In Praise of Doing the Dishes

[hjshorter]

Of course an alternate view on the dish-doing with your hubby or wife idea is to not be married and instead to have a paramour come to visit when there are no children about.

The concept involved in this alternate view involves both of you looking at the dishes, him nicely offering to help wash up, then both of you deciding that there are much better things to do than wash dishes.

That would make my mornings while the kids are in school so much more interesting.

Seriously... I agree, there is something to be said for having something on one's mind other than cleaning the kitchen.

Edited September 19, 2005 by hjshorter (log)

[Busboy]

It's a simple task that doesn't take long to accomplish...

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You've never seen my kitchen after a big Saturday night.

[lia]

I've never lived in a home with a dishwasher and I can't imagine it. I find washing dishes relaxing, especially after a holiday dinner at my mother's...when she knows that after it's all over and all the guests are gone, that she can count on me to make the kitchen right. a nice bit of quiet (and digestion) time doing something soothing and helping out my mom who probably prepared a huge feast.

I remember recently reading an item in a NYC newspaper real estate section. It was about an apartment for sale, but the problem was, you had to choose between a W/D and a dishwasher. Now, to me a W/D in my home is a luxury I truly miss from my suburban upbringing. I can't imagine anyone really needing to make the choice.

[Chris Amirault]

Something about cleaning enables us to see the fruits of our labour.  I think this is what makes the otherwise mundane task worthwhile.

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I think that this is simple yet very true. You know that, by the end, things will be as they should be. This experience is different than, say, my attempts to make bread.

[Carrot Top]

Something about cleaning enables us to see the fruits of our labour.  I think this is what makes the otherwise mundane task worthwhile.

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I think that this is simple yet very true. You know that, by the end, things will be as they should be. This experience is different than, say, my attempts to make bread.

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Not to wander off again from Busboy's quite beautiful post, but it must be admitted that any time people mention cleaning the house in a way that makes it sound desirable, delicious, doable, and even sometimes done my mind starts wandering off to the realities that I see.

Regardless of the income level of the household, I see about 75% of the houses I've been in lately dirty, unkempt, messy and unorganized.

Often there is a half-hearted "sorry" given by the people when you walk in. Followed by a "there is no time" "in between work and getting the kids places". The other reason given (again, without any asking or any looks of askance at all) is "There are so many better things to do than clean the house."

(Unfortunately, I do not think they were talking about what I was talking about before but anyway. . )

Look at the popularity of these television shows like "Clean Sweep". They are popular because so many people have houses like this!

Then when you read magazines and such they still report that women (who work outside the house) still manage about 85% of all house-cleaning responsibilities on a daily basis. That makes me cranky too, to hear that.

So. Busboy. Chris. Fresser. Whoever you are that does this. You are One in a Million. Can you teach the others? Please. This notion of "things as they should be" is absolutely brilliant and loveable. And so is the notion that a man can do it too.

Edited September 19, 2005 by Carrot Top (log)

[Fresser]

Something about cleaning enables us to see the fruits of our labour.  I think this is what makes the otherwise mundane task worthwhile.

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I think that this is simple yet very true. You know that, by the end, things will be as they should be. This experience is different than, say, my attempts to make bread.

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So. Busboy. Chris. Fresser. Whoever you are that does this. You are One in a Million. Can you teach the others? Please. This notion of "things as they should be" is absolutely brilliant and loveable. And so is the notion that a man can do it too.

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People have told me that I should open up a cleaning business. Maybe they're right. I can't stand leaving a dirty kitchen--especially when attending a party. A guest that helps clean up is a guest that gets invited back.

Plus I enjoy cooking and creating the mess in the first place. Nothing is as relaxing as hacking up veggies to whip up spaghetti sauce, chili or my famous veggie lasagna.

So why am I still single???

[hjshorter]

Regardless of the income level of the household, I see about 75% of the houses I've been in lately dirty, unkempt, messy and unorganized.

Sounds like my house.

I have a choice. I can either have a perfectly clean house, (and I will be the one doing the cleaning since I am married to the absent-minded professor with a million hobbies who doesn't notice clutter) or I can keep up with my reading. That's a no-brainer for me.

[Carrot Top]

I have a choice.  I can either have a perfectly clean house, (and I will be the one doing the cleaning since I am married to the absent-minded professor with a million hobbies who doesn't notice clutter) or I can keep up with my reading.  That's a no-brainer for me.

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Sounds about right to me, too. Nothing should interfere with reading.

[Carrot Top]

Well. . .okay.

This is hard to admit. But I'm a "neat freak".

I've found that it is not a quality that is attractive to most people. It seems to make them feel like I think they should be neat freaks too, which I don't, but they do anyway.

My only excuse for this failing is that I can not pull my mind together if the house is not orderly. That shows how very fragile the sinews of my mind are, I realize. Oh well.

Really. It is totally incredible how one's sanity can seem to rely on (to use Busboy's example) the dishes being clean.

Aaaaaaaargh.

[LindaK]

My other odd-ball relaxation is cleaning up from a successful dinner party. It doesn't matter how hectic the prep, I always enjoy the company and the meal. But I get the greatest sense of satisfaction when it's 2 am, I shut the door behind the last guest, and look at what's left behind.  All those dishes, wine glasses, pans, and the late hour tell me that everyone had a great evening.  So I put on some cool music, load the dishwasher, wash the crystal by hand, put the empty wine bottles in the recycle bin, and when it's all over, pour myself a small cognac.

Lovely piece, busboy. It reminded me of an earlier thread on "therapeutic kitchen tasks," where I said more or less the same but not nearly so well.

[maggiethecat]

Sigh, Busboy. The most romantic thing I've read in ages --made me want to throw "La Traviata" on the turntable and imagine a happy ending, where Violetta and Alfredo are washing up in Provence.

Reality: Dishwasher has been broken for five years, and we haven't been able to afford to replace it. I hate cleaning, though I appreciate the higher forces that a neat clean, organized house bestows. For two years of my life I could afford to overpay a Bosnian/Australian lady to clean my house every two weeks. I think it was the happiest two years of my life.

I soak the pots, wash the glasses and let everything else soak. I like your way better.

[Carrot Top]

Yes. There definitely is a sense of "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" in this piece.

Just set at home in the kitchen rather than at a table in a bar.

[hjshorter]

Yes. There definitely is a sense of "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" in this piece.

Just set at home in the kitchen rather than at a table in a bar.

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No no, not Hemingway. Too bleak. "Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee." Joyce? He must mention washing up in Ulysses, but it will take a bit to look something up.

[Carrot Top]

No no, not Hemingway.  Too bleak.  "Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee."  Joyce?  He must mention washing up in Ulysses, but it will take a bit to look something up.

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Yes. Busboy as a character in Ulysses. I am enjoying this thought. With the home kitchen as a metaphor for a Life on Rough Seas. . .an adventure, a saga. . .

(I still say that that clean-well lit space was rather jolly, really, as Ernie wrote it. He must have had some really good red wine that night at dinner. . . )

Edited September 20, 2005 by Carrot Top (log)

[hjshorter]

Not sure how Bloom-like Mr Busboy is, although I confess to finding the thought enormously entertaining.

I am reasonably certain that Brave Ulysses never does the dishes, at least not in any of the translations in my possession.

[Busboy]

No no, not Hemingway.  Too bleak.  "Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee."  Joyce?  He must mention washing up in Ulysses, but it will take a bit to look something up.

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Yes. Busboy as a character in Ulysses. I am enjoying this thought. With the home kitchen as a metaphor for a Life on Rough Seas. . .an adventure, a saga. . .

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Or is it Fox's Kitchen Confidential?

All I know: my name is Stephen Dedalus.

[hjshorter]

All I know: my name is Stephen Dedalus.

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Ah yes, A Portrait of the Artist as A Young Busboy.

[Carrot Top]

Ah yes, A Portrait of the Artist as A Young Busboy.

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I'm waiting for it to come out in paperback.

[Chufi]

Really. It is totally incredible how one's sanity can seem to rely on (to use Busboy's example) the dishes being clean.

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Mine too. But unfortunately (?) this only applies to the dishes, the sink, the countertop and the stove. Everything else in my house is in a much more deplorable state.

And everything else really starts right behind the things mentioned above. Kitchenfloor - dirty, check

inside of fridge - check

inside of ove - check

top of oven, where I keep all the spice jars - check

inside of kitchen cabinets - I don't dare to look too close but I'm pretty sure they're dirty too.

etc., etc.

But the dishes get done every single night, with joy. What's up with that??

[Carrot Top]

But the dishes get done every single night, with joy. What's up with that??

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You just know what your priorities are, Chufi.

Get those dishes clean so you can eat quick as a happy little Chufi-colored mouse right off of them again!

[Zucchini Mama]

Oh Busboy,

Your top o' the thread post is poetic, poignant, and HOT! You must write a book. You'll have a international harem in no time.

It hit a nerve in me, because I have such a love-hate relationship with washing the dishes. Some days I do get into the Zen groove, and enjoy every sensual aspect of the task. Some days it's the loneliest time of the day-when I feel like I'm caught in the hausfrau trap. You reminded me of those days when I was in university (fifteen years ago) and we all used to chip in and have low-cost dinner parties with Bob Dylan music in the background. You've inspired me to have a dinner party just for the sheer pleasure of it.

And now I must go have a cold shower. ;-)

Zuke

[Sony]

Beautiful writing- I can't believe I didn't read this till now! I could have used the inspiration ages ago, as I've never cared much about doing dishes!

Actually, scratch that. I have recently found that a combination of 3 things that I don't like:

1. A kitchen that isn't fully clean before I go to bed

2. No dishwasher

3. Bitterly cold winters

that can come together into dishwashing time even I can appreciate.

I like coming back to something that has had to soak overnight the next day after work during the winter. Gives me a chance to warm my hands in sudsy water right after coming in from the cold (and to think about the gameplan for the ensuing meal!)

But after reading this, maybe I'll find more opportunities to find the chore less laborious....

[austramerica]

The first time I visited my now husband's house, the first thing I noticed was the dirty kitchen. That was over 36 years ago now..short of booking into a hotel, I stayed that night as he has a visitor's room. Four children and many years later, he still delights in telling his friends that the first thing I said that next morning was "I don't cook in a dirty kitchen!" and he was that short of throwing me out of his house.

I don't mind other people's dirty kitchen, couldn't make a comment of how they live either, but my kitchen gets the clean-up, tidy up and disinfected before and after cooking.

I love cleaning...as well as love cooking...actually.

[maggiethecat]

I thought of this most excellent topic while I was howling over Tim Hayward's piece in "The Guardian"about cleaning up the house after the New Year's Eve bash. A snippet:

Things usually start just after the final guest is crowbarred, howling and puking into the last cab. The Baker is sent to bed, the lights go back on and, after the initial shock subsides, I zigzag around the room extinguishing candles, disposing of discarded paraphernalia and isolating any areas requiring later hazmat cleanup.

By the time the first patrol is complete, I'm in a high-function trance - the combined result of alcoholic singlemindedness and the confusion that comes with incipient renal shutdown. Those leftovers need covering and fridging; recork any half-empty wine; I might as well scrape those plates and stack them in the dishwasher. I'm usually compos enough not to attempt glass washing but I stack them near the sink for tomorrow and I've been known to get the pans soaking and the stockpot set up.

Do yourself a favor and read the whole piece here.

[nakji]

My husband and I reached an agreement early in our marriage: I cook, he cleans. If he learns to cook, I have to start doing dishes.

I keep all of my cookbooks under lock and key.

The only time I can ever recall enjoying doing the dishes was once, before I was married. I threw a wedding shower for my friend who had just returned from six months in St. Petersburg. I decided to cook blinis, and dirtied every single mismatched hand-me-down dish in that kitchen. The blinis were fabulous, but so was the vodka she'd brought back with her...I have only vague memories of clattering around the kitchen that night, cleaning up and singing Dido songs at the top of my lungs to the accompanying CD...which was also cranked. Dido. Yikes.

I woke up the next morning to a spotless kitchen and a random pile of softly snoring friends on the sofa and floor, which has got to be the best morning-after scenario there is, really.