jayrayner

Just looked at it. It starts in the third person plural - 'these men', 'they order' - and half way through para one, swaps to first person plural - 'we managed...' becoming inclusive. I was both part of the four friends at the beginning, and the narrator of their exploits, further on. Here endeth the lesson (in how to write the over-wrought)

And this is only the first of Gary's favourite restaurants that I've reviewed. He just happened to get dragegd along to the box tree.

Well, I was going to add my thoughts but...

Thank you chaps. As my first post says, I already knew it was a four star system and which those four stars are but was having problems making the system work to show me which the three stars are (until mr Lynes took me by the hand). Just want to have them to hand to compare and contrast further down the Michelin rankings. And I think that list of yours makes five four stars. Look at me show off: can't make the NYT site work but I can count up to five.

Well, you did need to lose the weight. ← er...er.... I know you are. (This is so much more fun than working.)

Not to mention being a jolly good mate and valued collaborator of yours, eh luvvy? Whereas we Daily Mirror readers will swallow any old self-serving bollocks you care to push? At least Piers is a journalist, not a PR man, and he's not related by marriage to the world's most powerful newspaper proprietor (although the jury's still out on his professional ethics) As an Observer journalist, you'd know all about that. Like most discerning readers, I no longer bother with your woeful rag, since the unholy triumvirate of Cohen/Rawnsley/Aaronovitch started telling me that Tony Bliar's adventures in Iraq are only right and proper. But I'm sure the quality of your restaurant criticism remains undiminished by any real world considerations. ← I am, naturally, gutted.

That would all be true were it not for the fect that Clement was one of the very first of the modern restaurant critics in Britian, in Punch and elsewhere and has more than earned the right to do the job. As to press gazette the main owner is Piers Morgan, former editor of the Daily Mirror. Does this bother me? Not particularly because, you know, journalists are pretty good at spotting bias in a journal aimed at them, and if it were to turn into some ludicrous propoganda sheet it would very soon die a death.

thanking you kindly. one day I'll learn how to use technology.

Ahead of next weeks' Michelin launch, I'm trying to track down a list of the current NYT three stars (have already got the fours.) Anybody seen such a thig on line anywhere..?

Difficult to say because I try to avoid going to restaurants in the first week of opening, even when my professional hat is on. I can say that I was very surprised that someone with Wahhab's far-sightedness and vast experience (I'm aware of much of what has been noted above, which makes him sound cynical when in fact he's a marketing genius and only doing what a good restaurateur who wants to get the punters in *should* do...employing Ben Maschler and plying critics is par - it's the critics you should be lambasting, for accepting freebies and responding with slobber, if that's what they have done - not Wahhab...) would not have had everything exactly down pat before even a soft-opening. I do know that any respectable critic would have noticed at least the bumps I noticed, and there were probably other glitches too. I haven't read the reviews though so I don't know if they were from written from the free meal-and-alcohol-soaked heights of cloud-cuckoo-land... ← Everything you describe is why I would never review on a soft opening, nor - and don't take this the wrong way - pay the slightest bit of attention to anything that I heard had occurred during one. No, it doesn't sound good. But they still have time to get their shit together.

No, I got both servings and still thought it on the ungenerous side for £17. God knows what the GP is at that place, particularly as there's next to no waste. Oh, and the chips really were lousy.

The problem is, according to Jay, that this is not as 'viable' as the latest tomfoolery of Gordon, Jamie and Heston. Sad. ← I said nothing of the sort. I was merely countering Conor's assertion that the magazine has a 'responsibility' to do a certain thing. You can, of course, criticise a business for the way it conducts itself and argue that it could do its thing much better. I make a good living out of that. But claiming they have a responsibility to do so is just cobblers. Believe me: I get constant emails from readers who say restaurants have a responsibility to serve dishes appropriate to vegetarians/ vegans, coeliacs whatever. And, in the same way, I explain they have no responsibility to them at all. They are businesses with a responsibility only to themselves. Incidentally, you can be certain that every single decision RM took when it launched was absed on circulation figures. That's how magazine and newspaper publishing works.

Nope. Magazines are not a public service. They have no 'responsibility' to anyone in the way you define it. Their job is to find a readership, keep publishing and produce enough revenue to make that viable. Whether you want to be a part of that readership is an entirely different matter.

Which is why, after nearly 20 years in journalism, I have literally written for every section of newspapers for which it is possible to write - except sport.

yes

Second time in a week: Observer readers are already accusing me of being a homophobe for suggesting that only a ladyboy would order from the ordinary cantonese menu. Of course, my comment does not indicate that I discriminate against the gay community. Only aganist Ladyboys. Like Gary Marshall.

And here, I think, we have identified the difference between you and me. When thinking about food, I grope towards notions of filthy sex. You think about cricket.

You went to Red Chilli and had that? It's like visiting an experienced hooker and, after listening to everything that's on offer, opting to have a cuddle.

That's a defamation of my good character. It was at least ten minutes, though there was a certain amount of staring wistfully out of windows. I mean, Jesus - it was only the one truffle.

Let me clarify that this is Diane responding to my PM thanking here for the book suggestions. ← (urk) Apologies. Late night at the pub, laptop in bed, cat on laptop, the usual... Best! D. ← Clement is a national British institution, much like the clock at Waterloo station that people arrange to meet under. He's been, variously, politician, chef (starting at the Dorchester sometime before the half time whistle in the last century), restaurateur, TV cook, restaurant reviewer (punch, and elsewhere), mordant wit and broadcaster, but not necessarily in that order. He's been a regular guest on the food quiz on Radio 4 that I've had the pleasure to present for the past few years, and has always sung for his supper. He is, in short, a total pro, and even if there might be the occasional tendency to slip gently into his anecdotage, It's grand to see him back in the saddle. (I believe he did have something to do with race horses once as well, come to think of it.)

Oh god I remember. Frankly, I was staggered they let you two in... as to the photos, I cunningly allow myself to look unfeasibly unattractive so at to protect my anonymity.

I hear he was drop dead gorgeous, the kind of chap women want to have and men want to be. ← It was you, wasn't it? ← Clearly you recognised me from the description. Which is to say, yes

What did you have? I've only eaten in the restaurant once; I tend to pillage the take away for ribs and chicken j

I hear he was drop dead gorgeous, the kind of chap women want to have and men want to be. ← Giles Coren? ← Must be him.

I hear he was drop dead gorgeous, the kind of chap women want to have and men want to be.