KaffirLime

No probs Marlyn - thanks for the mention!

They are running at about four weeks at the moment. I phoned last week and got a table for Sat 23 April (lunch). The review of my last mea at Le Champignon is posted here (along with about eight other reviews): http://www.birminghamplus.com/reviews/revi...6&iid=422&uid=6

Er...Do I detect you're not from the Midlands Dirk?

Thanks Newsgirl! On a (sort of) related topic (in that it's just as quirky as a one table restaurant) there is a Thai restaurant in Birmingham called Siam which is run by daughter front of house and mother (who must be approaching 80) cooking in the kitchen. They do have several tables and even do an a la carte menu but you can't choose of the menu on the night. The required form is to check the menu on their website and email your order no later than 24 hours beforehand! That must make for brilliant stock control and you would think, with twenty four hours notice of what's required the chef would be able to come up with some pretty special dishes. Unfortunately on the one occasion I ate there I had the second worst Thai meal i've ever eaten (for anyone who is interested the honour of providing the worst meal goes to Bann Thai in Hagley).

No shows must be a tad on the dissapointing side at such a restaurant!

Just to add to my post above, i've just looked at their site and discovered that they now also buy in chocolates from French and Belgian artisans but i'm sure the quality is just as good!

If you want to be absolutely sure of surprising your friends with something they won't have seen try Chouchoute: http://www.chouchoute.co.uk/ This is an independent shop run by a young couple in Birmingham. All the chocolates are handmade by them and i'm sure they would mail order.

Here's another snippet for Jamie taken from Lorne Jackson's review of the Birmingham La Tasca in last weeks Sunday Mercury (February 27): "The Pollo Al Ajillo - chicken breast cooked in white wine and garlic - was bland as a newsletter published by the National Association of Actuaries, stringy as a supermodel's biceps". Or how about some of his descriptions of other dishes: Tortilla Espanola - Potatotally amazing Champignones Ajillo - Champion chomp Cordero En Salsa - Baa baa bland Pan Fresco - Dough-licious Priceless, absolutley priceless! The Sunday Mercury is the largest regional Sunday paper in the UK but you'd think this guy was writing for Kerrang or Sweet Sixteen.

Rumour has it that the next motoring journalist for the Birmingham Post will only have a licence to drive automatics but they are keen to stress that this will in no way affect the quality of car reviews as the journalist will always take along a friend with a full licence...."My friend said the Perodua handled beautifully in the wet and from my position in the passenger seat it certainly seemed to do so...." Coming soon a new weekly gardening column from the Post's very own agoraphobic landscaper

Part of the problem in Birmingham is not so much the dearth of good reviewers but the lack of importance attached to reviewing restaurants by the media (which in Birmingham's case equates to Trinity Mirror who have a monopoly). The Birmingham Evening Mail (main evening paper) relegates Paul Fulford's column to the Saturday edition when their readership is about 12 if all the staff buy one and Joe public have already decided where to eat that weekend. The Birmingham Post buy their reviews in off a freelancer (the aforementioned veggie who normally tries to squeeze the sentence "my friend said the steak was very good" into all reviews) and until recently the Sunday Mercury didn't have a dedicated critic - rather you got the impression that the job was given over to any staffer who ate out the previous week. The Sunday Mercury now have someone called Lorne Jackson who I think does the job to pay the rent whilst waiting to break into stand-up. He had this to say about Bank in yesterday's edition: "All sleek, slippery surfaces, this bar-dinner is big, bold and most definitely bling. If Bank were a necklace you just know pop star Beyonce would be wearing it. Bank may look the part, but Riki and i still had to discover if the food was as juicy and ripe as another part of Beyonce's fabled package". I'm sure I don't need to go on but I can't resist his comments on the seabass: "My scaly seabass scaled the heights of perfection. Crunch-crisp on the outside, its flesh, flaky middle was as light and fluffy as a joke on children's TV". I should perhaps mention that the average readership age of the Sunday Mercury is 45+. Their readers must be scratching their heads wondering what the hell this guy is talking about but what are the Sunday Mercury playing at by printing this stuff? It strikes me that they don't care and just want to fill column inches. But did Lorne Like Bank? You betcha - Over to you Lorne: "Both our palates had been plunged into a pleasing pit of pleasure and passion". Well, what's a review without a good 'andful of alliteration!

That's a very familiar lighthouse! Dad....?

Surprised you forgot sk8erboy, AKA Chris Beanland, who has landed the job of restaurant reviewer for the Birmingham Metro a mere nappy change after being weaned off Farley's