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You might be a cocktail snob/geek if...


mbanu
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... you have a cry for help on this forum replied to by a widely respected authority in the cocktail world, but don't know anyone IRL who's gets your excitement.

... you spend the best part of a day reading the archive of all Gary's "Professor" columns online, and make a shopping list.

... laugh out loud at this thread, and feel comforted that you are by no means alone in your mania.

Edited by Bricktop (log)
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  • 3 months later...

...you see a post with photos of ice cube trays and monster ice cubes and your response is a ridiculously excessive amount of envy followed by the desire to leave work and head to the suburbs to see if your sorta-local Ikea carries this tray.

Kurt

“I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.” ~W.C. Fields

The Handy Snake

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...you see a post with photos of ice cube trays and monster ice cubes and your response is a ridiculously excessive amount of envy followed by the desire to leave work and head to the suburbs to see if your sorta-local Ikea carries this tray.

Kurt

LOL Ah yes Donbert's ice cube trays from IKEA, I should have known..... But have you seen this yet? http://www.flickr.com/photos/donbert/263605982/

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What's it mean when you read all this, somewhat fascinated, and don't really get any of it except recognizing a link to a bottle of whisky you've been dying to try?

You’re a normal, well adjusted human being who is naturally curious.

But be forewarned, that’s how they get you.

It starts out innocently enough; you try different gin cocktails while your friends are drinking vodka and soda.

Next thing you know, on your way to far-off relatives for Thanksgiving dinner you’re yanking the car off the road to scour a mom and pop liquor store for extinct ingredients while the family cools their heels in the backseat. And forget about bringing leftovers home because the refrigerator is loaded with myriads of homemade liquid concoctions! Various simple syrups & grenadines, numerous versions of pimento dram & falernum and… oh look, Earl Grey infused gin… gotta go…

Rich

Edit: Missed an "of"

Edited by JerseyRED (log)

"The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question."

Will Sinclair

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What's it mean when you read all this, somewhat fascinated, and don't really get any of it except recognizing a link to a bottle of whisky you've been dying to try?

You’re a normal, well adjusted human being who is naturally curious.

But be forewarned, that’s how they get you.

It starts out innocently enough; you try different gin cocktails while your friends are drinking vodka and soda.

Next thing you know, on your way to far-off relatives for Thanksgiving dinner you’re yanking the car off the road to scour a mom and pop liquor store for extinct ingredients while the family cools their heels in the backseat. And forget about bringing leftovers home because the refrigerator is loaded with myriads of homemade liquid concoctions! Various simple syrups & grenadines, numerous versions of pimento dram & falernum and… oh look, Earl Grey infused gin… gotta go…

Rich

Edit: Missed an "of"

Oh dear, have you been in my kitchen lately? ;-)

Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

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  • 6 months later...

... your wife calls on assignment from second-hand stores to ask if you want the vintage cocktail glasses she's found.

... you always say, "Buy them. Buy them all."

... after building your last trip around a disappointing visit to Astor (too many damned wines), you eagerly await your next trip to NY, which will be built around a lengthy excursion to LeNells.

... you pay more for a muddler than any item of clothing you've purchased in the last year, and you're convinced that this was a sound financial decision.

... you see a cheap, big bag oranges during a lousy year for citrus and grab it excitedly, thinking, "I can practice my flaming rind technique tonight!"

... you think eje's stomp through the Savoy is a honorable service to humankind, instead of, say, a bit touched.

... you seek to convert the cocktail heathen with the self-assured zeal of a 19th century missionary, using acts of unabashed coercion and snide mockery that you'd decry in any other situation.

... when you arrive in Atlanta, your cocktail geek pal takes you on a drive featuring three stops at liquor stores, and you find this to be the height of southern hospitality.

... you stock up on a few extra bottles of Regan's orange bitters, Taylor's falernum, and Herbsaint when you find them because, well, who knows what might happen.

... you correct liquor store owners in your state about what is and is not in your state's Beverage Journal.

... you're enraged at the ice dust your refrigerator ice crusher makes, even when it's simply chilling your daughter's lemonade.

... you know which bodegas and grocery stores within five miles of your home have the smoothest, thinnest skinned limes, and you always carry at least one dollar in cash to buy a bag when needed.

... you do a ridicule-inspiring dance in the store aisle when you find Flor de Caña rums (on a trip across state lines looking for them).

... as you drift off to sleep, you wonder whether you pressed down too hard on the mint for your French Pearl.

... you think that the viral expansion of single malts and vodka in liquor stores is a massive environmental problem.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

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When you keep track of your friend's travel plans, and beg them to bring back hard to find ingredients. Housesitting for friends going to Tokyo = bottles of Hermes Violet and orange bitters.

"Martinis should always be stirred, not shaken, so that the molecules lie sensuously one on top of the other." - W. Somerset Maugham

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I can't believe I haven't read this topic before. Oh heavens, how funny it is to a straight- ahead scotch and soda//Negroni/Gibson kind of girl. The less fuss and the strongest whiff of hooch the better, for me.

I know several charming and smart lady mixologists, but I believe that this truly belongs to geeky men. You've all revealed your depths and heights of cocktail nuttiness here, but allow an outsider to make some stupidly stereotypical remarks. With deep affection.

1) Fondness for Thomas Dolby if you're over 50.

2) Pink Floyd, ditto.

3) Um, grey ponytail? Tatoos?

4) Not William Powell in the Thin Man. Last time you wore a tie was at a funeral.

5)If you cook, you tend to be a savory dude, not a pastry dude. (There are exceptions.)

6)You loved your chemistry set. And your dog.

&)Beer got you into a lot of trouble, back in the day.

9)In high school you either loved trig or were seriously high.

10) It really is the revenge of the nerds. The star quarterback in high school is drinking Grey Goose and soda. Geez.

I love you guys.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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...you keep sending frantic emails to your brother who just moved to Germany, hassling him to send a package of Bitter Truth. He replies, "dude, I have a new job, i'm kinda busy, gimme some time," but that's not really good enough. He never loved you anyway, the bum.

...you leave the East Village and move to Red Hook, partially to save money, but mostly you're just lying to everyone -- you want to be within walking distance of LeNells.

...you only sign a year lease because, well, the store might be gone next summer.

edit: public school education.

Edited by notahumanissue (log)
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Oh heavens, how funny it is to a straight- ahead scotch and soda//Negroni/Gibson  kind of girl.

You read that and think, "Yeah. You go, girl. Negronis rock."

Negronis rule. Now, take my quiz.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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1.) Who doesn’t rock out to “She blinded me with science”? Huh Who? 39.

2.) Everything but Dark Side. The Wall was first album I ever bought. The year it came out, 1979.

3.) White pompadour. Lots and Lots and not stopping soon.

4.) Not William Powell…yet, but a boy need’s aspirations. Myrna, Yum. Wore a tie yesterday. Pink, City of London. Double Windsor.

5.) Yup, all savory all the time. But can’t bake to save my life. I should try again and picture the measuring cup as a big, misshapen jigger.

6.) Blew up my chemistry set. No dog since childhood. Almost killed the next-door neighbors dog when I found Mercury and the gasoline, motor oil, weed killer, and a few other things in the garage. Mixed it in a Flying saucer sled. Chef (Dad) was none too pleased.

&.) With a name like Maloney it still gets me in trouble, or is that the rum? Or is it the combo? The lovely, lovely combo.

9.) Seriously, frighteningly high. Thank God I still don’t think that Chocolate ice cream and Doritos is the ultimate tasty treat.

10,) Living well is the best revenge!!! They deserve an eternity of tasteless libations for all the ass kicking’s they administered. My ghost of a mohawk is flipping them the bird.

Toby

Edited due to Wondriching.

Edited by Alchemist (log)

A DUSTY SHAKER LEADS TO A THIRSTY LIFE

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I can't believe I haven't read this topic before.  Oh heavens, how funny it is to a straight- ahead scotch and soda//Negroni/Gibson  kind of girl. The less fuss and the strongest whiff of hooch the better, for me.

I know several charming and smart lady mixologists, but I believe that this truly belongs to geeky men. You've all revealed your depths and heights of cocktail nuttiness here, but allow an outsider to make some stupidly stereotypical remarks. With deep affection.

1) Fondness for Thomas Dolby if you're over 50.

2) Pink Floyd, ditto.

3) Um, grey ponytail? Tatoos?

4) Not William Powell in the Thin Man. Last time you wore a tie was at a funeral.

5)If you cook, you tend to be a savory dude, not a pastry dude. (There are exceptions.)

6)You loved your chemistry set. And your dog.

&)Beer got you into a lot of trouble, back in the day.

9)In high school you either loved trig or were seriously high.

10) It really is the revenge of the nerds. The star quarterback in high school is drinking Grey Goose and soda. Geez.

I love you guys.

you obviously haven't met me :wink:

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I can't believe I haven't read this topic before.  Oh heavens, how funny it is to a straight- ahead scotch and soda//Negroni/Gibson  kind of girl. The less fuss and the strongest whiff of hooch the better, for me.

I know several charming and smart lady mixologists, but I believe that this truly belongs to geeky men. You've all revealed your depths and heights of cocktail nuttiness here, but allow an outsider to make some stupidly stereotypical remarks. With deep affection.

1) Fondness for Thomas Dolby if you're over 50.

2) Pink Floyd, ditto.

3) Um, grey ponytail? Tatoos?

4) Not William Powell in the Thin Man. Last time you wore a tie was at a funeral.

5)If you cook, you tend to be a savory dude, not a pastry dude. (There are exceptions.)

6)You loved your chemistry set. And your dog.

&)Beer got you into a lot of trouble, back in the day.

9)In high school you either loved trig or were seriously high.

10) It really is the revenge of the nerds. The star quarterback in high school is drinking Grey Goose and soda. Geez.

I love you guys.

I'll bite.

1. who?

2. sure...but I'm 32.

3. no and no.

4. as with many of my NY ilk...sartorial obsessiveness comes with the territory...so, heck no! there's a Prada sample sale starting on Monday (seriously).

5. correct.

6. dog.

7. only unintended progeny in every port....

8. I can count...you can't.

9. neither.

10. nope, started on the high school b-ball team.

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1) Fondness for Thomas Dolby if you're over 50.

2) Pink Floyd, ditto.

3) Um, grey ponytail? Tatoos?

4) Not William Powell in the Thin Man. Last time you wore a tie was at a funeral.

5)If you cook, you tend to be a savory dude, not a pastry dude. (There are exceptions.)

6)You loved your chemistry set. And your dog.

&)Beer got you into a lot of trouble, back in the day.

9)In high school you either loved trig or were seriously high.

10) It really is the revenge of the nerds. The star quarterback in high school is drinking Grey Goose and soda. Geez.

1) Well, I was a bit fond of Thomas Dolby in the 80s. Still only 42.

2) OD'd on the Floyd in High School. Now only when Syd was still with them.

3) Uh, not too grey and never a ponytail.

4) Thin, but I prefer my Martinis stirred to a waltz time. Last time I wore a tie was to the Fat Duck.

5)Yep, though I do OK with pizza and other yeast doughs.

6)I did love my chemistry set and insect collection. Dogs are OK. Have a cat now.

&)Mmmm... Beer! More cocktail bars need great, local microbrews.

9)Nope and nope. Music nerd and school paper photographer.

10) While the star quarterback does seem to be drinking French Martinis or Grey Goose and Cran, I can't say most of the cocktail people I've met are particularly nerdy. While there are a few of us who are actual nerds; obsessed, particular, and detail-oriented autodidacts seems a more accurate description of the greater population.

Edited by eje (log)

---

Erik Ellestad

If the ocean was whiskey and I was a duck...

Bernal Heights, SF, CA

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8.  I can count...you can't.

Blushing to the roots of my hair. Blame it on the Negronis.

Ok, 7) is your free choice. Name your own idiosyncratic harbinger of cocktail geekdom. Can you find a shared characteristic with your cocktail confreres?

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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5.) Yup, all savory all the time. But can’t bake to save my life.  I should try again and picture the measuring cup as a big, misshapen jigger.

YMBACS/GI... you frequently use your jigger as a measuring cup whilst cooking :wink:

There Will Be Bloody Marys
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