"No, really, you shouldn't have!"

Mooshmouse · December 30, 2005

'Fess up. I can't be the only victim of this. Birthdays, anniversaries, Hanukkah, Christmas, whenever. You open up a beautiful package only to find... absolutely useless, ugly crap that's been camouflaged by lovely gift wrap! Tasteless swill disguised as wine, hideous dinner plates, cookbooks from which you'd never cook a dish.

Case in point: Christmas morning. Sitting around opening presents when, to our abject horror, we discover that we're the proud recipients of these babies.

:blink:

Tell me. What exactly am I supposed to do with these? Can't re-gift them in good conscience. Certainly can't display them with the rest of our glassware. And what do we say when our friends come back from vacation and ask us how we like the new wine glasses? :hmmm:

So, come on. Share your stories of gift-opening nightmares from special occasions past. Consider it part of the cathartic healing process in your recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

LoveToEatATL · December 30, 2005

'Fess up. I can't be the only victim of this. Birthdays, anniversaries, Hanukkah, Christmas, whenever. You open up a beautiful package only to find... absolutely useless, ugly crap that's been camouflaged by lovely gift wrap! Tasteless swill disguised as wine, hideous dinner plates, cookbooks from which you'd never cook a dish.
Case in point: Christmas morning. Sitting around opening presents when, to our abject horror, we discover that we're the proud recipients of these babies.

Tell me. What exactly am I supposed to do with these? Can't re-gift them in good conscience. Certainly can't display them with the rest of our glassware. And what do we say when our friends come back from vacation and ask us how we like the new wine glasses?
So, come on. Share your stories of gift-opening nightmares from special occasions past. Consider it part of the cathartic healing process in your recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
←

Oh, my! Could you serve some grain alcohol drink in them? Maybe no one would notice! :biggrin:

Have you ever gotten a bottle of the "cutesy" Christmas wine? Dear God, people - who thinks that's a good gift?

wattacetti · December 30, 2005

Tell me. What exactly am I supposed to do with these?
←

Um, if I'm not mistaken, don't you have a child? I suggest that you have a session evaluating one of these babies (click here).

As for gifts where the thought didn't quite count, we still have that bottle of Manischewicz that was brought over for Chinese New Year. :huh:

Rachel Perlow · December 30, 2005

Is there no way to return them? You could always tell said friend that they got broken. The concern there is they could decide to replace them! If you do return them, I suggest you just be honest and say they didn't fit with your existing glassware and you really needed a new ___ (whatever you exchange them for). I'm sure my nephews are going to be disappointed in the (mostly) books they're getting for hanukkah. If I get any complaints, I'll suggest next year they make a wishlist on Amazon!

My mother got us the perfect gift. A gift card to Fortunoffs, where we chose a mandoline that we've been longing for, and an electric pepper grinder that really seems to work!

Badiane · December 30, 2005

Oh Lord, Moosh...those are ghastly. I would hide them in a closet and only bring them out when those particular folks come to call. Serve strong margaritas in them and pretend you are in a cheap dive in Mexico. Oy. I dont' know...is there enough tequila to blur that vision :smile:

I too have been a victim.

This Christmas alone I recieved a splendid boxed set of Jovan Musk perfume <gack> :wacko: Then there is the 5 pound bar of 'bitter chocolate flavoured' candy that I got (we know how you like good chocolate, dear). And the 'jellies of the world' basket (we know how you like to make jam, dear). And the 'brie in a can' (we know how you like the fancy cheese, dear) and the bottles of Ubrew Ice Wine (we made a whole batch just for you guys, we know how you like the fancy wine). I don't even want to know what that might taste like. I don't know what kind of accident will wipe it out, but if anyone has any ideas....

Of course there is the yearly parade of clothing that is either inappropriately styled from someone such as myself (sleeves, people, I want sleeves) or nice but freakishly huge - I know I'm a big girl, but sister dear, no one in this family is a size XXXXXXL. I kid you not. I don't even have a hanger big enough.

And last but not least, all the sugar coated treats, the 10 boxes of Pocky, the box of chinese rolled cookies, the chocolates and all the rest of the things people gave me all the while knowing full well I am diabetic and can't eat that stuff.

suzilightning · December 30, 2005

i have been the unfortunate recipient of several horrible items including:

http://www.slatonbakery.com/images/cj/IMG_1964.jpg

cat with goldfish bowl and my mother-in-law informed me it wasn't cheap - 20.00 at a yard sale. johnnybird said this was my best bit of acting ever...

this year - a bottle of Andre from father-in-law and mother-in-law #3. :shock:

**andiesenji** · December 30, 2005

'Fess up. I can't be the only victim of this. Birthdays, anniversaries, Hanukkah, Christmas, whenever. You open up a beautiful package only to find... absolutely useless, ugly crap that's been camouflaged by lovely gift wrap! Tasteless swill disguised as wine, hideous dinner plates, cookbooks from which you'd never cook a dish.
Case in point: Christmas morning. Sitting around opening presents when, to our abject horror, we discover that we're the proud recipients of these babies.

Tell me. What exactly am I supposed to do with these? Can't re-gift them in good conscience. Certainly can't display them with the rest of our glassware. And what do we say when our friends come back from vacation and ask us how we like the new wine glasses?
So, come on. Share your stories of gift-opening nightmares from special occasions past. Consider it part of the cathartic healing process in your recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
←

Pack them away in storage and in a few years offer them on ebay. Some of the most gawdawful stuff ever produced in the 50s, 60s and early 70s, sells for unimaginable amounts.

like these!

that are called "depression" glass but were made in the 50s and depression glass was made in the 30s.

Edited December 30, 2005 by andiesenji (log)

Tess · December 30, 2005

I think those glasses are cute! Seriously.

We do have relatives who specialize in sending foods they ought to know people can't eat. If you're a vegetarian you get a big honking ham. Lactose-intolerant? A cheese platter. They usually come on time so that you can contribute them to a potluck or a food bank or something.

Bond Girl · December 30, 2005

I feel your pain. If misery loves company then can I tell you about the spoiled dungeoness crabs that were given to me recently?

Fresser · December 30, 2005

Tell me. What exactly am I supposed to do with these?
←

Let Fresser come to the rescue!

Since the glasses have colored, ah, stems (?), make Jello parfaits by filling the glasses with alternating flavors of Jello. Just chill between layers!

And don't forget the dollop of Cool Whip on top!

I bet Rachel Ray never thought of this. :raz:

Abra · December 30, 2005

I'm more or less with Fresser, although I was thinking that they wouldn't look half bad filled with fruit salad, or watermelon chunks, or something of that sort. You could use them once for that purpose, and invite the givers.

Or even do them filled with popcorn, or some little snack item, cereal and nut mix, something you can hoard in your own cute little glass. To me it looks like they weren't actually trying to be mean to you!

Daniel · December 30, 2005

I think thats a perfect re-gifter...

Mooshmouse · December 30, 2005

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

People, you have not let me down!!! I'm laughing so hard that I've got tears in my eyes!!!

Oh, my! Could you serve some grain alcohol drink in them? Maybe no one would notice!
←

Perfect! Vessels for yukkaflux/yuccaflux/however it's spelled.

Um, if I'm not mistaken, don't you have a child? I suggest that you have a session evaluating one of these babies (click here).
As for gifts where the thought didn't quite count, we still have that bottle of Manischewicz that was brought over for Chinese New Year.
←

Bombs away! Hmmm... Manischewicz... doesn't that taste especially good when paired with long-life noodles? :hmmm:

Is there no way to return them? You could always tell said friend that they got broken. The concern there is they could decide to replace them! If you do return them, I suggest you just be honest and say they didn't fit with your existing glassware and you really needed a new ___ (whatever you exchange them for).
←

Unfortunately, no. A claim of breakage might be the best way to go in this situation. We both have kids, so that's a valid excuse. But breaking all four simultaneously might require a pretty tall tale. :laugh: I don't have the courage to tell them I don't like the glasses; however, Ian might, especially after a few glasses of scotch! :wink: The irony is that these friends of ours have relatively good taste in wine. Sadly, they don't seem to have the same taste in glassware.

Oh Lord, Moosh...those are ghastly. I would hide them in a closet and only bring them out when those particular folks come to call. Serve strong margaritas in them and pretend you are in a cheap dive in Mexico. Oy. I dont' know...is there enough tequila to blur that vision
I too have been a victim.
This Christmas alone I recieved a splendid boxed set of Jovan Musk perfume <gack> Then there is the 5 pound bar of 'bitter chocolate flavoured' candy that I got (we know how you like good chocolate, dear). And the 'jellies of the world' basket (we know how you like to make jam, dear). And the 'brie in a can' (we know how you like the fancy cheese, dear) and the bottles of Ubrew Ice Wine (we made a whole batch just for you guys, we know how you like the fancy wine). I don't even want to know what that might taste like. I don't know what kind of accident will wipe it out, but if anyone has any ideas....
←

Ghastly. That's a great word for them. I laughed pretty darn hard when I read about your Jovan Musk perfume... I thought that fragrance (and I use that word loosely) died a slow and painful death in the seventies. But 'brie in a can' and 'UBrew Ice Wine'?! Seriously? :blink:

i have been the unfortunate recipient of several horrible items including:
http://www.slatonbakery.com/images/cj/IMG_1964.jpg
cat with goldfish bowl and my mother-in-law informed me it wasn't cheap - 20.00 at a yard sale. johnnybird said this was my best bit of acting ever...
←

A truly extraordinary piece. Words fail me. Perhaps because a strong wave of nausea has overtaken my ability to speak. :blink: You're a strong, strong woman...

Pack them away in storage and in a few years offer them on ebay. Some of the most gawdawful stuff ever produced in the 50s, 60s and early 70s, sells for unimaginable amounts.
like these!
that are called "depression" glass but were made in the 50s and depression glass was made in the 30s.
←

Depression glass is a rather appropriate reference to my particular set of glasses... I'm rather depressed with the knowledge that I'm forced to have them in my house!

We do have relatives who specialize in sending foods they ought to know people can't eat. If you're a vegetarian you get a big honking ham. Lactose-intolerant? A cheese platter. They usually come on time so that you can contribute them to a potluck or a food bank or something.
←

That's terrific. Nothing more that I want for Christmas than a good old case of anaphylactic shock. Do they at least give out EpiPens as stocking stuffers?

I feel your pain. If misery loves company then can I tell you about the spoiled dungeoness crabs that were given to me recently?
←

:shock: Food crime against humanity. What a horrible waste!

Let Fresser come to the rescue!
Since the glasses have colored, ah, stems (?), make Jello parfaits by filling the glasses with alternating flavors of Jello. Just chill between layers!
And don't forget the dollop of Cool Whip on top!
I bet Rachel Ray never thought of this.
←

Sadly, Fresser, that was one of the first uses that popped into my head: dessert glasses for some sort of gelatinous or ice-cream creation... for the kids. Maybe I could just package them up and ship them directly to Rachel Ray. They'd be a nice match for the colour scheme of her kitchen!

Mooshmouse · December 30, 2005

I'm more or less with Fresser, although I was thinking that they wouldn't look half bad filled with fruit salad, or watermelon chunks, or something of that sort. You could use them once for that purpose, and invite the givers... To me it looks like they weren't actually trying to be mean to you!
←

You're bang-on with that last statement. They're actually rather good friends of ours. Maybe we could use them once. And once only. Then I'd relegate them to the kids for their "special" glasses.

I think thats a perfect re-gifter...
←

Really, Daniel, would your conscience let you re-gift that guilt-free?! :huh: :raz:

Daniel · December 30, 2005

Thats like one of those obligatory Silent Santa, your my second cousin, this is your neighbors boyfriend, ooops I forgot about you, type of re-gifts. Actually!!! How well did you know the person that gave you this???? :biggrin: Was this a cousin?

Edited December 30, 2005 by Daniel (log)

handmc · December 30, 2005

why you donate them to your local church bazzar so they can sell them next year. You get the deduction!

SuzySushi · December 30, 2005

I am sitting here chuckling. Those glasses aren't half as bad as a wedding gift we received: an absolutely useless LARGE ice bucket/Champagne cooler from a very expensive Italian designer firm, in a box from a very expensive NYC boutique. Trouble is, it looked like an upside-down pleated lampshade. In...... silver-colored...... plastic.

I tried returning it to the store, where they snootily informed me that they no longer carried the particular item in question.

It had obviously been re-gifted.

We didn't know anybody else who deserved (ahem) such a ghastly gift.

It eventually went to the Salvation Army.

*Deborah* · December 30, 2005

Moosh, I opened this thread thinking, "OH NO SHE HATED THOSE DISHES!" and was incredibly relieved to see someone else had worse gift taste than I :wink:

(And no, I don't really think you'd have done this thread to an eGulleter)

I'm with Fresser! Jell-O. May I specify, though, multi-coloured Jell-O Shooters :hmmm: :biggrin:

goldie · December 30, 2005

Let Fresser come to the rescue!

Since the glasses have colored, ah, stems (?), make Jello parfaits by filling the glasses with alternating flavors of Jello. Just chill between layers!

And don't forget the dollop of Cool Whip on top!

I bet Rachel Ray never thought of this. :raz:

←

Edited December 30, 2005 by goldie (log)

peppyre · December 30, 2005

I have a couple of my own that will be added to this thread in due time. I have to say though, after actually handling said glasses, they are truly horrific. Suprisingly heavy and I think even the little one would have a hard time breaking them.

The Moosh family needs to start the wonderful tradition of having a Foister game on Christmas Day, that way, all the crap that you received the year before gets handed off to someone else in your family. We've had this really tacky and cheap Menorah plate running through for 3 years now. It's back in my hands and next year it's getting placed in a lovely shadow box. This year I was lucky enough to receive a nice purse size flask, with shot glasses. Only downside, it will only hold a single glass of wine.

mizducky · December 30, 2005

What I want to know is: what the heck are those white horizontal bands around the bowls of the glasses? Measuring marks? Say, you pour up to the top line when folks first arrive at the party, but only to the lowest line once they get really soused?

I realize that demanding some kind of sensible explanation out of such nonsensical-looking glassware is an exercise in futility. But this is far from the first time my brain has sought in vain for rationality in an irrational world. :laugh:

Are the stem-thingies by any chance hollow? If they are, maybe you could use the darn things as finials on some really "artistic" fence posts. :wacko:

I know I must have received some inappropriate cooking-related gifts over the years, but for whatever reason I can't recall them. The inappropriate clothing gifts, however, shall live forever in infamy in my mind. ("Oh my god ... I hope she doesn't expect me to wear this out in public, where people can actually see me!!! Maybe I can spill something on myself at dinner!") :laugh:

Mooshmouse · December 30, 2005

How well did you know the person that gave you this???? Was this a cousin?
←

Not even relatives... friends that we see regularly. Apparently, they don't know us nearly well enough. :wacko: But, now that our kitchen display shelves are fully stocked with our real glassware, the evidence against using these beauties should speakly loudly enough on its own the next time that they visit.

why you donate them to your local church bazzar so they can sell them next year. You get the deduction!
←

It's for this very reason that I always thought they should be called church "bizarres" instead! :wink:

I am sitting here chuckling. Those glasses aren't half as bad as a wedding gift we received: an absolutely useless LARGE ice bucket/Champagne cooler from a very expensive Italian designer firm, in a box from a very expensive NYC boutique. Trouble is, it looked like an upside-down pleated lampshade. In...... silver-colored...... plastic.
←

:laugh:

Oh, how I wish you had taken a photo of said ice bucket. Just think of the pure comedic value it would have today! I suppose you could have used it as a trash can... in your storage shed where you'd be sure that no one else would see it.

Mooshmouse · December 30, 2005

Moosh, I opened this thread thinking, "OH NO SHE HATED THOSE DISHES!" and was incredibly relieved to see someone else had worse gift taste than I ...
I'm with Fresser! Jell-O. May I specify, though, multi-coloured Jell-O Shooters
←

No way! Didn't you read the X'mas loot thread where I said "cute" ice blue sushi dishes? :biggrin:

Gotta say, though, those would be some damn big Jell-O shooters. They'd make for one killer hangover.

I have a couple of my own that will be added to this thread in due time. I have to say though, after actually handling said glasses, they are truly horrific. Suprisingly heavy and I think even the little one would have a hard time breaking them... This year I was lucky enough to receive a nice purse size flask, with shot glasses. Only downside, it will only hold a single glass of wine.
←

Three comments. (1) She's right. Her gifts are absolutely horrendous. (2) Obscenely weighty for what they are. Not just crap, but a heavy piece of crap. (3) A single glass of wine? Not a hope. For you, that'd last for 3 minutes. Maybe. :wink:

What I want to know is: what the heck are those white horizontal bands around the bowls of the glasses? Measuring marks? Say, you pour up to the top line when folks first arrive at the party, but only to the lowest line once they get really soused?...
Are the stem-thingies by any chance hollow? If they are, maybe you could use the darn things as finials on some really "artistic" fence posts. ...
("Oh my god ... I hope she doesn't expect me to wear this out in public, where people can actually see me!!! Maybe I can spill something on myself at dinner!")
←

Measuring marks yes... pour lines that are directly proportionate to each guest's behavior and level of drunkenness at a party. :rolleyes:

Ah, I could only wish that the stem-thingies were hollow. Actually, they're more like trunk-thingies because they're so damn heavy. If they were hollow, I could more easily justify a breakage excuse ("Oh darn, they all just happened to tip over without warning...").

As for bad clothing gifts? That's when you spill something on yourself before you leave the house so that you're forced to change before going out. And the spilled substance should be something that leaves horrible stains: beet juice and blueberry puree are two things that immediately leap to mind. :wink:

chezcherie · December 30, 2005

i'm just guessing that those giftie-glasses CAN'T be broken...

**andiesenji** · December 30, 2005

I just had a thought, after looking at the photo again. Turn them upside-down and stick candles in the hollow bases of the stems.

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