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Site with fake pretentious dish names


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This site generates random pretentious menu names. Some of them don't make sense, but I find them pretty funny. Your mileage may vary. Reload the page to see a new dish name.

"Chez Louise Menu"

If you'd like to put any seriousness into this thread, you can talk about whether you find these kinds of long menu descriptions helpful, pretentious, or/and funny. (But there's probably another thread for that.) Or you could just enjoy the linked site.

Michael aka "Pan"


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garlic sauteed sunchoke with a wasabi sorbet

Actually doesn't sound that bad. The wasabi sorbet just might be interesting.

ETA: And the vodka mashed lentils are killing me. Also the heirloom brioche (I've actually had that - not recommended)

Edited by FistFullaRoux (log)
Screw it. It's a Butterball.
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The recipes need more furniture. I'm looking for more "on-a-bed-of(s)" or is that so nineties?

I actually make a Rosemary Sorbet. I also had a conversation with Nach Waxman, at Kitchen Arts and Letters, and he was describing a Wasabi Sorbet on raw oysters. Scary! :wink:

Jim Tarantino

Marinades, Rubs, Brines, Cures, & Glazes

Ten Speed Press

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  • 1 month later...

This thread inspired me. I'm cooking a dinner for my parents as a present, and have decided to send them a fake menu in advance. I'm aiming for something that will be at first glance pretentious, and at second glance horrifying. here's my first draft:

Amuse Bouche

blowfish carpaccio fleurette on a "spoon" of cinnamon chewing gum


Fire-blackened quail's eggs embedded in a block of ice.

Suckling urchin en papillote

served with a brine shrimp aspic and a seasonal meddley of cured, distressed West Brooklyn riverfish.

Tossed Salad of Frisée and "Dirty Money"

fresh baby greens and "leaves" of various international paper currencies, tenderized in a week-long simmered balsamic reduction, sprinkled with fine grains of truffle soil.


Twice-fingered Harris Ranch Wagyu beef, prepared sous vide in tepid water, garlanded with imported thistle and served in an unfired clay pot.

Handpicked, drawn and quartered young rabbit, punished with a shock of mezcal-infused habannero chili marmalade, steamed in a cornhusk and balanced on a pyramid of maize.

Medallions of milk-fed veal-fed veal, hand-hewn turrets of baby harp seal foie gras, wild dolphin roe, collard greens.

Partially sedated live monkey, bamboo shoots and papaya, moistened with coconut holandaise, wrapped in grilled banana leaves and presented on a skewer.


Demolished Cake

Five layers of time-ravaged angelfood, interleaved with dessicated bastions of ganache and creme anglaise, scorched and helmetted by a sheath of whipped cream fallen in ruin, served on crystal platter shards partially supported by a collapsing tower of butter.

Sweet Triage

a demitasse each of lightly sweetened waters, made with cane sugar from Hawaii, Barbados, and Suriname, served precisely at body temperature. Arrives with three brown rice flour "communion wafers" for cleansing the palate.

(Note: it is not legal and therefore impossible for us to serve sweetened water made with Cuban sugar cane. Please make a discreet inquiry with your server for more information.)

Black Opium

mixed valrhona bittersweet chocolate vapors, inhaled through a pâte feulleté hookah

Notes from the underbelly

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Can I just have the dessert course?

That's actually kind of awesome. I'm putting together a menu for my 'dream restaurant' and I'm worried it isn't pretentious enough to attract non-foodie bankers. I'm going to have to use the Pretentious Food Generator to lend credibility to my project.

Now THAT has the irony.

Edited by Reefpimp (log)

This whole love/hate thing would be a lot easier if it was just hate.

Bring me your finest food, stuffed with your second finest!

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