Varmint

Jo, you'll have to do that commentary on the State Fair for me. I'm hoping our kids don't remember that the Fair is coming to town again. You'll find pictures of Al Dente posted above. He was indeed here on Saturday, lusting after Malawry's hush puppies. This was the day after he lusted after the raw pig. He's a lustful man, indeed, but a good man. And he did bring and play a CD with "Dueling Banjos" on it. I attempted a nice jig.

I just did a quick calculation, and we had approximately 110 people attend. We had the following states/countries represented: North Carolina Virginia Maryland Georgia Pennsylvania New Jersey New York Connecticut Maine Illinois California South Carolina West Virginia United States Canada England Scotland There will be no encore in the foreseeable future. I am now returning to my life as a dad, husband, and attorney (with an occasional post or two here on eGullet).

Or you can just visit your local Niman Ranch pig farmer!!!

The woman is indeed a saint -- particularly when you consider she doesn't even eat pork or any other red meat. I think I need to eat a salad now.

The pies were OK, elyse, but not like yours, of course! The dessert highlights were really the coconut and caramel cakes made by my sister-in-law. She also made a kick-ass raspberry cheesecake. Of course, she made 3 apple pies, 2 chocolate bourbon pecan pies, and 2 lemon chess pies. Weebl would have been proud. Joler and Weka both made fantastic bread puddings. I, the dumb ass that I am, forgot to get Joler's bread pudding out on the dessert table. However, that wasn't totally unintentional, as it's now mine!!!!! Of course, the absolute best dessert was the nanner puddin' that 3 of my children taught Malawry how to make.

Shaky is my friend. Heh heh . . . . heh heh.

All is quiet on the Varmint front. Normalcy has returned. My wife still loves me. No one got hurt. After 3 days of eating, cooking, eating, cooking and a bit of drinking, I now ask myself, what am I going to make for dinner??? Thanks to everyone for their support. I'm not sure I'll ever get the energy up to do the eGCI, but we'll see. It was a blast, but I'm tired now. Plus, I have to pressure wash the grease off the tennis court.

When one considers the cumulative distance travelled by the attendees, this was indeed an enormous event. It was covered by the local press, and the photographer told me that he hasn't had an assignment this enjoyable in years. He even took home a bone for his dog. We did have an attendee from Scotland and one from California, but Tarka travelled here solely for this event. Tarka is indeed, quite dreamy. Off to the in-laws for barbecue sandwiches, VD stew, and lotsa desserts.

The eGullet people, particularly Guajolote, easily ate twice as much. G-man ate enough for a family of 8.

The turnout was something like 90 to 100, including children. From eGullet, including their guests, we had about 35. The threat of rain kept people away, and we did have a fair number of last minute cancellations. Hey, it just means I get to eat some barbecue for a few days!

I was fairly busy yesterday, so I didn't get as many different shots as I would have liked. Hopefully, others can add some. Plus, the quality of the shots suffered yesterday, as I wasn't as focused (pun intended) as I would have liked to have been. I'll post some photos now and if I have time later today, I'll add some descriptions. I do want everyone to know that the group of eGullet people that converged on the Varmint household was the absolute best. We've had a great time, and y'all are welcome here anytime!!! Aurora peeling potato after potato after potato after . . . sashorter and a mound o' collards. The Dangerous Duo from Philly. Joler not sure she knows what to do with the bunny. Prep for Guajolote's awesome hanger steak with basil, candied tomatoes, and other stuff. Mummer and Clara. Better than Steve and Edie any day. That's SPATCHCOCK to you!!! Guests of Honor: Wade Cole and his friend Margaret. Raiser of pig. Hungry Chris Fat back and bacon. Mmmmmmm. Collards with fat back and bacon. Tarka and friend!!!!!! Starting to pick the pig. Tenderloin ready for chopping. Eastern style barbecue Western style barbecue =Mark's most excellent 'shrooms, dude. Al Dente really, really wants some of Malawry's hush puppies. They were kick ass pups! Tommy is such a dumb ass. This pig is done.

AAh, hell, to think we in the South really know French is comical indeed!!! I got 7 hours of sleep. Good thing we still have more of Guajolote's coffee left! Lunch today will be barbecue sandwiches with slaw and some most excellent VD Stew. I have never, ever had a Brunswick Stew that ever came close to being as good as this one. And even better, if I fed this to 20 NC barbecue afficionados, 19 of them would easily say that it's Brunswick Stew. Fucking awesome Brunswick Stew at that! Oh, and we have a bit of dessert left, too!

I promise to post some pictures tomorrow. However, after two crappy hours of sleep last night, I need to get some sleep. However, what I really need to do is brush my teeth -- they feel as if they're wearing sweaters. Good night. Varmint's Pig Pickin' has left the building.

We in the South love Grant Wood. American Gothic is the quintessential American painting, and Guajolote and Maggiethecat would have made Grant very, very proud:

Web cam never got hooked up. Sorry about that y'all. The party continues, but I do not. I'm going to take a nap. Dessert has been eaten and Dave's VD stew isn't done yet!!! Looks like that'll be the late night staff meal tonight. I'll post pictures later. Oh, and yes, it was fun!!! And everyone who came is great.

That's actually the second oldest L'il Varmint! The crew has taken over my kitchen. I love it. I need some coffee.

Mummer is rockin' da house! Pig at 5 AM. It was the best of times. . . . but it was lonely. The L'il Varmints teaching Malawry a thing or two about making nanner puddin'. *Cue up Deep Purple* Smoke on the Tennis Court, Fire in the Pit. This is a big pig. Notice my great concentration. The piece de resistance! (or however you spell it!) Scott Shorter did the 2:30 to 5:00 shift. Scott Shorter gets rib.

There hasn't been much sleeping tonight, as it's 5:05. The crew has done an awesome job with the pig, keeping it between 200 - 250 degrees F. Scott Shorter has been manning the pit the last two hours, and I'm taking out an IPA to him -- nothing like beer for breakfast.

hjshorter sez, "Rock On"!!! The crew who kicked me out of my kitchen: Malawry, Dave the Cook, edemuth, Guajolote KatieLoeb and her limoncello. Mmmmmmm. =Mark moving a log, a smoky one at that. Al_Dente and his girls. See how hard his nipples are??? Puttin' da pig on da grill.

Pig will not be named. Bunnies are another matter altogether, however. Pig went on the cooker at 10:45 EDT. Will try to post a picture or two.

Hey, everybody! Elyse says heah! Philly crew made it, along with Al Dente. Aurora has landed, but has yet to arrive here at the Domaine de Varmint. We're eating Marlene's butter tarts, a Canadian specialty. They don't suck. Fire is still not ready. Pig to go on in 30 minutes. . . . . . . . .

=Mark and his brother Rich have the fires going in both cookers. The tub has been drained. Guajolote, Malawry, Dave the Cook, edemuth and others have been very active in MY kitchen, and it's great. I'm eating cheese, drinking a bit of wine, and chillin'. We don't know where the Philly crew is. Marlene and Don went to Sullivan's, a local steakhouse, to have some good beef and enjoy some quiet time. Aurora had some flight complications, so she hasn't arrived yet. Ick. Rachel, the custard for the nanner pudding is looking great. It's awesome when we have professionals keeping me out of my own kitchen. Dinner looks to be some incredible shrimp and cheese grits dish. Oh, and Blondie snagged a ticket to REM, so she'll be by later on tonight. Lots of photos being taken, but no time to post yet. Pig goes on around 9:30 tonight. It's not raining now, but it's very wet outside. Thank god for a big ass tent.

I let the guy who slaughtered the pig keep the head and innards. I just didn't want to deal with them this time around. The thought of marching around with a pig's head at the end of a pole did come to mind, however!

C'mon, there's just a 50% chance of rain! That's why I rented the big tent! We'll be fine, rain or shine.

Pig survived the night, and it's still iced down. Will go on the cooker in about 13 hours. Need more coffee.