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Worst thing you've had in your mouth 2006


Teri Everitt
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I'll start. Mine seemed harmless enough. It was a muffin purchased at a fair-trade coffee shop last weekend. With all the strange things people eat, how could a mere muffin be that bad? Well, I'm really not into fear factor dining, so I don't eat many exotic foods. As for the Hippie Muffin of Doom:

Heavy like a doorstop.

Dry and flavourless, apparently it was fig and apple. I did spot some pieces of apple in it, complete with shriveled green peel attached. No figs were detected in the 1 1/2 bites I managed to eat. The second small bite was just to confirm that yes, it really was THAT bad. It was also apparently completely unsweetened. I asked the girl who sold it to me if it was sugar-free, and she replied that it was sweetened with a small amount of maple syrup. Measured with an eyedropper possibly.

Harmless as it looked....it really was the worst thing I've had in my mouth all year. Since 2006 is almost over, let's hear yours.

Also, I think the only fitting punishment for the person who baked it is to have to eat about 6 of them.

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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I went to my first "Panera". You know, that chain that advertises such wonderful bread and coffee and on and on.

I picked up a "baguette" and thought I was back in olden times where grains were thinned with sawdust and possibly metal shavings. The thing should have been light, but it felt as if it weighed three pounds.

Then I got some coffee, and sat down to drink the coffee and have some of the dreaded ancient baguette. They must have put sawdust in the coffee also. Blech. Blech.

I tore off a piece of baguette - difficult to do, as it seemed pliable rather than tearable. One bite assured me that indeed, sawdust must have been used in the recipe.

My mouth attempted to chew to little avail. Somehow I swallowed it, then stood up and dumped both the entire baguette and coffee in the trash.

Stomped out of the place in quite a little mood.

How can one ruin simple bread and coffee so completely? I ask you. :sad:

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I ate a bad oyster. That is, I put in my mouth and spit out a bad oyster.

Worst part was, I shucked it myself so I had no one else to blame.

Runner up: A half-frozen beef pattie from Clinton Papaya eaten in desperate post-dancing late night shame/inebriation.

Drink maker, heart taker!

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A tale of two tacos: the first was chicarones with salsa verde -- congealed and gelatinous, it lit me up like a blast furnace (sorry for the graphic detail); the send was a mushy, slightly artificial/off tasting chicken taco eaten at the Denver airport. The salsa tasted like the chicken as did the guacamole -- I hate to think of the cross contamination that could have led to this.

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I went to my first "Panera". You know, that chain that advertises such wonderful bread and coffee and on and on.

How can one ruin simple bread and coffee so completely? I ask you.  :sad:

I hear ya on this one, Carrot Top. This "baked thing" (it would be an offense to call it a real baguette or even a baked good) would be better served as a chew toy for pets.

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The Egg McLugnut and Hash browns I bought at the airport McD's. My only excuse was that it was some ungawdly hour of the morning and I was on no sleep. The hash browns tasted rancid and I don't know what they did to the McLugnut. I hadn't eaten at a McD's in over 5 years and I'm not inclined to do so again any time soon.

Surprisingly, though, the coffee was pretty darned good.

Marcia.

Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted...he lived happily ever after. -- Willy Wonka

eGullet foodblog

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The "weight watchers" chocolate cake from Applebee's. I've made low-fat chocolate cake before and it was edible, good even, but this was an abomination. And the raspberry sauce, which doesn't even need to be modified to make it low-fat, was some kind of fake raspberry goo. Horrible. It actually made me angry it was so bad. My husband teased me for a week about the "angry cake." I honestly think I would have gotten more enjoyment out of eating the plate and napkin.

Heather

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? ~Author Unknown

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I had the worst breakfast of my life at a little place called John’s Cafe in Portland. I was in my rental car heading out of town to the airport. It was a pleasant-looking diner, and all the food I’d eaten in Portland had been really good. So I pulled over, parked, went in, and sat at the counter. It was pretty empty, with a couple of derelict types hunched over coffee in booths. It didn’t look promising but I thought, “How bad could eggs and toast be?” The menu had a little box that said chicken fried steak and eggs was a house specialty. I’d never had that for breakfast so I thought I’d try it.

The short order cook, a tall, thin, middle-aged man, labored over the stove in the back for a long time. The waitress, who spoke in what sounded like a Slavic accent, and who may or may not have been the cook's wife, finally set my plate before me. The steak was a ground patty, the scrambled eggs were overcooked, dry, and tough, but the worst was the “gravy” on the steak, which was a dark brown thin liquid. I cut a small piece of chicken fried steak and tatsed it. Gyech! It tasted burnt and rancid. I tried one more. Blech! Nasty burnt rancid taste. I ate the toast, drank the coffee, and asked for the check. “You didn’t finish your breakfast!” said the waitress . “I’m not that hungry,” I said. I paid and left. The gravy left an awful aftertaste, burnt and rancid, that lingered for hours.

gallery_44755_3968_186337.jpg

Scene of the crime. Let the diner beware.

"Yo, I want one of those!"

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i just had it. a spoonful of gerber organic baby rice cereal mixed with similac. i can't believe this kid likes this crap. i assume it's not the rice cereal, but the formula that has this weird chemically taste that is really repulsive to me. wish we had more breastmilk to mix it with instead...

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I had the worst breakfast of my life at a little place called John’s Cafe in Portland. I was in my rental car heading out of town to the airport. It was a pleasant-looking diner, and all the food I’d eaten in Portland had been really good. So I pulled over, parked, went in, and sat at the counter. It was pretty empty, with a couple of derelict types hunched over coffee in booths. It didn’t look promising but I thought, “How bad could eggs and toast be?” The menu had a little box that said chicken fried steak and eggs was a house specialty. I’d never had that for breakfast so I thought I’d try it.

Strange. The worst meal I ever had was at a place called John's Diner in Cleveland. Re-fried meatloaf with the entire staff (cook, waiter, hostess, owner) looking on, watching their only customers. When asked if I wanted it boxed, I said sure, I guess I wasn't very hungry. When I went to pay I said a little discombobulated, that I guessed I was too hungry to eat. I guess I was really discombobulated because I took the boxed meal with me and threw it away at a rest area on the Ohio turnpike. I can still taste it even though my one bite lasted less than one second in my mouth.

But in the last year, searching for a less expensive taco meal near Poughkeepsie we ate at a place called Tacoland. It looked festive enough and since I'd had part of some really great nachos at Cafe Maya in Cold Spring a few days earlier, I ordered them at TL. As we discovered later, TL doesn't have an oven. They may have a microwave but everything was pre made and arrived in a bag. Anyway the nacho chips came out of a bag (no surprise) but the worst thing I put in my mouth this year was the, I kid you not, mustard yellow pump cheese topping. While I don't remember how long it lasted in my mouth, that bright yellow is forever etched on my brain.

Edited by BeJam (log)

Bode

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"Salmon pattie" at a hospital cafeteria. I should have known better since those are six words that should never be put together. I cut into the middle of it and it was a gooey, mushy, gray mess. It smelled like fish, other than that, no clue as to what it actually was.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19): Cranky. And rude and tactless. - and a perfect description of me!

"Is there alcohol in this furniture polish? Mmmmm, tastes like I might die!" Roger the Alien, "American Dad"

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Most repulsive thing was a Filo topped Spinach Dish. I had almost forgotten it but was reading some of the posts to my daughter and she reminded me.

The spinach was slimy and the whole was tasteless. The only saving grace was the feta cheese I put into it.

Yes, I did it myself. :blush::shock:

Well it read like it would be good.

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the absolute worst had to be these salmon cups that are made by the starkist tuna folks. They are little cups that suppose to hold single servings of salmon (they come in tuna as well) in what is supposed to be a favored sauce. I usually know better than to buy stuff like that but I was suckered in by the idea of something different and new. I picked up the orange salmon and HOLY CRAP! that was the most disgusting thing I ever I tasted. I tossed the whole thing right then and there, I still recoil in disgust when I think about it...

"I eat fat back, because bacon is too lean"

-overheard from a 105 year old man

"The only time to eat diet food is while waiting for the steak to cook" - Julia Child

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I was at a conference last month that was sooo not about the food, a long week of barely warmed entrees, limp salads and NO DESSERT. Not once, all week. Not that it would have been edible, but still. :angry:

One meal was a fried chicken nugget salad, which can be good, if the chicken is hot and crunchy and the greens fresh and various, but nooooo. Brown iceberg and the chicken came directly out of the big bag, and still had the chill of the freezer on it.

The last meal of the conference was the worst. I think they had been working towards that goal all week.

Canned sweet corn, no salt, no butter. Instant mashed potatoes, ditto. And, the piece de resistance, meat loaf. It was a strange, uniform texture--kinda like braunschweiger--very fine and pasty while still managing to be heavy and grey. It was warmish to the touch--I poked it--but no way that stuff was going in my mouth.

I have a mental block about meat loaf, anyhow, a worry about what exactly gets ground up into the mix, and this was a real gagger.

sparrowgrass
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tuesday i was HUNGRY...(reference the PMS THREAD) so stopped at "li'l skeeters" which used to be the "halfway house" on the golf course. now they advertise bbq foods and, when it was the halfway, had an hispanic cook who could whip up the best burritos i have ever eaten.

you do NOT smell wood at all and i think they "bbq" the meats in an oven somewhere. i ordered a cheese quesadilla. except for the one i ate in vermont(my own fault) this had to be the worst tasting thing ever conceived. quesadillas should not taste like they are fried in butter - but this did. i asked for a tomatillo salsa and got what the server put into the takeout box. why would you serve sour cream when 5 minutes away you could buy cremea?

the first taste had me running my tounge across my teeth trying to banish that butter taste ... and wishing for a toothbrush.

Nothing is better than frying in lard.

Nothing.  Do not quote me on this.

 

Linda Ellerbee

Take Big Bites

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I've been looking over the adjectives used so far in this thread:

Shriveled, congealed, gelatinous, sawdust, chemical taste, half-frozen, pasty, slimy, artificial goo, rancid, aftertaste and perhaps most disturbingly the words "hospital cafeteria" (the patients HAVE to eat there if you can walk or run, run somewhere else to get some food!) and "airport". Have none of you ever watched the British TV show "Chef!" ....I'll quote Lenny Henry directly right here.

"Airports....where food goes to die."

Anyway, after reading through the above I'm thinking that this thread should be banned for bad language. I'm sure ALL of these words and phrases could be considered swears when applied to food.

If this thread hits 50 posts maybe I'll ask everyone who contributed to it to PM me the name of the poster they feel sorriest for (even if it's yourself) and we'll declare a winner.

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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Tried oreja for the first time back in May.

Won't be doing that again.

Cartilage-riffic.

*gag*

K

Basil endive parmesan shrimp live

Lobster hamster worchester muenster

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Roquefort meat squirt blue beef red alert

Pork hocs side flank cantaloupe sheep shanks

Provolone flatbread goat's head soup

Gruyere cheese angelhair please

And a vichyssoise and a cabbage and a crawfish claws.

--"Johnny Saucep'n," by Moxy Früvous

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I'm a sucker for canned rice pudding. However, on a visit home a few weeks ago, I tried low fat rice pudding. I knew it would be bad but I tried it anyway - Yes, it was bad. The reason is simple...

It's rice pudding - Rice pudding is made with cream. How do you make a low fat alternative to something who's principal ingredient (aside from rice), is cream!?

Please take a quick look at my stuff.

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I hear ya on this one, Carrot Top. This "baked thing" (it would be an offense to call it a real baguette or even a baked good) would be better served as a chew toy for pets.

"Baked bads" is the proper terminology for such monstrosities.

Similar to the first post, the worst thing I've had (at least that I remember) was an "all-natural" sweet roll, that wasn't very sweet nor very flavorable, but a bit dry and unappetizing.

A friend enticed me to try seal oil recently, saying that it was completely horrible, but I didn't find it so -- tasted like grass to me.

M. Thomas

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Mrs.JLam and I ate at a place called Man-Chu Wok in the Miami airport this past June when we were on our way back from our honeymoon. We were STARVING and desperate to eat anything. I don't remember what we ate, but I do remember that I was so hungry that I didn't realize until I was halfway done eating it that I was ingesting some of the worst food ever to be put on a plate.

Mushy, bland, watery, and slimy are all words that could be used to describe the dreck we were shoveling down our pie-holes.

About half way through, we both kind of looked at each other in a moment of shared realization. I said "This is horrible!" Wifey agreed, and we got out of there.

Thinking about that meal still makes me a little bit queasy.

"Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit." -- Anthony Bourdain

Promote skepticism and critical thinking. www.randi.org

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Mrs.JLam and I ate at a place called Man-Chu Wok in the Miami airport this past June when we were on our way back from our honeymoon.  We were STARVING and desperate to eat anything.  I don't remember what we ate, but I do remember that I was so hungry that I didn't realize until I was halfway done eating it that I was ingesting some of the worst food ever to be put on a plate.

Mushy, bland, watery, and slimy are all words that could be used to describe the dreck we were shoveling down our pie-holes.

About half way through, we both kind of looked at each other in a moment of shared realization.  I said "This is horrible!"  Wifey agreed, and we got out of there.

Thinking about that meal still makes me a little bit queasy.

I ate at a Manchu Wok once and thought it was one of the worst meals I had ever had! I rember thinking they really had to work hard at screwing up plain white rice at a Chinese establishemnt. Somehow, they managed. It was all terrible. The worst part: I thought by drowning the food in the little packets of soy it might be edible. To my suprise, the soy packets were full of what had to be the worst soy sauce in the world. I wasn't aware there was such a thing as terrible soy.

Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you and be silent. Epicetus

Amanda Newton

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