Crappiest Day EVERRR

[maggiethecat]

When I have especially crappy days, I like to make voodoo dolls out of hamburger meat, cocktail olives, bacon, and tater tots, and deep fry them. Then I eat them according to ancient Satanic ritual while standing over a pentagram, while watching Rachael Ray on Food Network -- although if Rachael is not avaliable, I'll settle for one of my archived Tivo episodes of Sandra Lee. Then I'll make a nice big Haagen Daz strawberry and Percocet milkshake, and finish it off with a nice tall snifter of small batch bourbon or aged rum.

The problem is, I've now run out of friends and family and eGullet staff to kill in effigy and my cholestorol count is now at like 600, I am currently enrolled in a twelve step program and am under constant psychiatric observation.

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Well, at least you're honest, unlike that Shaw guy who lies like an Aubusson.

I have no fault to find with any of these suggestions except for Steven's drivel. Comfort me with apples, salad or Perrier indeed.

Caviar and a spoon would answer the purpose, but if you can afford it, you don't need it! From hard experience I've decided to save cocktails for happy times, and drink a bottle of a nice white all by myself for bad times -- easier on the head when you have to face up to crap reality tomorrow. If there is some kind of culinary harmonic convergence --some cold poached salmon, buttered baguette, mayo on the side and a handful of really good fresh cherries, followed by a bubblebath with the last glass of Vouvray (or Gallo French Columbard) and a Carl Hiassen or Georgette Heyer, life will look brighter.

Otherwise it's unnatural acts with pasta, bacon, cream, gorgonzola and whatever music will make you sob so hard you'll step from your bath into bed and slip into sleep. Um, sex with or without a partner helps, but please don't take this observation as an invitation to highjack this thread off-topic.

I'm turning my pot roast and sauce and root veg from last night into pot pie -- I froze some puff pastry. And I have a new Carl Hiassen and a clean bathtub. Could be worse.

[LindaK]

I missed offering suggestions for tonight, but perhaps for Thursday...or the next bad day...

I reach for risotto, a variation on the mac and cheese theme. Crank the music (opera? Dvorak? Brian Ferry? Hank Williams? your call), pour a glass from that bottle of wine, and start stirring. Zen therapy, carbs, and cheese, all rolled into one sublime dish. Sing, drink, eat.

Hope tomorrow is better.

[KevV]

Bad day? ...

Forget the food, I would drink. No beer. Scotch or brandy straight up, or v.strong gin&tonics.

Play some favourite songs - loud - depending on your mood (angry, depressed...). Play drums in the basement. Kick soccer balls against the wall.

[Lady T]

Depending on your recipe, risotto is always a good excuse to (a) indulge in cheese, (b) indulge in good white wine, © think up something luscious for dessert afterward. (Hint: a baked apple, with thick cream, is one of God's gifts.)

And I have said it before on this site: the aroma of simmering broth/butter/white wine/garlic and/or shallots, just before the rice goes in, is enough to heal a whole lot of hurts all by itself, even before the risotto is done.

[maggiethecat]

Depending on your recipe, risotto is always a good excuse to (a) indulge in cheese, (b) indulge in good white wine, © think up something luscious for dessert afterward.  (Hint: a baked apple, with thick cream, is one of God's gifts.)

And I have said it before on this site:  the aroma of simmering broth/butter/white wine/garlic and/or shallots, just before the rice goes in, is enough to heal a whole lot of hurts all by itself, even before the risotto is done.

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Amen, Sister.

[Brioche57]

Sorry about your bad day.........commiseration is cool though..........my faves........

Mac and cheese (Stouffers, don't kick me out here) Mashed potatoes, tater tots, salt and vinegar potato chips, burger and fries, anything dipped in ranch dressing, chocolate (the good stuff) beer, wine (red) vodka......

[jgm]

Melt down a high-quality bittersweet chocolate bar; add milk, cream, half a pinch of salt and whisk; top with copious quantities of butterscotch schnapps, and damn the calories.

Consume in a hot bath.

If you're not there yet, follow with Amaretto on the rocks. Lots of it.

[dvs]

i find fernet to be the ultimate attitude adjustment in a shot glass... but thats just me

[Ling]

Aww...I am sorry you're having a bad day.

I would go for good ol' pork schnitzel with lots of gravy, chicken pot pie, or lasagna. Anything with lots of pasta and gooey cheese would make me feel a bit better.

Making an apple pie would lift my spirits too. Nothing beats the smell of a spicy cinnamony apple pie baking.

[etalanian]

Hope things look up for you.

When I'm down I turn on the music, cook something quick, then settle in with a pint of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk and a bottle of champagne. Always takes the pain away.

[Jennifer Iannolo]

I like to have small salad of organic baby lettuces and mixed sprouts with a light vinaigrette, plus some multigrain bread and a glass of carrot juice with ginger and wheatgrass.

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LMAO!!!! I love you, Fat Guy.

Edited to add: Mac and cheese. With roquefort, a little foie mousse, and a dash of grated truffle. That will make anything bad go away.

Edited January 31, 2006 by Jennifer Iannolo (log)

[Zucchini Mama]

Well, in our house we're going through the stomach flu blues, so I commiserate with you as well. I find that as soon as I can make it past crackers and yogurt I head to my favorite Pho and order that creamy spicey coconut milk chicken and potato curry over vermicelli and fresh bean sprouts. It has tranformative properties.

Also, I'm eating my way through a Green and Black's Hazelnut and Currant Bittersweet chocolate bar while reading these posts! Advil and a heating pad. Salad can go to hell.

Zuke

[petite tête de chou]

What a dreadful day, Marmish.

I can save a really bad day with good scotch, a crappy cigar and Hunter S. Thompson.

[byron]

I've found that tough days are best for wine only, no hard stuff. Splurge on the wine, you deserve it and nobody that you might have had difficulties with will be drinking as well as you.

Perhaps some warm bread and high quality butter or a really good cheese to see where the food urge takes you.

Crank up some comfortable music and remember the ambiance of control is a reward unto itself.

[Rebecca263]

On my worst days(um, thanks, Mr.FBI- You #%$@. Oh, and my health? It #$@'s, too!) I WANT to eat anything that I see. Pasta tossed with parmesan reggiano, egg, cracked pepper and olive oil, or simply tossed with blue cheese and a bit of parsley, is my crave. Of course, it's not enough, even if I've eaten 2 bowls! So... chocolate, and I don't care what kind as long as there is no DAIRY involved. Then a mixed salad with some berries, scallions, greens, garlic and anchovies, plus more cheese... FINALLY-I fumble in the dining room for whatever alcohol that I can find, and I hope that it's a really dark rum, mix the stuff with raw sugar and milk, drink it, hide under my covers, and moan. All those carbs always make me worse, later, but I don't CARE! Welcome to the mud club, dear, and I hope your visit is a short one. Or I eat some meat. Raw. I once ate a pound and a half of steak in one go. Then go for the chocolate and alcohol, then do the diving under the covers bit. I still feel awful later, but it tastes good getting there.

EDITED BY ME TO ADD THIS: If I could have fresh beets prepared and served by someone who loves me, or a similarly inveigled coffee, or ANYTHING in that vein,well, I wouldn't need to be comforted, would I?

Edited January 31, 2006 by Rebecca263 (log)

[FabulousFoodBabe]

A whole bag of Circus Peanuts. Preferably from a gas station on a long stretch of road, so they're a little bit stale. Works every time.

[Portia_Smith]

So sorry about your bad day - why do all the crappy things have to converge on us at once?

My first thought was mac and cheese too - with gruyere as my cheese-o-choice and breadcrumbs on to it's gotta have crunch. And red wine to drink. Lots of red wine.

the obvious problem is then you'll have a mother of a hang over tomorrow if you follow my suggestions. maybe there's something in fat guys suggestion after all? i'd probably have the carb/wine/booze buzz followed by the almighty crash than the virtuous buzz.

hope things are getting better.

[Angela Alaimo]

I like to have small salad of organic baby lettuces and mixed sprouts with a light vinaigrette, plus some multigrain bread and a glass of carrot juice with ginger and wheatgrass.

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This is the funniest thing I've read all day...

[saskanuck]

What a load of crap, FatGuy!

My go-to foods for a bad day are any kind of pasta, but especially tortellini with cream and mushroom sauce, some good olives, a glass or 4 of white wine, and dark chocolate later to top it off. Good bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dip it in might be another option.

A bag of Miss Vickie's chips might work its way in there too, along with a good book and a hot bath with some nice-smelling bubbles.

[sazji]

I have several comfort foods... one is baked potatoes, topped with sliced mushrooms sauteed in garlic butter and topped with plenty of grated parmesan (or parmesano reggiano if you got it).

Another is a squash soup I make with winter squash, steamed and pureed, then thinned down with fresh-squeezed orange juice, a bit of hot pepper, and a splash of coconut milk.

I don't want to sound too obseqious but I would second Ling's recommendation of apple pie, especially her recipe which is in recipe.gullet! (But I don't do the freezing part, you can't afford to wait that long!)

As for alcohol - well, I've seen a bit too much of the destructive side of alcohol to use it for comfort, but I have a quince liqueur that is damn good splashed over a cube of ice...

[lesfen]

So stupid, but Smarties candy always makes me feel better. Must be a "kid again" thing. When I have a day that's that bad, I usually don't feel like eating.

Other than that, bad days call for red wine and an evening to get re-acquainted with your CD collection.

[MarketStEl]

Depending on the level of crappiness, in increasing order:

Half a pound of Cheddar or whatever cheese is already open.

A bag of chips. The 20-ounce Big Bag of Utz, preferably, with onion dip.

The entire contents of the fridge.

Today is in the middle of the crappiness scale. I'm going to fix pork chops for dinner.

[Marmish]

I'm unhappy to report one more crappy thing that happened to me yesterday. My oven's digital display says there's a button stuck and the oven light won't go off.

I am VERY happy to also report that today went much better. I was not the worse for wear after all that red wine, and I think I will not be quitting my job in a snit, strangling any adolescent children, or otherwise ending some situation of mine in a tragic manner. But there's always tomorrow. I may be back.

In the meantime, thanks oodles for all your commiserating and yummy ideas. It's interesting to see how similar our ideas of comfort foods are. They range a variety of ethnicities, but you can't beat pasta and chocolate no matter what form they take.

[LynDel]

I realize that my list is very strange.... I laughed out loud at Fat Guy's salad response though!

Pasta, if I'm at work and can't make it, it can range from the Stouffer's mac n' cheese I can microwave at work to the take out spaghetti and deep fried chicken cutlet from the pizza joint across the street.

Ice cream as long as it's not frozen yogurt or low fat

Sushi

Sometimes salty and crunchy snacks.

A latte beverage of some sorts

Coca-Cola (I gave up alcohol quite a few years ago)

[hjshorter]

I like to have small salad of organic baby lettuces and mixed sprouts with a light vinaigrette, plus some multigrain bread and a glass of carrot juice with ginger and wheatgrass.

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Oh, piss off.

I'm usually a gin gal, but emotional emergencies call for something sweet, like bourbon. And something caloric without a lot of prep, because I tend to cut myself when my attention isn't fully on task. Steak, cheeseburgers, ice cream, loaded baked potatoes...

Edited to add chocolate, and pie.

Edited February 1, 2006 by hjshorter (log)