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Worst thing you've had in your mouth 2006


Teri Everitt
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Worst thing so far this year (or maybe it just seems like the worst because it was so recent: A jacquarded "Calamari steak" from Trader Joe's. Although once cut into strips and stir-fried, it made it all the way to the poor end of mediocre.

MY roommate in Florida went absolutely-bay-leaf happy on the "lasagne" she made me on my birthday. Calling it a lasagne is to do a disservice to every Stouffer's frozen layered pasta product out there. All I could taste was bay and pork bones. Although I must say, my burps were a delight for the next two days.

This whole love/hate thing would be a lot easier if it was just hate.

Bring me your finest food, stuffed with your second finest!

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Mrs.JLam and I ate at a place called Man-Chu Wok in the Miami airport this past June when we were on our way back from our honeymoon.  We were STARVING and desperate to eat anything.  I don't remember what we ate, but I do remember that I was so hungry that I didn't realize until I was halfway done eating it that I was ingesting some of the worst food ever to be put on a plate.

Mushy, bland, watery, and slimy are all words that could be used to describe the dreck we were shoveling down our pie-holes.

About half way through, we both kind of looked at each other in a moment of shared realization.  I said "This is horrible!"  Wifey agreed, and we got out of there.

Thinking about that meal still makes me a little bit queasy.

I ate at a Manchu Wok once and thought it was one of the worst meals I had ever had! I rember thinking they really had to work hard at screwing up plain white rice at a Chinese establishemnt. Somehow, they managed. It was all terrible. The worst part: I thought by drowning the food in the little packets of soy it might be edible. To my suprise, the soy packets were full of what had to be the worst soy sauce in the world. I wasn't aware there was such a thing as terrible soy.

There is. Believe me. There is.

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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A fresh, uncured olive. My mouth was messed up for hours afterwards...

That happened to me when I was about 6 or 7. I can still taste it. How did the first peoples ever figure out how to make them taste good?

This whole love/hate thing would be a lot easier if it was just hate.

Bring me your finest food, stuffed with your second finest!

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A fresh, uncured olive. My mouth was messed up for hours afterwards...

That happened to me when I was about 6 or 7. I can still taste it. How did the first peoples ever figure out how to make them taste good?

Off topic, but I've wondered about that sort of thing. Who bothers going through the time-consuming faff of curing olives on the off chance that you'll end up with something good (and edible)?

Cutting the lemon/the knife/leaves a little cathedral:/alcoves unguessed by the eye/that open acidulous glass/to the light; topazes/riding the droplets,/altars,/aromatic facades. - Ode to a Lemon, Pablo Neruda

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Off topic, but I've wondered about that sort of thing. Who bothers going through the time-consuming faff of curing olives on the off chance that you'll end up with something good (and edible)?

People who are hungry and need to take advantage of what is locally available in a hot, mostly unarable region!

Edited because I somehow missed the "2006" in the title of this thread. :unsure:

So for 2006, the most awful thing was, believe it or not, this:

gallery_38081_3012_4504.jpg

I obviously bought it for the box which was just classic. But then I figured, "I spent 2 lira for it, I might as well try it," expecting something like gerber baby food pudding. Uh-uh. It was like cornstarch-thickened water mixed with a little skim milk. The ingredients say: Rice flour, Grinded sugar (sic), Lactose, Powdered milk without fat, Serum proteins, Vegetable oil, Lactoferrin, Vitamins (bla bla bla), natural equivalent vanilla aroma.

Almost as entertaining are the instructions:

gallery_38081_3012_49088.jpg

Edited by sazji (log)

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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The kappa maki I got from the grocery store today. Normally it's decent sushi that this grocery store makes... they make it fresh daily, and I got mine about 30 minutes after it was made.

They put wasabi in with the cucumber! Yuck!

Oh, ick! Kappa maki's my favorite, I totally feel your pain. Nothing's worse than having your mouth ready for your favorite treat and then it's WRONG.

(Edited to fix typo.)

Edited by SorchaR (log)

"d00d where r u???"

"im in ur kichen cookin ur f00dz!"

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Although maybe this wasn't a "worst", it certainly was unusual.

Somebody gave me a cup of McDonalds coffee.  It actually tasted deep fried? :huh:

SB (maybe it really is? :unsure: )

The McDonald's out here, don't know about the rest of the country, are now serving Seattle's Best coffee - and they've managed to make it suck as bad as the rest of their coffee. Quite a feat.

"d00d where r u???"

"im in ur kichen cookin ur f00dz!"

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Whole foods - bought a cheese with truffles in it....I love fresh truffles, but this was so pungent it tasted like poo. And it's the taste that keeps on giving...virtually nothing can cleanse your palette of the flavor...ugh....

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This past year my soon to be roommate (who later became my “can’t wait until she is gone roommate) decided to cook a meal for me and my boyfriend. We were thrilled since she said she was going to cook for us a nice Italian meal like the kind she had when she went on her trip to Italy. This woman sweats Italy. She speaks Italian most of the day, has a million fancy ingredients from Italy. The meal came. Everything tasted like cardboard! There was absolutely no change in taste between the pasta, pasta sauce. She also made some pork which I am more than used to eat. Dry, tasteless, bland. The best part of the evening was the wine I brought, the panna cotta she made (that came from a box!) and strawberries.

However, this experience pales in comparison to the horrible sandwich I had while doing research in Cuba during 2005. I was ravenous that day and ran to one of the many many many carts around the city selling small sandwiches for 10 cents. I decided to buy a pork sandwich because I was also homesick for Puerto Rican pork. I ran back to the archives to munch on my sandwich and when I opened it I notice a very thick layer of a whitish substance that just looked like a very transparent cheese. I was excited to find this sandwich had cheese also. I bit into it with gusto until the greasy, gagging substance of pure pork fat dawned on me. It felt like I had just tried licking the Crisco can clean. The experience was awful but no more than the days that followed with a nasty stomach ailment.

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Whole foods - bought a cheese with truffles in it....I love fresh truffles, but this was so pungent it tasted like poo.  And it's the taste that keeps on giving...virtually nothing can cleanse your palette of the flavor...ugh....

Ha! I assume you mean it tasted like what you THINK poo must taste like! :raz:

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hmm, I can't remember if it was this year or possibly late in the last, but it was beef with hijiki seaweed puree at wd-50. It was like licking the inside of a dirty fish tank, a filthy dirty fish tank. I couldn't imaging being a cook there and having to check the seasoning on that one every time it went out. Maybe it wasn't worst of all time but when you're in a cuisine driven restaurant and all the ingredients are put together with such precision and care, presented so nicely, one doesn't expect such a sucker punch. I had invited a friend, we both had the same dish, and we both fell silent after the first bite. Our eyes fell to do some inspecting and suss out the situation, when we had the second que'd up eye contact was made and we both kind of dared each other to go for it. We were playing chicken with the beef.

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Whole foods - bought a cheese with truffles in it....I love fresh truffles, but this was so pungent it tasted like poo.  And it's the taste that keeps on giving...virtually nothing can cleanse your palette of the flavor...ugh....

I love stinky cheese. Love it, love it, love it. But, a few years back I purchased a soft cheese at Whole Foods that could best be described as tasting like electric feet -- funky and acidic. I had to had to gargle with a glass of Sancerre for 15 minutes just to survive. :wink:

Edited by menon1971 (log)
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An appetizer party. The worst was the regular supermarket white mushrooms, stuffed with chunks of Velveeta cheese, nuked beyond belief. The mouthfeel was, well, suffice to say I was glad I had a napkin in my hand and that there was a trash can nearby.

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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