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BDuncan

What's your funniest/worst/most embarrassing restaurant experience?

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setting: a nice french restaurant with my aunt

dish: seared foie gras

problem: she looks at it and exclaims that she likes all her meats well-done.

ahhhhh

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I once walked from the ladies room to our table in a crowded seafood restaurant with my skirt tucked up inside the waistband of my pantyhose. giving everybody along the way a very good view of my butt.

That was 10 years ago, and I still have not lived it down.


I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

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I once walked from the ladies room to our table in a crowded seafood restaurant with my skirt tucked up inside the waistband of my pantyhose. giving everybody along the way a very good view of my butt.

That was 10 years ago, and I still have not lived it down.

DING DING DING --- WE HAVE A WINNA!!

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[Thank goodness I have no spewy-spilly type of stories to tell, but here goes:

I like wine. I am not in the economic bracket that affords long studies of wine, or sampling of expensive vintages. But I try my best to learn and to taste what I can when I can afford it.

Okay, so keep in mind I'm a vino newbie.

Two different times at restaurants with my ex, I ordered a cabernet sauvignon. Because I like white wine, and I figured it was just like a sauvignon blanc. Cuz.....well.....sauvignon!

Right.

Boy did I feel like a dork when I got a glass of red and said "but I ordered a white"

Ex was no wine-expert either, but he did like to feel superior.

Wheeee. :wacko:

~Radio7

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I once walked from the ladies room to our table in a crowded seafood restaurant with my skirt tucked up inside the waistband of my pantyhose. giving everybody along the way a very good view of my butt.

That was 10 years ago, and I still have not lived it down.

Ouch. :) I had a similar experience when I was about 10 years old, but didn't post it because it didn't happen at a restaurant but rather at (wince) Boy Scout camp. Which is probably worse in the short term. Luckily camp comes to an end... I went to the bathroom - it was the pitfall type - and when I got all the way back up to where our troop was beforesomeone pointed out that there was a 2+ foot length of toilet paper emerging from the back of my pants, hanging down like a tail. Luckily it was the last piece and it was clean.... :shock:


"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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The only real ones I ve had is with my mother pissing and moaning and being a royal pain in the ass at her husbands restaurant.

It's really embarassing .... especially since there is nothing to piss, moan or complain about!

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I've got a funny one...

I forget the occasion, but my family was out to celebrate something at a rather upscale restaurant. My brother and I were in our early 20's, sis was in her teens. Now, I have no idea why, but on this particular occasion my brother decided to put on airs. Who in the heck was he trying to impress, anyway???- we all sure as hell knew who he was. So the waiter gets done reciting the specials and asks if there are any questions or are we ready to order. Brother pipes up that he has a question and proceeds to ask what 'year' the Chateaubriand was. Needless to say laughter and wisecracks were showered upon him immediately (the funniest part to me was that out of all of us he is the only one who really doesn't like wine, yet there he was trying to act the part of an expert).

Thankfully he is a rather jovial sort and his embarassment lasted all of about a second (he may have even said something along the lines of "well, if it is this year then that's what I'll have"). My father, on the other hand, seemed too mortified to fully enjoy the moment.


Edited by TongoRad (log)

aka Michael

Chi mangia bene, vive bene!

"...And bring us the finest food you've got, stuffed with the second finest."

"Excellent, sir. Lobster stuffed with tacos."

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My most embarrassing restaurant moment was on a blind date. My best friend set me up with her boyfriend's roommate, a UCLA law student. He must be intellegent and a hard worker, right?

Well, the second we showed up at his door it was immediately obvious that he had been partying for a while already. This is where I should have gone home. Instead, we all squeezed into her boyfriend's miniature sports car and off to the restaurant. Now it wasn't a fancy place, more of a touristy seafood restaurant in one of those marina malls overlooking the harbor, but still...

First, as we walk in, he charges through the door, releasing it just in time for it to swing shut and hit me squarely in the face. Next, he tries to order more drinks, repeatedly and loudly. He's only 20 and the waitress is having none of it, but he won't let it go. More follows with rude comments about fish, hitting on the same (by now, very annoyed) waitress, and general juvenile behavior; I just wanted to crawl under the table. Finally, the check comes and he informs us that he doesn't have any money and goes to the bathroom. Presumably to vomit. My friend and I had to dig through the bottoms of our purses and even went out to the car to scrounge through the ashtrays for extra money to cover the check. (Even her boyfriend didn't have any money!! :shock: ) I was so afraid I was going to have to call my mom to come pay our bill!! We managed to just cover it, but I know we left a really shoddy tip for the poor abused waitress. I was so embarrassed, I don't think I ever even set foot in that mall again. Friend apologized profusely afterwards. Some things are unforgiveable. :angry:


Julie Layne

"...a good little eater."

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I cringe to even remember this - it was over 10 years ago, afterall.

I was hosting a dinner for two business contacts (both male) at a very nice Kansas City restaurant... Plaza III for those of you who know KC. We were going for an early dinner and left straight from the office... turns out this was a blessing because instead of carrying a tiny little purse, I'd shoved my wallet into my briefcase and carried it instead - it was a business dinner, after all.

I was wearing a dress (no waist band - I think they called it a "slip" dress) and a jacket. For some stupid reason, I didn't wear a full slip underneath, but a half-slip. (Sorry guys, this may seem like Greek to you, ask your wives for explanations...)

I had recently lost weight, and the slip was probably past it's prime. Following the hostess through the restaurant, me in front, natch, I got this weird sensation under my dress. You guessed, the slip had slipped past my hips and became a puddle around my ankles! I didn't think I could hoist it back in place without being a bigger spectacle - but EVERYONE could see what had happened, including my clients. I couldn't walk with the damned thing encircling my ankles.... so I quickly stepped out of it, scooped it up and stuffed into my briefcase as with as much "dignity" as possible.

I know I was six shades of red, and mumbled something about "how embarrasing!". I was so shook up, I know I was totally off my game all night.

The men were polite enough to ignore the incident, but can only imagine their laughter after I dropped them off at their hotel that night.

I used to still run into these guys at conventions and meetings.... I can only imagine how many collegues have been treated to that story!

:laugh:


Edited by eJulia (log)

"Anybody can make you enjoy the first bite of a dish, but only a real chef can make you enjoy the last.”

Francois Minot

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I couldn't walk with the damned thing encircling my ankles.... so I quickly stepped out of it, scooped it up and stuffed into my briefcase as with as much "dignity" as possible. 

You acknowledged it was yours!?! :shock::laugh:

When I was little I saw a lady walking down the sidewalk lose her panties that way.... she just stepped right out of them and continued along as if nothing had happened. :laugh:

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30 or so years ago, Denver, Colorado.

We had just moved there from New London, Connectictut.

So, one end of the US to the other, as far as food is concerned.

My Mom ordered Rocky Mountain Oysters.

My Dad, very genteel, said, "Honey, you don't want to order those."

Well, he never told us what we could or couldn't order. So she said, "that's what I want",

thinking they were the Rocky Mountain version of East Coast Oysters.

My Dad insisted that she not order this!

The waitress looked on, amused. She said she'd be right back.

My Dad then leaned over and whispered in my Mom's ear what it was.

I knew, but as a teen girl, my Dad would never have said that sort of thing out loud.

When the waitress came back, Mom ordered Buffalo or something.


Philly Francophiles

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OK, my fave so far had been the little boy with the tingling pee pee. I think we have a child with a refined palate. :biggrin: I've got to try this drink.

Here's my contribution:

I brought a first date to a great BBQ joint, Redbones, in Somerville, MA a few years back and was mortified by his behavior. Keep in mind this was a first date. We hadn't spent more than a few hours together and after polishing off our ribs he picked up his hot BBQ sauce in the tiny paper cups and drank it.

I'm talking tipping the head way back to get every drop. OK, that was weird, but maybe I could roll with it....until he picked up my little paper cup and drank my hot sauce. :wacko: So odd, even if he had asked "can I have that?". I caught a look from a waitress and had that little female eye contact :shock: moment where it was clear this date was dead.

-Grace


Grace Piper, host of Fearless Cooking

www.fearlesscooking.tv

My eGullet Blog: What I ate for one week Nov. 2010

Subscribe to my 5 minute video podcast through iTunes, just search for Fearless Cooking

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from the too much info files...

i was on a first date with a very lovely young lady

who i'd been dying to go out with.

we go out to dinner at a nice place here in Reston, VA.

the waitress just happens to be someone i had

one night tryst with that i never got around to calling back.

said waitress is giving me the hairy eyeball throughout the meal.

stiff lips and uncomfortable pauses abound.

my date asks me 'do you know her or something'?

me:

'no i don't think so'.

i'm waiting through the whole meal for the waitress to say something.

i'm sweating live ammunition.

what is more unnerving is the ultra polite, top shelf service.

all the while i'm wondering if it is OK to eat my food.

no scent of bitter almonds, so i'm figuring its going to be cool.

i'm trying to get the hell out of there suggesting we go somewhere else for dessert.

my date tells me, we should just hang here, as she is having a great time.

dessert is served. waitress still says nothing.

time for the check.

i know it is coming.

waitress says,

'you two are such a cute couple, are you celebrating something special'?

i feel the blood drain from my tongue, through the pit of my bowels,

down to my feet. this is not good.

my date says...

'this is our first date'.

a big grin begins to spread across the waitress' face.

it was like watching a tsunami form and break.

waitress says:

'you will be lucky if he calls you back. you two have a great night.

great to hear from you again akebono'.

me:

sheepish grin.

karma, ain't it a bitch.


Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself.

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This happened a number of years ago.

My (now ex-)husband and I were invited to dinner with two other couples at a popular restaurant in NYC called Maxwell's Plum. For an appetizer, on the host's recommendation, we all ordered the artichoke with vinaigrette sauce. Conversation was very animated, and I was not really paying attention, but my husband excused himself to go to the men's room. While he was gone, I noticed that his plate was practically empty - no scraped leaves on the dish, no fuzzy choke...

At that moment, I knew. When I asked him about it later, he confirmed my suspicions: he had attempted to swallow as much as he could of the fibrous part of the leaves (ouch!) and had almost choked on the choke. He had never eaten an artichoke before and, after that experience, I am sure he never ate one again.

Ellen

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Does it count if I embarrassed someone else?

I was at a Halloween party years ago at a downtown Chicago restaurant. Everyone at our party was in costume, and I was dressed up as a French maid, much to the amusement of all the women present.

After downing several diet Cokes, I used the restroom--the mens restroom. While I was washing up, a youngish guy walked into the restroom, saw me and shrieked. "AAAUUGHH!!" Then he bolted out of the restroom so quickly he forgot to open the door first.

So I sauntered back to his group's table to reassure him he wasn't in the ladies room instead. "Hey, man," I said in my best basso profundo. "There's plenty of room in there."

The poor guy had curled into a little ball and was cowering in fear, bleating, "No! Please nooooo!!!!" while his whole table convulsed with laughter.

The poor chap--he'll never use a restaurant mens room again.


There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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I hate to admit this but way back when, when I was first dating my wife, we went into a Red Lobster. As the salads came I dug in and somehow flipped a lettuce leaf, covered in bright orange dressing, onto the lap of a nearby diner. :shock:

As if this wasn't bad enough, this was at the time when "Disco was king" and white pants were everywhere. Fortunately for me he didn't notice but I believe we ate rather quickly and left before the discovery.

I always feel guilty when I think back on this but my wife and always have a good laugh at the same time :rolleyes:

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I hate to admit this but way back when, when I was first dating my wife, we went into a Red Lobster.

you went to Red Lobster??

Man, that IS embarassing.

:wink:


Jeff Meeker, aka "jsmeeker"
jmeeker@eGullet.org

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I hate to admit this but way back when, when I was first dating my wife, we went into a Red Lobster.

you went to Red Lobster??

Man, that IS embarassing.

:wink:

Hey! I was poor and didn't know any better. I'm happy to say my tastes have MUCH improved since then. (Plus, I wasn't the one in the white suit ;) )

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I hate to admit this but way back when, when I was first dating my wife, we went into a Red Lobster.

Red Lobster? That's the IHOP of seafood!! :raz:


There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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Red Lobster?  That's the IHOP of seafood!!  :raz:

Yes, but back in the 70s, they and Ponderosa were big. And if you're stuck on Route 17 in Paramus, they're one of the few choices available. :sad:

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Red Lobster?  That's the IHOP of seafood!!   :raz:

Yes, but back in the 70s, they and Ponderosa were big. And if you're stuck on Route 17 in Paramus, they're one of the few choices available. :sad:

OMG, Ponderosa! I had forgotten about them! In fact, that is my embarrassing restaurant experience. I actually worked for one of them for about 2 weeks while I was in high school. (They wouldn't give me homecoming night off, so I got my dad to call and quit for me - I am still a coward). Anyway, I was walking through a swinging door from the back carrying a huge tray full of single serving glass cups of pudding and jello w/ little dabs of whipping topping on them. I was carrying it on my hip and got wedged in the door. The door was the one behind the cash register where I was in sight of the forty-freakin-kabillion people in line waiting to pay. The tray tilted slightly and the little dishes started slowly, one-by-one sliding down the incline and crashing to the floor. I couldn't move without dropping the entire tray and all of my co-workers just stood looking at me in horror. I was the shy, easily intimidated, fat girl - and I wanted to die right there. Then, of course, the scumbag nazi assistant manager made me bend my fat ass in my tight little rayon skirt over in full view of everyone and clean the whole mess up. :laugh:NOW, I can laugh!

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A few weeks ago, my boss's boss was in town, and they invited me out to dinner with them and few others at my boss's level. So I'm the extreme low (wo)man on the totem poll at dinner, in fact the only one who is still hourly rather than salaried. That didn't bother me, but it does highlight why what happened was so akward.

As we're eating our appetizers, I waitress (not ours) tries to scoot behind me with a full tray of water glasses, and somehow trips and dumps 6+ glasses of water all over me! I looked like I had just gone swimming. She frantically apologizes and runs off to get towels, so that when our waitress comes back by, she finds me mopping my sodden self with the napkins of everyone at the table. I was mortified, not so much at what had happened, but because I was now the center of attention at a table of my bosses.

I did get a free beer and a desert out of it though. And endless teasing about it at work.


"Nothing you could cook will ever be as good as the $2.99 all-you-can-eat pizza buffet." - my EX (wonder why he's an ex?)

My eGfoodblog: My corner of the Midwest

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[snip!]

I was the shy, easily intimidated, fat girl - and I wanted to die right there.  Then, of course, the scumbag nazi assistant manager made me bend my fat ass in my tight little rayon skirt over in full view of everyone and clean the whole mess up.  :laugh:  NOW, I can laugh!

Certainly made me :laugh:

I can sort of picture you in that Ponderosa outfit giving everyone a smile as you dabbed at dessert.

Nothing nearly so interesting as the rest of you.

Remember hosting one dinner where Marc de Canck (owner/operator of La Chronique) spent the evening giving my table the Look of Death because one of my invitees changed her mind about the soup she ordered and had a very public hissy fit until they got her a salad.

Or drunken Christmas luncheon when I was working contract: owner's wife insisted everyone wear those reindeer antler deely-bobbers while he got drunk and started doing his octopus imitation with anyone with two X chromosomes.

Getting stuff spilt on me? On par with the course. Water, wine, lot beverages, the odd piece of foie gras sailing across the table…

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I was on a date with a new love at a tiny, romantic restaurant in Fort Lauderdale -- white linen, candle-topped tables, etc.. Since this was the beginning of the relationship, we were totally focused on each other, gazing into each other's eyes, etc. Well, my date offered me bread from the linen-lined bread basket and then put it down on our crammed tabletop. We went back to the eye-gazing, until I suddenly noticed, "Hey, do you smell something burning?" Turned out my date had set down the bread basket with its linen liner directly in the candle's flame -- the whole thing went up in flames! Luckily the table was so small we just knocked over the water glasses to douse the fire.

Love really is blind -- we'll be returning to the restaurant later this year to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary!

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I was in Auckland traveling alone and I took one of those lunch cruises off the harbor. It was all done by buffet and after lunch, they put out a dessert buffet. I walked over and saw a bowl of fruit and what looked like a bowl of vanilla pudding. That pudding looked REALLY good so, I happily filled my bowl with it (just pudding) while the table attendent was giving me strange looks. When I sat down and dug in, I realized it was not pudding at all but whipped cream meant to go on top of the fruit. He must have thought that I really had a hankering for a bowl of whipped cream :smile:

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