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Site with fake pretentious dish names

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This site generates random pretentious menu names. Some of them don't make sense, but I find them pretty funny. Your mileage may vary. Reload the page to see a new dish name.

"Chez Louise Menu"

If you'd like to put any seriousness into this thread, you can talk about whether you find these kinds of long menu descriptions helpful, pretentious, or/and funny. (But there's probably another thread for that.) Or you could just enjoy the linked site.

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"Heirloom Albacore"

Sounds like a can of Starkist I've got leftover from the hurricane supplies.

:biggrin:

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They use a lot of Grogonzola and Sage? :wacko:

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Not enough coffee in me....I thought I had opened a website for a Westchester restaurant! I think this must be where some of them go for inspiration.... :wacko:

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"vodka tossed heirloom porterhouse steak with a durian bavarois " Thats an intersting combo.. Is an heirloom porterhouse the result of a lot of inbreeding?

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Is an heirloom porterhouse the result of a lot of inbreeding?

I thought it was a steak dry aged for 5-6 years ...

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I thought an Heirloom Porterhouse might have been a cut from a cow fed on said tomatoes :biggrin:

I'm intrigued by the Heston-esque cheese sorbets, however and the frequent use of dead sea salt.

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Sage Infused Hand-Picked Porterhouse Steak with a Maple Mousseline

Oregano Curried Fresh Kobe Tartare with a Maple Syrup

Something to make me giggle on a rainy day!


Edited by indybear (log)

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garlic sauteed sunchoke with a wasabi sorbet

Actually doesn't sound that bad. The wasabi sorbet just might be interesting.

ETA: And the vodka mashed lentils are killing me. Also the heirloom brioche (I've actually had that - not recommended)


Edited by FistFullaRoux (log)

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The wasabi sorbet just might be interesting.

I think somebody made this on Iron Chef?

SB :rolleyes:

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The names of dishes on that site sound like every dish cooked up on 'Top Chef'.

just sayin...

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garlic glazed hand-picked endive with a sesame dressing

olive oil tossed fresh spinach with a rosemary sorbet

rosemary charred fresh Korubuta sausage with a citrus dressing

I guess thats dinner.

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--citrus twice-baked seasonal brioche with a balsamic relish --

This thing is great. I'll bet there are people doing it and trying to figure out why it is funny.

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The recipes need more furniture. I'm looking for more "on-a-bed-of(s)" or is that so nineties?

I actually make a Rosemary Sorbet. I also had a conversation with Nach Waxman, at Kitchen Arts and Letters, and he was describing a Wasabi Sorbet on raw oysters. Scary! :wink:

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--The recipes need more furniture. I'm looking for more "on-a-bed-of(s)" or is that so nineties?--

If they would tweak that to include beds, foams and dusts, it would be even better.

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that's hysterical. I'm totally generating a fake menu to freak out the restaurant owner come the spring menu change.

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Who knew that shaved anything would be so vital to fine dining??

And drenched ...

and artisanal ...

isn't twice-baked hand-picked just a bit labor intensive? :laugh:

I love wordplay ... :wink:

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Wow, who knew a little distraction I made to poke fun at frou-frou menus would propagate onto eGullet! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I added a (very primitive) wine pairing as well, but I'm still working on the syntax logic behind most of it.

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This thread inspired me. I'm cooking a dinner for my parents as a present, and have decided to send them a fake menu in advance. I'm aiming for something that will be at first glance pretentious, and at second glance horrifying. here's my first draft:

Amuse Bouche

blowfish carpaccio fleurette on a "spoon" of cinnamon chewing gum

Entré

Fire-blackened quail's eggs embedded in a block of ice.

Suckling urchin en papillote

served with a brine shrimp aspic and a seasonal meddley of cured, distressed West Brooklyn riverfish.

Tossed Salad of Frisée and "Dirty Money"

fresh baby greens and "leaves" of various international paper currencies, tenderized in a week-long simmered balsamic reduction, sprinkled with fine grains of truffle soil.

PLAT PRINCIPALE

Twice-fingered Harris Ranch Wagyu beef, prepared sous vide in tepid water, garlanded with imported thistle and served in an unfired clay pot.

Handpicked, drawn and quartered young rabbit, punished with a shock of mezcal-infused habannero chili marmalade, steamed in a cornhusk and balanced on a pyramid of maize.

Medallions of milk-fed veal-fed veal, hand-hewn turrets of baby harp seal foie gras, wild dolphin roe, collard greens.

Partially sedated live monkey, bamboo shoots and papaya, moistened with coconut holandaise, wrapped in grilled banana leaves and presented on a skewer.

DESSERT

Demolished Cake

Five layers of time-ravaged angelfood, interleaved with dessicated bastions of ganache and creme anglaise, scorched and helmetted by a sheath of whipped cream fallen in ruin, served on crystal platter shards partially supported by a collapsing tower of butter.

Sweet Triage

a demitasse each of lightly sweetened waters, made with cane sugar from Hawaii, Barbados, and Suriname, served precisely at body temperature. Arrives with three brown rice flour "communion wafers" for cleansing the palate.

(Note: it is not legal and therefore impossible for us to serve sweetened water made with Cuban sugar cane. Please make a discreet inquiry with your server for more information.)

Black Opium

mixed valrhona bittersweet chocolate vapors, inhaled through a pâte feulleté hookah

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Can I just have the dessert course?

That's actually kind of awesome. I'm putting together a menu for my 'dream restaurant' and I'm worried it isn't pretentious enough to attract non-foodie bankers. I'm going to have to use the Pretentious Food Generator to lend credibility to my project.

Now THAT has the irony.


Edited by Reefpimp (log)

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