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Name That Chodorow Restaurant Contest!


bourdain
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Jeffrey Chodorow is no dummy. And Claude Troisgros can certainly cook. And I--let us be clear--have not eaten at the bizarrely named (but reportedly good) new Rocco-replacement, CAVIAR AND BANANA BRASSERIO. Hell, it might be the best restaurant ever, for all I know. But Caviar? Bananas? In the same breath? Does that SOUND appetizing? Does that make you..well..hungry? Presumably--in fact--there's no question-- that Chodorow and Troisgros are surrounded by smart, savvy people--but like Donald Trump leaving the house, noone seems to have the stones to say "Uh..dude...have you looked at your hair?" (Or in this case, " Uh..boss? Is that really the best name we can come up with for a Brazilian themed restaurant?") I thought it would be fun to invite gulleteers to take part in an exciting new contest idea in which posters suggest WORSE, even LESS attractive names for a restaurant. (Admittedly a tough task). As many as you like! Everyone's a winner!

I'll start:

1) Anal Seepage

2) Swelling, Itching Cafe

3) The Herring and Marshmallow Sports Bar and Grill

4) Fistula Lounge

5) TGI McSquid'n Stuff

6) Ye Olde Vegemite and Durian Ice Cream Parlor and Karaoke Grill

7) Putts and Sluts (Driving Range/Topless Bar/and All U Can Eat Fusion!)

8) Rocco's Too

Edited by bourdain (log)

abourdain

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Are we presuming the hypothetical new restaurant is also Brazilian-themed?

Tango and Ptomaine

Upstate New York's Route 17 used to have billboards for, "Mrs. Murphy's Smorgasbord"

I'm a canning clean freak because there's no sorry large enough to cover the, "Oops! I gave you botulism" regrets.

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Eschewing the scatological references, there might be such crowd pleasers as:

Caribou Fat Cafe (which would inevitably draw the ire/law suits of Caribou Coffee..)

Donner Party Cafe

Al Dente Phlegm Diner and Brewpub

Of course, there are a few actual places which have chosen some unusual names and their locations:

Ghetto Gourmet in Oakland, California

Cabbages and Condoms near Chiang Rai, Thailand

Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast, Massachusetts

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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Sturm und Drang Cafe

"Some people see a sheet of seaweed and want to be wrapped in it. I want to see it around a piece of fish."-- William Grimes

"People are bastard-coated bastards, with bastard filling." - Dr. Cox on Scrubs

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"Riding High on the Crest of a Wave" - Indonesian food, of course.

"Streptocoq au Vin" - French bistro

"Der Tag-liatelle" - WWII-era German-themed Italian.

Allan Brown

"If you're a chef on a salary, there's usually a very good reason. Never, ever, work out your hourly rate."

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If someone named "Pusser" opened just about anything?

There's a "pusser's rum" here in the UK. "Pusser" is a corruption of "purser", and the word is still widely used in the Navy. Anything referred to as "pusser's" is genuine naval issue; "pusser's crabs" are boots; "pusser's crabfat" is battleship-grey paint.

Allan Brown

"If you're a chef on a salary, there's usually a very good reason. Never, ever, work out your hourly rate."

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Perhaps the caviar banana combo isn't so bad, it just needs more marketing flair.

Rename it The Salty Banana,  with the drag queen waitstaff bit, only with a Carmen Miranda-esque dress code

I s this a reference to Updike's "Rabbit Run?"

I'm on the pavement

Thinking about the government.

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