Dinner II: The Gallery of Regrettable Foods (Part 1)

[Meez]

Jerk paste:

This is the complement to Z's post: looks like a sample, tastes great. Take note, gentle reader, of the ooze at the bottom.

[Sugarella]

←

YOU WIN!

Edited June 10, 2006 by Sugarella (log)

[Grub]

Been having a real bad stretch recently, and just didn't feel inspired -- couldn't really think of anything I wanted to cook at all... But then, a very simple, yet very classic dish came to me: pasta alla carbonara. It's so simple: pasta with a butter-cream-egg sauce, parm cheese stirred in, and crisp bacon and parsley. No brainer.

Then the sauce just completely curdled on me. I don't know if I heated the sauce too much, or added too much cheese, or what. I have no idea.

I was so distressed I didn't even think to take a picture of the mess, which bummed me out even further -- I couldn't even post a picture of it for a laugh. Augh.

[Shaya]

Grub, sorry to hear you feeling so defeated.

When you make carbonara traditionally, you combine the eggs and parm and pepper in a bowl and once the pasta is cooked, you transfer the pasta to the bowl and toss in your bacon. Toss quickly so that the eggs don't curdle. The heat of the pasta will cook the egg ever so slightly to thicken it. Add a bit of pasta water if it seems too thick. That's it. Traditionally cream is not used, and the sauce is not heated on the stovetop. Hope this helps.

[Megan Blocker]

Grub, sorry to hear you feeling so defeated. 

When you make carbonara traditionally, you combine the eggs and parm and pepper in a bowl and once the pasta is cooked, you transfer the pasta to the bowl and toss in your bacon.  Toss quickly so that the eggs don't curdle.    The heat of the pasta will cook the egg ever so slightly to thicken it.  Add a bit of pasta water if it seems too thick.  That's it.  Traditionally cream is not used, and the sauce is not heated on the stovetop.  Hope this helps.

←

And don't forget the black pepper!!!!

I had some carbonara at Otto last week, and they also added slivered scallions - not traditional, but pretty good nonetheless.

[Grub]

When you make carbonara traditionally, you combine the eggs and parm and pepper in a bowl and once the pasta is cooked, you transfer the pasta to the bowl and toss in your bacon ...

←

Oh, now that is a method that I read something about, somewhere -- sort of rings a bell, that... Thank you. I'll have a stab at it -- and if I still mess it up, I'll endeavor to keep a level head and at least take a picture of the mess Thanks.

[Jensen]

You can temper the egg mixture with a wee bit of the pasta water too, just before adding the pasta to the egg bowl.

[Radio7]

The Naked Chef?! We don't keep a TV, so I'm not sure of this. But I believe that's what I was told.

Miriam

←

Actually, I believe it is Bob Blumenthal (not sure of last name) - the guy who drove around the country in a van shaped like a toaster to promote his book - who first mentionned this method. Well, that's where *I* first heard of it anyway.....

I wonder if Electrosol makes a good marinade?

~Radio

[snowangel]

Grub, I, too, am feeling defeated. I have only cooked a couple of things in the last two weeks that were worthy of reporting on.

But, my most recent disaster was Saturday night:

The Goan Chicken from Molly Stevens All About Braising. I describe the process here. Not only was it not tasty, but it was an unbelievably time consuming meal. All the more disappointing, because if I'm going to make that big a mess making a meal, at least it should be tasty!

[Shaya]

When you make carbonara traditionally, you combine the eggs and parm and pepper in a bowl and once the pasta is cooked, you transfer the pasta to the bowl and toss in your bacon ...

←

Oh, now that is a method that I read something about, somewhere -- sort of rings a bell, that... Thank you. I'll have a stab at it -- and if I still mess it up, I'll endeavor to keep a level head and at least take a picture of the mess Thanks.

←

Grub, you can check out some of the renditions here on the Lazio thread: The Cooking and Cuisine of Lazio

[peanutgirl]

My first post to this thread... Please don't be kind .

[tryska]

While popular in Cantonese cuisine, they're not often to be found in Washington, D.C.!!!!

ok i had to check on this thread after like a year - and megan you totally cracked me up with this.

nice one!

peanutgirl - i'm not seeing your problem - it looks delicious.

[Reefpimp]

My first post to this thread... Please don't be kind  .

←

Looks a little on the dry side, but I don't think it actually looks bad. What was it and how did it taste?

[monavano]

My first post to this thread... Please don't be kind  .

←

Big plump shrimp and fresh cilantro? Yum! Bring it on.

Did it taste bad or something? Because, it looks very appealing.

[peanutgirl]

Misleading... sorry. It was supposed to be filling for spring rolls or something akin anyway. The rice papers all disintgrated into a gloppy mess so I just said F*it and mixed all the stuff together. It was regrettable because I wanted, meant, for it to be something else.

It does taste pretty good though. Kids liked it.

[BryanZ]

Boooo. If it tasted and looked good, pshaw. We don't know that it was meant for something else.

[purplewiz]

Boooo.  If it tasted and looked good, pshaw.  We don't know that it was meant for something else.

←

This is something I have had drilled into me over and over: most people are going to take whatever you serve them at face value, and if you don't tell them that it wasn't how you meant it to be, they'll never guess. I thought it looked like a very nice Asian noodle salad!

Marcia.

[peanutgirl]

Well it was regrettable to me for reasons already stated. Damn...I didn't know there was a password to get on this thread .

[BryanZ]

It's tough in here. It's not all lovey-dovey like that damned Dinner thread, no, no.

[dockhl]

Well it was regrettable to me for reasons already stated. Damn...I didn't know there was a password to get on this thread  .

←

No password but, as BryanZ knows, we have our standards. Consider mizducky's eggplant mash..........

Sorry, BryanZ, too nice. 

You gotta realize the competition here is fierce ! Look at mizducky's entry from May 25, 06

Now THAT is impressive. 

(Your's does get an award for most heartbreaking misuse of a lovely ingredient, tho !  )

or meez's lovely jerk paste.......

Both tasted good, but LOOKS ? Something else. BTW, peanutgirl, welcome.....

[Daniel]

Sorry folks but, I think this takes home the blue ribbon.. This actually caused immediate illness.. Rancid veal kidney.. Fried in butter and finished in a mustard shallot cream sauce..

A disgusting camera phone picture to boot.. I didnt look so bad in real life, but the taste of the kidney made up for it..

[handmc]

Oh man, that looks horrific. I guess there is no "bite" photo with this one.

[Grub]

Rancid? Damn! That's a first in the thread, I think... Good one!

How long did it spend in the fridge? Did you get it from a dodgy butcher or something?

[mizducky]

It is indeed challenging to make kidneys look pretty on a plate.

Totally leaving aside any problems such as rancidity.

Their odor when being cooked also tends to give many people pause (sez she who once, many years ago, almost came to blows with a housemate's guest over a kidney stew--I wasn't even cooking it for anybody besides myself, but alas the cooking smells didn't know that. )

[Daniel]

Oh man, that looks horrific. I guess there is no "bite" photo with this one.

←

Haha.. No, no bite.. Actually, the whole dinner was only two bites..