Smollensky's Wapping

[Simon Majumdar]

SMOLLENSKY’S, WAPPING

Steak & a Gherkin

There are some things that Britain does extraordinarily badly and top of my current list is serving a decent steak. Where NY has Pete Luger’s we have the risible Notting Grill with all the horrors that punning name brings with it. Where Dallas has Del Frisco’s we have Sophie’s. Even at a chain level the best we brits have ever been able to muster against Ruth Chris’s Steakhouse ( actually rather good ) is a bloody Berni Inn or a Beefeater. For God’s sake!

Last time I craved a huge slice of cow the size of my ex-wife’s arse ( that is big, I can tell you. Any bigger and it would have had its own climate ) I had to resort to buying it from the Ginger Pig and cooking it myself.

Last night Majumdar R and I were doing our once a week "need to eat dead flesh" bonding session and wanted to have a steak rather than our usual Mixed Kebab with a side order of Sweetbreads from Mangal.

On the recommendations of a few people on this board we went to the Smollensky’s in Wapping.

The cavernous dining room was almost entirely empty when we arrived and so we grabbed a large table for four. The room did fill up considerably by the time we left. I guess if you live in Wapping, there is a limited choice.

The menu is the same as you have seen at every other restaurant of its ilk. The starters were the usual "smothered in our famous sauce" variety of Potato Wedges, Shrimp Cocktails, Caesar Salads etc, but our choices ( a Caesar and the Shrimp Cocktail ) were fine and fresh.

There were a variety of main course choices but the whole point of going was for steak. One of my real criticisms of eating steak in London is that it is too bloody difficult to get one large enough. While there were plenty of 10oz this and 8oz that to offend the real meat eater, they do have a 24oz NY strip on the menu, so there was no real choice. The meat is 28 day aged on the bone Aberdeen Angus and arrived cooked exactly to order ( in my case, black on the outside,blue in the middle. The only way ) it was flavourful and delicious.

Sides were industrial and entirely nasty. Why bother putting Onion rings and Chips on the menu if they are going to be disgusting and of the "straight from head office by lorry" variety? The chips in particular were horrible and seemed to have as much resemblance to a potato as I do to Mel Gibson. I would much rather they charge more for these and make a half decent job of it and it made me long for the onion ring in tempura batter at Del Frisco’s.

The wine list is tiny and not in the slightest adventurous. We had a perfectly OK bottle of Californian Zin/Shiraz which at £14 was not robbery. Just.

We did not have dessert as we were far to full of barelyy cooked beef. Not a bad thing. Bill for two courses and wine and pre dinner beers came to a whopping (geddit?) £90 inc a service charge which was deserved as the waiter was friendly and entirely efficient. The NY strip was £21, so that added the largest proportion.

On the whole a slightly uninspiring "steak experience" but I am not sure it gets any better in the UK.

We decided to walk off some of the beef and went to have a look at the Gherkin that is rising up into the skyline near Bishopsgate. It is extraordinarily impressive and reminded us both of some of the things that this country can still do better than any where else in the World.

Now if only we could open a good steakhouse

5/10

S

[cabrales]

Simon -- Was there a bit of fat in the steak to be sampled?

[Simon Majumdar]

There was, cabby.

The cut of meat itself had been trimmed of fat which is a mistake IMHO, but the steak itself was well marbled with fat. Very tasty

S

[John Whiting]

Have you tried Popeseye Steak House in Olympia? I haven't been there but friends have recommended it.

[Simon Majumdar]

I have not tried that one, but I did try the one on the Upper Richmond rd which was very good in its own "we don't take cards, don't take bookings, don't serve chips but have a great time anyway" kind of reticent way

It is just too far to schlep

S

[circeplum]

just as i remembered: great steaks, abject everything else (a duck 'spring roll' lurks unpleasantly in my memory.)

have you tried 'black and blue' - a small chain (i think there's a couple of them) of steakhouses from the people who own tootsies? there's one just by kensington place and the steaks were pretty damn' fine. there's also a whole onion, floured and flowered, which struck me as a great way to add to my enbonpoint.

[AdamLawrence]

Last time I craved a huge slice of cow the size of my ex-wife’s arse ( that is big, I can tell you.  Any bigger and it would have had its own climate ) I had to resort to buying it from the Ginger Pig and cooking it myself.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this revisionist history of the highest order? As I recall from that thread, Robin cooked it, and you became his bitch.

cheers

Adam

[peterpumkino]

Simon,

There are some very cheap flights to Florida in October, you should take one and go to 'Berne's Steak House' in Tampa recognized by all who know as one of THE top steak houses in America. IMHO it's the best (although an Argentinian girlfriend I had was not impressed - she then took me to Buenos Aires and I could see why! But that's another story) - really, the menu in itself is amazing (you order your meat in many ways, the most important being weight - i.e. did you know that ordering one steak of 32 ounce for two is better than two of 16 ounces each?).

In addition to amazing steaks they have a caviar list (with many of the cheaper caviars from other parts of the World) and the largest wine lists in the World (yeah, yeah I know, that's what everyone says but this really is) it's about four inches thick and each page is crammed - for example they have, literally, pages of wines over $1,000 and pages and pages of wine over $200 but they also have excellent wine for $15!!! The reason that it is is excellent is simply because the wines are bought correctly and, just as important, stored correctly (the reds in fact are quite cold, you have to call them in advance and the bottle is then opened - and decanted if neccessary - and waiting for you when you arrive at the correct tmperature - divine). A great birthday treat is to take someone there and order a bottle of their birth year - that's why I always go out with young girls! I know it's a gimmick but girls LOVE it and take the bottle home and treasure it (you know how they are).

You can also tour the kitchens at the end of the meal and you can see why their logo is 'Art In Steaks'. A Real experience.

ps you can also buy the wine list (last time I looked it was $50!!).

[peterpumkino]

Circeplum (where did you get that name?!),

Actually 'black and blue' is a term used in the States which describes how you want your steak cooked. In this case 'black and blue' would be very black on the outside and pink on the inside - it's how I like my steaks.

But, of course, you knew that, didn't you? However maybe other Egullet's didn't!

[Tonyfinch]

I also had an excellent steak at Smollensky's in Wapping and the person I was with pronounced the burger as being "well above average".

There was also a very fairly(for London) priced '96 Chianti on the otherwise dull list which went so well we had to order another bottle.

The best restaurant in Wapping (my abode) is a Thai called Wharf,which is pricier than your average high st. Thai but where everything I've had on several visits has been excellent.

[Simon Majumdar]

Actually 'black and blue' is a term used in the States which describes how you want your steak cooked.  In this case 'black and blue' would be very black on the outside and pink on the inside - it's how I like my steaks.

I am alarmed to see that Peter and I have something in common

Thanks for the rec in Florida. I am pondering on that or the San Juan Islands for next year's trip. This may just tip the scales in Florida's favour by 32oz's

Adam- Is it just people called Adam or does everyone have it in for me in the Bitch stakes?

S

[Jon Tseng]

the mangal does sweetbreads?

[Simon Majumdar]

the mangal does sweetbreads?

Of course. Not only is it on the menu ( which is a bit of a giveaway ) but if you ask them they will add some into the mixed kebab platter

Bloody Amateurs!!

S

[Jon Tseng]

cheers byatch

i shall definitely try sometime

j

[peterpumkino]

Simon,

Yes, you should indeed be alarmed.

Actually 32oz for two is very small in the States and, yes, you MUST go to Florida as this restaurant is really an unforgettable experience. They even have bizarre 'dessert rooms' where they have a drinks list nearly as big as their wine list. I sampled (at $200 per glass, I was wealthy then) their pre-phyloxera brandy (18th century I think) it was very nice but no better than a nice glass of Remy really, and I call other people on this site pretentious!

Another thing, the decor is horrendous, sort of a combination of a traditional funeral parlour and a bordello! I took a group of Brits there once and on entering one said 'Gosh, I'd hate to see his house!'. Truth is they thought that I'd lost the plot since I moved to the States, they all thought that until they saw the menu......

If your into wine you can also visit the wine cellars which are amazing and stretch for, what seems like, miles.

Have any other Egulleters been there?

[mogsob]

Berne's is decidedly not the best steak in America. It is the top steakhouse in the Zagat survey, which in and of itself is proof of its utter mediocrity. Berne's does have a fabulous wine list that has done much to cover up its average meat. See also, Angus Barn, North Carolina for more of the same.

The best steak in America is at Peter Luger's. Trite, but true.

As for England, I'm still trying to import some steaks from Lobel's, as I have given up all hope of finding anything close here.

IMHO, the best steak outside of the US (note: have not been to Argentina) would be in Tuscany, where a great T-Bone from one of those giant white cows can't really be beat.

[Simon Majumdar]

Mogsob

I wont get involved in the Berne's argument, never been there, but agree that PL's is amazing

If you are in London ( you are are you not?) then there are two places that have beef every bit as good as anywhere on earth

James Elliot - Essex Rd ( next to Steve Hatt ) - he had the most superb 28 day dry aged Scottish beef and will do any cut English or otherwise you want

The Ginger Pig - as mentioned many times before

I have to say that the best beef I have ever eaten was the Beuclough (Sp?) fillet at Locanda Locatelli.

I am never quite as impressed with Argentinian beef as I think I should be. I have been on a couple of occasions and found what the places the locals took me to to be fine but not revlatory. I wonder if they export a lot of the good stuff.

Now, some of the Brazilian beef I have tried has been superb

S

[Tonyfinch]

Last week my wife and I shared a 2lb T-Bone at Doe's Eat Place in Greenville Mississippi which,according to itself,is "world famous" for its steaks.Hard to imagine a better one I must say.

As for Britain, notwithstanding Smollensky's I've all but given up ordering steak in a restaurant. I find I can buy better meat at my local butcher and cook it just as well at home. A friend recently raved about his steak at Smiths of Smithfield(Top Floor) but others are far more sceptical about this place.

And who are the saddest tourists in London? It has to be those sat in the variousAberdeen Steak houses in front of their dried out pieces of rump (their steaks,not their partners.)

[Simon Majumdar]

And who are the saddest tourists in London? It has to be those sat in the variousAberdeen Steak houses in front of their dried out pieces of rump (their steaks,not their partners.)

I think the description fits so many of my ex's

S

[Tonyfinch]

I wont get involved in the Berne's argument, never been there,

Course you have.It's just that in this country they called themselves BernI and put the word Inn afterwards. Lousy steaks as I recall.

[peterpumkino]

Tony,

The sad fact is that I'm not totally sure that your joking.

Simon and Mogsob,

Ignore what anybody says about Bernes, when you take everything into consideration - not just the steaks but also the fact that they have the best Caesar Salad, wonderful desserts. fresh fish, the best wines in the World, the best liqueurs in the World, the caviar list... need I go on Mr. Mogsob? And the price? Considering, very reasonable but I assume you are very rich Mr. Mogsob nor do you want a Dining Experience in the true sense of the word.

And, in addition to all that I recommended Berne's because Florida is a traditional Brit destination therefore a Brit can enjoy the area as well as eat at Berne's. I mean who wants to go to Chicago? (that should get everybody whining).

Re. Argentina. All I can say that, maybe, you didn't go to the right restaurant or have you considered that you didn't like the flavour. It is possible as the tase is different but unquestionably the best (this time NOT just IMHO)

[Tonyfinch]

Tony,

The sad fact is that I'm not totally sure that your joking.

I agree. That is very sad for you, though God knows what made you think I was joking.

[peterpumkino]

It may be sad for me Tony, but the fact that I wasn't totally sure you were kidding certainly says a lot about my opinion of you as a 'food critic'. Now, if Gill had said it I know it would have been a joke.

[Tonyfinch]

I think the best steak in London is to be found at the Arkansas Cafe in Spitalfields market. This is a one man American BBQ show-no frills,plastic utensils,no chips(they don't have a licence to fry or something). Also-not open in the evenings(except by arrangement)and not open Saturdays.It is also cold and uncomfortable.

Great steaks though.

[circeplum]

i love the arkansas grill! the barbary duck sandwiches are also quite magnificent. and bubba, the bbq guy, is a true, one-off, eccentric, dyed-in-the-wool, enthusiast.

he should be on e-gullet.