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Food Funnies

Keith_W

By Keith_W
in Food Media & Arts

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

 

Believe it or not, there's a book about that.

 

I never purchased that book, but I looked through it many times in bookstores.  First of all, I think "Manifold Destiny" is one of the all-time best American pun titles.  Second, I loved that it gave cooking times in miles instead of hours and minutes. xD

  • Like 4

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted

How To Cook A Healthy Baby.

 

In my new rental apartment there is a new induction type microwave -  something I've never used. I have been unable to find an instruction book, but then I can't find anything in this maze of unopened boxes and bags.

I decided to have a look at the control panel, not that it helped much despite being bingual. But I'm delighted that it has a setting for cooking healthy babies to perfection - and you wouldn't want to cook an unhealthy one, would you?

 

20170428_163515.thumb.jpg.f6968606452e3b8042677196468c2997.jpg

 

  • Like 7

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted (edited)

 It is difficult to push the like button for a microwave that cooks babies!  Do you have any clue from the Chinese characters, what is an appropriate translation?

Edited by Anna N (log)

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Anna N said:

 It is difficult to push the like button for a microwave that cooks babies!  Do you have any clue from the Chinese characters, what is an appropriate translation?

 

 

Nope. The English is an accurate translation of the Chinese. I reckon it must be the work of a Swiftian.

  • Like 2

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted

 

34 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

 

Nope. The English is an accurate translation of the Chinese. I reckon it must be the work of a Swiftian.

 

...but with the exchange rate and shipping costs, who could afford Irish babies?

  • Like 1

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, pastrygirl said:

One man's response to kitchen clutter:  

http://www.justincousson.com/passiveaggressive-art-gallery/

 

Love it! Bully for this guy's sense of humor, but nasty disrespectful behavior in MY kitchen will turn me into a(n) passive-aggressive, screaming (rhymes with witch). I have to admit, that makes his take even funnier. xD

  • Like 2

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, liuzhou said:

British Food, Explained For Americans - Make the American understanding of British food great again.

 

That truly explains everything.  Reminds me of language lessons my pub mates used to give me, trying to teach me how to talk proper in York.  We had a fine time of it. xD

  • Like 3

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Thanks for the Crepes

Thanks for the Crepes

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, liuzhou said:

British Food, Explained For Americans - Make the American understanding of British food great again.

 

"This is not a broiler, because broil is not a word."

 

"However, the bread roll can also be referred to as a bun, dinner roll, bap, cob, barm, kaiser roll, bread cake, barm cake, batch, muffin, softie, or buttery, depending on where you are. This is a perfectly reasonable state of affairs." 

 

xD

> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
JohnT

JohnT

Posted
Posted

This is a recipe posted in a sailing forum I monitor:

 

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

Ingredients:
6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
salt/pepper to taste

 

Method:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. 
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. 
Listen for popping sounds. 
When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken stuffing/popcorn flies across the galley, it is done.

  • Like 8

Cape Town - At the foot of a flat topped mountain with a tablecloth covering it.

Some time ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

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ChocoMom

ChocoMom

Posted
Posted

I gave my brother a collection of goofy hot sauces, and thought I bought them from Penzy's years ago.  I don't think they carry it anymore. Had a huge catalog of them. I do remember getting him the Nuclear Hell hot sauce, the Colon Blaster,  and the Grim Reaper- complete with the black hood and cloak, and a few more. He thought it was hysterical and kept all the bottles.  

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-Andrea

 

A 'balanced diet' means chocolate in BOTH hands. :biggrin:

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  • 1 month later...
Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

Pearls Before Swine, on taking pictures of one's food.

  • Like 3

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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chromedome

chromedome

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Alex said:

Pearls Before Swine, on taking pictures of one's food.

LOL Yup. The chef I worked with when I was going to culinary school had a saying: "We may eat with the eyes first, but we eat with the mouth *most.*" She was not one for prettifying plates with frills and furbelows, needless to say. 

  • Like 1

“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
liuzhou

liuzhou

Posted
Posted

Dan Aykroyd: ‘Squirrels? They taste better than rattlesnake’

 

" The Ghostbusters actor, writer and comedian on his perfect clambakes, eating with John Belushi – and alien appetites "

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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Alex

Alex

Posted
Posted

What'ss for desssert?

  • Like 2

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

A king can stand people's fighting, but he can't last long if people start thinking. -Will Rogers, humorist

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, pastrygirl said:

for all the mayo lovers out there -

 

http://www.theonion.com/article/hellmanns-introduces-new-meat-bottom-mayo-cups-56396

 

 

Sign me up!

 

  • Like 2

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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