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How to Give a Dinner Party


Malawry

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I counsel non-cooking friends to make fairly simple things, but practice making them value-added. E.g., I told a friend how to make browned goat cheese rounds covered in breadcrumbs and herbs, and home-made croutons of diagonally-sliced baguette rubbed lightly with garlic, both placed just so on a plate of (exquisitely rinsed and especially dried) dressed special greens. Nut oil and delicious vinegar in the (made ahead) vinaigrette.

Dead-simple daily stuff to a cook, but she couldn't believe how impressed her guests were, and has gone on fearlessly making this in variation ever since.

Also, in very early days of dinner-party-giving, I agree that perfecting what amounts to a signature menu is good--so long as it's a well-thought-out menu, maybe with seasonal adjustments, that people look forward to with relish, and is not solely based on ease or cheapness or other non-taste criteria. Anna, the family cook in the Betsy-Tacy books, said as much to Betsy in Betsy and Joe, I think it was.

More wine than you would imagine your planned group could consume, definitely. A couple bottles pre-opened, and the rest at obvious intervals, as mentioned. Non-alcoholic option, always. Plenty of ice, already socked away.

More bread, if it a bread-accompanied meal, than seems necessary, as well. Small, great-looking portions, whether plated or (as we often do) served at table. Overlarge servings make people uncomfortable. I think having more to whisk out for those who have scarfed the first with alacrity is often the perfect thing, can be a real conversation spur (and is of course a boost for the cook).

Priscilla

Writer, cook, & c. ●  Twitter

 

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Edit to say that after a minute's thought...I'd say it's better to entertain with paper plates (Chinet, not the flimsy ones  :biggrin: ) than be afraid to have company because you don't have enough dishes or silverware.

Or you can always rent. Rentals are not that expensive if you're just having 12 or 20 people over for dinner, and they'll fit in your car. It's when you start renting tables, chairs, linens, chafing dishes, serving platters, salt and pepper shakers, butter ramekins and so on and so forth that the cost gets exorbitant. Renting tableware for most dinner parties is very affordable. And many rental companies allow you to return dirties!

True, but what novice entertainer is going to rent silverware for a barbecue? And while the cost may not be exorbitant, for young people just starting out it might be a burden. It makes sense for a large dinner party.

And y'all can go ahead and talk smack about if me you like :wink: but I have been known to use paper plates for very large parties.

I've had a number of hotlucks and barbecues in my backyard for groups of 50 to 100 people. Foam plates and bowls hold up even better than Chinet. They are far from ideal from an environmental standpoint, but are the only thing that works for people that are eating hot, greasy food while standing up.

Jim

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Two more thoughts.

For a buffet/open house type party, or even and outdoor BBQ, (anything not seated and plated, I suppose) place food and drinks in multiple spots so guests don't clog one area.

As for the paper plate thing, I suppose I should clarify. Real plates are always nicer than paper. I get annoyed when someone has a small gathering and uses paper plates. This doesn't even ease clean up, really! But for gatherings of more people than one can reasonably be expected to have place settings, I'm not so bothered by the disposables.

Bridget Avila

My Blog

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I don't entertain often, so I have to remember how each time.

For your students, Malawry, I would suggest maybe a theme. My last dinner party was to share some nice Shiraz I had. I ended up getting a sparkling Shiraz to begin with, and put a little Shiraz in the dessert, as well. Or if there's a particular dish they want to do, they should revolve the rest of the dinner around it, to make sure that it all works together. Well, that's just common sense. It's nice to fix on one theme or idea, and let it inspire the rest of the meal.

While it really doesn't matter if you have fancy, expensive china (well I hope it doesn't! :wink:), it helps to cook things that will look attractive on what you do have.

Plan your shopping as much as your cooking. If you are using special ingredients, figure out where you want to buy them and plan your route, so you don't end up driving back and forth and up hill and down dale the day of or day before.

I usually cook at least one new dish for dinner parties, but always something that I am confident I can pull off. Anything I'm nervous about, I make ahead so that there's time to re-do it or substitute if necessary.

Plating and garnishing can make a huge difference for a party: you don't have to go all Jackson Pollack or anything, but the plating, the colours of the food, and even simple garnishes like lemon wheels or chopped parsley or the ubiquitous thyme and rosemary stalks can dress up an everyday dish, and that's easy for a new cook to accomplish.

I add to the voices of prep your table early, but not too early if you have nosy pets who are likely to walk all over your settings or smash your glasses. :ermm:

Warm your plates.

Don't worry about it when you forget the bread in the oven (in the paper bag, run under the tap, keeps it from drying out), I always do. Put butter on the table, it might remind you.

Agenda-free since 1966.

Foodblog: Power, Convection and Lies

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From the other side of the kitchen:

Cooking a labour intensive meal that causes you to spend most of your time in the kitchen can be a useful tool when the dinner party is for people you HAVE to host and/or problem guests (often family or in-laws). :biggrin::shock: This can insure that you enjoy the gathering as well, if from a distance...

2nd tip: Never, ever worry about inviting people who may be more accomplished in the kitchen than you.....trust me, they don't care, they are just happy to be invited!

Barbara Laidlaw aka "Jake"

Good friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies.

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I see I am coming a bit late to this discussion...

My best advice is to practice, practice, practice. The more dinner parties you give, the better you will be at throwing them.

It's always been interesting for me to observe how few of our friends actually entertain in their homes, despite the fact that many of our friends are serious foodies. We have people over to our apartment at least once a week, if not more often. I think a lot of people don't entertain because they think it's a big deal, and it's a lot of trouble, and they have to do something really fancy, etc. But really, it's okay to have some friends over and just make spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread and a salad. Later, as your experience grows, you start to feel more confident about doing more complicated things and exploring more formal concepts, if that's where your interests lead you.

--

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repeating a few memes, no doubt...

1. entertaining is a mindset as much as a to-do list. one can entertain when even one person comes over, and one probably should, because the more one entertains, the better one gets at it.

2. plan the menu ahead. make as much of it ahead of time as possible. guests come to see you, so it's disappointing for them if the host is to busy with prepping and cooking to mingle.

3. cleaning is +terribly+ important. make sure all the dishware and glasses are clean (it's embarrassing to notice a water/mineral stain as you pass a glass of wine to a guest), make sure the linens are clean.

4. MAKE SURE THE BATHROOM IS cLEAN!! +sparkling+ clean. guests will not tell you about the dust bunnies or stains they notice. but if they do notice, it will affect the experience. i always put out 3 or 4 hand towels (not those gimmicky guest/fingertip towels with the embroideries that don't do the job). i put out 3 to 4 hand towels, folded up nicely on the counter and/or on the rack. bath towels and washcloths are +not+ appropriate (and not because it's an emily post issue, but who wants to think about drying one's hands on a towel that was used to dry private parts? even if it's clean, it's really not best to offer bath towels or washcloths). make sure there's enough toilet paper available (in view is best, so guests don't panic as they start to rummage through one's cabinets).

5. i try to do all my vacuuming the evening before or the morning of, to allow dust particles that might have been stirred up a chance to settle. i try to do this for people with allergies (people with allergies, does this help you?)

6. it's best to have the table set and the candles lit and the music playing before guests arrive, because a beautifully presented table (with all atmospheric accompaniments) is so powerful and welcoming. however, if this is not done, it's a great way to make use of the first few guests who arrive who feel awkward for being first and ask how they can help.

7. when a guest arrives, a) take her/his coat, b) offer her/him a drink, c) offer her/him an hors d'oeurve.

8. go with real linen or cotton for the tablecloth and napkins. vintage and antique tablecloths and napkins can be gotten very inexpensively at tag sales, estate sales, and -- especially -- ebay. $10-$50 for a huge, dining room tablecloth. polyester feels artifical and has a poorer appearance. it really makes a difference.

9. make sure the garbage can is accessible. i also highly recommend garbage cans that are enclosed. it makes a huge, positive impact not to see the gappy, white plastic insides of the trash bag filled with the evening's detrius.

10. if you have guests that don't know each other well, it's your job to introduce them and introduce areas of conversation in which they both might have an interest or experience. also take note of your guests regarding seating. one of my regular guests is hard of hearing (but he won't point this out to others so much), so i sit him next to people (generally) who have louder voices.

11. if the dessert is store-bought, take it out of the entemann's box and put it on a nice presentation plate (generally, i'd recommend going the extra mile to either have someone bring a homemade dessert or make it oneself).

12. be careful when someone offers to bring "something," even if it's +sounds+ specific, like "dessert." if the guest winds up bringing a box of danish from the supermarket and the host feels that it's not a fit for the meal because it's mass-produced, well, that's a wrinkle that could have been avoided.

13. VERY IMPORTANT -- +DON'T+ assume your guests will know the dress code. if there is one, let them know. i was astonished last year when one of my relatives showed up at my 6-course birthday dinner with paired wines, antique silverware, antique linens, antique china (borrowed from her) dressed in sweats. i was doubly astonished as i had been discussing the 6 courses with her (quail eggs, caviar, etc.) weeks in advance. NEVER assume.

14. ALSO VERY IMPORTANT -- don't assume that guests know that they are or are not free to bring someone. if you have limited seating, whether due to budget, space or intimacy of the event, let them know. uninvited guests can be very problematic.

cheers :)

Edited by halloweencat (log)
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I'm having an engaged couple over to my house in 2 weeks. I think I will serve: Hors d'oeuvres, salad, entree, and dessert.

Problem is, I think I'd also like to have a cheese plate, too. Where would this fit in the natural progression of a dinner? I think I've heard most people refer to it as an after-dinner thing, so would it be before or after dessert? Or maybe in place of dessert?

Edited by echocolate (log)
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I think a succinct sound bit for the noobs is:"If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail." This applies to so many aspects in life but it applies beautifully to the whole cooking & entertaining concept.

Also, please do not greet your guests at the door with drinks. This is off-putting and awkward. Let them get in the door first and put down coats, purses, etc. If you have a "signature drink" for the evening, you can offer it up once they are in.

There are so many wonderful mentions in this thread. I think it is quite useful for anyone of any cooking level to brush up on if they are not frequent entertainers.

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I'm having an engaged couple over to my house in 2 weeks.  I think I will serve: Hors d'oeuvres, salad, entree, and dessert. 

Problem is, I think I'd also like to have a cheese plate, too.  Where would this fit in the natural progression of a dinner?  I think I've heard most people refer to it as an after-dinner thing, so would it be before or after dessert?  Or maybe in place of dessert?

I serve cheese between the entree and dessert. Actually, if the entree is anything at all rich, I like the progression to be more like: starter, entree, salad, cheese, dessert--the salad helps refresh the palate between the entree and the cheese.

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I'm having an engaged couple over to my house in 2 weeks.  I think I will serve: Hors d'oeuvres, salad, entree, and dessert. 

Problem is, I think I'd also like to have a cheese plate, too.  Where would this fit in the natural progression of a dinner?  I think I've heard most people refer to it as an after-dinner thing, so would it be before or after dessert?  Or maybe in place of dessert?

Generally, I'm with Rochelle, and will offer a cheese plate before dessert. However, I've been known to put cheese and really good crackers out as an hors d'oeuvres as well.

I also tend to prefer a cheese plate to dessert though, so it's nice to have a choice.

Marlene

Practice. Do it over. Get it right.

Mostly, I want people to be as happy eating my food as I am cooking it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
echocolate, it works nicely to have the cheese before the dessert because you can finish up your wine with the cheese, then you can serve coffee/liqueurs/what have you with the dessert, if you like.

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I had to postpone the dinner party to this Sunday night, and will start thinking about/hunting for cheese this week.

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This may sound obvious, and I may offend pet people here, but be willing/able to put your pets outside, or in a spare bedroom, if there are guests that are a) severely allergic or b) have problems, or your pets have problems (the cat always throws up when company's there, or your huge dog likes to jump up on people).

I usually warn people in advance that we have a cat, so they can take whatever precautions they may need to (allergy medicine, or whatever).

And for heaven's sake, you might think it charming when Bootsy licks your plate clean, but your guests will likely be horrified and wonder how clean their own plates are!

"I just hate health food"--Julia Child

Jennifer Garner

buttercream pastries

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This may sound obvious, and I may offend pet people here, but be willing/able to put your pets outside, or in a spare bedroom, if there are guests that are a) severely allergic or b) have problems, or your pets have problems (the cat always throws up when company's there, or your huge dog likes to jump up on people).

I usually warn people in advance that we have a cat, so they can take whatever precautions they may need to (allergy medicine, or whatever).

And for heaven's sake, you might think it charming when Bootsy licks your plate clean, but your guests will likely be horrified and wonder how clean their own plates are!

I agree while my dog gets used to company after a while, we usually keep her in a seperate room while we are having a party. This is also beneficial for the dog, a lot of people feel "sorry" for the dog and give them "just a little"; they don't have to deal with the aftermath.

On a more serious note my SIL knows we have a dog and pops her medicine before coming over and brings her inhaler just in case.

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  • 3 years later...

I've been reviewing this topic in preparation for a 30+ person event next week, an it's been invaluable. I'm also hoping to have the event outdoors -- an insane plan given the weather this "summer" on the east coast -- so I have two sets of plans, inside and outside.

A few items that I think haven't been mentioned, or that I missed, or that are worth repeating:

  • Be creative about serving utensils, plates, glasses, etc. Instead of shopping for "high-end" plastic or reinforced paper plates, we hit eBay and found two massive sets of midcentury melamine plates and platters that suit our tastes and the tastes of our guests perfectly. (Yes, I know about the melamine concerns but don't share them.) I've also been scouring thrift stores for years and have a massive collection of cocktail glasses that we can use instead of plastic, as well as a wide range of serving utensils.
  • Seconding the pets advice. We haven't been able to find a friend for our coonhound, so he's taking over a bedroom upstairs.
  • We once made the mistake of putting bottled items into the ice tub and, as they cooled, they also lost their labels. :huh: So I'm doing a test run this weekend and may be recruiting the kids to make a sign explaining the labeling system they devise.
  • Simple grilled meats (I'm doing smoked tenderloin and brined chicken wings) are a nice solution and offer variety if you have some sauces to go with. I think I'm doing an aoili, chimichurri, and a lime/peanut sauce.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

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