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"I want a Krispy donut!"


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Saturday is Shopping Day in the Fresser household, so Mama Fresser and I were schlepping down the grocery aisles when a new display caught Mama Fresser's eye: a Krispy Kreme donut display.

Now we're not big sweet-eaters, but Mum couldn't resist plucking a small package of bite-sized donuts to nosh on later. When that moment arrived, Mama announced, "I want a Krispy donut!"

"Mama, it's not a Krispy donut--it's a Krispy Kreme donut!"

"That doesn't make any sense," Mama Fresser replied. "How could Kreme be crispy? A Krispy donut sounds better." Such inscrutable logic is the hallmark of any argument with Mama Fresser.

I've heard other creative mispronunciations of company names as well. One girlfriend's father used to call a popular coffee-and-pastry shop Dunkie Donuts.

There are bound to be others out there...

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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My sweet little sister Julie has a couple of excuses because she's a)Downs b)almost deaf. But her malapropism for Chinese Food is Shiny Boots, and that's gone into the family lexicon.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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My dear departed Aunt Hazel called Riunite wine "reunite."

Condominiums were "condo-minimums."

Ready for this? Back in the late 70's, we entered the cosmetics section of a department store, so that Hazel could buy a certain shade of lipstick made by a company called Etherea . I just about died when she approached a clerk and said, "Where's your urethera?????" :shock::biggrin:

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I was a nanny in another lifetime, and looked after a little boy, who, at the age of two would demand to be taken on the bus to get some Fuck Me Fried Chicken....

He did love his KFC, that little monster :smile:

My mother's name for basmati is 'badnasty'. She honestly thinks that is what is says on the bag. She's starting to drift on me, I think.

Don't try to win over the haters. You're not the jackass whisperer."

Scott Stratten

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G. Gordon Liddy pointed out on his radio show once that there is no such thing as "crispy." The word "crisp" is and always has been sufficient.

(I disagree with a lot of the man's politics, but he's a fascinating and intelligent talk-show-host)

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I have to side with the mater on this one. At risk of sounding like Seinfeld...what's up with Krisy Kreme donuts? They're not krispy [sic] they're not kremey [sic]?

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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Long story. I once reviewed a suburban Chinese restaurant owned a woman who spent most of her time in Chinatown playing mah-jongg while her brother ran the place. After the exposure of the review, business picked up and the sister kicked her brother out, and he went back to Taiwan to raise money to open his own place. With the brother gone, quality declined and business fell off. At that point, the sister phoned me.

Now people frequently confused editorial and advertising, but this woman, English being her second language, gave it a new twist, declaring: "I want to take out an appetizer." As with the aforementioned Shiny Boots, this has become a part of my wife's and my lexicon. Reversing it, we refer to appetizers as advertisements, sometimes drawing funny looks, sometimes having to explain to fellow diners.

"Last week Uncle Vinnie came over from Sicily and we took him to the Olive Garden. The next day the family car exploded."

--Nick DePaolo

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We owe two of our family mis-props to the children:

DS#1, at two: Eye-papple (you know, that Del Monte yellow thing)

One of the kids, all eventually: Sour Crap (with weenies!!)

One from an elderly neighbor, whose daughter had cooked them a strange green vegetable: Ass-pargus

Two we don't use, but I cringe everytime a relative says them:

Spinnish and Lettish. She has a MASTER'S in Education, people!!

And "Food Fair" is one of our local chains down South.

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Surely y'all remember the frozen fudge popsicles known as "Fudgesicles."

Well, in the West Rogers Park section of Chicago, home to such luminaries as Rabbi Ribeye and Baby Fresser, these frozen treats were known as "Fudgicles." This dialect seems to have migrated north, for Milwaukee residents Laverne & Shirley often quarreled over how to pronounce the treat's name.

Laverne called it a "fudgicle." She was right.

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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It migrated all the way to the Northeast where we also called them Fudgicles. Or maybe it happened in several places independently.

"Last week Uncle Vinnie came over from Sicily and we took him to the Olive Garden. The next day the family car exploded."

--Nick DePaolo

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surely you are not trying to posit that Fresser didn't coin the term...that he isn't a leader among men...and eaters?

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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Heee, Fresser, my Cape Cod born-and-raised Auntie Mary is the original Mrs. Malaprop.  My favorite of hers went something like this:

"I only shop at the Co-Op now, because I read a book that said you should only buy orgasmic food."

:blink:  :blink:  :laugh:  :laugh:

weeee-haaaa..... I'll have what she's having! :wink:

"Fat is money." (Per a cracklings maker shown on Dirty Jobs.)
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