Haggis

[reverendtmac]

A story, then.

I spent Saturday night carousing all over Regina during Mosaic, a multicultural festival. All the cultural socieites set up pavilions all over Regina, and you go around and nail a bunch of really, really good food and booze. It's fabulous, a really, really good time...so anyway, this young Scottish/Ukrainaian half-breed found himself inflamed with potato vodka, spiced vodka, a couple Red Stripes and a Guinness in each fist, staring at the menu at the Scottish pavilion and thinking "Haggis, eh? Just. Bring. It." And it was brought; two baseball-sized mounds of this dense, dark gray-brown...matter. Didn't exactly look appetizing, although the rather minimalist presentation (mounds at 6 o'clock on a styrofoam plate, no garnish, nothing) might have had something to do with it. The smell. Sweet frigging Jaysis, the smell. I thought Durian was bad...no, scratch that, I still think Durian is bad, but this...man. An olfactory kick to the temple. My Braveheart moment was over as soon as I got a whiff of it.

To my alleged credit, I managed to eat well over half of it. The taste wasn't bad...I still think dense is a good word. Bloody, livery, with the wrong texture 'cause of the oats, and kind of sour and underseasoned. The thought that kept going through my mind, though, was "This can't be right". It didn't taste like Bourdain described. It didn't taste like anything else I've ever read about it, come to think of it...it just tasted kinda nasty.

So, to those of you that have had good or great haggis - what does it smell like, and what should it taste like? I'm at work and Bourdain's Cook's Tour is at home, so I can't consult it...but if someone could fill me in, that'd be great.

PS - I drank what can only be described as a heroic dose of alcohol that evening, and woke up without a hangover (was on the course for 7:21). I'm inclined to believe that's the haggis's fault...

[Stone]

How'd you shoot?

[slkinsey]

By the way, does anyone know a source for ready-to-cook haggis in NYC? I want to do a Burns' Night next January 25.

[maggiethecat]

Didn't exactly look appetizing, although the rather minimalist presentation (mounds at 6 o'clock on a styrofoam plate, no garnish, nothing) might have had something to do with it.

For me, the funniest line in a very, very funny post. Thanks, Reverend Sir.

Yeah, haggis would be my family's ancestral dish, I guess. Think I'll stick to the family's ancestral beverage after reading this.

[reverendtmac]

How'd you shoot?

101 (41-60). My worst round in two and a half years, including a back with an eight, a ten and a thirteen. I'd love to blame the night previous for the score (believe me, I would), but it had absolutely sweet F.A. to do with it. The guy I was playing against and his memory lapses when counting shots, however, might have contributed to some variety of anger...would you believe my other rounds on the weekend were 81 and 82, and somehow my handicap stayed in single digits? :)

Maggie - I'm convinced this was a really, really crap example of food that could be great. That's why I'm asking about it...I want to try this done right!

[Al_Dente]

When in Scotland a few years ago I tried haggis. Had much the same experience as you, so I gave it another whirl a few days later (both incidents were alcohol induced). Tasted just as bad. I'm not up for a third attempt.

Reminds me of the movie "So I Married an Axe Murderer". Mike Meyers' character says that he believes all Scottish cuisine was based on a dare.

[jackal10]

You must have had bad haggs, or even worse a vegetarian version.

True haggis is delicious. "Great chieften o'the pudding race"

The predominate note is spicy pepper, then the onions, set against a background of liver and nutty oatmeal. The texture is distinct grains of oatmeal, with equally small sized pieces of the liver, moistened with enough of the fat and the stock just to be soft and cohere, but not mushy.

Traditional accompaniments are bashed neeps (mashed yellow swede turnip) and chappit tatties (mashed potatos and butter).

And a dram or three

[Steve Martin]

Chappit means chopped.

This exquisite delicacy is often served with chappit neeps and bashed potatoes.

It helps to be extremely drunk or extremely Scottish. Probably both.

[jackal10]

Chappit means chopped.

This exquisite delicacy is often served with chappit neeps and bashed potatoes.

It helps to be extremely drunk or extremely Scottish.  Probably both.

You are right. I stand corrected.

[Stone]

How'd you shoot?

101 (41-60). My worst round in two and a half years, including a back with an eight, a ten and a thirteen. I'd love to blame the night previous for the score (believe me, I would), but it had absolutely sweet F.A. to do with it. The guy I was playing against and his memory lapses when counting shots, however, might have contributed to some variety of anger...would you believe my other rounds on the weekend were 81 and 82, and somehow my handicap stayed in single digits? :)

Maggie - I'm convinced this was a really, really crap example of food that could be great. That's why I'm asking about it...I want to try this done right!

I spent a week in the Bahamas and shot in the 80's five days in a row. Came back here, and couldn't hit the ball straight for the life of me. And I know I didn't have any haggis.

Oh, and getting back on topic -- what makes you think haggis has to be better than what you had? Just because a bunch of tough-guys with their chests stuck out tell you how wonderful haggis, tripe, guts, and offal are, why believe them? There's a reason no one with more than $1 in their pocket eats that shit any more. It sucks.

(Just kidding. Kind of.)

Edited June 10, 2003 by Stone (log)

[Adam Balic]

Haggis can be quite a nice sausage. It was a reputation that way out of proportion to to what it actually tastes like. The flavour should be mild and, hopefully, peppery. Most Haggis here (Edinburgh, Scotland) would most likely be consumed as a deep fried saugase version for a Fish and Chip shop.

Due to its fearsome reputation (largely put about by the Scots), complete rubbish versions are common, eg. it tastes like shit, because is 'ment' too, which is utter crap.

A Big Mac tastes for a hell of a lot worse then a decent haggis.

[fresco]

"A Big Mac tastes for a hell of a lot worse then a decent haggis."

Someone named McDonald should open a haggis shop and adopt this as their motto.

[britcook]

Haggis, which even at its best cannot be described as a gourmet dish, is best experienced with a "wee dram" of Scotland's finest drink. Now whether this is because there is some subtle interplay between the two which enhances the flavour of the bag o' guts or the Scotch merely numbs the taste buds I wouldn't like to speculate. Besides which, if you really don't like haggis (a faction which must surely include the majority of the world's population), then at least you can enjoy the whisky.

[Steve Martin]

"A Big Mac tastes for a hell of a lot worse then a decent haggis."

Someone named McDonald should open a haggis shop and adopt this as their motto.

They would be sued or bombed.

[fresco]

From the Haggis Haiku site:

http://users.aol.com/tychocat/web/haggishaiku.html

"McDonald's haggis?

Tis aye mickle guid until

much dosed with ketchup"

[Adam Balic]

Haggis, which even at its best cannot be described as a gourmet dish, is best experienced with a "wee dram" of Scotland's finest drink. Now whether this is because there is some subtle interplay between the two which enhances the flavour of the bag o' guts or the Scotch merely numbs the taste buds I wouldn't like to speculate. Besides which, if you really don't like haggis (a faction which must surely include the majority of the world's population), then at least you can enjoy the whisky.

Even Black pudding can be a gourmet dish these days and God knows that there are enough resturants in Edinburgh serving decontructed haggis or contructed into cones a towers etc to qualify as 'gourmet' . Venison haggis is quite good and I have recipe for goose haggis that I should try one day.