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Childhood Myths About Food


Fresser
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Parents will tell their kids almost anything to get the munchkins to cooperate. When I was a wee sprout, Mama Fresser would sit me down after bathtime and wield the mighty Q-Tip to clean out my ears. I was squirmy, so to get me to sit still, she would peer in my ears and exclaim, "Oh, look--you have a garden in your ears!"

Digging about a bit, she would announce, "Oh, we have carrots! Potatoes!"

"What else? What else?" I would squeal excitedly as she pulled produce from my ears. "Onions! Here's some cauliflower and potatoes." Cabbage was a popular crop to pull from my ear canal as well. Cucumbers, however, were curiously absent, as was any sort of fruit. I guess there was no room for a pineapple in there.

The funniest part is that a few months ago, Mama Fresser and I laughed about this goofy ritual when I blurted out, "Mama, you were pulling carrots and cauliflower from my ears when I was a kid and you wondered why I wouldn't eat my vegetables!" :laugh:

Edited by Fresser (log)

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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And the reason why I had to start wearing glasses in the second grade was not because everyone in my family wore them, nor was it because of the fact that I used to hide under the covers with a flashlight for hours at bedtime secretly reading books, or for any other reason at all.

It was because I did not eat my carrots.

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And here is some knowledge that only children know. Grown-ups lose this wisdom, as it does not affect them in their elderly state. . .therefore children always have to know this secret themselves and follow its tenet to the rule or disaster will occur.

Eating liver will kill you.

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Sorry. Can't seem to stop. :biggrin:

Eating spinach (if you are a girl) will make you smart.

If you are a boy it will make you strong like Popeye.

...................................................................

Some people I grew up with believed that if you ate fish on Friday you were among the Righteous and Good. Anyone who did not eat fish on Friday obviously by default was doomed to roast in the flames of eternal Hell when the time came.

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And here is some knowledge that only children know. Grown-ups lose this wisdom, as it does not affect them in their elderly state. . .therefore children always have to know this secret themselves and follow its tenet to the rule or disaster will occur.

Eating liver will kill you.

Please include all other kinds of animal organs while you're at it. :biggrin:

Mom keeps trying to make me eat the stuff because it's high in iron, and she's been anemic enough to land in hospitale before, so she worries a lot about it. Her sister too.

May

Totally More-ish: The New and Improved Foodblog

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Wonder Bread, however, "builds strong bodies twelve ways".

And if you tear off the crusts from the slices and press them between your hands till they form little round balls, it is quite adequate nourishment for the entire day.

Obviously it is unneccesary to wash your hands before doing this. Only friendly bacteria ever grows on Wonder Bread. :smile:

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Sorry. Can't seem to stop.  :biggrin:

Eating spinach (if you are a girl) will make you smart.

If you are a boy it will make you strong like Popeye.

I ate spinach pancakes while growing up. Now I'm strong like Popeye, but I have his skinny biceps as well.

Conspicuous by her absence is a skinny girlfriend named Olive Oyl. And were she here, would she be "Extra Virgin?"

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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Conspicuous by her absence is a skinny girlfriend named Olive Oyl.  And were she here,  would she be "Extra Virgin?"

Olive Oyl became a cooking show host. Brutus, naturally, is a network producer.

What nobody ever really knew about Olive Oyl, though, is something that belongs in this thread, too.

Drinking coffee will stunt your growth.

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Doesn't it just do your heart good to think of the hundreds of thousands of children that "get their wish" (that they quietly intoned under their breath) fulfilled every day of the year, when they end up breaking off the larger part of the wishbone from the chicken?

Edited by Carrot Top (log)
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Eating toast crust will make your hair curley!

SB (likes crust anyway)(but not curley hair) :wink:

My grandma told us that eating the crust on the challah bread would make your teeth strong!

"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast" - Oscar Wilde

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Anyone else remember the song "You'll have to speak up, I've got beans in my ears" ?? They just don't write 'em like that anymore!

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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Not quite the same thing, but I'm sure we all heard about the starving children in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc who would be only too happy to eat he food we didn't finish?

SB (wondrers what ploy mothers in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc used to get their kids to eat?) :blink:

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We were told not to swallow chewing gum, because it would stick to our ribs.

Hah! We were told not to swallow chewing gum, because it would gather in our appendix and burst.

I also believed my father when he told me the Cream of Wheat bowl was following me in the wintertime.

"Oh, tuna. Tuna, tuna, tuna." -Andy Bernard, The Office
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Not quite the same thing, but I'm sure we all heard about the starving children in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc who would be only too happy to eat he food we didn't finish?

SB (wondrers what ploy mothers in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc used to get their kids to eat?) :blink:

A show of hands: Did anyone really, truly, say to their mother, "Oh yeah? Name one!" when she told them this?

"Oh, tuna. Tuna, tuna, tuna." -Andy Bernard, The Office
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Not quite the same thing, but I'm sure we all heard about the starving children in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc who would be only too happy to eat he food we didn't finish?

SB (wondrers what ploy mothers in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc used to get their kids to eat?) :blink:

Heh. My favorite riff on this old line comes from Allan Sherman (you know, the "My Son The Folksinger" dude responsible for the "Hello Muddah, Hello Fathah" song). He had a spoken word bit on one of his albums called "Hail to Thee, Fat Person" in which he explained he got fat finishing all his food in a vain attempt to save the world from starvation and war. :smile:

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Not quite the same thing, but I'm sure we all heard about the starving children in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc who would be only too happy to eat he food we didn't finish?

SB (wondrers what ploy mothers in Armenia/Ethiopia/China etc used to get their kids to eat?) :blink:

A show of hands: Did anyone really, truly, say to their mother, "Oh yeah? Name one!" when she told them this?

My mother once put her leftovers in an envelope for the starving people in Europe. I think I mentioned this before in a similar thread.

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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