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Keith_W

Food funnies

158 posts in this topic

I haven't seen a jokes thread on eG, so to cut down on the seriousness a little I thought I would start a thread on food funnies :)

I'll kick off with this video on Youtube, about "crimes against Braai":

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There is no love more sincere than the love of food - George Bernard Shaw

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Nice, Keith.

I'd been thinking along similar, lighten-the-mood lines. From the 'lost in translation' files, here's a sign near my local supermarket. Thing is, I know exactly what they mean ...

S_S.jpg


Leslie Craven, aka "lesliec"
Host, eG Forumslcraven@egstaff.org

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives ~ Oscar Wilde

My eG Foodblog

eGullet Ethics Code signatory

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Our first week living in Bangalore, we took the kids to a great steak place called The Only Place. The kids got quite a laugh when the waiter asked if we wanted 'wedgies' with our steak.


PastaMeshugana

"The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd."

"What's hunger got to do with anything?" - My Father

My eG Food Blog (2011)

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UK members will probably have seen the BBC TV series 'Masterchef', featuring ultra-competitive would-be chefs who are driven to produce perfection in an atmosphere filled with tension.

Like this ...

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Here is one, hope to give you an extra smile for today.*

dcarch

BROTH.jpg

*Moderators, cartoons posted by me are all my own work No copyright issues.

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when I saw the MC video I thought it was the buttery biscuit base remix . for those that havn't seen it.


Edited by Ashen (log)
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"Why is the rum always gone?"

Captain Jack Sparrow

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One of my favorites...


It's kinda like wrestling a gorilla... you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.

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I think this series is quite good, myself...I also think the girl is quite cute, for some reason...

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I'm a lifelong professional chef. If that doesn't explain some of my mental and emotional quirks, maybe you should see a doctor, and have some of yours examined...

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omg.. I can't stop watching those episodes.. the my drunk chicken episode is my fav so far


"Why is the rum always gone?"

Captain Jack Sparrow

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1237137_754641931231929_1370714858_n.jpg

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This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

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I think this series is quite good, myself...I also think the girl is quite cute, for some reason...

This is the best. Thanks for linking it.

For some reason I feel like I'm watching outtakes from Veronica Mars?

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This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

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Seems like we need another funnies.*

dcarch

Lobsterhothere.jpg

*Again, Moderators, cartoons are my work. No copyright issues.

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A 'spillehal' is a game arcade, not what you'd generally describe as a cosy or welcoming place. However, this one, at least, does have what strikes me as a charmingly Danish (and fairly amusing) take on the whole concept: the sign at the bottom (Altid kaffe på kanden samt kage/brød) notes that there is always a pot of coffee and cake/bread.

Spillehal.jpg

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Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

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Feed the fish...

Get Fuzzy, part 1

Get Fuzzy, part 2

---------------------------

Calvin, on vegetables


Edited by Alex (log)

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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These are two of our favorite mockumentary food related webisodes.

Posh Nosh (English)

and

Audrey's Kitchen (Australia)

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Peter: You're a spy

Harry: I'm not a spy, I'm a shepherd

Peter: Ah! You're a shepherd's pie!

- The Goons

live well, laugh often, love much

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Happy Thanksgiving all!

dcarch

Turkeydarkmeat_zps37cbd026.jpg

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The lobster rebellion

'. . . .I believe that Mother Nature gave us eyes because she did not want us to eat this type of food. Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks and McNuggets -- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed in someplace far away such as Nebraska. . . .'

(Dave Barry, Miami Herald, 28 January 1996 and  31 March 2014)

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Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

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The lobster rebellion

'. . . .I believe that Mother Nature gave us eyes because she did not want us to eat this type of food. Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks and McNuggets -- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed in someplace far away such as Nebraska. . . .'

(Dave Barry, Miami Herald, 28 January 1996 and  31 March 2014)

Excellent! Thanks for the link. Won't put me off lobster though. But he's so right about oysters!


Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Never call a stomach a tummy without good reason.” William Strunk Jr., The Elements of Style

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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In 1995, David Foster Wallace took on an assignment from Harper's to write about a voyage on a Carribean cruise ship. The article was published in 1996 as "Shipping Out." It was later retitled as "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again", as the title essay in his 1997 collection. As might be expected, there are several passages about food and dining. Here's just one footnote (DFW was fond of footnotes):

 

 

This is counting the Midnight Buffet, which tends to be a kind of lamely lavish Theme-slash-Costume-Partyish thing, w/Theme-related foods -- Oriental, Carribean, Tex-Mex -- and which I plan in this essay to mostly skip except to say that Tex-Mex night out by the pools featured what must have been a seven-foot-high ice sculpture of Pancho Villa that spent the whole party dripping onto the mammoth sombrero of Tibor, Table 64's beloved and extremely cool Hungarian waiter, whose contract forces him on Tex-Mex night to wear a serape and a straw sombrero with a 17" radius and to dispense Four Alarm chili from a steam table placed right underneath an ice sculpture, and whose pink and birdlike face on occasions like this expressed a combination of mortification and dignity that seem somehow to sum up the whole plight of postwar Eastern Europe.

 

Essay, part one   Essay, part two

 

And to echo Dave Barry's article referenced in Mjx's post, Wallace wrote a piece in 2004 for Gourmet -- "Consider the Lobster" -- which begins with the Maine Lobster Festival, and the eating of lobsters in general, then turns to the ethics involved in storing and killing lobsters. There's not much overt humor in the article, but he gets in a few good zingers, such as:

 

 

In fact, one obvious project of the MLF, and of its omnipresently sponsorial Maine Lobster Promotion Council, is to counter the idea that lobster is unusually luxe or rich or unhealthy or expensive, suitable only for effete palates or the occasional blow-the-diet treat. It is emphasized over and over in presentations and pamphlets at the Festival that Maine lobster meat has fewer calories, less cholesterol, and less saturated fat than chicken.*

 

*Then, in a footnote (!), he writes: Of course, the common practice of dipping the lobster meat in melted butter torpedoes all these happy fat-specs, which none of the Council’s promotional stuff ever mentions, any more than potato-industry PR talks about sour cream and bacon bits.


Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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Only in Canada you say? Perhaps someone could have called an air ambulance to get this lobster home? A lobster? C'mon you're kidding right?

http://www.680news.com/2014/04/02/lobster-abandoned-in-st-catharines-ont-parking-lot-may-get-flight-home/

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Never call a stomach a tummy without good reason.” William Strunk Jr., The Elements of Style

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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