Dos Hermanos

[Simon Majumdar]

After a rather bruising four cities in seven days tour of the East Coast of the US, the chance of joining my older and ever estimable brother for a four day jaunt to Madrid was too good to pass up.

First some observations

1) Madrilenos seem to have no sense of direction and are constantly bumping into you and each other like they were playing a game of human pinball

2) The best waiters/barmen in Madrid are the grumpiest and should always be wearing oversized white jackets and bow ties ( This is known as “Robin’s Rule”)

3) Madrid is not “cheap” Cheaper than London certainly ( but where isn’t?) but the cooking is honest and portions ample

4) There is only one Starbucks in the whole of Madrid. Why? The simple fact that even the smallest, grimiest café would not dare to serve bad coffee.

5) My spelling of Spanish names is as approximate as my guess at my weight increase after the trip

6) Spain really needs to kidnap some pastry chefs from France

7) Iberian Airlines is about as welcoming as a Gulag

THURSDAY

Arriving on separate flights ( for insurance reasons Majumdars are not allowed to travel on the same flight ) we found our way to a small, basic but entirely harmless hotel on the Calle Salud and decided to head straight out to try some of the local bars and Siderias. We had both managed to avoid eating the “something in foil” that was offered on the plane and were starving.

First port of call was the largest of the Museo De Jamon chain close to Sol ( I think there are five. We visited three of them, all excellent )where a plate of Iberico ham and manchego was served with a pinchot of morchilla and two cana’s. The manchego was nondescript, but the ham ( in this case not the belotta ) was very good indeed.

Next stop was Orejas Del Oro. A small bar serving ( as the name suggests ) Pig’s ear amongst other things. We ordered a plate of this with some pimento padron a copa of wine. The ears were shredded and cooked “a la plancha” they were, at the same time gelatinous and crisp. The pimenton were small green peppers rolled in salt and cooked whole. They were soft and sweet. I am told that there is the occasional hot one in the pile and it is a Madrileno equivalent of Russian roulette.

Onwards and upwards, the next stop was a fairly ordinary boquorenes with a tooth rottingly sweet draft vermut. I tried this a couple of times, but never really developed a taste for it

On to a Sideria ( El Tigres ) for, er, well cider. Crisp and dry and served with a wonderful tortilla. Soft in the middle but with a bite to it

Finally and slightly inappropriately in terms of the time of day, we headed for some pre- dinner churros and chocolate at Valor. Perfectly OK, but not the best of our visit.

After a pre-dinner nap, we headed off to what became my favourite haunt of the trip. La Velencia, a small dilapidated sherry bar on Calle Echegaray which served an excellent selection ( with the exception of the fino which was nondescript ).

Another pre dinner drink ( and pincho of superb empanada’s with tomato and tuna ) at a nearby bar led us to our first “restaurant” meal of the trip. The highly recommended Asador de Fronton which specialises in Basque grilling. We arrived at the very beginning of service at around 9.30pm but by 9.45 the place was packed. We started with Peppers roasted and dressed in oil. Simple but delicious while Robin had the first of about 12 plates of Iberico Bellota of the trip. We followed with one of the best beef ribs for two I have ever tasted. Cooked perfectly and just served in its juices. Robin compared it to Pete Luger’s. We both loved the “ No muss, no fuss” approach where you order beef, you get beef. No sides, not nothing. Fantastic. We had two wines, a very good Pesquera (EU25 ) and a Riscal ( EU13 ) This was followed by an inordinately large Jaime I

Another Grand Duque D’alba and a Café Solo later we staggered off to bed pretty sure Madrid had been a good decision

FRIDAY

I think it is fair to say that we felt a little “tired and emotional” the next morning so after a restorative chocolate, we headed for The Prado and the calming effects of the Bosch paintings!!! But first, was my introduction to Velasquez. Who knew? The royal portraits are just stunning.

After the Prado and a welcome stroll in the Retiro, we headed up on what became a route march to our next major meal. Robin had booked Asador De Aranda in the Plaze Del Castilla. This is some 5 miles North of the city past the Real Madrid Football ground. After a few miles, we wussed out and got a cab and arrived at our destination ( near the main northern bus station ) ready for action. Just as well because the action was bloody fantastic. Aranda specialises in cordero ( Lechel Lamb ) and we ordered a quarto or quarter to share. We prefaced this with starters of Chitterlings in a tomato sauce, morcilla stuffed with rice and shredded suet like fat and kidneys and sweetbreads. The kidneys were sensational with a crisp layer of fat protecting the moist insides. The lamb when it came was beyond belief good. The skin was crisp and well seasoned and the flesh moist and delicious. We ended up gnawing on bones for about 15 minutes after we finished everything else. We wased it down with a jug of the house wine which did not kill us, unlike the rough Orujo Herbias they gave us with our bill.

More nappage had to follow our cab ride to the hotel, but by 9pm we were showered and ready again ( love this city ) and headed out to Salamanca for supper. Pre dinner cana’s at a Galician place saw pincho of a cockle salad and more empenada. Both very good

We then headed to the most expensive meal of the trip at a recommended seafood restaurant called La Trainera. After two more glasses of manzanilla, we started with an decent Gambas Ajillo and an excellent Sopa Del Products del Mar. Based on an excellent stock, this was one of the highlights of the trip for me. For main courses we ordered lenguardo ( Sole ) and merluze ( Hake ) both cooked “ a la plancha” again served simply with a green salad. The Albarino Valdamor 2000 we had with it was wonderful and suited well.

Puddings were pointless and best forgotten.

SATURDAY

Saturday was a day of wandering in the pouring rain and dipping in and out of as many places as took our fancy. Avoiding the grim places around the Plaza Mayor, we returned for some more pig’s ear action at El Orejas Del Oro and then across to one of Madrids best known bars El Abuelo which served prawns in one of two way, Ajillo ( with Garlic, chilli and parsley) and A La Plancha, grilled on the hot plate. The prawns were staggeringly fresh and not cheap which is understandable given that Madrid is landlocked and all fish is brought in fresh every day. The wine they serve with it is really quite nasty. We also managed to fit in a another plate of Belotta, some croquetta, some Calamari and innumerable copas of this and cana’s of the other before we headed out for the serious supper time crawl

I loved the Madrileno way of eating and the evening was a blur of Meatballs, Lomo, cecina ( beef ) and more prawns at Abuleo and sweetbreads at The Pig’s Ear. After a final triple Torres, I retired to bed happy at about 2am ( about the time most people in Madrid are just getting started. If only life could always be this way and if only my kidneys didn’t grumble quite so much

Oh, the hot chocolate at Gitines ( by all accounts a legend in the town) was the best I have ever, ever had

SUNDAY

Sunday was tourist day.

A quick walk through the entirely unpleasant Rastro Market ( named after the trails of blood streaming down the hill from the slaughterhouse ) was followed by the obligatory visit to see Guernica at the Reine Sofia. The visit to see this was given an added dimension by the fact that outside the gallery 100,000 people were marching in an anti-government rally. Taken as I was with the main attraction, I was most enraptured by the cubist work of Juan Gris. Sensational

Lunch was at a tourist institution in Madrid, La Bola. Both and visitors flock here on Sunday as it the only day they make Cocido Madrileno, the dish of Madrid. A slow cooked stew of chickpeas with beef chicken and pork ( a one pot potluck supper ) The broth is served first and then the stew afterwards. This was one of the few dud notes for me of the whole trip. The place was hellish, the table we had worse and the food ordinary. Robin enjoyed his Cocido more than I did. I found it underspiced and bland, but since that is the nature of the dish, it is my failing not theirs. The Vina Mayor we had with it worked very well though. All in all a disappointment

By this time it is fair to say we were beginning to feel a little jaded and had to gird our loins for the final assault. Only two sherrys at La Venecia ( our fourth visit ) before heading to dinner. Botins is reputedly the oldest restaurant in Spain and therefore is a huge attraction to visitors. We noticed that the diners were a pretty equal mix of locals and visitors and the fact that it was a tourist enclave did not mean it was bad. It reminded me of eating at Rules in London. We had booked as its speciality is suckling pig and huge numbers of the small porkers give their lived over to being crackled in the wood burning fires of this restaurant and it is definitely worth their sacrifice. We started with salad and a superb morcilla and a horrid salad. Both of us then followed with pig action and it was delicious. The thin layer of skin was crisp and crackly and covered a moist fatty slab of meat. Served on its own, the brit in me screamed out for apple sauce, but it worked as it was without aid nor seasoning.

After post piggy Orujo and coffees, we went off for our last Grand Duque D’albas of the trip and decided that both we and our inner organs needed some rest.

MONDAY

An early start to the airport. Arriving home in the early afternoon, Robin went straight to rehab, me for a colonic irrigation.

Madrid is one of those cities you want to return to almost as soon as you get home and I am certain I will

S

Edited February 26, 2003 by Simon Majumdar (log)

[Bux]

)    Madrilenos seem to have no sense of direction and are constantly bumping into you and each other like they were playing a game of human pinball

2)    The best waiters/barmen in Madrid are the grumpiest and should always be wearing oversized white jackets and bow ties ( This is known as ?Robin?s Rule?)

3)    Madrid is not ?cheap?  Cheaper than London certainly ( but where isn?t?) but the cooking is honest and portions ample

4)    There is only one Starbucks in the whole of Madrid.  Why? The simple fact that even the smallest, grimiest café would not dare to serve bad coffee.

5)  My spelling of Spanish names is as approximate as my guess at my weight increase after the trip

6)    Spain really needs to kidnap some pastry chefs from France

1) So the Spanish women are real head turners and you could never watch where you're going.

3) It's taken me a long time to adust to the fact that Spain is no longer cheap and hasn't been for years. The food seems to be a good buy.

4) I am ready to believe that Italy will succumb to Starbucks before Spain. My wife usually drinks cafe con leche and I almost always have cafe solo, but we agree that Spanish coffee is superb.

6) Spanish desserts can be interesting, but until this century, I don't think they've developed much since the Arabs were driven out. Spanish pastry has been an especially weak point in my mind. I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of new stuff all over the country inspired by what's going on in Catalonia these days.

Tapas served in the bars ringing the Plaza Mayor are terrible, but some of the best in Madrid can be found in the little bars in the first ring of streets around the plaza. Many, if not most or all, of these places serve one variety of foodstuff--mushrooms, ham, seafood, tortilla, etc.

I've been told (not by anyone on this board) that the ham at the Museo De Jamon chain, is crap. From that I can only deduce that the lowest level of ham in Madrid would be prime stuff in NY.

[KatieLoeb]

Arriving on separate flights ( for insurance reasons Majumdars are not allowed to travel on the same flight )

Is this a requirement of your insurance company, or the airlines?

Just curious...

[Wilfrid]

Excellent, I must go tomorrow. Orejas d'Oro is a fantastic name for a bar. Is it the Euro which has made things expensive? I think I was last in Spain when pesetas were still permitted, and it was cheap enough then (er, I think there's a thread about it here somewhere).

I was begining to worry about your aesthetic judgment, what with Robertson Davies and Gilbert and George, but you're right about Velasquez. We've 'ad a few of 'is daubs through New York over the last couple of years, and 'e's the guv'nor.

[Elissa]

Did you see any Flamenco? Go to the Cock? El Chicote? There's a great New Yorican trombone player there, Jerry Gonzalez.

Edited February 25, 2003 by lissome (log)

[Tonyfinch]

Heroic work,boys. I especially like the moment when you were feeling the pace but slogged on regardless. It shows character. It shows resolve. Damn it, it makes one proud to be British.

Edited February 25, 2003 by Tonyfinch (log)

[Simon Majumdar]

Tapas served in the bars ringing the Plaza Mayor are terrible, but some of the best in Madrid can be found in the little bars in the first ring of streets around the plaza. Many, if not most or all, of these places serve one variety of foodstuff--mushrooms, ham, seafood, tortilla, etc.

I've been told (not by anyone on this board) that the ham at the Museo De Jamon chain, is crap. From that I can only deduce that the lowest level of ham in Madrid would be prime stuff in NY.

Agreed, the bars around Plaza Mayor are awful and to be avoided. Further out a block or so and they improve a great deal

The bellotta at the Museo is far from crap, but I am sure there is better to be had. it is certainly a lot better than you get in London

S

[Roger]

I think bars that are part of a chain such as 'El Museo del Jamón' tend to lose out both in character and often what they serve. The joy of tapas bars is diversity. Like most good restaurants having the owner of a bar working there makes a difference. I haven´t eaten in 'El Museo del Jamón' for years but remember eating some absolutely crap ham on one occasion but rather good jamón ibérico de bellota on another. True acorn-fed iberian ham should be good even in the worst of bars.

[Roger]

I should add to my last comment about ham that it is not just the quality of the product that matters but the skill of the person who cuts the ham. In too many places fine ham is ruined by it being cut too thickly often converting one of the world´s great culinary treasures into something that is rather chewy. Some of the bars I know, where they pride themselves on the quality of their ham, only allow one or two people to do the cutting. For the rest of the staff it is strictly prohibited

[Adam Balic]

Goodness, you lads have eaten more meat in seven days then I have in a year. Apart from you two, is Madrid full of gouty types?

[Simon Majumdar]

I should add to my last comment about ham that it is not just the quality of the product that matters but the skill of the person who cuts the ham. In too many places fine ham is ruined by it being cut too thickly often converting one of the world´s great culinary treasures into something that is rather chewy. Some of the bars I know, where they pride themselves on the quality of their ham, only allow one or two people to do the cutting.  For the rest of the staff it is strictly prohibited

I think this is absolutely the point. The Museo's that we visited ( on more than one occasion ) the same person was cutting the ham. When we had the Iberico, it was a little thicker than I have had in London, but the Bellota was perfectly cut

Adam- It is no surprise to me that Spain has one of the highest instances of gout in Europe. Added to the meat eating I did for 7 days in the US and the eating I am about to do in Paris, I suspect I will be chewing on Viox for a few weeks afterwards

S

[Elissa]

not just the quality of the product that matters but the skill of the person who cuts the ham. In too many places fine ham is ruined by it being cut too thickly often converting one of the world´s great culinary treasures into something that is rather chewy.

Watching the Ham Maestros work can indeed tranxfix, especially if you are propped up at the bar at 4 am after a couple none too few. As your skilled, ancient hamcraftsman turns tenderly to his work, his finesse can silience the room, in spite of the mulitudes - men in blue overalls, British football fans and german quadrilles - with which it teems. He picks up the blade (surely this ham knive has a special name? It seems sacriligious even to call it a knife) and reduces the known world to nothing more than the pierna in front of him and the axis' subtle twist. The skinny slices he lovingly follows off the leg to the plate with the tip of his sword as they fall are treated with an awe even maggiethecat could appreciate: the very manna of the earth gently rent from the leg of God himself.*

Brazilian Rodizios have taken this dance to another level altogether, as they dress their meat slicers up in torero costumes and prance them around the room in sequines while they slice. It has been said that the Flaming Shashlick of Goa takes its cue from here too.

btw:

Remelluri

*new thread: pigs in religion

[Roger]

In Spain during the Christmas period one of the most common reasons that people are taken to accident and emergency departments is for injuries that have been sustained while cutting ham.

[Simon Majumdar]

Is this while cutting the ham improperly or for suggesting that the person cutting the ham was doing so improperly??

S

[Roger]

It depends on who has drunk the most fino

[Bux]

I have found it interesting that while the Italians are very proud of their mechanical slicers--ask Mario Batali and other restaurateurs in NY who have trusty imported, if not vintage, slicers--Spaniards insist that a ham be hand sliced for maximum quality.

[Roger]

Deboned ham can be cut using a slicer. However, with the ham on the bone it would be very difficult due to irregular shape, the cutting of fine ham in small pieces etc. Also, if I´m not mistaken Italian ham is cut sideways and not the front and back of the leg. which may make the task of mechanical cutting easier.