Gallager's Steak House

[rich]

Last evening my wife and a friend went to see Jersey Boys (great play, I recommend it highly) and since Tuesday is an early curtain (7pm) we decided to have dinner afterward.

The show broke at 9:45pm and since Gallagher's is directly across the street, we thought that would be easy and simple. I've never been a huge fan of Gallagher's but it's okay and we know one of the chefs very well (have had dinner at his home on a few occasions) so I thought it would be nice to say hello.

When we walked in, the MD asked if we had a reservation and I said no. He said wait a minute and I'll see if I can find something. I thought that strange since the place was probably about a third empty and who could they be expecting after 10pm on a Tuesday. Well we waited several minutes and nothing happened except he said the same thing to another group (of four) who had no reservation and they were seated within a minute.

At this point I checked a garment bag and vanity bag in the front with the woman behind the counter. (I was in Albany since Monday afternoon on business and took Amtrak back to Manhattan in order to make the play.) I then approached the MD again and asked for a table (for three). He said just a minute and disappeared into the back. Another 5-10 minutes passed and he didn't return. We then walked to the bar area where two singles were sipping a beer. I asked the bartender if we could eat there. He said no(in a surly manner), if you want to eat get a table. I said I've been trying but it seems the MD has disappeared. He just shrugged and walked away.

The three of us had enough and decided to leave. I went to the coat check to retrieve my bags and the woman asked what was the problem. I told her the MD couldn't find a table for us and we were leaving. She said that's impossible, just ask him again. I replied that I asked him twice and was ignored both times, I'm not asking again, please return my bags. She refused saying there were plenty of available tables and to just ask again. I told her no and if she didn't return my bags I would go behind the counter myself to get them. She just looked at me and when I started to move behind the counter she finally returned my property.

Seeing this, my wife and friend began walking out the door. Just then, the MD re-appeared and as I was leaving I turned to him and said tell (insert my friend's name, don't want to mention it here for reasons that will become obvious) I said hello. The MD could probaly tell I was very angry at this point and was being sarcastic. He replied, yes I will and maybe he can tell you what you need to do to get a table here.

That was it! That was the final straw! I turned back to him, walked over, pointed my finger in his face and said I know what to do in restaurants and if you want something, just come out and say it and not act like a fool and make us look like idiots. At this point, my voice was raised and I knew it, didn't care and in fact, was doing it on purpose. He acted stunned and asked what he did. I told him the problem was he did nothing except disrespect us and that I've never seen this type of behavior in forty years of going to NYC restaurants. No profanity was used (I very rarely use it anyway), but my voice was quite raised.

Moments later, I feel someone behind me pushing my hand and finger away from the MD's face. (Remember I was still pointing my finger at him). It was the "bouncer" who claimed it was his place. I then told the bouncer to remove his hand from me or there would be real problems and I dropped my bags on the floor. He just stared at me and I said if you don't remove your hand from me the next thing you will be staring at is the ceiling. He got the message and put his hands down to his side.

I was livid and baited him. I said please take the first swing (I was angry, but not stupid. I wasn't going to throw the first punch), I would enjoy "kicking your ass all over 52nd Street." He said he wasn't going to swing and just stood there completely perplexed. At this point my friend sensed something was amiss and came back into the restaurant. He's a correction officer and showed his badge. He also carries a weapon and I didn't want to get him involved for fear of a major incident, so I became a bit quieter.

The restaurant was now very still and there was no noise except for us. Several other waiters and managers now came to the front. One asked us to leave and I told him that's what we were doing until the MD verbally insulted me. I picked up my bags, which were still strewn across the floor and we left. My friend told me outside, the MD apologized to him for anything he may have said to start this. I thought that was amusing.

But things happen for a reason. We walked over to Eighth Avenue, found a Thai place between 54-55 Streets (Red Garlic) and hade a very enjoyable meal.

In forty years of restaurant experience, I have never been involved in anything remotely close to this. It certainly was a unique experience. But I must admit (even now), I really would have enjoyed it if the bouncer took a swing or didn't remove his hand from me. I never had a stronger desire to thrash someone.

Edited June 8, 2006 by rich (log)

[skiter53]

So did you figure out if there was any explanation for the MD's poor behavior and service?

Edited June 7, 2006 by skiter53 (log)

[rich]

So did you figure out if there was any explanation for the MD's poor behavior and service?

←

An educated guess - he wanted to be "palmed" for a table. No way at 10pm on a Tuesday with a restaurant at least a third empty was he getting money for a table. I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night.

[rich]

So did you figure out if there was any explanation for the MD's poor behavior and service?

←

He also may have thought I was a tourist since I was carrying a garment bag. If that's how they treat tourists at Gallagher's than I understand the bad rap some places get from out of towners.

[Eatmywords]

Crazy story. I'm not really surprised though. I've seen this "we're doing you a favor by allowing you eat here" tough guy attitude in a few steak houses. Is it just me? The fact that a steak house even has a bouncer (if that's what he was) is strange.

[rich]

Crazy story.  I'm not really surprised though.  I've seen this "we're doing you a favor by allowing you eat here" tough guy attitude in a few steak houses.  Is it just me?  The fact that a steak house even has a bouncer (if that's what he was) is strange.

←

I found that strange too. But I'm sure that's what he was - looked the part - very heavy (trying to look tough), shaved head, dumb looking and a very bad suit.

[adegiulio]

I found that strange too. But I'm sure that's what he was - looked the part - very heavy (trying to look tough), shaved head, dumb looking and a very bad suit.

←

Yep, thats a bouncer alright...

It seems like the older I get, the more it dumbfounds how difficult it is for me to give other people my money. Sometimes you have to practically beg people to do business....

[Hank]

Did you or are you going to notify the management, ownership of your horrendous experience. I am certain that they will take the appropriate action so that this will not happen again. No restaurant can afford to have three people walk out when they had more than enough tables to accomodate you. You will also do a big favor to future clients who would like to eat there. and don't want to pay up front for a table.

[rich]

Did you or are you going to notify the management, ownership of your horrendous experience. I am certain that they will take the appropriate action so that this will not happen again. No restaurant can afford to have three people walk out when they had more than enough tables to accomodate you. You will also do a big favor to future clients who would like to eat there. and don't want to pay up front for a table.

←

The person who asked us to leave said he was the manager.

I won't take it any further. It's not worth the time or the effort. Gallagher's management knows what happened (how could they not). Nothing I could do would make them change. It's my fault for going to a tourist trap. I should know better, but it was convenient. Silly me.

[JohnL]

I would say the posters that suggested the MD wanted a "bribe" were on target.

Years ago--maybe fifteen--I had a reservation at Sparks. It was very crowded that night and my guest and I were shunted off to the bar to wait.

After forty five minutes or so and several pleas--I handed over forty bucks and got my table.

I have been to Sparks since (don't ask why--maybe the steaks and wine) and have not needed to grease anyone.

I have also been to Gallaghers several times and have not encountered any similar problems.

However, it is known that in many places in NY these things do go on.

They are in all cases, deplorable.

On top of the bribe "thing" you encountered really obnoxious behaviour.

It's hindsight but for fun--I would have set up a confrontation between the coatcheck person and the maitre d.

"would you please explain to her/him why I can not seem to get a table?"

[rich]

Still bothered by this almost 24 hours later. I totally abhor violence, but in this situation, I probably should have taken some stronger physical action. I hate lowering myself to their level, but it's probably the only thing Gallagher's understands.

Sometimes it's necessary to play by the home team's rules and I'm upset with myself for not doing so. Once the bouncer entered the scene and touched me, I had every right to take whatever action necessary to remove his presence.

And the above post was correct, what's a place like this doing with a bouncer unless they feel it necessary for the manner in which they treat customers.

[docsconz]

Still bothered by this almost 24 hours later. I totally abhor violence, but in this situation, I probably should have taken some stronger physical action. I hate lowering myself to their level, but it's probably the only thing Gallagher's understands.

Sometimes it's necessary to play by the home team's rules and I'm upset with myself for not doing so. Once the bouncer entered the scene and touched me, I had every right to take whatever action necessary to remove his presence.

And the above post was correct, what's a place like this doing with a bouncer unless they feel it necessary for the manner in which they treat customers.

←

Nah, Rich. It sounds to me like you did the right thing.

[Megan Blocker]

Still bothered by this almost 24 hours later. I totally abhor violence, but in this situation, I probably should have taken some stronger physical action. I hate lowering myself to their level, but it's probably the only thing Gallagher's understands.

Sometimes it's necessary to play by the home team's rules and I'm upset with myself for not doing so. Once the bouncer entered the scene and touched me, I had every right to take whatever action necessary to remove his presence.

And the above post was correct, what's a place like this doing with a bouncer unless they feel it necessary for the manner in which they treat customers.

←

Nah, Rich. It sounds to me like you did the right thing.

←

Yeah, I can't quite bring myself to think that physical violence is the way to solve anything involving getting a table in a restaurant. I think leaving and not giving them your business was the best thing you could have done.

[rich]

Still bothered by this almost 24 hours later. I totally abhor violence, but in this situation, I probably should have taken some stronger physical action. I hate lowering myself to their level, but it's probably the only thing Gallagher's understands.

Sometimes it's necessary to play by the home team's rules and I'm upset with myself for not doing so. Once the bouncer entered the scene and touched me, I had every right to take whatever action necessary to remove his presence.

And the above post was correct, what's a place like this doing with a bouncer unless they feel it necessary for the manner in which they treat customers.

←

Nah, Rich. It sounds to me like you did the right thing.

←

Yeah, I can't quite bring myself to think that physical violence is the way to solve anything involving getting a table in a restaurant. I think leaving and not giving them your business was the best thing you could have done.

←

I agree Megan and Doc about physical violence for a silly thing as a table. I was referring to the bouncer.

Don't forget, I was leaving before the the bouncer got involved. It just bothers me that he may do this to someone else who is not physically capable of responding.

I've learned one thing over the years - even the best of us have only four cheeks to turn. At some point the bully must be taught a lesson. If for nothing else then to help the next person who may be in a disadvantageous and/or vulnerable position.

I think if my friend wasn't there or if he wasn't armed, I would have been a bit more agressive. I was concerned that it could have turned into a major incident.

[docsconz]

Still bothered by this almost 24 hours later. I totally abhor violence, but in this situation, I probably should have taken some stronger physical action. I hate lowering myself to their level, but it's probably the only thing Gallagher's understands.

Sometimes it's necessary to play by the home team's rules and I'm upset with myself for not doing so. Once the bouncer entered the scene and touched me, I had every right to take whatever action necessary to remove his presence.

And the above post was correct, what's a place like this doing with a bouncer unless they feel it necessary for the manner in which they treat customers.

←

Nah, Rich. It sounds to me like you did the right thing.

←

Yeah, I can't quite bring myself to think that physical violence is the way to solve anything involving getting a table in a restaurant. I think leaving and not giving them your business was the best thing you could have done.

←

I agree Megan and Doc about physical violence for a silly thing as a table. I was referring to the bouncer.

Don't forget, I was leaving before the the bouncer got involved. It just bothers me that he may do this to someone else who is not physically capable of responding.

I've learned one thing over the years - even the best of us have only four cheeks to turn. At some point the bully must be taught a lesson. If for nothing else then to help the next person who may be in a disadvantageous and/or vulnerable position.

I think if my friend wasn't there or if he wasn't armed, I would have been a bit more agressive. I was concerned that it could have turned into a major incident.

←

It still could have turned into a major incident. It sounds as if you you stood up to him a much as you needed to. It's not worth it IMO.

[jimk]

Well, maybe I'm alone in this perspective, but I think that the MD's bad behavior doesn't excuse the OP's behavior. So they're rude to you - take your stuff from the coat check, eat somewhere else, post on eGullet, and don't go there again. You're the one who lost his temper and escalated the situation.

Were it my restaurant, I'd absolutely expect a bouncer/security to show an out-of-control customer the door, no matter how justified may be in feeling you have been treated badly. Bouncer goon was doing his job and doing it well by the sounds of it - he had every legal right to physically touch you, and he had every right to ask you to leave ... and he wasn't goaded into a fight by you and eventually got you out the door without bloodshed. He'd be wise to put a picture of you up somewhere so that the rest of the staff know you're not welcome. If I owned Gallaghers and read this post, I'd be appalled. I'd fire the MD and give the bouncer a raise. I'd send you a note of apology but I wouldn't let you back into my restaurant.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I'm a bit startled that nobody else has suggested that your behavior was appaling in this situation. I've enjoyed reading your posts since discovering eGullet, and I'm certain that when your temper is under control you're a good guy. I'm the first to complain about bad service from restaurants, and as a result of your post, I'll never eat at Gallaghers. But the fact that 24 hours later you're still wishing you'd thrown a punch at the guy tells me that in this situation you were as much of the problem as the slimy MD, if not more so. Just my two cents ... fire away if you need to ...

[rich]

Well, maybe I'm alone in this perspective, but I think that the MD's bad behavior doesn't excuse the OP's behavior. So they're rude to you - take your stuff from the coat check, eat somewhere else, post on eGullet, and don't go there again. You're the one who lost his temper and escalated the situation.

Were it my restaurant, I'd absolutely expect a bouncer/security to show an out-of-control customer the door, no matter how justified may be in feeling you have been treated badly. Bouncer goon was doing his job and doing it well by the sounds of it - he had every legal right to physically touch you, and he had every right to ask you to leave ... and he wasn't goaded into a fight by you and eventually got you out the door without bloodshed. He'd be wise to put a picture of you up somewhere so that the rest of the staff know you're not welcome. If I owned Gallaghers and read this post, I'd be appalled. I'd fire the MD and give the bouncer a raise. I'd send you a note of apology but I wouldn't let you back into my restaurant.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I'm a bit startled that nobody else has suggested that your behavior was appaling in this situation. I've enjoyed reading your posts since discovering eGullet, and I'm certain that when your temper is under control you're a good guy. I'm the first to complain about bad service from restaurants, and as a result of your post, I'll never eat at Gallaghers. But the fact that 24 hours later you're still wishing you'd thrown a punch at the guy tells me that in this situation you were as much of the problem as the slimy MD, if not more so. Just my two cents ... fire away if you need to ...

←

No, I understand your point of view. My intial reaction was that I overeacted. But after reviewing the situation over again, I came to the opposite conclusion.

I may have escalated the situation, but the MD's comment to me as I was leaving needed a response. He should have let me leave without saying a word. However after I was insulted for the fifth time in fifteen minutes, a response was needed and justified in my opinion.

I disagree the boucer had the right to touch me. I never touched the MD nor was I threatening to touch him, so he had no right to do so. Legally, that's assault. He should have come over, stepped between us and asked what the problem was. He didn't difuse the situation at all (in fact he escalated it further). I difused it when my friend entered the situation. It was me who backed off (that's why I'm somewhat upset). I don't think I was ever out of control. I was angry, but knew exactly what I was doing at all times. I was determined to let other patrons know what was occurring and I think I succeeded.

I didn't say I wish I had thrown a punch at him, but should have pushed his hand away from mine - that's what I went by being more physically aggressive. I also wish I was more aggressive with him verbally. I should have been able to get him to throw the first punch - that would have been the perfect end game. That would have put Gallagher's into financial chaos. And for the record the bouncer never asked me to leave, it was a man who identified himself as a manager.

It matters little if they post my picture on the wall. I won't be returning.

Edited June 8, 2006 by rich (log)

[docsconz]

Well, maybe I'm alone in this perspective, but I think that the MD's bad behavior doesn't excuse the OP's behavior. So they're rude to you - take your stuff from the coat check, eat somewhere else, post on eGullet, and don't go there again. You're the one who lost his temper and escalated the situation.

Were it my restaurant, I'd absolutely expect a bouncer/security to show an out-of-control customer the door, no matter how justified may be in feeling you have been treated badly. Bouncer goon was doing his job and doing it well by the sounds of it - he had every legal right to physically touch you, and he had every right to ask you to leave ... and he wasn't goaded into a fight by you and eventually got you out the door without bloodshed. He'd be wise to put a picture of you up somewhere so that the rest of the staff know you're not welcome. If I owned Gallaghers and read this post, I'd be appalled. I'd fire the MD and give the bouncer a raise. I'd send you a note of apology but I wouldn't let you back into my restaurant.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I'm a bit startled that nobody else has suggested that your behavior was appaling in this situation. I've enjoyed reading your posts since discovering eGullet, and I'm certain that when your temper is under control you're a good guy. I'm the first to complain about bad service from restaurants, and as a result of your post, I'll never eat at Gallaghers. But the fact that 24 hours later you're still wishing you'd thrown a punch at the guy tells me that in this situation you were as much of the problem as the slimy MD, if not more so. Just my two cents ... fire away if you need to ...

←

You raise an interesting discussion point. Because I have a sense of Rich from eGullet and a natural bias for his point of view I take it at face value and trust his story. Yet, I as I am sure everyone else here has seen abusive customers. I don't think it likely that Rich was offensive, abusive or deserving of the behavior he received, but how should a restaurant handle those customers who are? To go further with this not exclusive to Rich's particular situation at Gallagher's would be best on its own thread in General, but it is something to think about. If anybody wants to start that topic be my guest.

[jimk]

I disagree the boucer had the right to touch me. I never touched the MD nor was I threatening to touch him, so he had no right to do so. Legally, that's assault.

←

Fair enough ... agree to disagree ... I've just finished my second year of law school, though, and I can tell you that what you describe would never fly as an assault in New York state. Even 3rd degree misdemeanor assault requires physical injury. Further, business owners have broad protection from both criminal prosecution and civil tort actions when they're acting in the interests of their business and property. It's why Macy's has a jail on their premises and if they suspect you of stealing they can physically detain you. And if it turns out they were wrong and you weren't stealing, you don't really have a criminal or civil remedy, even if they put handcuffs on you and locked you up in a cell. If you could prove that the bouncer had an intent to injure you, that might be another story in a civil context, but him putting his hand on your back? That's not assault ... not even close. [For the record, I'm not a lawyer, and this isn't legal advice ...]

[rich]

You raise an interesting discussion point. Because I have a sense of Rich from eGullet and a natural bias for his point of view I take it at face value and trust his story. Yet, I as I am sure everyone else here has seen abusive customers. I don't think it likely that Rich  was offensive, abusive or deserving of the behavior he received, but how should a restaurant handle those customers who are? To go further with this not exclusive to Rich's particular situation at Gallagher's would be best on its own thread in General, but it is something to think about. If anybody wants to start that topic be my guest.

←

Interesting thought Doc. A valid topic.

However there is also a point where abuse justifies abuse. No one entity can have it all one way.

But I must repeat. I was totally quite calm until the final comment. He just crossed the line. There must be a point where the customer's dignity does matter.

I did nothing more than to ask for table (twice), ask the bartender if we could eat at the bar and ask for my property to be returned to me. Even my parting comment to the MD was say hello to John (not his real name) in an even, though sarcastic, tone of voice.

Is there no point where the customer has the right to give within the same proportion as they get? Do we just take the insults and abuse, put our tail between out legs and slink out the door? Do we check our pride and dignity at the door of a restaurant?

I'm all for handling problems quietly and without fanfare. But five distinct abuses within fifteen minutes is more than anyone should be expected to take.

My wife had criticized me for not berating him and walking out after his first remark about "seeing if he could find us a table." She told me then and there to tell him what he could do with his table and walk out. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and remain cool. But four more insults just didn't cut it.

[docsconz]

You raise an interesting discussion point. Because I have a sense of Rich from eGullet and a natural bias for his point of view I take it at face value and trust his story. Yet, I as I am sure everyone else here has seen abusive customers. I don't think it likely that Rich  was offensive, abusive or deserving of the behavior he received, but how should a restaurant handle those customers who are? To go further with this not exclusive to Rich's particular situation at Gallagher's would be best on its own thread in General, but it is something to think about. If anybody wants to start that topic be my guest.

←

Interesting thought Doc. A valid topic.

However there is also a point where abuse justifies abuse. No one entity can have it all one way.

But I must repeat. I was totally quite calm until the final comment. He just crossed the line. There must be a point where the customer's dignity does matter.

I did nothing more than to ask for table (twice), ask the bartender if we could eat at the bar and ask for my property to be returned to me. Even my parting comment to the MD was say hello to John (not his real name) in an even, though sarcastic, tone of voice.

Is there no point where the customer has the right to give within the same proportion as they get? Do we just take the insults and abuse, put our tail between out legs and slink out the door? Do we check our pride and dignity at the door of a restaurant?

I'm all for handling problems quietly and without fanfare. But five distinct abuses within fifteen minutes is more than anyone should be expected to take.

My wife had criticized me for not berating him and walking out after his first remark about "seeing if he could find us a table." She told me then and there to tell him what he could do with his table and walk out. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and remain cool. But four more insults just didn't cut it.

←

Rich, my comments were not meant to question your specific situation. I don't think you needed to reiterate those points, but thanks anyway. My question is simply from a restaurant's perspective, how should they handle a problem customer. I do not mean to imply that you were the problem. My question is more rhetorical.

[rich]

I disagree the boucer had the right to touch me. I never touched the MD nor was I threatening to touch him, so he had no right to do so. Legally, that's assault.

←

Fair enough ... agree to disagree ... I've just finished my second year of law school, though, and I can tell you that what you describe would never fly as an assault in New York state. Even 3rd degree misdemeanor assault requires physical injury. Further, business owners have broad protection from both criminal prosecution and civil tort actions when they're acting in the interests of their business and property. It's why Macy's has a jail on their premises and if they suspect you of stealing they can physically detain you. And if it turns out they were wrong and you weren't stealing, you don't really have a criminal or civil remedy, even if they put handcuffs on you and locked you up in a cell. If you could prove that the bouncer had an intent to injure you, that might be another story in a civil context, but him putting his hand on your back? That's not assault ... not even close. [For the record, I'm not a lawyer, and this isn't legal advice ...]

←

I agree as you describe above. But he didn't put his hand on my back. He held my hand and attempted to push it down and then wouldn't remove it until he realized I was serious about the consequences. Legally that can be considered assault depending on circumstances since he intiated physical contact.

And I wasn't accused of taking anything - there was nothing to take or steal. It was a verbal disagreement between two people. I wasn't threatening their business or property, if fact I had a difficult time in getting them to return mine. It would have ended there had the bouncer not entered the picture as he did.

[rich]

You raise an interesting discussion point. Because I have a sense of Rich from eGullet and a natural bias for his point of view I take it at face value and trust his story. Yet, I as I am sure everyone else here has seen abusive customers. I don't think it likely that Rich  was offensive, abusive or deserving of the behavior he received, but how should a restaurant handle those customers who are? To go further with this not exclusive to Rich's particular situation at Gallagher's would be best on its own thread in General, but it is something to think about. If anybody wants to start that topic be my guest.

←

Interesting thought Doc. A valid topic.

However there is also a point where abuse justifies abuse. No one entity can have it all one way.

But I must repeat. I was totally quite calm until the final comment. He just crossed the line. There must be a point where the customer's dignity does matter.

I did nothing more than to ask for table (twice), ask the bartender if we could eat at the bar and ask for my property to be returned to me. Even my parting comment to the MD was say hello to John (not his real name) in an even, though sarcastic, tone of voice.

Is there no point where the customer has the right to give within the same proportion as they get? Do we just take the insults and abuse, put our tail between out legs and slink out the door? Do we check our pride and dignity at the door of a restaurant?

I'm all for handling problems quietly and without fanfare. But five distinct abuses within fifteen minutes is more than anyone should be expected to take.

My wife had criticized me for not berating him and walking out after his first remark about "seeing if he could find us a table." She told me then and there to tell him what he could do with his table and walk out. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and remain cool. But four more insults just didn't cut it.

←

Rich, my comments were not meant to question your specific situation. I don't think you needed to reiterate those points, but thanks anyway. My question is simply from a restaurant's perspective, how should they handle a problem customer. I do not mean to imply that you were the problem. My question is more rhetorical.

←

I know that Doc. I was just trying to give a clearer picture of the events and at the same time ask what circumstances justify what responses. It could be a complex situation.

[docsconz]

You raise an interesting discussion point. Because I have a sense of Rich from eGullet and a natural bias for his point of view I take it at face value and trust his story. Yet, I as I am sure everyone else here has seen abusive customers. I don't think it likely that Rich  was offensive, abusive or deserving of the behavior he received, but how should a restaurant handle those customers who are? To go further with this not exclusive to Rich's particular situation at Gallagher's would be best on its own thread in General, but it is something to think about. If anybody wants to start that topic be my guest.

←

Interesting thought Doc. A valid topic.

However there is also a point where abuse justifies abuse. No one entity can have it all one way.

But I must repeat. I was totally quite calm until the final comment. He just crossed the line. There must be a point where the customer's dignity does matter.

I did nothing more than to ask for table (twice), ask the bartender if we could eat at the bar and ask for my property to be returned to me. Even my parting comment to the MD was say hello to John (not his real name) in an even, though sarcastic, tone of voice.

Is there no point where the customer has the right to give within the same proportion as they get? Do we just take the insults and abuse, put our tail between out legs and slink out the door? Do we check our pride and dignity at the door of a restaurant?

I'm all for handling problems quietly and without fanfare. But five distinct abuses within fifteen minutes is more than anyone should be expected to take.

My wife had criticized me for not berating him and walking out after his first remark about "seeing if he could find us a table." She told me then and there to tell him what he could do with his table and walk out. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and remain cool. But four more insults just didn't cut it.

←

Rich, my comments were not meant to question your specific situation. I don't think you needed to reiterate those points, but thanks anyway. My question is simply from a restaurant's perspective, how should they handle a problem customer. I do not mean to imply that you were the problem. My question is more rhetorical.

←

I know that Doc. I was just trying to give a clearer picture of the events and at the same time ask what circumstances justify what responses. It could be a complex situation.

←

Indeed.

[Megan Blocker]

Is there no point where the customer has the right to give within the same proportion as they get? Do we just take the insults and abuse, put our tail between out legs and slink out the door? Do we check our pride and dignity at the door of a restaurant?

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Absolutely not.

But I am of the belief that pride and dignity come not only from defending yourself, but also from knowing when backing out of a no-win situation makes you the bigger person. In this case, leaving was the dignified thing to do.

IMHO, of course.