gently until the chillies skin starts to discolour then remove the chillies and finish your curry. I defy you to tell me this will not produce a fantastic basis for your dish. You are on but, if I am right, I shall hunt you down like the cur you most surely will be proved to be S

Yes, I´ve met some Gujarati´s too I would love, in fact demand, some examples of dishes where shortening is better S

I would have to disagree on the quality argument. I can´t argue from an economic point of view but butter Ghee has always, imho been better for taste and quality than vegetable ghee. If I don´t cook in butter ghee, I would use, for home cooking anyway, a vegetable oil S

I am going to start a "food that gets you through shaving every day" thread for the blokes How dýa like them apples StellaB? S

Toooooo Much information S

I have found that there are only two words to placate a Girlfriend at this time Ben & Jerry´s S

My recipe for raita is very simple Yoghurt Mint chopped Cucumber seeded and diced Salt I am never sure why people think it needs any more. S

I recently had a bottle of the Firesteed 1997 which was excellent. It is available at Selfridges in London at about $30 which is not bad S

Although it is now part of the same stable, I am not fond of The Ivy, Steve. The food is at best comforting, at worst, bland and I loathe their booking policy This is one of those places that is, quite frankly, not worth the effort to get into I prefer JS every time S

Is that like you with eating fatty bacon? S

I am back home in Blighty I can get black beans easily enough, but I am told I need a particular sort. Unless, of course, I have been told complete bollocks by someone........ S

Having shared an overly large plate of this with a slightly derranged someone at the weekend ( squealing girlishly for hoof meat is rarely dignified ) I intend to try and cook for this myself next week sometime The dish I tried was a bit sanitised I fear with none of the bits that offend. it was however tasty none the less with great chunks of sausage If I had one criticism it would be that it lacked a bit of heat and was much better with the provided hot sauce. I am not sure that I will be able to get hold of the Brazilian black beans. What can I substitute? S

Piaza or piazi ( in some cases Piaj or Piaz depending on dialect) literally means onion but has come to be synonymous with Bhaji Do piaza ( as in Chicken Do piaza ) is another example of the word where it means "two onions" I think. Onions are used at the beginning to form the base of the dish and then again at the end when deep fried onions are added to the dish S