In Praise of Doing the Dishes

[Busboy]

There's music, old people music, like the Stones or the Beatles or the Dead, and as Stephanie fetches in the bottles scattered promiscuously through the house, there's more wine – a half glass here, a half-bottle there, Sauternes, Malbec, whatever, it all seems to go with the runny cheese and half-stale leftover bread. ... Maybe a humid slow dance there in the kitchen, before glasses are dried. And, throughout, the relaxing rhythm of washing and drying while the wine and food and the glow of your guests' good humor crawl into your frontal lobe like a high-quality pharmaceutical or the first great day of Autumn. ...

And, at some point, you realize that the hour spent up to your elbows in Liquid Joy, alone with your wife, with all the hard work done might have be one of the best moments of a great day.

Stephanie passed away thirty days ago tonight, a month and a day before she would would have been 50. For the first time in six weeks I cooked in my kitchen, for the kids and some friends. Progress of sorts. But doing dishes alone...

Edited November 25, 2012 by Busboy (log)

[judiu]

Busboy,you have my deepest sympathies. My husband passed away in 1995, and I still have not gotten used to cooking for one. I either eat junk, or just one item, meat or veg. Weird, huh?

[Busboy]

Busboy,you have my deepest sympathies. My husband passed away in 1995, and I still have not gotten used to cooking for one. I either eat junk, or just one item, meat or veg. Weird, huh?

I can see it. Something about making your partner happy and enjoying a meal together that pushies you past the Korean carry-out.

[C. sapidus]

Busboy – I am very sorry for your loss. Words fail. The one time that I met Stephanie, when you hosted that fabulous eGullet crab cake cook-off, it was clear that she was very special (as I am sure you know well).

I definitely understand cooking for your loved ones versus just cooking. I hope that you will recapture the spark over time.

[gfweb]

Words do indeed fail. You are in my prayers.

[pyrguy]

Sorry for your loss. Prayers.

[radtek]

I regret to hear of your recent loss Busboy. It must have made the experience all the more poignant. And you conveyed it wonderfully.

We lost Mom on the 27th of Oct. Really thought I'd have one more Thanksgiving with her and was looking forward to it. Our own gathering was full of reminiscing and one of the best in years. So I''ll wish you the best.

Didn't do any dishes this year. Just had to throw that in...

[ChefRobb]

Great post. I wish I had something more of value to add to the thread but wanted to let you know I enjoyed it.

[Busboy]

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and thoughts.