Chinese Restaurant Experience

[Daniel]

Last night I went to a Chinese Restaurant and experienced something for the first time.. Every person at the table ordered for themselves.. When dinner was served all the dishes were put in the middle of the table with big serving spoons.. Each person then put each dish in front of themselves, eating around the big serving spoon.. It was really a wierd experience.. There were no communal noodle,vegetable, rice, or tofu dishes.. No appetizers were split.. Just every person for themselves.. I ordered a soup and one dish.. For me, eating an enitre plate of squid in black bean sauce felt wrong.. I left completely unsatisfied and bored.. Do people do this often?

Edited May 7, 2006 by Daniel (log)

[BarbaraY]

Nobody I know does this. We usually each pick something, after much discussion, and then share. Seems to me these people don't know much about Chinese dining.

[Megan Blocker]

That is so odd! If you out to a Chinese restaurant, you share! It's one of the best things about going there...tasting a bunch of different things.

That said, there are people I won't go with, because they hog. And other people who won't try new things. These kinds of people are off my list. At least for "sharing" restaurants.

Edited May 7, 2006 by Megan Blocker (log)

[SusanGiff]

Nope. I've never heard of anyone eating Chinese food this way. Must have been frustrating.

Does anyone know how Americans first encountering Chinese food (I'm thinking of when Chinese restaurants began to open up in cities outside New York) "learned" to share it? It seems like such a universal Chinese-restaurant practice (which is why your experience was so odd), but it must have seemed new and strange at one time. Did the proprietors of the restaurants have to teach their patrons to dine family style? Any restaurant historians out there?

Susan

[Jason Perlow]

Nobody I know does this unless you are going with a table of absolute non-foodies. Or if ALL of them are Gentiles. Or if ALL of them have major psychological/emotional problems.

Potential business partners? Walk away!

The only time I don't share Chinese food is if I am out for a quick business lunch and ordering a $7 plate lunch special, where nothing is in a full sized, sharable dinner portion.

Edited May 7, 2006 by Jason Perlow (log)

[Mimi Sheraton]

Americans probably learned to share Chinmese food because Chinese waiters put big bowls and platters in the center of the table, and then gave each diner smal plates and bowls - that being the way the Chinese eat.

Anyone who does not share in a Chinese restaurant should go to jail.

[docsconz]

Not sharing Chinese food is simply unAmerican!

[Sugarella]

Anyone who does not share in a Chinese restaurant should go to jail.

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I agree that this is not the way it's done, especially considering the restaurant did give each dish a big serving spoon. Daniel, did you ask your dining companions about it?

[rjwong]

Last night I went to a Chinese Restaurant and experienced something for the first time.. Every person at the table ordered for themselves.. When dinner was served all the dishes were put in the middle of the table with big serving spoons.. Each person then put each dish in front of themselves, eating around the big serving spoon.. It was really a wierd experience..  There were no communal noodle,vegetable, rice, or tofu dishes.. No appetizers were split.. Just every person for themselves.. I ordered a soup and one dish..  For me, eating an enitre plate of squid in black bean sauce felt wrong.. I left completely unsatisfied and bored.. Do people do this often?

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Daniel, where did you go? Who did you eat with? How many were in the group? Were "they" dead-set against sharing? Were there any Chinese in the group? Were they from New York ... or Manhattan ... or some other planet? Pardon the inquisition ...

The only time I wouldn't share at a Chinese restaurant is when I'm eating by myself (Yes, I don't share with myself ). There are some Chinese dishes that could be described as "complete meals": noodle soups, rice dishes (i.e., Chinese roast duck with tofu over rice), chow mein. Even when I go out to a Chinese restaurant with friends who may not be familiar with the happenings in a Chinese-Chinese restaurant, I would give an explanation of communal Chinese dining. Usually, everyone would go along with that type of dining.

Daniel, if you need some reassurances after that unique experience, just come out to Los Angeles and I'll help you sort this thing out.

[Parmhero]

I've experienced this phenomenon many times, particularly during lunches with co-workers at Chinese restaurants--with two, three, or a dozen people. To clarify up front, I learned to ask whether people wanted to share dishes or have their own individual meals. It's amazing how many times people want their own dishes and don't want to share. I always find it disappointing and sad, but what can you say....

[SuzySushi]

This happened to us once, when we dined out with some good friends. Husband is American, wife is Filipina. She had several friends visiting from the Philippines. The kids (our friends' and ours) were also there.

We ordered with the thought of sharing dishes. They each ordered a "plate" with fried rice and an eggroll.

Strange.

It never occurred to me not to share food in a Chinese restaurant. That was my first restaurant experience as a child. I recall the waiters placing platters in the center of the table then portioning out the first helping to diners. They never asked whether any of us wanted each item; they just assumed everybody was going to eat the same thing.

[Mooshmouse]

This happened to us once, when we dined out with some good friends. Husband is American, wife is Filipina. She had several friends visiting from the Philippines. The kids (our friends' and ours) were also there.

We ordered with the thought of sharing dishes. They each ordered a "plate" with fried rice and an eggroll.

Strange.

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As a Filipina, I can vouch for the fact that I've never, ever seen this done among Filipinos either here in North America or in the Philippines. Bizarre, all right.

[SuzySushi]

This happened to us once, when we dined out with some good friends. Husband is American, wife is Filipina. She had several friends visiting from the Philippines. The kids (our friends' and ours) were also there.

We ordered with the thought of sharing dishes. They each ordered a "plate" with fried rice and an eggroll.

Strange.

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As a Filipina, I can vouch for the fact that I've never, ever seen this done among Filipinos either here in North America or in the Philippines. Bizarre, all right.

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I know, I know. Last weekend, in fact, we "crashed" a Filipino party at our condo's pool complex. I'd brought my daughter and a friend of hers there to swim, and a huge potluck party was going on. The hostess, whom I'd never met before, insisted that we join them, pressing food on us and fixing plates! (First time in my 15 years in Hawaii that I've seen a whole roast pig - lechon.) We even took food home across the lawn! That sounds more typical to me of Filipino hospitality and attitudes toward sharing food.

When these friends come to our house, it's always potluck, so I don't get it.

[Pan]

[...]The only time I wouldn't share at a Chinese restaurant is when I'm eating by myself (Yes, I don't share with myself  ). There are some Chinese dishes that could be described as "complete meals": noodle soups, rice dishes (i.e., Chinese roast duck with tofu over rice), chow mein.[...]

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I've observed some Chinese customers each having their own plate of something over rice and sharing only conversation with one another, but even more often, I've observed Chinese couples sharing things like noodle soups by pouring or spooning from a central bigger bowl into two smaller bowls.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with an old high school schoolmate who turns out to have the quirk of not sharing food. I wonder whether that will hold true when we go out to a Chinese restaurant. It did hold true with bubble tea. I agree that it's a pity not to share in a Chinese restaurant, because aside from the company, that's the best thing about being part of a group -- being able to try more dishes than you would get if you went alone.

[Hest88]

How weird. It's one thing to do it with noodles or rice plates, but if ordering dishes with separate (communal) rice it would be very strange!

[S_tran]

That is very strange, sharing is always the best part of going to chinese restaurants. After work when my friends and I decide to go out to eat at late night chinese restaurants we always pick something, order some rice and share everything 'family style'. When you share your food you share the memories that come with it. Good times...

[jkonick]

I have experienced this a lot, and I hate it! My favorite part of eating at Chinese restaurants is the sharing and conviviality involved, yet I've witnessed groups of 12 or more people all put the dishes their food is served in ON TOP OF their plates! Why do you think they give you those other plates? So you can precariously balance your too-large dish on top of them?

My roommate asked me a few weeks ago to find a good Chinese restaurant for his birthday party. I agreed, and decided on a pretty restaurant within our student budget. Although it wasn't super expensive, the food is good so I was excited to have such a large group and be able to taste a lot of things.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I started hearing things like "cashew chicken," "chow mein," "pineapple fried rice," and "oh, I'm sure they'll just put tofu in things to make it vegetarian if we ask." When the food arrived and everyone took their dishes off the lazy susan (again, what is that for? spinning for fun???) I completely gave up. I should've just taken them to Magic Dragon!

A few times I've tried to encourage my friends to share dishes, but either they'll take a tiny bit from someone else and go back ot their own (or I'll take theirs, and they won't take any of mine, which makes it more awkward) or they'll just say outright that they're not into the whole "sharing"thing.

Edited May 8, 2006 by jkonick (log)

[scottie]

I've definitely experienced this when dining out with co-workers or with other people who don't know each other very well.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with an old high school schoolmate who turns out to have the quirk of not sharing food.

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My little brother always used to break into tears when the rest of the family just assumed we were all sharing! He eventually got over his "quirk"- he had to, in our family.

[Behemoth]

My German in-laws do this. But given that they tend to go for the completely disgusting options like bright orange sweet and sour I consider it kind of a blessing.

[yunnermeier]

it's the same thing here in the netherlands too. as if the fact that chinese restaurants here all sell babi panggang (indonesian roast beef or something) and it being the most popular 'chinese' dish here aren't bad enough, i have to eat just one dish with my rice!

A simple Chinese dinner for two in Malaysia is usually 1 meat, 1 fish (or maybe just 2 meats or 1 tofu or whatever) and 1 vegetable dish. Here, I'm stuck with black bean pork & rice (and my vegetable intake consists of tauge or bits of lettuce in my black bean dish)

[gini]

When the food arrived and everyone took their dishes off the lazy susan (again, what is that for? spinning for fun???) I completely gave up.

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You beat me to it! I was just about to ask what the hell the lazy susan is for if not for the ease of sharing dishes? Has common sense just flown out the window with these people??

[Simon_S]

A few times I've tried to encourage my friends to share dishes, but either they'll take a tiny bit from someone else and go back ot their own (or I'll take theirs, and they won't take any of mine, which makes it more awkward) or they'll just say outright that they're not into the whole "sharing"thing.

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You know, I'm surprised that this thread has caused such surprise! I'm definitely one of those people who'll taste a bit of everything I like the sound of, but then go back to my own.

Simply put, if I ordered it, it's because I like it and want to eat it. By extension, it's quite possible that others have ordered things that I have no intention of eating (sweet and sour for example), so I don't really see why sharing should be taken as read.

Of course, if everyone starts with the express understanding that we're sharing everything, then suitable orders can be made, and that's great. I'm more than happy to do the whole communal thing. Indeed, that's the way I will always eat if at a Chinese restaurant with my girlfriend. However, if everyone orders a dish that they like without any consultation with the table, it seems strange to me that everything would then be shared equally. The larger the group, the stranger I would find it.

I don't really see why Chinese food is different to any other food in this regard.

Si

[alanamoana]

anybody get the feeling there are just too many "panda expresses" around and people are getting too comfortable with getting their own combo plate to share?! i mean it really isn't chinese food, so why should you share, right?

that kind of thing just wouldn't fly at my parents' house...we have a huge dining room table with a huge lazy susan...specifically for sharing!

[Werdna]

Odd that sharing meals is so fun, but seems limited to asian meals.

I'd sure like to see more (are there any?) western restaurants themed around sharing... big lazy susan (to try to make it obvious what people are supposed to do), starches, meats and veggies ordered as individual dishes instead of all being arranged on one plate. Heck, that’s how we all eat at home anyway, and it's how we eat the appetizers.

Maybe it's the steak, or the big-chunk-of-lasagna meals that are the tripping point, but with a little creativity you could overcome that.

[ratgirlny]

Can I be the lone crank here? I really don't like sharing, except in the very limited situation of being at a good (authentic) Chinese restaurant with a group of like minded friends.

But in most situations, I hate sharing. Why? Well, for one, I like choosing what I want to eat. I don't want to eat other people's choices. When I approach a menu, I usually give a lot of thought to what I want to eat, and in what order. Also, I am a slow eater. I hate, absolutely hate it when I have ordered something really yummy, and only get a small bit of it because all the other people at the table have devoured it.