chefmatt

euphorium?

chez max?

bibendum?

avoid the 14th like the plague. also atmospehere tends to be shit because they are all twos staring into eachother's eyes. the restaurants escalate their prices and push covers because the only table of 6 you will get is a table of swingers! in the good places 13th and 15th will be very busy and so will the following weekend. get some nice lamb chops, new potatoes and some purple sprouting broccoli, spend the money you would save on some vintage champagne and some nice burgundy. Get a pot of haagen daaz (crumble some dime bars or amaretti over the top) for dessert and bob's your uncle. if you can't cook then i am sure vintage champagne would hold up to a take away pizza!

avoid the 14th like the plague. also atmospehere tends to be shit because they are all twos staring into eachother's eyes. the restaurants escalate their prices and push covers because the only table of 6 you will get is a table of swingers! in the good places 13th and 15th will be very busy and so will the following weekend. get some nice lamb chops, new potatoes and some purple sprouting broccoli, spend the money you would save on some vintage champagne and get a pot of haagen daaz for dessert, bob's your uncle. if you can't cook then i am sure vintage champagne would hold up to a take away pizza!

instead of a list of michelin inspectors we have a list of ex-soviet spies to look out for!! i think you can get polonium from wild harvest but it is very dear this year due to high demand! nobody is in the dining room is the answer, and that's not naebody, but nobody. we need to get away from the whole Ukrainian/russian image otherwise it will never be a success.

I think that has to be Matt that beat you all to the post, yes a list of the square signatures, over to you.

no

crab lasagne herb crusted saddle of lamb prune and armagnac souffle sorry don't know the full descriptions but this should be enough to be getting on with.

thats exactly when i went

pied a terre?

of course credit where credit is due.

oh no, that was the only dish i was going to keep on except we were going to leave the garlic cloves whole, i don't believe in fiddling with things too much. i love lardo so i had pecilled in this dish: Thinly sliced lardo melted onto hot crostini with parsley salad and olive oil

i know nothing of this x factor you speak of!! i am chef, don't watch telly!

i googled the dessert and got stannleylands hotel!!! a bit of plagiarism going on in the kitchen of the north!!

hmmmm we are trying to change that! what do you think i know about ukrainian food?

he he, doesn't sound very appetising to me! i hope i haven't upset anyone.

a bit of news. anyone who has been to divo will probably not have had the most memorable of meals. I am now involved with Chris Barber and Nigel Sutcliffe to revamp the place. don't come just yet it is not quite finalised and i am in the process of trying to find the right person to head up the kitchen but i will keep you posted.

oh too good ykl, i thought i would have you all going for a while on that one. one of the best meals of my life apart from the dodgy black squid ink bread.

french

I apologise in advance for the translations: Artichoke puree, sage sorbet langoustine and mousseron ravioli, black truffle sauce Glazed sweetbread, peas, broad beans, lemon grass sauce mille-feuille of candied grapefruit with citrus sherbet

well technically i don't work there anymore as i left on friday after 8 years but it is still my food, Chez Bruce.

am i allowed to play?

its my menu!!!

lets all burn our michelin guides!