Getting "carded" at 56

[Jensen]

Write a complaint letter. I would. It's good for the management to see that the servers are really not doing their job. I agree that there might have been a good reason for them to card you. But that's no excuse to be an ass. People like that should not be working in the hospitality industryu. or at least they should be trained to know what hospitality means.

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I'd write a complaint letter too, especially since NO ALCOHOL WAS ORDERED. If there were some policy that was being followed, then the waiter should have explained that (and apologetically at that) before taking the wine glass away.

I got IDed at 40 when I was buying beer in a little liquor store in Oklahoma. At first, I thought the woman was kidding me but handed over my passport anyway. When I noticed her lips moving while she did the math, I just about died laughing.

It made my day though. I immediately spun around and announced to the fellow behind me that I'd just been IDed. (His response was "You've got to be kidding!")

Then the old bird IDed my 33 year-old friend.

Then I went outside and phoned the Spouse to let him know what had happened. I might have called a few friends at that point in time or that might have come later. I know I definitely made a mental note to tell my toxic sister all about it, in painful detail and, if possible, multiple times.

[jamiemaw]

The company "team" that I am on, had a "team builder" exercise in downtown Minneapolis last Wednesday.

[EDIT]

I was stunned.  There were people sitting in this restaurant in near-tuxedo quality clothes.  There were tables of people 20 years older than me by appearances.  You're telling me that these people "all" had to show IDs to get served wine?!?

I felt outraged, insulted, and made an instant decision that I would never ever go back to this restaurant.

Whatcha all think about this?

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Order the chicken fricassee.

[Daniel Rogov]

This thread has got to be the funniest thing since monkeys. The last time I was asked for ID was at a restaurant in Manhattan when I was 15 years old. Like all good teen-agers of that day of course I had phoney ID with me and my Scotch sour was serve promptly.

[lcdm]

This is too funny, at first I thought 56 was the name of a restaurant.

The Meadowlands sports area cards everyone also. I guess it's a CYA type of thing, but it is posted so you have that expectation when you are there.

I have to agree that the waiter was very rude and could have gone about it differently.

[jilli42]

I get carded all the time, I am 28 but look much younger. No one ever believes I am 28, I even had one guy tell me my ID was a fake & he was keeping it. I told him he better give my ID back or I was coming across the counter to get it...

As a former server I know that some places require you to card everyone at the table, but that waiter was beyond rude. There were better ways of handling the situation.

I would write a letter to management about the situation.

[SobaAddict70]

A few years ago, I was in San Francisco for vacation and went to a bar in the Castro. I'd never been carded ever up to that point, even when I was going to bars here in New York in the late 1980s, when I was 19. (Anyone remember Uncle Charlie's on Greenwich Ave. in the West Village? I'm dating myself by that.)

As prasantrin says above, c'est la vie when you have good genes and supple Asian skin. (By the way, I just turned 35 and don't look a day over 20. )

Nowadays, when someone does it to me, I take it as the ultimate compliment.

Soba

[disneyfan1313]

It was handled very poorly but it is an issue that you have to deal with in many areas. When I used to work at a grocery store that sold beer and wine we would occasionally be told that there was an inspection coming soon and we were not to sell to ANYONE without ID. I turned away quite a few 80 year old grandmoms wanting to buy bottles of wine who forgot their drivers license - and the manager would back us up. The threat of possibly loosing your liquor license is so great that stores would do whatever it takes to appease the inspectors. Most places in my area (orlando) will card everyone regardless of age as well - I honestly assumed it happened everywhere!

[Jake]

Normally, I can take it as a compliment, or ignore it. However, in one instance it was impossible. I was down in Florida a couple years ago visiting family, about 30 or 31 at the time. Popped into the local Albertsons for a couple things and some cold beer. Headed up to the checkout and was asked for ID. I was not particularly surprised or bothered. However, I live in Canada, more specifically Ontario. I handed over an Ontario drivers licence, which is a laminated card with both picture, address and birthdate clearly displayed. The cashier took one look at it, leaned over the counter, grabbed my arm (she was HUGE) as hard as she could and started yelling for the police! As luck would have it there was an off duty officer who came running over to help. The cashier is still hanging on and I'm ready to belt her (however, I'm not very big) and with her other hand throws my ID at the officer and tells him it's fake and she wants me arrested!!! WTF?!? Said officer calmly looks at the ID, PRIES the moron's hand from my arm and informs her that the ID is not fake, it's Canadian. The manager is now there and apologizing and the cashier is still demanding the officer arrest me for not telling her I was a "furrinur". I'd had it, I was pissed and just wanted to go home. I asked the officer if her grabbing me and leaving a red mark constitued assault, believe me the manager got me out of there right quick! Sometimes you just have to wonder!!

[Susan G]

I agree with slkinsey.........it's possible to card without being a Nazi about it......it's even possible to card and be sweet about it. That waiter was abusing his (momentary) position of authority.

I would have asked the waiter to bring me the manager, and immediately explained the problem with the "service".

[Beanie]

As a business owner who was fined because a clerk "forgot" to card a customer buying cigarettes, I can't fault employees who card everybody -- even those who are obviously older. But rudeness is unforgivable and I also suggest you write to the management. In my case, the State of NY Health Dept. inspectors who enforce tobacco laws conducted a sting operation and sent a "customer" of indeterminable age to buy cigarettes. The fine was $300 (first offense); a second offense can be as high as $2,000 and loss of license if it happens again. I stopped selling cigarettes; just wasn't worth the hassle.

[Della]

Normally, I can take it as a compliment, or ignore it.  However, in one instance it was impossible.  I was down in Florida a couple years ago visiting family, about 30 or 31 at the time.  Popped into the local Albertsons for a couple things and some cold beer.  Headed up to the checkout and was asked for ID.  I was not particularly surprised or bothered.  However, I live in Canada, more specifically Ontario.  I handed over an Ontario drivers licence, which is a laminated card with both picture, address and birthdate clearly displayed.  The cashier took one look at it, leaned over the counter, grabbed my arm (she was HUGE) as hard as she could and started yelling for the police!  As luck would have it there was an off duty officer who came running over to help.  The cashier is still hanging on and I'm ready to belt her (however, I'm not very big) and with her other hand throws my ID at the officer and tells him it's fake and she wants me arrested!!!  WTF?!?  Said officer calmly looks at the ID, PRIES the moron's hand from my arm and informs her that the ID is not fake, it's Canadian.  The manager is now there and apologizing and the cashier is still demanding the officer arrest me for not telling her I was a "furrinur".  I'd had it, I was pissed and just wanted to go home.  I asked the officer if her grabbing me and leaving a red mark constitued assault, believe me the manager got me out of there right quick!  Sometimes you just have to wonder!!

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I LOVE IT!

[jo-mel]

doc -- I would certainly let the manager know what happened. Even if there was wine on the table for everyone, you never ordered any. What would have happened if there was a little kiddie at that table? That waiter would have gone ballistic!

I was carded once when I was in my forties. It was in a liquor store and I was thrilled -------- until the clerk held my ID up to about an inch away from her coke-bottle glasses! If she could barely read my ID I guess she couldn't see my middle-aged face either!

[jmcgrath]

Many, many years ago I celebrated my 21st birthday while on spring break in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Of course I'd had a fake Id for years, but for the first time in my life I was going to be able to use a real Id. You can see this coming...The first bar I went into didn't card me. Boy was I pissed. I walked right out and went looking for a bar that would check my Id.

Jim

[nakji]

Normally, I can take it as a compliment, or ignore it. However, in one instance it was impossible. I was down in Florida a couple years ago visiting family, about 30 or 31 at the time. Popped into the local Albertsons for a couple things and some cold beer. Headed up to the checkout and was asked for ID. I was not particularly surprised or bothered. However, I live in Canada, more specifically Ontario. I handed over an Ontario drivers licence, which is a laminated card with both picture, address and birthdate clearly displayed. The cashier took one look at it, leaned over the counter, grabbed my arm (she was HUGE) as hard as she could and started yelling for the police! As luck would have it there was an off duty officer who came running over to help. The cashier is still hanging on and I'm ready to belt her (however, I'm not very big) and with her other hand throws my ID at the officer and tells him it's fake and she wants me arrested!!! WTF?!? Said officer calmly looks at the ID, PRIES the moron's hand from my arm and informs her that the ID is not fake, it's Canadian. The manager is now there and apologizing and the cashier is still demanding the officer arrest me for not telling her I was a "furrinur". I'd had it, I was pissed and just wanted to go home. I asked the officer if her grabbing me and leaving a red mark constitued assault, believe me the manager got me out of there right quick! Sometimes you just have to wonder!!

Which reminds me of the time I was in a LCBO in Otttawa, and the clerk refused to take my Nova Scotia Driver's License as valid ID, because it wasn't from Ontario. I made her drag her big binder of valid IDs from under the desk and search through until she found not only was Nova Scotia a part of Canada, it was capable of issuing legal identification. Imagine!

mumblemumblemumbleuppercanadiansmumblemumblemumble

[MelissaH]

Which reminds me of the time I was in a LCBO in Otttawa, and the clerk refused to take my Nova Scotia Driver's License as valid ID, because it wasn't from Ontario. I made her drag her big binder of valid IDs from under the desk and search through until she found not only was Nova Scotia a part of Canada, it was capable of issuing legal identification. Imagine!

mumblemumblemumbleuppercanadiansmumblemumblemumble

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And around here, many convenience store-type places have lists posted of their "acceptable" IDs. Passports (US or otherwise) are not on the list, which aggravates and amuses me.

MelissaH

[Grub]

... I asked the officer if her grabbing me and leaving a red mark constitued assault...

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Hopefully, someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand it, that is assault AND battery. And as someone who intensely dislikes lawsuits, I feel that you would have been completely justified in suing the bastards for their last nickel -- provided, of course, that you spend it all on having that crazy cashier exterminated, or at least rendered incapable of reproducing. Man, there's nothing quite as depressing as stupidity.

I think only about 4% of all Americans have passports. Maybe that explains the consternation over encountering a furinur. Good grief.

[bjones9942]

DeltaDoc -

I can only speak to the laws in Washington State. Here you must be 21 to purchase an alcoholic beverage, or to even sit in a cocktail lounge. Looking 36 or not, you MUST have proof of your age upon your person, and should present it when asked. The waiter, waitress or bartender who serves you without asking for your identification is tempting fate. In addition to the fine, we can loose our 'liquor card' (it's a permit that servers/bartenders must have) - effectively barring us from working in the restaurant/bar industry. And yes, all it would take is a liquor inspector having a bad day.

So you were a bit petulant with the server, who was evidently not in a forgiving mood. And to those that say, 'write a letter' - what would you have deltadoc say? "I was being childish and your employee wouldn't chance a fine for himself and the restaurant, potential loss of the establishments liquor license and his having to find a new line of work"? Somehow I doubt it. Certainly, the waiter COULD have made this a more pleasant incident, however it's not his job to pamper uncooperative guests (and I'm sure his tip reflected his choice not to pamper deltadoc in this instance). And believe me, telling someone that you're sure they're OLD isn't going to get you anywhere either!

[deltadoc]

DeltaDoc -

So you were a bit petulant with the server, who was evidently not in a forgiving mood.  And to those that say, 'write a letter' - what would you have deltadoc say?  "I was being childish and your employee wouldn't chance a fine for himself and the restaurant, potential loss of the establishments liquor license and his having to find a new line of work"?  Somehow I doubt it.  Certainly, the waiter COULD have made this a more pleasant incident, however it's not his job to pamper uncooperative guests (and I'm sure his tip reflected his choice not to pamper deltadoc in this instance).  And believe me, telling someone that you're sure they're OLD isn't going to get you anywhere either! 

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Most people can't believe I'm 57 because I look MUCH older.

I was not petulant with the waiter until he badgered me the second time for an ID without ever asking if I intended to order wine.

The meal was paid for by my boss, it cost me nothing. The waiter got a very generous tip.

The response I got from the restaurant when I merely told them exactly what happened without embellishing or exagerating any detail was eloquently written, and I was clearly informed that they do not have a policy of carding people who look older than 36. She informed me that the waiter was clearly out of line. She offered a free meal to me and my wife. I politely declined. I never mentioned on this thread that the "cheese girl" when asked for 2 spoonfuls of cheese merely gave me 1, or that when administering the freshly ground black pepper asked me "Isn't that enough yet?", nor did I mention that in this 5 star Italian restaurant I was asked if I needed a "Pasta spoon", something that should have been assumed rather than questioned.

As a former published food critic, I know what restaurant service should be and what it should not be. This was clearly a case of "should not be". The restaurant agreed. They wanted the name of the server, the cheese girl, etc. which I also declined to provide as I was merely providing them with valuable feedback.

She also confirmed that the "people at the other tables in near-tuxedo quality clothes" who definitely looked as old or older than I were not carded.

And you're right. Telling someone they're old doesn't get you much, and that is exactly what he did when he said "I've got to check everyone's ID"

and then pointed directly at me and said "And I have to check yours too!".

I clearly was the only "old" person at a table of very young people mostly in their 20's.

doc

[chan25]

This is probably not 100% related, but I got carded for buying shaoxing rice wine at a 99 Ranch market a few years back.

After I got over my initial disbelief I duly produced my ID and still laugh about it today.

Hasn't happened since though.

[Sugarella]

Which reminds me of the time I was in a LCBO in Otttawa, and the clerk refused to take my Nova Scotia Driver's License as valid ID, because it wasn't from Ontario. I made her drag her big binder of valid IDs from under the desk and search through until she found not only was Nova Scotia a part of Canada, it was capable of issuing legal identification. Imagine!

mumblemumblemumbleuppercanadiansmumblemumblemumble

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Same thing happened to me buying smokes in Ontario using my BC license. The teenage girl still in her Cathoilic school uniform clearly not old enough to be selling cigarettes, informed me a BC license was not valid in Ontario and threw it in my face. Back then I didn't have the gumption to fly across the counter and pummel her.....these days I just might.

Food related, several years back I worked at an LCBO Vintages over Christmas, and of course had to card everyone as I saw fit. I asked one guy because I couldn't quite tell if he was 19....well, he was 46. Boy did I ever feel like an ass.

[doc slaughter]

If you go to Boston and go to any sporting event you can't get a drink without showing ID and it doesn't matter if your 65 yo. It's a city ordinance at all outdoor bars too, the server can get in trouble just for not asking.